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14 Apr 00 - 09:44 AM (#211634) Subject: Did you hear about the man.............. From: GUEST,Brigid in the mountains Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'........who was always talking about his various allergies. He said he was allergic to leather...... every time that he woke up and still had his shoes on ....he had a headache!!!!!!!!! have a nice day! |
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14 Apr 00 - 09:51 AM (#211641) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler I heard a story about writer and drinker Patrick Hamilton who said it was a pity you couldn't have the hangover the day before, it would make the next day much more enjoyable! RtS |
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14 Apr 00 - 09:58 AM (#211644) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: tar_heel then there was the guy who dreamed he was awake....so when he woke up,he was asleep!!!!!!! |
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14 Apr 00 - 10:07 AM (#211647) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: GUEST,James Then there was the man who said he wished he lived in Toronto....it would make the transition to death easier. |
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14 Apr 00 - 10:48 AM (#211664) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Bat Goddess I heard the original story attributed to Scots singer Hamish Imlach. Linn, the Bat Goddess |
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14 Apr 00 - 10:50 AM (#211665) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: catspaw49 .........who couldn't "get it up" and even Viagra didn't work? He had allergy problems so most medications wouldn't do the job. Out of desperation, he went to an herbalist doctor who listened to his story and then gave him a "recipe." "Fry up a chopped onion and mix it with some pickle juice, mustard, a bit of ketchup, and smear the mix on a cloth and wrap your genitals in it for one hour each day before sex. Come back in two weeks." Well, the guy was desparate and he did as the herb doc told him. To his great surprise, it was terrific! Never before had he experienced such tremendous staying power. Two weeks later he returned to the doctor and told him the great news. The doctor asked if there were any allergic reactions or side effects.
"Just one Doc.....and its OK." the guy answered. Spaw |
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14 Apr 00 - 12:19 PM (#211709) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: katlaughing Oh, Spaw!!! That was baaaaaddd!*BG* I don't think anyone's posted this, yet, the newest combo is "Ginko Viagra", so you can remember what the f**k you were doing! |
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14 Apr 00 - 01:50 PM (#211758) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Amos ..who was half Italian and half (fill in the blank)...he made himself an offer he couldn't understand! |
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14 Apr 00 - 02:00 PM (#211768) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: tar_heel then there's the man who meets you on your way...ask you where you're going,then listens as you say.that you are going to the funeral of poor ole brother ned.and just as soon as you told him,he'll say...IS NED DEAD???? |
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14 Apr 00 - 02:16 PM (#211777) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Jon Freeman but Have you heard about the big strong man, who lived in a caravan? When I first saw the title of this thread, I thought of My Brother Sylveste. Jon |
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14 Apr 00 - 02:39 PM (#211792) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Jon Freeman I had a look at the lyrics in the DT for Sylvest and it was not the version I remembered. The closet I can get to them is at http://www.redbrick.dcu.ie/~samson/trad.html Jon |
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14 Apr 00 - 04:13 PM (#211842) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: GUEST,Captain Swing ...... who lived in Hamburg and got sick of being called a Hamburger ................ so he moved to Frankfurt. |
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14 Apr 00 - 05:29 PM (#211881) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: MK ...with 5 penises. ...His pants fit like a glove... |
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14 Apr 00 - 05:36 PM (#211885) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: MK ....the man and his wife who are awoken at 3 o'clock in the morning by a knock on the door? The man gets up and goes to the door where a stranger is asking for a push. ''Not a chance'' says the husband -- ''It's three o'clock in the morning!'' He closes the door and returns to bed. ''Who was it?'' asks his wife. ''Just a stranger asking for a push'' he answers. ''Did you help him?'' she asks. ''No I didn't -- it's three in the morning.'' ''Well you've got a short memory'' says his wife. ''Can't you remember about three months ago when we broke down on holiday and those two guys helped us? I think you should help him.'' The man does as he is told and returns to the front door and calls out into the dark ''Hello -- are you still there?'' ''Yes'', comes the answer. ''Do you still want a push?'' calls out the husband. ''Yes please!'' comes the reply from the dark. ''Where are you?'' asks the husband. ''Over here on the swing'' the man replies. |
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14 Apr 00 - 05:40 PM (#211887) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Kara Who went to a sea food restaurant "What are your oysters like?" he asked the waiter. "Very good sir, in fact they are aphrodisiacs" "Oh" says our man "I'll have half a dozen" the next day he is back " how did you find the oysters Sir?" Inquires the waiter "well to be honest only four of them worked" |
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14 Apr 00 - 05:52 PM (#211895) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Wavestar Micheal K, it's the man with 3 Penises! How many gloves have you got with seven fingers? |
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14 Apr 00 - 05:57 PM (#211897) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: MK I was excluding the other anatomical part you refer to Wavestar. *BG* |
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14 Apr 00 - 06:10 PM (#211901) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Gary T Brigid in the mountains, are you the daughter of Mike and Biz, our former next-door neighbors? (We moved, not they.) If so are you still in the Appalachians, or is it the Rockies now? Regards, Gary and Karen. |
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14 Apr 00 - 06:52 PM (#211933) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: wysiwyg ... who when they were handing out brains, he thought they said trains, so he asked for a slow one? ~S~ |
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14 Apr 00 - 07:30 PM (#211973) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Robo ... Whose life was on videotape? When his head hurt the morning after, he could always roll it back to late last night. |
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14 Apr 00 - 08:37 PM (#211991) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Art Thieme ...who traded his wife in for a... (I won't finish it. It's only the most tasteless joke I ever heard.) |
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15 Apr 00 - 05:43 PM (#212380) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: JenEllen AWWWWWW! C'mon Art! Don't leave us hangin'! Can't be anymore tastless than the "Whaddya call a guy with no arms and no legs on a/around a/hanging on a....." ~Elle
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15 Apr 00 - 10:36 PM (#212485) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Bill D ...no, Art, the MOST tasteless joke is the one about the Arab with the large left nostril..... |
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15 Apr 00 - 10:43 PM (#212488) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Wavestar Hmmm. The Vampire making tea is probably one of the most tasteless ones I've ever heard... Although lots of people seem to get offended by this one: What's black and white and red all over and can't go through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head. Don't blame me (okay, do) - my friends all had sick senses of humour. It can't be that bad, Art. Although you're likely to get more responses the longer you leave us hanging...
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15 Apr 00 - 11:05 PM (#212493) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Jon Freeman What was Marc Bolan's last hit? - A tree. What is the difference betwwen a Lada and A Mercedes? - Princess Dianna wouldn't be seen dead in a Lada. Jon |
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16 Apr 00 - 05:35 AM (#212556) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: GUEST,Brigid in the mountains hi Gary T. no I am nowhere near Canada or America, but smack in the middle of Europe , just up a bit higher!! Never heard of the people you mention. Sorry to dissappoint. |
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16 Apr 00 - 06:58 AM (#212568) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Mark Cohen Then there was the guy who flunked out of pharmacy school...he couldn't figure out how to get the little bottle in the typewriter. (Guess I'll have to change that one to "printer", huh?) |
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16 Apr 00 - 05:27 PM (#212773) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Bill D so, did you hear about the newylweds who didn't know the difference between vaseline and putty?...yep, their window panes tended to fall out... (you gotta purgethose occasionally, or they fester) |
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17 Apr 00 - 01:38 AM (#212960) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: Bugsy Did you hear about the KKK chapter who played the "Roots" video backwards, 'cos they liked happy endings?
Cheers Bugsy |
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17 Apr 00 - 01:41 AM (#212962) Subject: RE: Did you hear about the man.............. From: wysiwyg Baaaaadddd!!!! |