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04 Feb 00 - 04:10 PM (#173647) Subject: Wish I was a fascinating bitch ^^ From: GUEST,Allan S. I just came across the following from my college days. Is it a song? poem? is there more ??? I wish I was a fascinating bitch I'd never be poor, I'd always be rich I'd live in a house with a little red light I'd sleep all day and work all night And every month I'd take a vacation And drive my customers to Masturbation And once a year I'd go hog wild and have myself an Illegitimate child I wish I was a fascinating bitch Instead of a God damn lady ^^ |
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04 Feb 00 - 04:13 PM (#173653) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Clinton Hammond2 Be careful you don't offend the language police Allan... ;-) Is there any more to that poem/song?? I know a few women who mihgt like it an awful lot!! LOL!!!! |
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04 Feb 00 - 04:32 PM (#173658) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Peg boy, clinton, you keep saying you are gonna drop it and you just take it into another thread don't you??? i have no problem with profanity; i have no problem with literature; i have no problem with free speech. i am very much anti-censorship. you seem to think someone thinking you are a bigot interferes with your "right to espress yourself." too bad you don't get it; then again you seem to be too much of an idiot to get a whole lot...as evidenced by your lame excuses everywhere, and your need to have the last word everywhere (as I am sure you will attempt to do here as well) like i said, i have no problem with language, per se; i work with it for a living. i have a problem with bigots. that would be you. |
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04 Feb 00 - 04:35 PM (#173660) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST,Allan S. No this is all I have. It was given to me, The poem that is, by a young lady years ago Who did not know if there was any more. Just curious |
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04 Feb 00 - 04:45 PM (#173663) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: annamill My first Mother-in Law, Choetze, use to sing this to my baby daughter while she bounced her on her knee. I now sing it to my beautiful Granddaughter. I guess it's being passed down through the family. (Well, it has been a very wealthy, artistic, theatre type family) Her words went like this: I wish I was a fascinating bitch, I never would be poor, I always would be rich. I'd sleep all day and work all night, and live in a house with a big red light. Now there's fodder for ya, GG. I'm sorry that I don't don't have further info for you, Allan. Love, annap |
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04 Feb 00 - 05:18 PM (#173673) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Clinton Hammond2 Can ya share the tune with us annap? 'Cause now I'mdying to hear it!! LOL!! |
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04 Feb 00 - 06:38 PM (#173705) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: JenEllen What? We fascinating ones have a theme song? Oh annap, please give a tune... |
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04 Feb 00 - 07:17 PM (#173722) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch ^^ From: Sandy Paton I heard it this way: I wish I was a fascinating bitch,^^ |
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04 Feb 00 - 07:25 PM (#173726) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Mbo Elle, I wouldn't call you--well--THAT. --Mbo |
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04 Feb 00 - 08:10 PM (#173754) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: annamill Well, I could sing it for you...;-) Maybe Sandy could give you the chords, please? L., A. |
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04 Feb 00 - 10:11 PM (#173778) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Little Neophyte Allan, I'm not sure if there is any more verses but I heard the last line like this.................. I wish I were a fascinating bitch instead of a god damn virgin. Now if you want to post the lyrics to Barnacle Bill The Sailer, you will get lots of extra verses. BB |
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04 Feb 00 - 11:53 PM (#173825) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST,bb in tx i heard or read a poem it's so nice to wake up and not have to tell someone you love them when you dont love them anymore dont need a f.b. |
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05 Feb 00 - 03:45 AM (#173863) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: JenEllen Mob, that's because you are still a sweet young thing...Those of us who have been blessed consider it another laurel.. |
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06 Feb 00 - 07:45 PM (#174278) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Tiger My mother has been after me for years to find all the lyrics to this song, so I'm waiting patiently. I hope the catters can come through. |
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06 Feb 00 - 11:12 PM (#174354) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Amos Well I have looked all over the usual search engines and not found it. Sorry. Those well known lines musta come from somewhere! A |
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25 Aug 00 - 09:22 PM (#285406) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Joe Offer So, do we have the rest of the lyrics yet? -Joe Offer- |
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25 Aug 00 - 10:20 PM (#285427) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Joe Offer Somebody said in another thread this song was in New Song Fest, but I can't find it in either the new (1955) or old (1948) editions. Maybe I'm not looking in the right place? -Joe Offer- |
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25 Aug 00 - 11:03 PM (#285448) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Troll Joe; It was in the 1963 edition. Thanks to whoever refreshed this thread. As I recall, thats all the verses there were. I'd sure like a copy of ANY edition of The New Song Fest if anyone has any ideas . troll Joe: I think they brought out an edition in the 70's as well. t |
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26 Aug 00 - 11:11 AM (#285604) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST,Allan S. I have the 62 ed. and I dont see it in there Good song tho. |
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26 Aug 00 - 01:24 PM (#285642) Subject: ADD: Fascinating Lady ^^ From: Joe Offer Troll, as promised, here's what I found. -Joe Offer- FASCINATING LADY [A] Wish I was a fascinating lady With a past that's fast and a future that is shady. Sleep all day, work all night, Live in a house with a little red light. Once a month, I'd take a short vacation And drive my customers wild. Wish I was a fascinating lady Instead of an innocent child. [B] Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch. I'd never be poor, I'd always be rich. I'd live in a house with a little red light, And sleep all day and work all night. And every once in a while I'd take a little rest, Just to drive my customers wild. Oh, I wish I were a fascinating bitch, Instead of a legitimate child. This bit of fantasizing is common on college campuses, a parallel to the ubiquitous legends of the beautiful young woman who put herself through school as a high-priced call girl. This is seemingly a parody of a popular song, though the original has not turned up. "Fascinating Bitch" enjoyed a burst of popularity in the 1960s; the Indiana University Folklore Archives contain no less than forty variants of this, and it was reported at UCLA and at Berkeley about the same time. Barre Toelken included a variant of "B," apparently of the same age, in "The Folklore of Academe," in Brunvand, The Study of American Folklore (p. 379). "Fascinating Bitch," however, is said to be older; Cleveland (p. 95) states that it was sung by New Zealand troops in World War II, but gives no text. The "A" version, plucked from the Indiana University Folklore Archive, dates from 1954 at Michigan State University; the "B" text is from the Taussig collection made in Berkeley between 1958 and 1963. Source: The Erotic Muse: American Bawdy Songs, Second Edition, Ed Cray, 1992 JRO ^^ |
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26 Aug 00 - 01:53 PM (#285649) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Troll Thanx Joe. I really appreciate it. The legend of the college call girl is a true one. In 1961 at the Univ. of Fla., I lived next door to two young women who always seemed to have a lot of company. I was sitting on my front porch the evening they were raided by the local vice squad. It caused quite a scandal, especially since there had just been a witch-hunt for gays the year before. troll |
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26 Aug 00 - 02:30 PM (#285671) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Little Hawk Fascinating bitch? Almost sounds like an oxymoron to me, but well...maybe... Colleges thrive on witch hunts, as I recall. |
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26 Aug 00 - 02:38 PM (#285676) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Little Hawk While you're at it, wish for a date with Winona Ryder, too. I've been doing that for years, and NOTHING has happened yet. |
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26 Aug 00 - 06:04 PM (#285776) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Noreen Good one Joe- I can see this going down a storm!! Now all we need is a tune... Noreen |
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26 Aug 00 - 06:09 PM (#285778) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: catspaw49 Winona Ryder? Geeziz Hawk, you really are focked up! Spaw |
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26 Aug 00 - 09:56 PM (#285886) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Little Hawk Naw, Spaw. It's you. Winona has almost no flaws whatsoever...except she smokes. I could put up with that at least for a while, in Winona's case. Or Dylan's. Spaw, you gotta clear your head...I suggest a nice walk in the moonlight, followed by a ducking in the rain barrel. We used to do that with kids at Rolling Thunder's camp on certain quite rare occasions (when they went completely berserk...I remember just 2 such incidents) and it worked great! |
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15 Apr 02 - 04:08 PM (#690733) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST,106146.2313@compuserve.com I learned that this song was the favourite of that well known contralto Kathleen Ferrier from Lancashire, England. I learnt it whilst in the British Army in 1948. |
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15 Apr 02 - 07:14 PM (#690830) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Zany Mouse I remember the same version as Sandy has mentioned from the days of working in a Soho night club in my mis-spent youth. A guy called Harry Silver at the Beak Club in Beak Street used to sing it EVERY night! Rhiannon |
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16 Apr 02 - 03:10 AM (#691034) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST And yet another version, taken from this site:
I wish I were a fascinating lady Although I certainly don't remember singing any songs like that at our Girl Scout campouts! Lin in Kansas |
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16 Apr 02 - 03:57 AM (#691057) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: masato sakurai Still another version:
Fascinating Lady
Oh I wish I were a fascinating lady
(From HERE) ~Masato |
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01 Apr 09 - 04:59 PM (#2602563) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST,Hannah This is the way I learned the song eons ago! "I wish I was a fascinating lady With a past thats fast and a future that is shady I wish I had a big red light, I'd sleep all day and I work all night. Once a month I'd take a short vacation, nearly drive the the boys to desperation, Once a year I'd go hogwild, and have myself an illegitimate child." |
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01 Apr 09 - 05:17 PM (#2602578) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Rasener Kathleen Ferrier Now there you go. She recorded a song that makes the back of my hairs stand on end and brings tears to my eyes. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ypePP1ENcmw So relevant as my mother is in the last stages of her life at 93. |
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01 Apr 09 - 05:36 PM (#2602587) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Uncle_DaveO Back in the early 60s, I believe it was, that the newspapers in Terre Haute, Indiana were full of the raid, arrest, and prosecution of a number of gals who were putting themselves through Indiana State University (not to be confused with the University of Indiana) by running a popular "house". They had, as I recall, a well-organized house, with rotation of "staff" through the week. Terre Haute had a bunch of cathouses in those days, as EVERYBODY knew. In fact the saying was that over a period of years a candidate for the mayoralty of Terre Haute made the announcement of his campaign by telling the press that "There is NO prostitution in Terre Haute!" That's how you knew he was running. Dave Oesterreich |
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01 Apr 09 - 06:17 PM (#2602618) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: Paul Burke I thought this was a reference to Rolf Harris and the Court of King Erectecus: The bitches who put itches in the britches Of the boys who put the powder up the noses Of the floozies of the whorum Of the court of King Erectecus Were just passing by... |
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02 Apr 09 - 09:32 AM (#2603056) Subject: RE: Wish I was a fascinating bitch From: GUEST,Allan S Back again, The lady who I learned it from has since passed from this world. However there was a grad student at U-Conn 1952-5 who did practice the worlds oldest profession durring the summer months. As I recall she was a Phych. major. Always claimed it was cheeper to be one than to see one. Ah for those long lost days |
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14 Sep 10 - 10:43 PM (#2986954) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST I found the lyrics to "Fascinatin' Bitch" scribbled on the back of a parts list for a WW2 machine gun. Never heard of the song before and so trying to find out more about it led me here. I also found this link to an audio clip of the song http://horntip.com/html/songs_sorted_by_name/fascinating_bitch.htm |
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15 Sep 10 - 01:01 AM (#2986999) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: Ebbie On YouTube is an elderly woman singing it. Shows the tune clearly. |
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19 Nov 10 - 06:21 PM (#3036314) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST,Suzy in KY My daughter learned the song while she was a counselor at Girl Scout Camp. The campers themselves didn't hear it, It was only for the older girls who were out of HS and working at the camp. |
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13 Mar 11 - 10:34 AM (#3112898) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST,TJ My mom sang this song and many others like it. Her words are similar but the tune was different from the one posted on YouTube. |
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16 Dec 12 - 05:27 AM (#3452662) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST I learned this song in 1944 when in high school in Orlando Fl. This version was similar to the last couple on this site but the last line went- Instead of a minister's child. I would love to know the origin. |
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19 Nov 13 - 01:31 AM (#3576905) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST The REAL song that 6th graders sang as they jumped rope goes I wish I was a fascinating lady with a past that's fast And future that is shady and I'd sleep all day and work all night and live in a house with a little red light. Once a month I'd take a short vacation and drive my customers wild. I wish I was a fascinating lady with an illegitimate child! Needless to say it wasn't sung around any grownups. |
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12 Dec 19 - 05:24 AM (#4023277) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST,guest I always heard: Outside my door I'd hang a red light rather than I'd live in a house with a little red light |
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18 Feb 21 - 11:23 PM (#4093757) Subject: RE: Lyr Add: I Wish I Was a Fascinating Bitch From: GUEST,Lulu This is the song my church girls youth group sang I wish a were a fascinating lady Who slept all day and worked all night And if I were a fascinating lady I’d live in a house with a little red light And once a month I’d take a vacation And rid myself of sex frustration And once a year I’d go hog wild And have myself an illegitimate child I wish I were a fascinating lady Instead of a goddamned VIRGIN! |