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31 Jul 00 - 10:31 AM (#268521) Subject: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Amos I proposed in an earlier thread on this topic, too long to bring forward here, that a religion based on the contemplation of pulchritudinous curvature should be founded. I am happy to report that my perfervid intuition has once again been validated by "hard" science. The following is relayed by an office mate from the NE Journal of Medicine: "Would you believe this actually came from the New England Journal of Medicine?"
Great news for girl watchers: Ogling over women's breasts is good for a man's health and can add years to his life, medical experts have discovered.
According to the New England Journal of Medicine, "Just 10 minutes of staring at the charms of a well-endowed female is roughly equivalent to a 30-minute aerobics work-out" declared gerontologist Dr. Karen Weatherby.
the startling conclusion after comparing the health of 200 male outpatients - half of whom were instructed to look at busty females daily, the other half told to refrain from doing so. the chest-watchers had lower blood pressure, slower resting pulse rates, and
fewer instances of coronary artery disease.
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31 Jul 00 - 11:06 AM (#268543) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte I once saw a voluptuous woman in a tight T-shirt with huge breasts walking down the street. You could not help but turn around to get a complete viewing of her body. On the back to her T-shirt was written 'Grow Your Own!' I thought that was pretty funny. Bonnie (who now feels she is a volunteer for community health services as she walks down the street in a tank top) |
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31 Jul 00 - 11:39 AM (#268566) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Irish sergeant Trust me I look but when I saw the title of this thread, all I could think of was the movie Gettysburg where buster (Kevin Conway) and Joshua Chamberlain (Jeff Daniels) are having a discussion abou mankind being blessed with a divine spark. Sick yes, but hey I am a Civil War reenactor. Of course, I do admire seeing young ladies in hoop skirts.. Neil |
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31 Jul 00 - 12:26 PM (#268597) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Pete peterson at work Yes, and remember Mark Twain, some years later: "The average American would rather see Lillian Russell naked than General Grant in full uniform." also remember Hood's remark to the Yankee lady wearing an American flag pin, pinned over her chest. I think this is alluded to in Killer Angels (the book0 but didn't make it into the movie. |
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31 Jul 00 - 12:47 PM (#268612) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo I'd rather look into her soul. |
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31 Jul 00 - 12:49 PM (#268615) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Neil, you ought to know that corsets tend to smush the bust curvature down a little bit... unless you're Jane Russell, in which case you'll get an entirely different effect. (Let me say in defense of the corset that it is NOT a torture device as many have been led to believe.) I think all that medical hoohaw was fabricated by Some Dirty Old Man who just wants to ogle breasts. Same goes for beauty pageants... if it's for a college scholarship, why do you have to walk around in a swimsuit? But now, my question is, what about us ladies who are not "well-endowed"? Does it have to be at least a C cup to have any health benefits? If so, that leaves me out. |
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31 Jul 00 - 01:37 PM (#268680) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: SINSULL And what about the health benefits to us ladies who have been known to notice curvature on the opposite sex? Or has nature once again given us the short end of the stick (no pun intended) and inflicted early heart failure on female oglers? Nothing wrong with dying with a smile on one's face... |
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31 Jul 00 - 02:04 PM (#268703) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Now HOW did I know this HAD to be an Amos thread??? How elegant, BTW, is God's creation! *G* ~S~
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31 Jul 00 - 02:15 PM (#268721) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen LOL...reminds me of a professor I had in college: "Men would pay more attention to a woman's mind if it bounced gently when she walked" ~Elle (look all you want, you touch and I breaka you face) |
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31 Jul 00 - 02:18 PM (#268723) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg And it's always hard to nail down causative factors... did the study discuss other activities that may have occurred concomitantly with the ogling, to see if other attributables existed? Attributes, yeah, attributes, that's what that means, uh huh... ~S~ |
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31 Jul 00 - 02:30 PM (#268732) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Amergin Great this means I don't have to participate in any activities to get my exercise....just sit there and watch.... Amerginwhohashishandinhispocket..... |
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31 Jul 00 - 02:37 PM (#268740) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg And what about the 100 "non-lookers"..... snork! Yeah! I am sure they were entirely compliant! Did they keel over? Jen, I think we owe it to the men among us to provide some sort of worship opportunity in the resource pages. How does that song go.... "BOOBS! I'm gonna live foh-reh-vah!" ~S~ |
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31 Jul 00 - 02:45 PM (#268746) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen IMHO there is no such thing as a Non-Looker!! Sorry Praise, I only flash truckers....Besides, there needs to be a bit of mystery to the Divine. What about the guys who got to smell, nuzzle and taste? Are they now invincible? ~Elle |
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31 Jul 00 - 03:52 PM (#268790) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Ow! Ow!! Oh ooh owwww! LOLSHIH!!!! (So Hard It Hurts) JenEllen! I did not mean to imply flashing! You is a married womon now, girl! (Glad to see it ain't affected yer MIND!) I had in mind... a fully clothed and yet somehow worthwhile experience! I know. We need a new thread. Or we can hijack this one. Total inches, running count, of Mudcat female bustline. To be sure there is enough of the divine here to qualify Amos' plan for a new church. 52 and counting! Let's go, girls! ~S~ |
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31 Jul 00 - 03:57 PM (#268796) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Yeah, my mind gently bounces too!!! LOL ~The Divine Miss "L" |
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31 Jul 00 - 04:14 PM (#268812) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Naemanson So let me get this straight.(!) If I watch a woman's chest I will be getting as much exercise as a 30 minute aerobic workout. Does this count outrunning her SO? Actually I prefer the hours of exercise that could occur if she smiles at me when I look. And what about the women I see while I am working out? Does this double the effect of the workout? Can I do a thirty minute aerobic workout at the gym and chalk it up as an hour? There is only one way to find out. We will have to conduct our own experiment to confirm the report. Half of us will have to go on looking and the other half has to quit. Being as how I am proposing the experiment I get to be a looker. Now we need volunteers for lookers and non lookers. |
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31 Jul 00 - 04:15 PM (#268814) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Praise, add 35 to that. (Okay, so I'm odd. Makes shopping for foundations a never-ending adventure. What I'd like to know is, when did bras get to be so damn expensive! And why is it so hard to find one that FITS!) If women ogling men is of any health benefit, I will probably live forever. Yes, I'm married, but I ain't DEAD! Already told Mister if Mel Gibson's wife dies (because he probably will never divorce her), he'll be in big trouble. Mister, that is. I may have been ogled once or twice. Mister freely admits to ogling me on an ongoing basis, but of course, that's his job. He admits to admiring shapely women; although, one evening we went to a restaurant and a woman in his line of view was VERY well-endowed and falling out of her blouse (which was actually a swimsuit, it turned out). He switched places at the table so his back was toward her. "I can't look at that while I'm eating," he said. |
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31 Jul 00 - 04:23 PM (#268827) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo That's right! Those other girls don't even get so much as a quick glance from me! Cuz I don't need them! I got a girl and don't care about any others! BTW read this. --Matt |
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31 Jul 00 - 04:39 PM (#268838) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Nice job, Mbo. Very sweet. :) |
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31 Jul 00 - 05:36 PM (#268875) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg OK, 52 + 35 + 87, who's next, add as you go.... ~S~ |
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31 Jul 00 - 06:43 PM (#268932) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Gawd, if that's true, the dairy farmers around here are healthy as all get-out....I don't imagine many of you girls ever pull calves, but put a tank top, get on your knees and fish around under the couch for a bit...things tend to show. Mary in Kentucky can coroborate...at the clinic, one of the little cartridges for 'bloodwork' is about the size of a matchbook. It has to be refridgerated to keep, but heated to body temp to use. I shocked the hell out of our drug rep. by grabbing one out of the fridge and tucking it in my cleavage before running into the exam room (WHAT could bring up temp faster, I ask you???) Naemanson; I'll be suprised if you find ANY here for control group....you'll have to come up with an adequate placebo...LOL
~Elle |
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31 Jul 00 - 07:04 PM (#268955) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Jen! You ARE my sister! I have heated baby bottles that way! (When I was babysitting, you sillies!) Ladies... 'fess up. Do you carry your car keys in there too? We had a funny thread, awhile back, about what-all people keep in their instrument cases. I think I won a prize for how much I could stuff in an autoharp case. But brazzers-- personal instrument storage case.... keys, money, pager, business cards, yeah! Pager!! hahaaa! Mine BEEP! *G* Or vibrate! ~S~ |
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31 Jul 00 - 07:12 PM (#268963) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: SINSULL And while the ladies are running around searching for measuring tapes, can we expect the gentlemen to make use of their 12" rulers? |
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31 Jul 00 - 07:18 PM (#268972) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Oh dear...that's TOO funny! |
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31 Jul 00 - 07:24 PM (#268977) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg Sinsull, I try never to confuse equality with e-quality. I think it will be better if we girls just rave on. Notice how we ladies add ours up instead of comparing and competing. Unfortunately, I fear your "suggestion" might simply cause a Mudcat Testosterone Alert. Besides, what if they forgot to actually measure? That would be a shame. Oh, I enjoy being a girl! (Preen, preen!) *G*
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31 Jul 00 - 07:27 PM (#268981) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Naemanson I'd offer a measurement but nobody would believe it. Besides, it isn't how much you have but how you use it. I don't usually talk this way. You people are a bad influence!*BG* |
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31 Jul 00 - 07:39 PM (#268988) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Tell me about it Naemason! But then like Bert says... |
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31 Jul 00 - 08:04 PM (#269001) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless I'll volunteer to be in the control group. I've seen enough in my day that I can live without for a while. Besides, I just started a diet and riding a bicycle 5 miles a day - I could do without the extra strain caused by scheduled ogling. It's a clean job, but someone's gotta do it. |
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31 Jul 00 - 08:21 PM (#269010) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: JenEllen Sinsull, I thought for guys it was the platitude of "It's not what you have, it's how you use it..."???? I consider it a benefit of patriarchal oppression to NOT have to compare the "gals" to others like a bunch of Holsteins at the state fair!! The fact that they exhist is enough to stop traffic. Kudos Homeless....you are a brave man! Mbo, what does Bert say? (cringing girl) ~Elle (goddess in training)
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31 Jul 00 - 08:41 PM (#269031) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo Bert says (in my best Bert voice): "Size doesn't matter, size doesn't matter..."
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31 Jul 00 - 09:20 PM (#269063) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Amos Ok, guys...we'll take them up on the cumulative figures. I offer the square root of 50 for starters. I leave the units up to you.
A |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:25 PM (#269068) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless 2pi |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:27 PM (#269069) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo But Amos, I don't remember how to do square roots anymore! What if I run mine through the quadratic formula instead? |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:41 PM (#269079) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Maybe I'll just dunk my breast in water and do a displacement test to see how much space they take up. BB |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:44 PM (#269082) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless Bonnie - the old displacement trick is for weight, not volume. |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:45 PM (#269084) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo What about atomic weight? How many Jovian units are they? |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:49 PM (#269086) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Homeless, as a breast owner I must say when there is weight, there is volume. BB |
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31 Jul 00 - 09:57 PM (#269096) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Homeless I defer to your superior expirience. (and with that he once again fades silently into the background) |
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31 Jul 00 - 10:08 PM (#269108) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Mbo - regarding looking into her soul (far above, sorry for being so late): Yes, me too, but that doesn't seem to be one of the achievable things, so... *sigh* :-D Joerg |
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31 Jul 00 - 10:14 PM (#269115) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo It's better to at least try instead of sitting around ogling parts! Cause that's where the good stuff REALLY is, in the place that's maybe not so easy to see. --Matt ("Tell me every little thing that makes you happy...") |
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31 Jul 00 - 10:26 PM (#269122) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Yes, you're right, Mbo. You can always get a little (that's a VERY poor attempt to translate a charming new saying recently introduced in german). Applies to souls as well as to other things... ;-) Joerg |
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01 Aug 00 - 12:11 AM (#269170) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Jeri This is a a plot. Honestly! I'd think ogling would, in many cases, shorten one's life expectancy... |
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01 Aug 00 - 03:21 AM (#269245) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: PoohBear only if one's SO objects to said ogling |
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01 Aug 00 - 05:18 AM (#269267) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Bonnie, re: the tank top. The management of the NYCFTTS urgently requests you forward photos, (better yet, videos), to 'Spaw so he can prescribe them to suitable inmates strictly for therapeutic purposes, you understand. Strangely, although Herself has commented when I expose my hairy flab to the sunshine that I might lke to consider wearing a Wonderbra (TM), I never get admiring glances from passers-by of either sex, though some have been known to vomit once they've gone past. RtS |
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01 Aug 00 - 06:23 AM (#269281) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Naemanson [Sarcasm Alert] This is a disgusting thread. I'm shocked, shocked, I tell you. I've read it FIVE times now just to make sure there was no redeeming qualities and I am sure that there are none! All this talk of body parts, especially those of the female persuasion, leaves me exhausted and... I guess I've said enough. I'll wait (on tenterhooks) for the next installment in this story. *BG* |
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01 Aug 00 - 08:38 AM (#269343) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte Roger, I sent Catspaw an entire photo album after we settled on a financial agreement. From what I understand, Catspaw has a lucrative business going. Did he ever send you his list of medicinal websites to visit. I think he keeps a tight lid of his business adventures. If I were you, I would send him a personal message inquiring but from what I understand, his membership fees are extremely high. BB |
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01 Aug 00 - 08:50 AM (#269352) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Thanks, Bonnie, as I'm a mere bedpan operative at the NYCFTTS he doesn't always keep me fully informed, though he does let me have damaged goods at a reasonable price. Anyone know where you can get a puncture repair kit for a blow-up doll (Monica Mark 2)? Actually, some of the inmates here say never mind you in the tank top, pictures of the banjo would get them even more excited, but they are in our intensive care ward. RtS |
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01 Aug 00 - 09:27 AM (#269378) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C I told this to Mister last night when I got home. He got this dreamy look on his face, smiled REAL big, and said, "I'm gonna live a LOOOONG time." Then we saw a news report saying that a beer a day is beneficial. So we figure that between ogling and drinking, we may have found the secret to eternal life. :) |
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01 Aug 00 - 10:20 AM (#269427) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: SINSULL Mbo, Careful about running anything through a quadratic formula. We don't want you doing any permanent damage. |
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01 Aug 00 - 09:52 PM (#269941) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg Mbo - (sorry, SINSULL, although you're also right) - It's true, be careful with things like 'quadratic formulae' but don't simply throw them away. The results you get are at least EXACT which doesn't mean that they are also ACCURATE - there's an important difference in between, and we need BOTH kinds of results, so it's a catastrophy to confuse these concepts thus thinking it's only one. You are EXACTLY right. I'm talking of souls now: It's impossible to strip her naked, but it is always possible to ogle the parts you can see if you are just looking (trying). And I also think that if there really is something like fairness every human being has some right of at least experiencing one case of another human being at least TRYING to ogle his/her soul, i.e. the visible parts. You can't get all of it, but trying to at least get a little is THAT much more than simply not trying... Love Joerg |
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01 Aug 00 - 10:13 PM (#269956) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Mbo I agree heartily, Joerg! Well said! --Matt |
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01 Aug 00 - 10:21 PM (#269959) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Uncle_DaveO I think what the study actually proves is that it's harmful to a man's health to lie to researchers about what he's been looking at. Dave Oesterreich |
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01 Aug 00 - 10:31 PM (#269967) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: bbelle Ok ... I told myself I wasn't going to post to this thread because it REALLY has nothing to do with music ... now you've forced me to relate my best breast/brazzer story ... I had decided I wanted to try contacts and chose some that were tinted green. They looked great with my hair and skin but I was having a hell of a time getting used to them. Farther along in the day, they were bothering me so much I started to take them out and put them in their little case, and I lost one. I literally crawled around the floor, at my office, looking for this little green piece of round plastic. I didn't find it ... plopped my glasses back on my nose ... and didn't think about it too much the rest of the day. That evening, when I arrived home, I puttered around a bit and decided to take a tubby. I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror, sans glasses, taking off my brazzer. I looked down and there was this horrible green slimy sore covering my left nipple. I panicked and put my glasses back on ... it was my missing green contact. moonchild |
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02 Aug 00 - 10:38 AM (#270260) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: A Wandering Minstrel The correct unit for measurement is of course the BSH (British Standard Handful). This is great, means I'm going to get a lot older! |
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02 Aug 00 - 11:32 AM (#270300) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Little Neophyte That's pretty funny Moonchild. It reminds me of the time I put on a pair of tights (leotards/leggings). I looked down at my knee and saw it was all swollen. I thought to myself.....this is odd, I don't remember injuring my knee? I actually got kind of scared thinking maybe I had a serious tumour or something until I realized it was a pair of rolled up socks that got caught in there while I was pulling my tights on. BB |
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02 Aug 00 - 11:40 AM (#270309) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: Kim C Lone Star Beer, and Boob Wills Music.............. |
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02 Aug 00 - 12:15 PM (#270341) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: bbelle Bonnie ... that's funny! I like to wear shoulder pads with some clothes and I a couple pairs of the foam pads that are supposed to "stay-put." I had donned a pair one day for work and was sitting at my desk working away, when I looked down and noticed my left breast was quite swollen. I looked at the right one and it was normal size. I panicked and was about to call my doctor, when I felt it to see if it was sore and realized it was my shoulder pad, which had slipped off my shoulder and wended it's way downward. moonchild |
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02 Aug 00 - 12:44 PM (#270361) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: wysiwyg You too can jump up and down and appear to spit quarters, ladies. Just put spare change in yer brazzer, and at the end of the day the quarter which has stuck itself on will pop right off most surprisingly. Always entertaining. ~S~ |
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02 Aug 00 - 01:30 PM (#270396) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,person at work Am replying from work so no-one knows me........ What i thread!!! What a bunch of funny people. I am enjoying the topic and you people very much.... Hello to all the "hearme" people. Bonnie, drop by and pick us a banjo tune sometime. |
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02 Aug 00 - 08:53 PM (#270685) Subject: RE: BS: Breastworks and the Divine Spark From: GUEST,Joerg To the males (close your eyes, ladies) ... Doesn't give you the topic of this thread (i.e. the choice of words) the idea of combining Michelangelo's painting of God and Adam with the 'Naked Maya' by - er - Goya(?) Joerg |