BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?

21 Mar 00 - 05:04 PM (#198849)
Subject: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: MK

I like Mudcatters...but up to a point. Amos, Barky (and others), take note of the following and consider.

APPLICATION TO DATE MY DAUGHTER

Note: This application will be incomplete and rejected unless accompanied by a complete financial statement, job history, lineage, and current medical report from your physician.

1.  What is your name, age, social security number, IQ and boy scout rank?

2.  Do you have one male and one female parent?  ____
If "No", explain:

3.  Do you own or have access to a van?  ____
4.  A truck with oversize tires?  ____
5.  waterbed?  ____
6.  Do you have an earring, nose ring, or belly button ring?  ____
7.  Do you have a tattoo?  ____

*If you have answered YES to #3, #4 or #5, discontinue application and leave immediately.*

8.  In fifty words or less, what does LATE mean to you?

9.  In fifty words or less, what does DON'T TOUCH MY DAUGHTER mean to you?

10.  In fifty words or less, what does ABSTINENCE mean to you?

11.  In fifty words or less, what does REAL PAIN mean to you?

12.  Church/Temple you attend:  ____________________________

13.  How often do you attend:  ____________________________

14.  When would be the best time to interview your mother, father and priest/rabbi?  ____________________________

15.  Please fill in the blanks:

If I were shot, the last place on my body I would want wounded would be my   ____________________________

If I were beaten, the last bone I would want broken would be my  ____________________________

A woman's place is in the  ____________________________
The one thing I hope this application doesn't ask is  ____________________________
When I meet a girl, the one thing I always notice about her first is  ____________________________

*Note: If answer to last question begins with "T" or "A", discontinue and leave premises - keeping your head low and running in a serpentine fashion is advised*

What do you want to be IF you grow up?

I swear that all the above information is correct to the best of my knowledge under penalty of death, bodily harm, dismemberment, torture or mental abuse.

Signature of applicant  _________________________________
Signature of father  _____________________________________
Signature of mother  ____________________________________
Signature of priest/rabbi  ___________________________________
Signature of State Representative  _________________________

Thank you for your interest, and it had better be genuine and non-sexual. Please allow 4-6 years for processing. You will be contacted in writing if approved. If denied, please never apply again. Don't call me, I'll call you.

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21 Mar 00 - 05:09 PM (#198852)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Can I fill one out?

--Mbo

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21 Mar 00 - 05:16 PM (#198856)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: JedMarum

I don't get it? What did I miss?

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21 Mar 00 - 05:19 PM (#198859)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Caitrin

I think I missed something, too, Jed.

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21 Mar 00 - 05:46 PM (#198875)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

Huh, wonder what tripped his trigger?

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21 Mar 00 - 05:47 PM (#198876)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Uncle_DaveO

What's to miss? It's hilarious! Thought of everything!

I presume those who didn't understand don't have or haven't had teen or pre-teen daughters.

Dave Oesterreich

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21 Mar 00 - 05:47 PM (#198877)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: paddymac

It's "jest a joke" guys, or "just a jest", etc. Seems like it ought to be a good candidate for a song challenge: "I want to date your daughter"

sing to: "In The Garden Where The Praties Grow"

Dear Sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my hope.
I want to date your daughter but I'm not the bloomin Pope.
I'll treat her kind and gently, Sir, just like you did her Mom
But if you interfere, Dear Sir, you'll find I lack aplomb.

Next?

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21 Mar 00 - 05:55 PM (#198880)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Little Neophyte

Michael K. when I was a teenager, I think my father would have not only liked each of my suitors to fill out one of those applications but he would have stood over them with a baseball bat while they were completing the form.

Little Neo

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21 Mar 00 - 05:59 PM (#198882)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Bill in Alabama

That's approximately what I did do, Neo.

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21 Mar 00 - 06:05 PM (#198885)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

('scuse me, it is cute, and it does sum up a parent's feelings for a daughter, but why is it addressed to Amos, Barky, and "others"--me and Caitlin, I presume--)

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21 Mar 00 - 06:13 PM (#198890)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

I guess! I'm sure I'd pass fine--even with the threat of a baseball bat! But WAIT! Where are the questions about musical taste? You know, the IMPORTANT stuff!

--Mbo

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21 Mar 00 - 06:15 PM (#198892)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

OMIGOD--HE'S RIGHT!! (lol)

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21 Mar 00 - 06:20 PM (#198894)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Just ask my folks what "late" means to me. "Late" in my vocabulary means 20 minutes early!

--Mbo

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21 Mar 00 - 06:51 PM (#198914)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Homeless

I've got a 15 year old step-daughter at home and came up with something similar, but more extensive. I DID make prospective beaus fill it out.

Last Name: First Name:

Address: Birth Date:

Age:

City: State: Zip:

Social Security number Mother's maiden name

Whom do you live with? Mother Father Other

How many of each do you have? Sisters Brothers Children

Next of Kin Organ donor? Blood type

Drivers license number

Do you own a car? Make Model

Color Engine Size License plate number

 

What grade are you in in school? What is your favorite subject in school?

In what subject are your best grades? Do you have any post-school plans?

If so, what are they?

Have you given any thought to joining the military?

Are you employed? Where do you work?

What kind of work do you do?

Explain the difference between a job and a career

 

Do you smoke? Drink? Do drugs?

What is the 'hardest' drug you have ever taken (smoked, swallowed, injected, etc.)?

Have you ever been arrested? If so, for what?

 

What is your favorite:

Style of music Musical Group

Actor Actress

Category of Movies Sport

Place to hang out Sports Team

List all of your hobbies

 

Are you Republican Democrat Other (specify)

What religion are you? How many times did you go to church last year?

 

Which of the following do you think are acceptable?

Premarital sex Homosexuality (for men) Homosexuality (for women)

Bisexuality Nudity Piercing Tattoos

Other body modifications

What is the primary objective in dating?

At what age do you think people should have children?

Do you think minors should have a curfew? If so, what is a reasonable curfew?

Can you do any of the following?

cook sew auto mechanics carpentry

Do you have any computer skills?

Do you have

Internet access Newsgroup access e-mail account

List your e-mail address and URLs of 3 sites you visit most often

Imagine the car of your dreams. Describe it.

To date, what is the greatest achievement that you have ever personally accomplished?

What would you like to be doing in 5 years?

Who is the current president of the USA?

Correct the following sentence: "I'm going to try and get Trilby home on time".

I also found these somewhere and passed them out - tho that was more in jest...

Dating Rules

Rule One	If you pull into my driveway and honk, you'd better be delivering a package, because you're sure not picking anything up.
Rule Two	You do not touch my daughter in front of me. You may glance at her, so long as you do not peer at anything below her neck. If you cannot keep your eyes or hands off of my daughter's body, I will remove them.
Rule Three	I am aware that it is considered fashionable for boys of your generation to wear their trousers so loosely that they appear to be falling off their hips. Please don't be offended, but you and all of your friends look stupid. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose a compromise: you may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big and I will not object. However, in order to ensure that your clothes do not, in fact, come off during the course of your date with my daughter, I will take my staple gun and fasten your trousers securely in place to your waist.
Rule Four	I'm sure you've been told that in today's world, sex without utilizing a "barrier method" of some kind can kill you. Let me elaborate: when it comes to sex, I am the barrier, and I will kill you.
Rule Five	In order for us to get to know each other, I suspect you think we should talk about sports, politics, and other issues of the day. Please do not do this. The only information I require from you is an indication of when you expect to have my daughter safely back at my house, and the only word I need from you on this subject is "early."
Rule Six	I have no doubt you are a popular fellow, with many opportunities to date other girls. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my daughter. Otherwise, once you have gone out with my little girl, you will continue to date no one but her until she is finished with you. If you make her cry, I will make you cry.
Rule Seven	As you stand in my front hallway, waiting for my daughter to appear, and more than an hour goes by, do not sigh and fidget. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating. My daughter is putting on her makeup, a process that can take longer than painting the Golden Gate Bridge. Instead of just standing there, why don't you do something useful like change the oil in my car?
Rule Eight	The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter: Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight. Places where there is darkness. Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness. Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff t-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, or a goose down parka zipped up to her throat. Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided. Movies which feature chainsaws are marginally acceptable. Hockey games are okay. Old folks homes are better.
Rule Nine	Do not lie to me. I may appear to be a pot-bellied, balding, middle-aged, dim-witted has-been. But on issues relating to my daughter, I am the all-knowing, merciless god of your universe. If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth, and nothing but the truth. I have a shotgun, a shovel, and five acres of secluded land. Do not trifle with me.
Rule Ten	Be afraid. Be very afraid. It takes very little for me to mistake the sound of your car in the driveway for a chopper coming in over a rice paddy outside of Hanoi. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. As soon as you pull into the driveway you should exit your car with both hands in plain sight. Speak the perimeter password – announce in a clear voice that you have brought my daughter home safely AND early -- then return to your car. There is no need for you to come inside. The camouflaged face at the window is mine.

 

 

Signature Date

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21 Mar 00 - 06:52 PM (#198917)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Homeless

Oh well, I guess it lost some of the HTML formatting. There are a lot of lines to fill things in, and places to check off the appropriate choice on multiple choice questions.

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21 Mar 00 - 06:59 PM (#198921)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Ha ha! I'd still pass...Ok, maybe not on the part about going on a date to a happy place...

--Mbo

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21 Mar 00 - 07:03 PM (#198925)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

Priceless, Homelss! I am going to print it out and give it to my daughter!

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21 Mar 00 - 07:15 PM (#198940)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: MK

Neo...thanks for the comments.

I just had ''the talk'' recently with my 10 year old daughter. This was something the wife and I had been putting off for a while, and my wife wanted me to handle it.

So basically, I sat my daughter down, and told her:

"Darling, Sex.......hurts....and it doesn't stop hurting until you are 25 years old."


And while I'm on the subject, today I found out a really good male friend of mine just got engaged. He was going on and on about how great his sex life will become once he's married. I dead-panned to him: ''Yep. Once you're married you can have sex as often as she wants.''




...just my ultra-dry sense of humor poking it's withered face out at y'all...I'll put it away now.  8-)

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21 Mar 00 - 07:21 PM (#198943)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Rick Fielding

Well all right Michael K! Sure you've asked questions...but you haven't asked the TOUGH questions: Do you bare fingers, or picks? Did Riley Puckett REALLY just use his index finger. Every prospective suitor needs to answer these.

Rick

By the way, I appreciate you throwing out some humourous threads.

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21 Mar 00 - 07:25 PM (#198945)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: MK

Mbo.....I have decided that if you can't beat 'em...join 'em....but as most here know, I do generally focus on music-related threads, but, I am in the process of shedding a whole whirl-wind of negative energy around me, and I figured a little attempt at humor albeit a bit depreciating and dark, might help further the process.

The initial thread was tongue in cheek and was somewhat inspired by the very public communicating between you and Barky...I was merely attempting to put a humorous twist to it - thought Amos might crack a smile over it --, and because you have proven (as has Amos) that you have great senses of humor, I figured you could handle it.



(I'll now confine myself to figuring out how to play 7th sharp 9 flat five chords in every key on the guitar --without the use of a capo, using a combination of alternating bass patterns, as well as reverse and forward banjo roll patterns, and four and five fingered style.)     8-)

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21 Mar 00 - 07:25 PM (#198947)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

OK, Michael! Just wanted to make sure there was a Big Grin behind all the seriousness..........like maybe you thought Amos or I would really buy our daughters a plane ticket to "WhereEver" to meet a cyber friend.........not!! He comes here, (and fills out the AP before he meets her!) My mom always said, "When they are little, they break your pocket-book, when they are big, they break your heart". Hopefully, we can all grow up and (re?)gain our parents respect. I did, but we had some rough times when I was 18-21. They are both gone now, but I miss them, and respect their wisdom more each day that I deal with my children!

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21 Mar 00 - 07:31 PM (#198951)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: MK

Sorcha, I am slowly learning and adapting to appreciate the lighter side of this Forum.



Resistance is futile (if I plan to stay which I do) and I am being assimilated even as we speak.    8-)

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21 Mar 00 - 07:32 PM (#198953)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

Don't Hesitate---Assimilate!

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21 Mar 00 - 07:43 PM (#198957)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Sho 'nuff Sorcha! You may not like it, but they're always right! And one definately SHOULD gain the respect and acceptance of a loved one's parents. Being a rebel and a renegade is NOT a good thing. Try to make yourself into a respectable and honorable person. You will never regret it. Arousing other's anger, suspicion, fear, and disrespect is no way to go. Aim to make ALL parties feel comfortable.

--Mbo (who has no tattoos, but lots of printing ink crammed in the pores of his hands!)

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21 Mar 00 - 08:00 PM (#198966)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Amos

I know all about renegadehood. I grew up wearing an army jacket and long hair in my later teens. I can guarantee you I would have a serious problem if my earlier self showed up to take my daughter on a date. But she has already demonstrated good judgement in poeple and brings home mannerly youths who smile and call me Mister. WHich helps a lot. As I once said humoprouly to Mbo, if that seems hypocritical, well, it is, and that's as it should be... :?)

I love those applications. My various girlfriends' fathers always did them orally which took much longer.

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21 Mar 00 - 08:04 PM (#198968)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)

Aye, any trouble and its a formal wedding for you lot, I'll paint the shotgun white mates...LOL

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21 Mar 00 - 08:08 PM (#198973)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: catspaw49

Strangely enough, in high school I could have easily passed. It was a bit later before cigarettes, whisky, and wild women led me astray.

Like Amos though, as a parent, I rejoice in my hypocrisy!

Spaw

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21 Mar 00 - 08:16 PM (#198981)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: McGrath of Harlow

I was hearing about this woman who goes round schools in England trying to induce a bit of caution in the young girls. She has a tape recording of a baby crying. She just switches it on and lets it play for the next 45 minutes or so.

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21 Mar 00 - 09:33 PM (#199030)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Little Neophyte

Michael, in all seriousness I am very happy my dad was so strict about the boys that came around.
In my dad's eyes no one was good enough for me except the son of the Sony Corportion.
I had to deal with never being accepted for who I was.
But all in all, my dad instilled a set or values in me. Mind you they were branded in me, but I feel grateful for his overly concerned obsessive behaviour.
Like Catspaw, it was hipocrisy at its best.
It could have been worse, if chastity belts were still in fashion, I bet my dad would have used it.

Nice to see you start such a light thread. That is where you will find me hanging out.

Little Neo

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21 Mar 00 - 09:43 PM (#199033)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: katlaughing

Great minds think alike? I emailed the exact first posting to you today, Amos. My cousin in Egypt sent it to me, today.

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21 Mar 00 - 09:45 PM (#199035)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Now wouldn't it be fun to ACTUALLY fill these out! It would make for some interesting reading...except I ain't giving away my SSN and financial information!

--Mbo

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21 Mar 00 - 11:50 PM (#199101)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: GUEST,Wavestar

*rofl*

My father sent the "Dating Rules" to my boyfriend of five years... Too late and he knows it, but he's alwaus been supportive, approving, and good at minding enough ofhis own business to allow me to learn my lessons and make my mistakes without getting too hurt.. he and my mother both. If only my friends had all had parents like mine, I often think...

Besides, they like my boyfriend. Frighteningly much.

-J

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22 Mar 00 - 11:33 AM (#199143)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: bbc

Michael, I love it! I'm going to give it to David & see if he passes.

bbc

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22 Mar 00 - 11:35 AM (#199145)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Signature of State Representative! Classic!

--Mbo

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22 Mar 00 - 11:46 AM (#199155)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Bert

Mbo, You said "Being a rebel and a renegade is NOT a good thing." SHAME on you!!! You'll never make a Mudcatter;-)

I sentence you to McGrath's "tape recording of a baby crying. ...just switch... it on and let... it play for the next 45 minutes or so."

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22 Mar 00 - 11:59 AM (#199172)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

It isn't a good thing, bert. I just want to be MYSELF...I'm not gonna hop a Harley and don a leather jacket just to look cool. I can't change who I am...and causing distrust in other is the stupidest idea ever. Be Loved, And Do Good Works, as Garrison Keilor says. And I'll have you know that I'm very good with children! 45 minutes of crying! Hah! I can take anything!

--Mbo

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22 Mar 00 - 12:04 PM (#199176)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Bert

Being a rebel has nothing to do with leather jackets and Harleys. Max is a rebel and a renegade, he didn't get a regular job, he started his own company AND MUDCAT. Now, that's a real rebel.

Cheers!

Bert.

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22 Mar 00 - 04:28 PM (#199332)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: kendall

Wonderful!! this was even better than subjecting the boys to a game of trivial pursuit. They didnt stand a chance, but, one of them had the guts to try, so, he became my son-in-law.As a result, all of my grand children are above average.

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22 Mar 00 - 04:29 PM (#199333)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Amos

Mbo,

I have frequently suggested you grow your hair long and take up riding a Harley. I never thought you should do so just to rebel, but because I love you and want you to have the untrammeled joy of having an open road at your feet and a loving lady at your back (I mean on the Harley, dummy!). Sometimes being in love with the joy of life is too much for the middle of the road sort of person to stand, and it may make you look like a rebel, but in your case, it would just make you seem vivid and poetic.

Now, I understand if you can't see your way into transforming yourself into a Harley rider overnight, and, if that is the case, I recommend a 1947 Indian, or a Ducati Diana.

A

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22 Mar 00 - 05:03 PM (#199352)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Well, I admit, one of those old 30's bikes with the sidecar would be kinda cool...

--Mbo

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22 Mar 00 - 05:14 PM (#199360)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: MMario

kendall - I suspect any grandchild of yours would be superior regardless of the son-in-law, but nice that your genes didn't have to do it all on their own....*grin*

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22 Mar 00 - 05:44 PM (#199377)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: katlaughing

The only transportation my mom and dad had when they got married in the 30's was a Harly with a sidecar. My brother rode around it for the first couple of years of his life.

My son-in-law is big, about 6'2" and broad. When he came to take my duaghter out, I, all 5'2" of me, looked him in the eye, grabbed his collar, and, like I did to any of her previous dates, said, "Take care of her, don't try anything, and bring her back on time, or....I will kill you." He was the only one who kept coming back. Now I love him like a son and wouldn't have it any other way.

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22 Mar 00 - 09:23 PM (#199564)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: GUEST

I don't know the way my daughter's behaving I think I might need to give out a safety manual for her dates.

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22 Mar 00 - 09:28 PM (#199567)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Caitrin

My father hasn't been nearly as bad about boyfriends as my younger brother. There was only one that Dad didn't like (justifiably so, because he was a jerk. My father is a much better judge of character than I am.) Little Brother Charles, on the other hand, begins by hating every boyfriend I have, just on principle. After the initial dates, he may warm to the guy...or he may continue to hang up on said guy every time he calls, just for fun. Dad and Charles both operate on the principle that anyone who hurts me is fair game for physical and psychological torture, though. It's good to know I'm loved, even if they are a little paranoid.

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22 Mar 00 - 09:31 PM (#199570)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: catspaw49

Hey Meebo.....If you want the road under your feet, ride a riceburner, but if you want the road ON your feet (or more accurately, your feet on the road), by all means, get a Harley.

Spaw

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22 Mar 00 - 09:43 PM (#199582)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Gulp...no angry family members had to do it to me, it was all self-imposed. PLEEZE Spaw, their called Rice-rockets! Road under me feet...I once drove in a van that had no floor...

--Mbo

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22 Mar 00 - 09:51 PM (#199589)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Eluned

The only guy I dated that my mother liked turned out to be a jerk. He was clean-cut and president of some high-school student board or other, but he didn't understand the word "no". I literally had to fight him off of me to the point of almost kicking him in the 'nads. Never told Mom, either.

Folks, is there a way I can file those "applications" so I can share them with my (other?) friends? Can't seem to find the FAQ.

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22 Mar 00 - 09:57 PM (#199599)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Willie-O

Eluned, you can either just drag the cursor (with left mouse button held down) over the text you want, and copy & paste it from the edit menu, or save the whole thread via File/Save As--you can use the default name which is Thread.cfm, or rename it as an html file (I think) or whatever.

Jeez why did I post twice you're wondering? I don't know, just excessively impressed wit' myself I guess. Confused actually.

W-O

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22 Mar 00 - 11:24 PM (#199651)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mark Cohen

Well, I have a stepson who's married, another stepson who's twelve, and a daughter who's five, so I guess that puts me temporarily on hold with this stuff. On the other hand, oh, Lord, now that I'm getting divorced does this mean I'm gonna hafta fill out one of these things someday? Maybe I should write up my own and have it ready...

Aloha,
Mark

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22 Mar 00 - 11:36 PM (#199667)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: katlaughing

Willie-O, I love your version!

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22 Mar 00 - 11:38 PM (#199670)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

O, Nostalgia!! I used to have to ride to school "bitch" on the back of my dad's 48 Indian Chief, and I was mortified! 'Sides, it's not easy to ride a scooter sidesaddle in a mini skirt carrying a violin case! (ridin bitch is slang for the buddy seat). Willie O, I loved yours, and aint it true? I thought maybe I was the only one who turned into a "R" word when my daughter hit 14. I printed out the applications, and have been giving them to all her male friends (who are not nessicarily her Boyfriend) and she is embarrassed as Hell! (giggle) And her BIG brother gives her more crap about boys and make up than her dad and I do! LOVE IT!

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22 Mar 00 - 11:48 PM (#199678)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

I'm so glad I don't date. My dad brought home one of those applications from his work awhile back and swore he would give it to anyone I wanted to date. Even I can't pass those things--I wonder if that means I can't date myself. . .

Anyway, the important question is what kind of music a guy likes.

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22 Mar 00 - 11:50 PM (#199680)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

Uhhh, no it means your Dad is gonna have a fit when he finds out!

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22 Mar 00 - 11:56 PM (#199685)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

Oh, I'm not THAT bad--I SWEAR. I would definitely fail the question of tatoos, peircings, etc. I'm not tatooed or peirced yet, but I turn 18 in October. But I don't do drugs ir drink or smoke--it would cut into my music/art/book budget too much. I'm addicted to more constructive things.

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23 Mar 00 - 12:03 AM (#199690)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: katlaughing

Well, despite what Willie-O says, I didn't turn into the dreaded "R" word when my kids passed into teendom; not sure nay of us would've survived. I just was really clear about things; any experimenting they did, they did at home, where I knew they were safe. Besides that, there wasn't much they could do that would shock ole mom and dad, as we'd already done most of it and they knew it.**BG**

Kelida, beautiful name. Welcome to the Mudcat.

kat

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23 Mar 00 - 12:04 AM (#199691)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Sounds familiar, Kelida. Starving artist and all that. Though I don't have my own dreary garrett yet...

--Mbo

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23 Mar 00 - 01:10 AM (#199732)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: MK

I am the oldest of 4 children (2 additional brothers and 1 sister), born Jewish and Bar Mitzvahed.

All 3 siblings succombed to the ''guilt'' and married Jewish spouses.

All 3 divorced within 2 years of marriage, and remarried Jewish spouses. They are all miserable.

I married a Presbyterian. She didn't convert. Neither did I.  19 years later, we're still here. I have her trained to keep the tension on my strings, while restringing one of my guitars, and, how to make cole slaw the way I like it. She has me trained to put the toilet seat back down, and, to know the difference between an enigma and an enima. (The latter took a considerable amount of training.)    8-)

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23 Mar 00 - 01:57 AM (#199747)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Sorcha

OY VEY to you!

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23 Mar 00 - 08:20 PM (#200300)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: kendall

Thanks Mario, we all need help sometimes. I dont know what I would have done if some grease ball came into my yard to pick up my daughter on a cycle. Cant get over that picture of the dirt bag on a Harley in a black leather jacket with a sign on his back which said "IF YOU CAN READ THIS, THE BITCH FELL OFF"

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23 Mar 00 - 10:09 PM (#200383)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Caitrin

It would be fairly hard to really horrify my parents. The only thing they've said they really couldn't stand would be if I brought home a stupid person. People who don't like food or music would be frowned upon severely, but not ousted from the house. Luckily for my parents, I tend to like more or less the same types of people they do. And as for tattoos and piercings...I think tattoos are pretty cool, but I have no pain tolerance whatsoever! : )

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23 Mar 00 - 11:02 PM (#200421)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

Thanks for the compliment, kat, but unfortunately Kelida is not my given name. I'm known by that throughout the 'net, though, so I've grown a bit attached to it--at least as much as I am to my real name.

I think that the only thing I've done to horrify my parents is decide to make art my life's work. "It's not a real job. . ." Oh well, as "lazy" as I am, I think a "real job" would be a mistake. . . If nothing else, maybe the band will work out. . .

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23 Mar 00 - 11:12 PM (#200424)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Little Neophyte

I was the youngest of 3 children (1 additional brother and 1 sister), born Jewish and spoiled.

All 3 siblings succombed to the ''guilt'' and married Jewish spouses.

If we had not, we would have surely succombed execution at an early age.

Little Neo

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23 Mar 00 - 11:30 PM (#200434)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Hey Kelida, don't have second thoughts about being an artist, it's great! Yeah, so my major is Graphic Design...a fairly REAL job, but artists get to have more fun that other students! Think...we can look like slobs al the time, and people go "Art students" and they just nod and understand...you can walk around campus covered in sawdust, printing ink, charcoal, smelling like lacquer thinner, getting to wear filthy art stained clothes...what a life!

--Mbo

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23 Mar 00 - 11:48 PM (#200450)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

It's nice to find someone who knows the feeling. Most of my friends are musician-types or preppy-types (not specific labels, but it is a general description of what people might percieve) and they seem embarrassed to be seen with me sometimes--especially when I'm wearing my favorite jeans: 30" bellbottoms that are covered in white paint from a recent gig painting sets for the student production of "Cheaper By the Dozen" at my school. I love not having to worry about what people think--I just hate the constant request for me to "draw people something" like I have nothing better to do--especially sonce no one wants to pay. . .

I'll probably major in illustration at the Art Academy of Cincinnati, since its so close to home. But I'm going to save so I can go to Europe after I'm out--either that or I'll join the Peace Corps. . .

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23 Mar 00 - 11:48 PM (#200451)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

It's nice to find someone who knows the feeling. Most of my friends are musician-types or preppy-types (not specific labels, but it is a general description of what people might percieve) and they seem embarrassed to be seen with me sometimes--especially when I'm wearing my favorite jeans: 30" bellbottoms that are covered in white paint from a recent gig painting sets for the student production of "Cheaper By the Dozen" at my school. I love not having to worry about what people think--I just hate the constant request for me to "draw people something" like I have nothing better to do--especially since no one wants to pay. . .

I'll probably major in illustration at the Art Academy of Cincinnati, since its so close to home. But I'm going to save so I can go to Europe after I'm out--either that or I'll join the Peace Corps. . .

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23 Mar 00 - 11:51 PM (#200456)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

Oops, sorry about the double post. . .

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24 Mar 00 - 12:05 AM (#200472)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Mbo

Hey cool! We're doing desktop publishing in my Computer aided art class...and for an example we had a brochure from the Cincinnati Art Academy...looks like a nice place! And BTW those reference about the messiness...that's me. Is still have printin ink (Bone Black, #504) under my fingernails, and a stab mark from an X-acto knife I was using to cut matte boards...um, but parents like signs of a hard worker, right?

--Mbo

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24 Mar 00 - 12:25 AM (#200498)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Kelida

My hands are almost definitely permanently stained red from colored pencil dust. The last project I finished (about a week ago) is about to be in an art show at the Taft Museum here in Cincinnati, which is very exciting. I also am working on a piece for a contest at Summerfair, also here in town. Since my art teacher seems determined to grade very arbitrarily (she has all these weird ideas about homework and deadlines... If she ever gave us something worth doing instead of the same sketch 10 different times, I may even do it), my grades are not my strong point, so I guess my artwork should be.

Another weird thing is that my hands are now crooked from constant drawing and writing. I think my Summerfair project is going to be one of the illustrations from the comic book I'm working on...

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24 Mar 00 - 12:29 AM (#200502)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: Eluned

Um, Kelida, if you join the Peace Corp make sure you have all of the shots you can possibly need, and pack your own ro-cal and antibiotics of various sorts, just in case. Americans, Canadians, and many Europeans don't realize how easy we have it disease-wise.

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24 Mar 00 - 12:35 AM (#200505)
Subject: RE: BS: Friendly, But Not Familiar?
From: catspaw49

Hopefully the Queen City will treat you better than Maplethorpe.

Spaw

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