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31 Dec 99 - 03:06 PM (#156171) Subject: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Tom Dula I killed poor little Laura Foster. I'll hang my head and cry. |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:08 PM (#156172) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie I killed Pretty Polly. |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:13 PM (#156174) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine And I'll take the heat for Cock Robin -- but he deserved it! |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:29 PM (#156176) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Rick Fielding Mr Dula. DID you take her on the mountain? Did you hide her shoes? Where will you be this time tomorrow? Funny. There have been some wicked threads lately. Glad to see satire ain't dead. Rick |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:37 PM (#156180) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain i burned susie cleland. |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:41 PM (#156185) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall poor Elaine Smith did me dirt (pronounced ELLEN by bluegrass singers) |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:47 PM (#156189) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Clifton53 Last night at a party I murdered "I Shall Be Released". Sorry. |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:48 PM (#156190) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mike Billo Investigators are seeking a possible link between this, and another crime in which fiddle screws were made from the little finger thumbs of the victim. |
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31 Dec 99 - 03:57 PM (#156194) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain and what about the harp that was strung with some poor woman's golden hair? there's a psycho on the loose! |
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31 Dec 99 - 04:04 PM (#156196) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall DUH,,I killed the Wendy bird too |
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31 Dec 99 - 04:08 PM (#156200) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Chet W. The chances are high that many of us will kill a few brain cells tonight. Be on the lookout. May God be with the cops, firemen, and EMTs tonight. Chet |
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31 Dec 99 - 04:10 PM (#156201) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: reeebop i ate the last of the christmas cookies. and i'm sorry. ...but they were soooooooo good.mmmmmm. |
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31 Dec 99 - 04:10 PM (#156202) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Dear Chet, From the look of some of the threads here lately, I'd say that some of us have already killed a few brain cells -- Oh heck, I'll fess up to that one too!! |
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31 Dec 99 - 04:28 PM (#156208) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: In two hours, thirty five minutes, I'm going to kill this pest the 20th century....it has it coming. The Burren ranger. ps...Now, who the blazes killed Liberty Valance? |
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31 Dec 99 - 04:55 PM (#156218) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Paul G. I was an unwitting accomplice in the hanging of Tom Dooley. Ah, that's better -- a little confession is surely good for the soul. Now where's the champagne? |
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31 Dec 99 - 05:08 PM (#156222) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 I am once again struck with the old George Carlin routine and I went back and replaced the word kill with the word fuck. Great thread........... BTW, I killed Davey Moore, but I don't know why he died and I ain't got no reason for.......and I was the one who ran Percy off the road too. Spaw |
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31 Dec 99 - 05:08 PM (#156223) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: sophocleese I'm going to kill a few brain cells tonight but on a positive note I'm going to give up the 1900's ...permanently. |
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31 Dec 99 - 05:25 PM (#156231) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Well, tonight I'm going to cross the Clyde-water to see my Maid Margaret--oof! My heart's bleeding again...BTW yesterday they hung the criminal MacPherson. Imagine busting a fiddle over someone's head! They kept blaming me for it--something about a clock. Well, I never could tell time that well... --Mbo |
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31 Dec 99 - 05:41 PM (#156235) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Alice I shot the sheriff... but I did not shoot the deputy. |
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31 Dec 99 - 06:08 PM (#156243) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bbc Confession is good for the soul. I'm innocent! ;) bbc |
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31 Dec 99 - 06:16 PM (#156246) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Duane D. I killed the fruit cake, but I didn't make it |
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31 Dec 99 - 06:18 PM (#156248) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Apart from Cock Robin (and he DID deserve it . . .) I will admit to being the one who put the Bop in the bop-de-bop-de-bop AND the one who put the Shang in the shang-a-lang-a-ding-dong . . . Ahhhhh, I feel better already! |
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31 Dec 99 - 06:30 PM (#156257) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Stewie But who killed Norma Jean? |
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31 Dec 99 - 06:41 PM (#156261) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing and, why was Bonnie lying and why over the ocean? |
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31 Dec 99 - 06:44 PM (#156263) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo I just shot them, I blew their heads open. And I heard them scream in their agony. I couldn't help it! I tried to run, but they gave me a gun, and told me the duty I owed to mt fatherland. So cruel, that no mercy tool... --Mbo |
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31 Dec 99 - 07:04 PM (#156272) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: raredance I just set the cake there. The Weather Channel didn't say nothing about rain. |
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31 Dec 99 - 07:54 PM (#156294) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen It was all the talk about nippin' it in the bud....I shot the deputy. |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:01 PM (#156300) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bseed(charleskratz) Well, guys, I guess it's my turn. I put the overalls in Mrs. Murphy's chowder. --seedO'flynn |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:05 PM (#156303) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Well, here's the place to tell the truth -- It wasn't Mrs. O'Leary's cow that warmed up Old Chicago -- that's right, it was ME -- I didn't think that three hot whiskeys after 10 pints of the black vile stuff would matter that much . . . (hic!) -- Áine |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:14 PM (#156306) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine And while I'm at it (confessing, that is), you know that little problem Lizzie B. had with her folks -- that's right, it was me . . . Oh, and by the way, they got it wrong in the song -- it was 42 . . . |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:21 PM (#156309) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Rebecca Young didn't fall into the water...she was pushed. |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:23 PM (#156312) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mark Cohen And I'm the one they threw off the Tallahatchee bridge...and I'm all growed up and comin' to get you, Maw! |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:24 PM (#156313) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky ...and I wrote the book of Love. |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:54 PM (#156332) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Richard Bridge Aine You got the words wrong. And I know what you did last summer. |
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31 Dec 99 - 08:56 PM (#156335) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Liz the Squeak Clementine was one of mine, yeah, she looked real good in them concrete boots, made up real pretty, looked just like them boxes you get herrings in.... She won't be kissing anyone but the fishes from now on.....
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31 Dec 99 - 09:02 PM (#156341) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Well, I'm glad one of us remembers, Richard -- I've slept since then . . . -- Áine |
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31 Dec 99 - 09:15 PM (#156351) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 I was just sitting in the street building my dulcimers when this guy, name of Pontius, asked to borrow a hammer....How was I to know? Spaw |
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31 Dec 99 - 09:18 PM (#156353) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Hey there Cleigh's little friend -- you are truly the Spaw(n) of the Deveel!! |
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31 Dec 99 - 09:19 PM (#156354) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: DonMeixner To Whom it may concern, We, The Combined Flax and Tow Growers and Manufacturers Guild of Belfast, Ire. would like to admit to and take resposinility for some of the responsibility in the recent death of Mrs. Imma Bloat, dec. We realize that while Mrs. Bloat, dec. was killed by a transected carotid artery. This being caused by a razor, manufactured in Bonn, Germany by Kuutz & Scleitzoff & Co. It was the failure of a product produced by our union that precipitated this event. And for that we are profoundly sorry. Our subsidiary Guild, Amalgamated Eggs and Marrow Bone Producers of Greater Wexford have a similiar addmission regarding a recent drowning in that town. For both events we are profoundly sorry and willing to stand for our crimes. Mr. B. Onmotts, Pres. AE&MBP of GW & CF&TG and MG of B,I |
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31 Dec 99 - 09:29 PM (#156357) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Remember Elvis' famous 'twitch' -- yep, I'm the one that poured the itching powder in his pants -- and that was me that gave Chuck Barry the big wedgie the night he first did the chicken dance, too! |
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01 Jan 00 - 12:48 AM (#156420) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall it's not MY fault..I was raised in the state that invented prohibition..so..I'm afraid I killed John Barleycorn. sorry.. spaw..you did it again lmao |
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01 Jan 00 - 12:56 AM (#156425) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp I caused the wreck on the highway -- and I didn't stop to pray! |
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01 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM (#156433) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Okay look I didn't do it see? But I can't have my best friend's wife lie for me now can I? Fockit...I guess I'm toast. Spaw |
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01 Jan 00 - 01:16 AM (#156436) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp bless me father for i have sinned-it has been one post since my last confession --- the old friend at the tennesse waltz -- it was me peace (Y) thosp |
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01 Jan 00 - 01:26 AM (#156439) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Hey its a real bad roadbed between Lynchburg and Danville and there was no way my crew could finish reballasting and spiking that night, so I told the boys to go on home and we'd finish on Monday. Dumb SOB was runnin' way too fast anyway. Spaw |
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01 Jan 00 - 04:56 AM (#156490) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Alan of Australia And our family misses her terribly. Alan Foster |
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01 Jan 00 - 06:46 AM (#156501) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Little Tommy Flynn I pushed the pussy |
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01 Jan 00 - 06:49 AM (#156502) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: -gargoyle Or is it somone who changed his/her Cookie |
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01 Jan 00 - 08:32 AM (#156519) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Hasek If Tom Dula only knew that Laura Foster contracted that disease from John Henry...........and if only I had a hammer, I'd hammer this morning............. |
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01 Jan 00 - 10:40 AM (#156556) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall If I had a hammer there wouldnt be any drummers |
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01 Jan 00 - 12:00 PM (#156587) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: sophocleese I killed the skunk in the road. |
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01 Jan 00 - 12:13 PM (#156592) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Sorry, I accidentally left Jenny O' the braes' door open... --Mbo |
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01 Jan 00 - 01:03 PM (#156605) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: lajka Do you know what.......................................... I killed Bambis mother.. |
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01 Jan 00 - 01:10 PM (#156608) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: lajka And I killed bambi too. |
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01 Jan 00 - 01:20 PM (#156613) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain forget the foster chick: i killed laura palmer. |
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01 Jan 00 - 02:09 PM (#156633) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing And, I am going to kill this thread!!!! KA-BOOM! |
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01 Jan 00 - 02:11 PM (#156636) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mikal Well.. As I was out walkin' on Kilgarum mountain, I spied Coronel Farrel, and his money he was countin'. So snatched up me pistol and I rattled me saber sayin' stand and deliver for I am the bold deciever.... Mikal |
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01 Jan 00 - 03:19 PM (#156668) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo Mikal, perchance wert there whisky in his jar? BTW I was walking up the road the other day, and this guy wanted me to trade my fiddle for a glass of wine. Of course I told him no. I don't want the world to think me mad! --Mbo |
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01 Jan 00 - 03:55 PM (#156678) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: arkie Have enjoyed this thread more than the other confession, but I too have a confession to make. Another thread on this topic and I'll feel like killing somebody. |
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01 Jan 00 - 04:12 PM (#156683) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Faded Denim "Mudcatters!"..... You guys kill me. Reid |
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01 Jan 00 - 04:17 PM (#156685) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Paul G. I sunk the Edmund Fitzgerald. ...but I swear I was nowhere near any iceburgs in 1912... |
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01 Jan 00 - 05:02 PM (#156706) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: _gargoyle Nice to start with a clean slate
90% of those crimes were being pinned on me.
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01 Jan 00 - 05:11 PM (#156712) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain i am wickedly laughing my ass off. that was a good one, bud. |
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01 Jan 00 - 06:44 PM (#156745) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain and all the federales say they could have had me anyday |
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01 Jan 00 - 08:05 PM (#156768) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Den I pushed Humpty Dumpty...and I'd do it again, Den |
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01 Jan 00 - 08:12 PM (#156771) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Caitrin Remember the penknife in Jim's back in "Lily, Rosemary, and the Jack of Hearts"? That was me. |
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01 Jan 00 - 08:12 PM (#156772) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Bugsy I never killed anyone, But right now, I could MURDER a Chinese!!! Cheers Bugsy |
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01 Jan 00 - 10:18 PM (#156825) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky OK. So I'm the woman to blame...but you won't see me wasting away in Margaritaville. |
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01 Jan 00 - 10:21 PM (#156827) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Yep, that was me on the Orient Express, too -- jaysus the money I made from all those eejits who wanted to take the blame . . . was that a mousetrap I just heard snap? |
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01 Jan 00 - 10:29 PM (#156831) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Okay, so my name was on an envelope at the bottom of about a half a ton of garbage.....Just another case of American blind justice. Spaw |
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01 Jan 00 - 10:48 PM (#156834) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: harpgirl ...I had a cow (with apologies to Gertrude Stein)that slobbered bad, down in the Arkansas... |
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01 Jan 00 - 11:56 PM (#156867) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy I thought the razor blades were Dublin made, Probably irrelevant now but a reference to Don's company admitting that the cause of Mrs. Bloat's sad demise was....... , Never mind. |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:00 AM (#156868) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Come on now, Brendy -- aren't you the fella that finally did in Lovely Rita the Meter Maid? You can tell us, lad -- we're all friends here . . . ;-) Le ghra, Áine |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:05 AM (#156869) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Davey All right, I admit it... I stepped on a crack, and broke m............. |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:14 AM (#156872) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Wesley S And if I'd just confessed earlier that poor woman wouldn't be walking these hills in her long black veil... |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:45 AM (#156877) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen I never killed a man that didn't cause me any pain... |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:53 AM (#156882) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Alright, I admit it. I've never been to Spain, but I kinda' like the music. Spaw |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:56 AM (#156883) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing And, I knew the guy who went out in the desert on a horse with no name |
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02 Jan 00 - 12:57 AM (#156884) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: catspaw49 Honey, I know I could've loved you better. I really DIDN'T mean to be unkind......Ya' know, it was the last thing on my mind. Really. Spaw |
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02 Jan 00 - 01:00 AM (#156885) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy What ever you say, say nothin' when you speak about you know what. For if you know who should hear you, You know what you'll get. They'll take you off to you know where, for you wouldn't know how long. So for you know whose sake don't let anyone hear you sing this song |
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02 Jan 00 - 02:22 AM (#156897) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bseed(charleskratz) It wasn't Mary...I had that little lamb (and then I ate her). Catspaw |
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02 Jan 00 - 02:25 AM (#156902) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy Cæsar ad sum iam forte Brutus et erat Cæsar sic in omnibus, Brutus sic iubet. |
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02 Jan 00 - 02:38 AM (#156907) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Áine Remember the spider and Miss Muffett? Me, too, I'm afraid . . . but, heck, I can never resist the temptation of a great big bowl of curds and whey! And really, the look on her face was worth it -- stuck up little prude . . . |
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02 Jan 00 - 02:55 AM (#156911) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen Johnny's as helpless as a kitten up a tree....I chased him. |
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02 Jan 00 - 08:57 AM (#156945) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Faded Denim Well... That's what you get! (for lovin' me) |
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02 Jan 00 - 03:21 PM (#157051) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: kendall seed the lamb or Mary? |
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02 Jan 00 - 03:44 PM (#157059) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Alice Bang, bang, Maxwell's silver hammer.... come on, 'fess up, Max. (oh, never mind) alice |
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02 Jan 00 - 04:20 PM (#157072) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Art Thieme Hey, people, I'm Cock Robin---and I ain't dead ! (I did change my name a long time ago. I'm Jewish. My real name is Penis Rabinowitz.) |
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02 Jan 00 - 05:29 PM (#157103) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen I've got a gal in Tuscaloosa, Sugar Lee is her name. Ain't good-lookin', and she's mean as thunder, but I love her just the same. |
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02 Jan 00 - 05:31 PM (#157105) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Dani Got two reasons why I cry away each lonely night. The first one's named Sweet Anne Marie and she's my heart's delight. Second one is prison, baby, the sheriff's on my trail And if he catches up with me I'll spend my life in jail... |
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02 Jan 00 - 05:34 PM (#157108) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: emily rain sure do wish i was a mole in the ground. |
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02 Jan 00 - 05:56 PM (#157118) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Lonesome EJ I put the bop in the bop-shoo-bop shoo-bop I put the lam in the lamma lamma ding dong I ALSO put the dit in the dit-di-dit-di-dit In addition, I wrote the Book of Love. LEJ |
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02 Jan 00 - 07:24 PM (#157135) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp London Bridges -----that was me |
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02 Jan 00 - 07:30 PM (#157137) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mbo I'm standing on a mountaintop--I wonder if she can hear me? --Mbo |
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02 Jan 00 - 07:38 PM (#157142) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Clifton53 I'm renting an attic bedroom to (ssshhhhh), Elvis. Thank you, thank you very much. |
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02 Jan 00 - 07:43 PM (#157143) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing Wonder if he know's what she's dreaming of?
The ole hootie owl hootie-hoo's to the dove |
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02 Jan 00 - 07:50 PM (#157145) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Now LEJ-------I've already confessed to writing the Book of Love. I also know where and I know when, but I'LL NEVER TELL! Mary |
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02 Jan 00 - 08:13 PM (#157153) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Dave ( the ancient mariner ) Twas I that killed the lovely Albatross.. |
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02 Jan 00 - 08:40 PM (#157159) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: jeffp As long as everybody's in a confessional mood, I'm the guy that didn't marry pretty Pamela Brown. |
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02 Jan 00 - 08:55 PM (#157167) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: katlaughing There was a hole in my stocking last time I danced by the light of the moon. Was the same night the buffalo gals came out. |
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02 Jan 00 - 09:04 PM (#157171) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Caitrin Did the Buffalo Gals come out of the closet, kat? |
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02 Jan 00 - 09:17 PM (#157184) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Lonesome EJ Sorry, Mary. I've been telling people for years that I wrote the Book of Love and never encountered one doubter. Then I actually run into the author on the Mudcat...I mean, what are the chances?! Anyway, I am in receipt of the Cease and Desist Order from your attorney, and have every intention of complying. I did not write The Book of Love, though I had a small part in the movie. LEJ |
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02 Jan 00 - 09:51 PM (#157212) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky We can say it was under my/your/our psuedonymn. I'll let you choose one. |
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02 Jan 00 - 09:53 PM (#157213) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky oops. always profreed. |
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02 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM (#157216) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Dave Swan It's been a tough day for me. I just had to go tell Aunt Rhody. E.S. |
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02 Jan 00 - 09:54 PM (#157217) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp Dave (TAM) by thy long grey beard and the glint in thy eye - i was one of the three peace (Y) thosp |
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02 Jan 00 - 11:36 PM (#157274) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: But did you make Bambi sad? |
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02 Jan 00 - 11:37 PM (#157276) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Cara I told Clementine to jump on in the water...but I feel really bad... Additionally, my whereabouts on the night they drove old Dixie down ahve never been satisfactorily established. |
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02 Jan 00 - 11:56 PM (#157285) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: _gargoyle Just curious Jeff P....do you work at the University of Wisconsin???? ( You butts were whipped today;;;;and your bio...resides there.) |
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03 Jan 00 - 01:53 AM (#157315) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Kernow John Remember the Old Dunn Cow? Last time I struck a match! God that feels better. Baz |
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03 Jan 00 - 04:21 AM (#157339) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: bseed(charleskratz) A couple of my friends asked me to forward these messages: I DIDN"T DO IT, DAMMIT. You know I wasn't there. --McCavity, the Mystery Cat It was a bum rap. I did not shoot Mr. Howard. Jesse's brother Frank did. I just claimed the reward. Robert Ford --seed |
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03 Jan 00 - 08:51 AM (#157364) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: jeffp No, Garg, I don't work at Wisconsin. The commute from Maryland would kill me and my old car. Is someone up there using me as a pseudonym? Maybe he's the one that did marry pretty Pamela Brown! |
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03 Jan 00 - 09:06 AM (#157365) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Big Mick AWWWWWWRRRRRIIIIIGGGGGHHHHHHTTTT!!!!!!! I admit it.......it was me..........I write the songs that make the whole world sing, the songs of looooovvvvvveeeee and everything..............and I killed Barry Manilow................SO SUE ME, ALREADY.......I still say I did the world a favor! Big Mick |
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03 Jan 00 - 09:18 AM (#157369) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer Big Mick, We're forever indebted to you. And it was me who murdered that dear little girl, whose name was Rose Conlee. |
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03 Jan 00 - 09:29 AM (#157372) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Wesley S I came in through the bathroom window { and I wasn't looking for George Harrison } |
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03 Jan 00 - 09:45 AM (#157377) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mary in Kentucky Seed--Does your friend, McCavity Cat, hang out with the Magical Mister Mistopheles? He's been accused of a lot of mischief. BTW, does anyone know if his song is an "upside down" version of Rachmaninoff's Theme on a Variation of Paganinni? I think I heard somewhere that it was. (Sorry for the thread creep) |
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03 Jan 00 - 11:11 AM (#157392) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Allan C. It was I who kissed Flora 'neath the tree. I should also admit to my involvement in the abduction and murder of the gray goose and the later slandering of the fox (who was only guilty of receiving stolen goods). It was during this event that I also buried a freshly killed turkey in the straw (although some say it was hay).
I traveled quite a bit in the years which followed. I left my home and my family and trekked across the Blue Ridge Mountains. I ran the ridges of Tennessee, rode that great Northern Railway, walked that lonesome valley, crossed the wide Missouri, then went down south and eventually made it down to the coast of California (where I was partly raised).
Among my better accomplishments was the building of a tower which stood forty feet high. I also once built a railroad (where I met a fine fellow named Pat); but now it's done. Recently, I spent my last greenback dollar on a speckled roan which I swear I didn't know was stolen. The crime was blamed on me and so I am currently having my mail forwarded to a correctional facility in Tijuana. |
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03 Jan 00 - 11:23 AM (#157398) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Richard Bridge I had a penknife long and sharp.......... Oh, yes, and I sank the Princess Alice....... And the Rueben James............ And I gave Queen Jane that fatal caesarian..... And I'm the young man they call Ramble Away. |
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03 Jan 00 - 11:26 AM (#157399) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer If no one's fessin' up to Liberty Valance, I'll claim it. |
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03 Jan 00 - 11:36 AM (#157403) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Allan C. But two shots rang out, Steve. So you could possibly be innocent. |
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03 Jan 00 - 12:49 PM (#157428) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer Thanks Allan, who needs Johnny Cochrane with you around? |
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03 Jan 00 - 01:01 PM (#157431) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: I said, "Hang 'em, hang 'em HIGH!" |
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03 Jan 00 - 02:32 PM (#157457) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Lonesome EJ I was standing near the Grassy Knoll, and saw the whole thing... |
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03 Jan 00 - 02:45 PM (#157461) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Bert and I killed Anne Boleyn. HENRY VIII. |
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03 Jan 00 - 02:46 PM (#157462) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: wildlone I hear that train a'coming, coming round the bend. don't bend over on the railroad track, it will get you in the end. |
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03 Jan 00 - 04:24 PM (#157498) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Peter T. WHO SO YOU LOVE, I HOPE....
Who do you love, I hope? |
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03 Jan 00 - 08:37 PM (#157620) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: JenEllen I fought the law......... |
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03 Jan 00 - 09:06 PM (#157643) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: jeffp I am Spartacus! |
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03 Jan 00 - 09:29 PM (#157650) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: vikinglass Serial killer wannabes often confess to crimes they did not commit. |
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03 Jan 00 - 11:35 PM (#157701) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Cuz'N' Jan Hey! I was just looking for a song, and I found y'all. But please, I'm not prepared to die. Knoxville Girl P.S. I didn't do nothin' |
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04 Jan 00 - 12:24 AM (#157721) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: ddw It was me did Omie Wise. And while I was on the lam from that, that damned sheriff locked my leg to 35 pounds of Blackjack County Chain. But he got his. Made me so mad I kicked that rock onto the tracks that derailed the FFV and drilled the hole that sank that Turkish enemy in the lowland sea. david |
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04 Jan 00 - 01:13 AM (#157739) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Brendy Oh, I don't know about all this! I think it's my destiny to be the king of pain. |
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04 Jan 00 - 02:09 AM (#157751) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Jimmy I waited until his Rolls Royce stopped at the lights and then I blew his lordship's brains out. Ha! No wonder he didn't notice the lights had changed. But George knew it wasn't suicide so I had to try to kill him too. (shortly to become a BBC "Murder most Foul" presentation) |
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04 Jan 00 - 11:10 AM (#157825) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Danlbear I'm a good boy...I aint never done nothin'. |
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04 Jan 00 - 11:27 AM (#157831) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Davey I demolished the Corn Flakes I obliterated the Rice Krispies I terminated the Shreddies I ended the Captain Crunch I stabbed the Shredded Wheat I shot the Puffed Rice I am a cereal killer. Davey... (:>) |
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04 Jan 00 - 11:52 AM (#157842) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Nathan in Texas It's not like I killed anyone. All I did was leave the cake out in the rain |
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04 Jan 00 - 12:29 PM (#157855) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Parkes I've got Captain Queeg's strawberries! Sorry about the ... trouble, guys. Steve Oh, and I've got the Nostromo's cat, too ... |
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04 Jan 00 - 07:33 PM (#158037) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Caitrin BTW, I should also admit that Richard III was innocent. I knocked off the Little Princes. |
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04 Jan 00 - 11:44 PM (#158201) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Faded Denim I think it's about time someone killed this thread. But it can't be me - I'm an innocent! Well - I was.. |
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05 Jan 00 - 01:03 AM (#158220) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp the shot heard round the world--yup it was me -- just about took off my toe too! peace (Y) thosp |
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05 Jan 00 - 01:45 AM (#158236) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Metchosin I put the tire track down Humphry's back...
I threw shit at the cook
And hung Paddy Doyle for his boots
I slew the Bonnie Earl of Moray and Lady Mondegreen
I fight authority, authority always wins....
I fell in to a burning ring of fire.....
I'm sorry,...... so sorry....... I always come on to these threads after the novelty has worn off for everyone else.
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05 Jan 00 - 03:46 AM (#158258) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: brewmstr@telusplanet.net - Peter Sanderson O.K. I'm busted...thanks to me, Delia's gone ...but it took a lot of ammo y'know..(BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round..BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round..BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round...(Dangit, just die...this is expensive ammo)...BANG) Delia's gone? No dangit...One more round... I have come to the conclusion that Delia is...one of the horrible UNDEAD! PJS |
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05 Jan 00 - 08:44 PM (#158687) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: johnp Billy Jo did't jump....I pushed |
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05 Jan 00 - 09:23 PM (#158733) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie-O There I wuz, mindin my own business, had a nice steady racket of lovin em and leavin em, when this ship pulls up alongside me anchorage, and it's full of sailor babes dressed in mens clothing, and all these breasts falling out in the moonlight, and I knew every damn one of them and they was all lookin fer me...I was outta there so quick, I didn't bother to weigh anchor, just let the chain go, fired up the diesel and headed fer open water or the nearest iceberg, who cares really... If Greenpeace hadn't borrowed me Zodiac I[d a been round the point in it before you could say "allegations of patrimony" W-O |
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06 Jan 00 - 03:54 AM (#158886) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Liza Johnson I changed the locks: that's why your key don't fit in my lock no more RtS |
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06 Jan 00 - 11:24 AM (#158974) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Reynard the Fox (and associates) Don't tell Aunt Rhody, but I killed the grey goose (and can't understand why there are no more golden eggs.) RtS |
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06 Jan 00 - 04:51 PM (#159122) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie-O That's how they showed their respect for Paddy Murphy.... |
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06 Jan 00 - 06:20 PM (#159198) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Bluesy I started a joke... |
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06 Jan 00 - 06:31 PM (#159203) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Mac The Knife About two seconds ago, I killed God and that means that any second now, all existance as we know will cease to ex......... |
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06 Jan 00 - 09:56 PM (#159325) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Willie-O ...ercise any self-restraint |
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06 Jan 00 - 11:59 PM (#159404) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: vikinglass I shoved False Sir John off the cliff. |
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07 Jan 00 - 11:05 AM (#159551) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: Steve Latimer I was the man, The Mississippi Gambler, who said that he'd be home tonight. |
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07 Jan 00 - 07:56 PM (#159751) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: thosp parting the red sea -- that was me! |
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08 Jan 00 - 12:14 AM (#159820) Subject: RE: Confession: I killed Laura Foster From: BarbaraLynn I wore a necktie and a Panama hat; My passport shows a face from Another time and place, but I look Nothin´like that ... And all the remnants of my Recent past are Scattered in the wild wind... Not overly sorry the island sank, just couldn't resist turning up that boiler to see what would happen. Girls just wanna have fun! And didn't want to go back anyway to Black Diamond Bay. BarbaraLynn |