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01 Apr 00 - 06:41 AM (#205011) Subject: Hell hath no fury From: kendall Old woman to judge: " Your honor, I'm 86. I was sitting on my porch when a young man came and sat down beside me. We talked, then he started stroking my leg. It felt good. Then he stroked my old boobs. It was wonderful..then he felt me up, and I said "Take me!" he said "April fool!" and thats when I shot the son of a bitch!" |
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01 Apr 00 - 08:43 AM (#205032) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Mooh Good song material, that. Mooh. |
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01 Apr 00 - 10:20 AM (#205057) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: JedMarum good story kendall |
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01 Apr 00 - 10:24 AM (#205061) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Dave (the ancient mariner) Song Title: Men When You're Young Never Tease an Ol'Gal. ROTFLMAO Aye. Makes me eyes water..Dave |
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01 Apr 00 - 10:32 AM (#205068) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Rick Fielding Kendall, with jokes like that it's a wonder that YOU weren't shot long ago. I'll bet a few tried and missed! Hope you're well, buddy. Rick |
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01 Apr 00 - 11:02 AM (#205089) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall Thanks Rick..if I was any better, I'd be twins. oh oh, with spaw around, this could take a nasty turn.. |
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01 Apr 00 - 02:23 PM (#205187) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: GUEST,hollowfox Rick, you're just a youn slip of a thing, that's why you can't get away with it. Think about it; someone like Faith Petric, rightly or wrongly, is considered an "elder" (an age-ist statement in the wrong hands. Elder in experience and wisdom, yes, but she qualified for that decades ago. Elder in the chronological sense of elderly, that's the "wrongly" sense). She can get away with singing songs like "I'm looking for a woman with a chainsaw" and "Chopped Libber" in the most rabidly PC places (she lives in San Fransisco, after all). Some of the same people that applaud her performances would be offended by other performers doing the same songs. |
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01 Apr 00 - 03:35 PM (#205234) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: GUEST,Ickle Dorritt I was that old woman............ |
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01 Apr 00 - 03:42 PM (#205238) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall he asked for it |
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01 Apr 00 - 05:18 PM (#205283) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Liz the Squeak Wondered what happened to Mother....... LTS |
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02 Apr 00 - 01:05 AM (#205507) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Iodine i have seen better jokes, this one is so old it has holes, but he deservrd a bullet to the head lol |
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02 Apr 00 - 12:41 PM (#205637) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall It was the best I could do on short notice. I'm sure you know that ALL jokes are old. They are only new to one who has never heard them. |
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02 Apr 00 - 12:56 PM (#205647) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Little Neophyte Kendall, I have not heard that joke. The only thing I can say is, next time you are on a first date and you would like to impress the woman you are with, I suggest you think of some other joke to tell. Little Neo |
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02 Apr 00 - 05:51 PM (#205743) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall Hell.. SHE told it to ME!! LOL |
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02 Apr 00 - 06:46 PM (#205760) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Little Neophyte Now that is pretty funny Kendall(big smile on my face) Little Neo |
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02 Apr 00 - 07:01 PM (#205764) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall I'm sorry if I offended anyone with that tasteless piece of trash. It's just that I'm into justice. |
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02 Apr 00 - 07:19 PM (#205770) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: GUEST,Purity If you do not want to offend, do not post. Your folksie persona is ridculous and can only detrimental to this forum. Is it so boring to be you that you have to rent a character from catspaw who has no place here either. |
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02 Apr 00 - 07:24 PM (#205771) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall Really? and what the hell is YOUR place? |
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02 Apr 00 - 08:06 PM (#205792) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: GUEST,PUSTULE ¡¡PUSTULE ALERT !! |
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03 Apr 00 - 09:57 AM (#206008) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: catspaw49 Well Kendall, what can I say? Thanks for the message. When I got back last night after a going through a long weekend of 3-D troubles, I find I have several messages ranging from a couple of folks wanting to know what was going on my former foster child, to one accusing me of being the complete downfall of Mudcat, to yours, which I found was hilarious! The stuff is really getting absurd isn't it? Today begins a freakin' two month stretch of jury duty which I couldn't get out of and I suppose I will overjoy the pustules (what the hell is this "pustule alert" anyway?) by being around here less. As to your "persona".......Kendall, I want you to stop using "Persona FM521/9" as you have not made the installment payment due to keep the account current. Please submit your payment today or cease and desist! If you want to change personas, I suggest you contact others on this forum who seem to be setting up quite a few!! Spaw |
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03 Apr 00 - 11:41 AM (#206052) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall "I wanna be you!!!" I wonder how he knew it is so boring being me? LMAO |
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04 Apr 00 - 08:04 AM (#206434) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Liz the Squeak Kendall, it was a great joke, keep 'em coming - I'm still recovering from tonsilitis (temp of 38.8 that had both cats snuggling up like I was a radiator) and need a good laugh! That's what life is about, had enough of pustules on the back of my throat, as well as here. Give me a good giggle any day, and as those who have heard me will tell, I have a GOOD giggle! LTS Catspaw - missed you terribly, the standard of puns and excruciation humour has only been kept up here by Kendall. Good luck on the jury service, take a good book with you!! LTS again..... |
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04 Apr 00 - 10:20 AM (#206501) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Hollowfox Purity, you obviously haven't met Kendall. Kendall, if you're ever in a workshop with, say, Faith Petric or Helen Schneyer on tasteful, refined humor, can I have a tape of it, please? |
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04 Apr 00 - 11:43 AM (#206549) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: kendall LMAOROTF |
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04 Apr 00 - 03:43 PM (#206651) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Songster Bob A propos of nothing -- Hell haath no fury like the lawyer of a woman scorned. Bob C. |
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04 Apr 00 - 04:25 PM (#206662) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Hollowfox I thought it was "Hell hath no fury like a woman's corns. |
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04 Apr 00 - 04:53 PM (#206677) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Little Neophyte Bob C, that was a good one. I once saw a great bumper sticker on the back of a Mercedes-Benz Convertable....... WAS HISLittle Neo |
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04 Apr 00 - 04:55 PM (#206679) Subject: RE: BS: Hell hath no fury From: Little Neophyte OOOOOps, I meant it was a personalized license plate |