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another one lost

17 Sep 00 - 02:13 PM (#299334)
Subject: another one lost
From: GUEST,Seasoned Mudcattter

Another mudcatter is gone. This is an individual who is not flashy and never has felt the need to post to every thread on the forum. They are obviously knowledgeable about folk music and folksingers and was generous enough to share that with this forum. Their offerings were always short and to the point. Now, even they have been turned off by this website. Why? You say? Because of the crap. Threads started about favorite toothpastes or how to tell time. By covert white sheets. By dictatorships. By the need of some to exploit the plights of others. By the fear of some to speak out. By the insidious red tide of bigotry now so prevalent on this forum. This person won't be missed because there was never a need to install theirself as a "personality," preferring instead, to give assistance, when needed, or to impart some bit of knowledge.


17 Sep 00 - 03:13 PM (#299369)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Roger in Sheffield

Bigotry?
Please explain
I ignored the toothpaste thing and have instead learned today that the tunes carrick fergus and haste to the wedding can be the same thing - which cleared up a confusion I had been having
Hope I have not offended anyone and please do not leave whoever you are through difference of opinion


17 Sep 00 - 03:33 PM (#299375)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Ed Pellow

Guest,

The only poster that I know, who meets your criteria is Malcolm Douglas.

He hasn't left, but continues to ignore the the stuff that doesn't interest him, and posts intelligent and informed stuff when he has something to say.

Personally, I don't engage in the threads that you mention, prefering to offer help when I can, or ask for help when I'm sure someone will be able to offer advice.

Do you stop drinking somewhere because a few people at the next table talk crap?

Ed


17 Sep 00 - 03:47 PM (#299378)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Big Mick

Very good post, Ed. I continue to believe that people that leave should simply be wished well, and then we should be about our business. Folks that continually predict the end of the Mudcat as we know it should take notice of how long they have been making this prediction. It goes back as long as I have been here and we just keep chugging along. Kudo's to you and Malcolm for contributing, and mightily so, to those areas of our village that interest you.

Bigotry? The bigotry lies in those that profess to care for the Mudcat as long as it fits their notion of what it should be.

I wish our departed member well, hope they will stop back now and again, and wish those that post anonymously that someday they will grow a backbone and just post. And when someone makes an assertion, such as "well we have lost another one", without any data to back it up, that is called a gratuitous assertion. These can be denied just as gratuitously. So, GUEST, no one has left. In fact, The Mudcat is growing.

Mick


17 Sep 00 - 04:24 PM (#299390)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Ebbie

It's theirself's loss. (Ugh!

Ebbie


17 Sep 00 - 04:30 PM (#299396)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Morticia

here we go again.......


17 Sep 00 - 04:47 PM (#299402)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: McGrath of Harlow

Goodbye, goodbye, Wipe the tiny tear from your eye, Though it's hard to part I know, I'll be tickled to death to go. Don't cry, don't sigh, There's a silver lining in the sky, Bon soir old thing, Cheerio, chin-chin, Napoo, toodle-oo, goodbye.


17 Sep 00 - 04:56 PM (#299408)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Tiger

I may have unwittingly unleashed the toothpaste/breakfast cereal juggernaut back on 1/6/99 when I asked "How old is a Mudcatter?" I don't recall similar questions before that.

Unlike the more recent queries, though, I though my question was relevant, given that we react to music differently at different ages (as in the nursing home "Till We Meet Again" requests). Who ever forgot what was playing when you and your girl were in the back seat of that Chevy?

So, maybe I'm guilty for this one. However, someone else will have to 'fess up as the originator of the 'political soapbox' and 'pitiful Pearl' genres.


17 Sep 00 - 05:21 PM (#299429)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,Kernow Jon

Mick
Just because a person posts anonymously doesn't mean they don't have a backbone.
The name I use means nothing, I'm a long term catter who made the mistake of publishing his e-mail address and finished up getting abusive mails from others here.
I still use the cat and help out where I can, but prefer to remain free from abuse.
KJ


17 Sep 00 - 05:26 PM (#299431)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Tig

Being a relatively new Mudcat compared to some of you I have found a whole new range of friends on the site - and in the flesh! I've been on the scene for 30 years now and can definately state that during that time I have not spent all my time in deep discussions about music with my folk friends. We have talked about just about everything under the sun and often disagreed with each other/heard a load of crap/done or said things we later regretted. However there was always the chance to talk music or ask for help if we wanted to.

When Bill encouraged me to join Mudcats I was lead to understand that the site was for 'real' people who would be interested in folk (doesn't that mean "of the people"?) and would soon become internet friends. So let us have these threads. I don't read all of them and rarely post - but I've learnt a lot from those I have read about all sorts of things, just as I have done at a festival, pub session or club over the years. Keep up ALL the range of threads. If someone leaves in a huff it's their problem. It happens all the time in the great wide world!


17 Sep 00 - 06:11 PM (#299462)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,The Invisible Blazoona

About a year ago, I posted a thread (under my real name) about how I was also leaving the Mudcat, never to return, because of what I felt were it's shortcomings.

I subsequently realized that I had been a horses ass.

I'm back now, embarrassed, under an alias, and wishing I hadn't said the things I said.

Maybe the "Seasoned Mudcatter" will end up feeling as I do.


17 Sep 00 - 06:42 PM (#299480)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,Seasoned Mudcatter

KJ: You are absolutely correct.

Ed Pellow: There are many mudcatters who meet the criteria, many of whom are no longer here.

Big Mick: You are not unkind, but that is how you are acting.

The Invisible Blazoona: "Seasoned Mudcatter" is not the one who has gone.

This is precisely why I posted as "Seasoned Mudcatter."


17 Sep 00 - 06:50 PM (#299484)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: CarolC

In light of the fact that reading or responding to threads is optional, not mandatory, and in light of the wealth of substantive and informative thread subjects and information available here, I would say that anyone who leaves because he or she objects to the presence of things that he or she does not favor, is just shooting him or herself in the tootsies.

I think it might also be worth considering the possibility that some threads (like maybe the toothpaste thread), are just started by bored people who want to stir things up, or have a laugh at our expense. To judge the Mudcat as a whole on the basis of such people doesn't make very much sense to me.

I like this place.

Carol


17 Sep 00 - 07:03 PM (#299490)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Lepus Rex

What a load. I doubt anyone's gone. 'Seasoned Mudcatter' is just some member who wants to control the direction of Mudcat with guilt. "Oh, some poor gal/guy couldn't deal with seeing thread names like 'what's your fave toothpaste' so s/he was forced to leave!" Boo-fuckin'-hoo. If annoying thread titles are the hardest thing this fake person ever has to live through, they're VERY fortunate.

There's plenty of pure music threads around. So they share more space with 'frivilous' threads now days. Don't read threads you know you won't like. Lots of folks do that, sticking only to music threads. I read both, myself, because I enjoy both kinds (though due to my limited knowledge of music, I may not post to many musical threads). There's nothing to bitch about.

And if you really feel the urge to bitch, at least grow some globes and use your member name.

---Lepus Rex


17 Sep 00 - 07:11 PM (#299494)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Bill D

there are people who quit coming to our local song circle...for various reasons. Some quit because the 'quality' wasn't high enough. Some because the group talked too much to suit them. Some because they had pressing 'life' elsewhere. Some because they realized after a few times that we did not use 'Rise Up Singing' as our major input and had only a little bit of singer/songwriter performances....but after 25+ years, we are still having nice evenings.

Face it...no place can be all things to all people, and some folks have a higher threshold of pain and a better ability sort wheat from chaff.


17 Sep 00 - 07:28 PM (#299502)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Helen

Rest assured, The Invisible Blazoona, your horses ass is just as invisible as your Blazoona.

Welcome back. And maybe someday you will feel comfortable to use your own Mudcat name again. I am confident that rather than derision you are more likely to get lots of hugs and snogs from the majority of 'Catters. Here are some hug-snogs from me to start with.

Helen


17 Sep 00 - 07:31 PM (#299503)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jeri

The folks who choose to engage in discussions on volatile subjects should know they may eventually feel mad and frustrated. I've done this in the past, to the point where I walked away for a while to cool off. I did not once say I was leaving forever, because I knew myself better than that. I couldn't turn my backs on the many friends I've made here because of an argument.

I believe the Mudcatter in question left because a couple of people lost their tempers. This is a human thing to do, although many of us like to think we're above it. The guest who started this mess is attempting to "demonize" Mudcat in general, but I have a hard time taking the phrase "insidious red tide of bigotry" seriously. (sorry, I've got this image of clams with tiny little protest signs stuck in my head.)

People had different opinions. People got pissed off and reacted. Once the emotional reactions started, any chance at communication was mostly gone. Of course, if you want to keep the anger at a nice, high level, keep this thread and ones like it going. The damned alien brain-suckers are back.


17 Sep 00 - 11:07 PM (#299609)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,Luther

well, I missed whatever this was about. But I did enjoy the phrase "insidious red tide of bigotry", very much.

I enjoyed it so much, my wife, in the next room, yelled "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING AT!!!???? YOU SOUND LIKE A LUNATIC!!!"

in fact, I'm still enjoying it. I hope I recover...


18 Sep 00 - 12:17 AM (#299644)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: The Beanster

I used to go to a very nice grocery store that was full of delicious, fresh food, at a reasonable price. I liked the melons and the asparagus and the big juicy steaks they sold there. Then one day, they started selling sardines, too. I don't like sardines. I tried to tell them, "Stop selling sardines! I don't like sardines!" But they wouldn't stop. So I had to leave and I haven't been back since.


18 Sep 00 - 01:11 AM (#299673)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,The Ivisble Blazoona

Thanks Helen. You're very sweet, but I don't feel quite ready yet.

For the time being, I'm just glad to be back, even under a different name


18 Sep 00 - 01:14 AM (#299676)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Mbo

Throw out the life-line
Throw out the the life-life
Someone is drifting away...

(old gospel tune)


18 Sep 00 - 01:27 AM (#299685)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Big Mick

Welcome back, Invisible Blazoona. I am sorry you left, and am glad that you have rejoined us. You know how it is here..........jump in where you feel like it, ignore what you don't. I am pleased you have rejoined us. We are the better for it.

Seasoned Mudcatter, I just don't get it. I made my comments without rancor. I bear no malice towards those that leave. In fact, I appreciate it when they do so without leaving the rest of us with a load of phony crap. This place is permanent. It will be here whether you are here, I am here or anyone else is here. I wish you would reread my post above and tell me what was mean about it. It was not my intent to be mean, and I am sorry you took it that way. There is another 'Catter that has made that accusation. I suspect you are the same person. Regardless of whether you are or not, would you do me a kindness and point out what you felt was mean about that post.

Thanks

Mick


18 Sep 00 - 05:10 PM (#300166)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,finders keepers

the lost one is probably one of the jews from the folk nazi thread.

or maybe it was one of the gypsies who don't like the blarney brothers.

i assume that it's not one of the black bluegrass musicians.

some people take offense so easily.

the true mudcatters know that its all in good fun.


18 Sep 00 - 05:17 PM (#300170)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Froodo

see you later...good luck


18 Sep 00 - 05:19 PM (#300171)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jed at Work

Invisible Blazoona - welcome back, and I hope you stay.


18 Sep 00 - 05:25 PM (#300177)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: The Beanster

If you have something to say, why not post it using your known Mudcat name? If you're unwilling to take responsibility for your words, they are worthless.


18 Sep 00 - 05:25 PM (#300178)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: mousethief

We yam what we yam. Those who feel they must leave because of it, fare you well.

Welcome back, Blazoona.

Alex
O..O
=o=


18 Sep 00 - 05:26 PM (#300179)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: oggie

In my short time here this is the second (or possibly third) time this thread has come up in one form or another. If the day comes when I cease to enjoy Mudcat I will go quietly and fussless, as I suspect all of us have left something during our lives. Such an act is voluntary, we don't pay to join, we don't get paid, it's meant to be FUN and I enjoy the place. Some non-music threads are fascinating and illuminating, a few posts are inspired and inspiring. The toothpaste thread I can do without and so I haven't bothered reading it, no matter, if someone else enjoys it, fine. I have also had some lovely debates with other 'catters and found some words I was after, it's been FUN.

I belong to another list which recently went through a bout of bad feeling and in some cases quite abusive posts. Some people left but quite quickly it has all settled down and gone back to being friendly and informative. I suspect it's the nature of the beast.

Leave if you wish to but do not throw the baby out with the bathwater! There is no obligation to read every thread (life's too short and I've got some new tunes to learn) enjoy the bits that interest you but don't try and control veryone else with a mass guilt- trip.

All the best

Steve


18 Sep 00 - 05:27 PM (#300182)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Kim C

There's a lot of stuff I don't read. Then again, there's a lot of ridiculous stuff I do read. If I want to contribute, I do, if I don't, then I don't. Sure, there is a lot of silly stuff going on here. I can't tell you how many good laughs I've got from some of it. But there is also a wealth of information. Sometimes it's like an antique store - if you want to shop, you have to wade through a little junk. No big deal. To each their own. :)


18 Sep 00 - 05:44 PM (#300197)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Melani

It seems to me that we all have one common interest that brought us here--folk music--but that aside from that, we are a greatly varied group. I love being able to find music information here, and I love finding out about the other people in this forum as well. Some of the sillier threads have been a really great and fun way to do that. The only way to make friends is to get to know people, and you don't have to agree with all of someone's opinions to be friends.

Although I must say that I was rather hoping that the thread titled "The CONSTITUTION and YOUR UNDERWEAR" was a parody of "The CONSTITUTION and the GUERRIERE"...


18 Sep 00 - 06:39 PM (#300237)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: little john cameron

Jist in case yese were wonderin aboot me,ah'm still here.The weather is grand so ah've been wheughin aroon oan mah bike.When the snaw comes ah'll be stuck in the hoose again,so ah'm makin the maist o it noo. LJC


18 Sep 00 - 06:53 PM (#300249)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: CarolC

little john cameron-

I'm glad you're still around.

Guest, finders keepers-

Sometimes it's not all in good fun. For instance, your post doesn't sound like good fun to me. It feels like an insideous way of including the rest of us in something you are doing that is in bad taste. Please count me out of your fun.

Carol


18 Sep 00 - 07:08 PM (#300257)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: catspaw49

Tell ya' what LJC, I noticed you were missing, but I figured you'd been arrested because of the transvestite thing. Personally, I'm glad you're enjoying the great outdoors, but I'll feel much better when winter comes and you can indulge your passion for skirts and knee socks in the privacy of your own home. Until then, I urge you to use caution. Better yet, just wear pants.

Glad you're back Blazoona.

Spaw


18 Sep 00 - 07:52 PM (#300280)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,The Invisible Blazoona

Thanks to all for the kind words.

It sure goes to prove that even when there are disagreements, this is still a great place with wonderful people.


18 Sep 00 - 08:18 PM (#300299)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Max

Let us make a philosophical analogy and pretend for a moment that Mudcat = Life. There is no doubt that the events and social construct are similar if not just a subset. (One difference is that LIFE may in fact have a GOD, where Mudcat certainly does not. This simply means that the Mudcat is up to us to create and maintain which is a blessing and a burden, without THE BIG GUY'S HELP.)

Leaving the Mudcat would be like committing suicide in Life. By opening a discussion about it beforehand you are simply crying out for help or grasping for attention just as most suicide threats attempt to do.

When people do this in reality, that is threaten to kill themselves, are they naively trying to get the world to change around them when in fact it is them that needs to change? After all, the world is wholly indifferent.

Perhaps the change is just some needed tolerance to NOT take Life so personal or serious.

Perhaps these victims are asking for a perfect world, one personal to them, not taking into consideration the thousands upon thousands of other people in this world who also have self interest. This may be an egocentric disorder, or just selfishness.

Perhaps it is true pain or disdain. Even so, is killing yourself a justifiable scenario in dealing with true concepts?

In Life and On Mudcat:

...You have control of your environment and your actions. You can choose to get and take and give what you want and refuse the rest.

...You may think that you, just one person, could not change this world when in fact you might.

...All we can really do is show by example.

...Create WHAT IS with our collective desires, passions, beliefs, personalities, etc. Life is what you make it. (and without The Big Guy's help the Mudcat sure is what we make it!)

Members come and go, we have to deal with that, but now we're scaring away the new folks. Lets get some love in the air! huh folks? Take that energy that you waste on complaining and spread some joy, kind words, and music threads for GOD'S sake.


18 Sep 00 - 09:39 PM (#300341)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Lonesome EJ

THAT,Max,was a dandy post.


18 Sep 00 - 11:43 PM (#300408)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,Alex

As someone who has been a DT contributor from way back and posts to the music-related threads where I can help, my general rule of thumb (although I hate to "generalize" I made an exception in this case) is - If there are more than 20 posts it has usually degenerated into BS and I ignore it. If someone has a legitimate request and it has not been answered in the first 5-10 replies it is usually so obscure that even the mudcat experts don't know or it was a BS request in the first place. (Well, sometimes, they get ten BS replies that are no help at all.) I remember that we once tried to persuade folks to announce BS threads by putting BS in the thread title. Can we try to do that?


19 Sep 00 - 02:01 AM (#300460)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Lena

I may bee too new and young and shallow,but I'm for freedom of communication and enjoy both threads about toothpastes and lyrics requests.More,I wouldn't probably a Mudcat regular if there wasn't a good hint of human,fun,nutty contributions but just serious exchanges of tunes.And apparently this lost mudcatter had a big hit of 'personality thing'with this thread.


19 Sep 00 - 07:18 AM (#300529)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: dwditty

Call me shallow, folks, but I just plain love the mudcat. Plenty of people have come and gone. Some were cool, some were not, so I miss some and don't really miss others. Who remembers Shula, Gene, Elwood Delta, Earl, Peter (from San Diego-I think he first posted the "How to write a blues song" thread), and the list goes on. It doesn't bother me much if folks decide to leave, and most just stop coming by without any word of farewell. Sure I miss 'em, but it ain't life and death here people. There are still plenty of kind folks around - some will stay, some will go, news ones will do the same. In thinking about it, I wouldn't trade out any of the new folks here to get the old ones back. After all, what would hearme be like without Mbo. Almost every post Giac makes cracks me up. And those pesky woodchucks from up north. And Biskit driving his truck around the country, hooking up with Mudcatters along the way. So, in my mind, our little space here keeps changing - not better, not worse, just changing. If you like it you'll stay. If you don't you won't. No offense taken here if you do leave. I hope you feel the same.

love,

dw


19 Sep 00 - 07:20 AM (#300531)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: dwditty

One other thing, if it wasn't for all the "stupid" threads, we never would have gotten the now famous "What Condoms do Mudcatters Prefer" thread.

dw


19 Sep 00 - 07:43 AM (#300537)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Bagpuss

Max - I know the suicide thing was only an analogy, but it does perpetuate some misconceptions. While it is true that most people who threaten suicide or make a half-hearted suicide attempt, do not go on to commit suicide - it is also thrue that the vast majority of people who do commit suicide have threatened or tried it in the past. Therefore, every "cry for help" should be taken seriously.

I have nowt to say about mudcatters leaving though...

Bagpuss


19 Sep 00 - 08:37 AM (#300564)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Wolfgang

I don't know whom Seasoned Mudcatter had in mind, but I am missing Lesley N and his invaluable contributions since about a quarter of a year. Lest Mick can say 'no one has left' unchallenged.

Wolfgang


19 Sep 00 - 08:55 AM (#300581)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jon Freeman

Wolfgang, I think that you will find that Lesley is female (Leslie is the male spelling) and I think (and hope) that she is still around. Outside Mudcat, I believe that Lesley makes another invaluable contribution to folk music - contemplator.com.

Jon


19 Sep 00 - 09:03 AM (#300588)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: JedMarum

contemplator.com??? That is an excellent website, filled with wonderful information! congrats to our Mudcat Lesley, if indeed it is her site!


19 Sep 00 - 09:03 AM (#300590)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Wolfgang

Jon,
thanks for the correction. (And I thought I was safe with my guess this time)

Wolfgang


19 Sep 00 - 09:39 AM (#300611)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Big Mick

Wolfgang, please stay with the context. My point wasn't that no one had left. My point was that when someone starts a thread with a gratuitous assertion, that assertion can be gratuitously denied and have as much validity as the original. I find a thread started by someone who acts anonymously, making a gratuitous assertion to be suspect. Fortunately, in grand Mudcat fashion, we have taken it and made it into a valuable thread.

And I still haven't heard what it was that I said in my previous post that was mean. None of it was intended to be such. You will note, please, that the same person who started this thread made the assertion that my post was mean. Just as there was no basis to start the original, there was no response to my request that they explain what was mean. That speaks to me of this person's motive in starting the whole discussion. This is more of the same crap that we have seen before. These people want it to be what they want instead of what it is. That's OK, but not realistic.

Mick


19 Sep 00 - 09:41 AM (#300614)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jeri

Pedantic bit - I think "Lesley" is both male and female spelling, and "Leslie" is usually female. In any case, I believe the person we're speaking about is female. I agree the website is great, and one of my favorite places on the web.

On the guilt trip SM is attempting to lay on us - I have no contol over other people's minds, computers or "Submit Message" buttons. You may wish to hold us all (including yourself) responsible, but it's an unrealistic wish. We may wish that the person who has left hadn't felt as angry as he did, and didn't blame everyone here - including friends - for what a few people said. This is probably just as unrealistic.

The person in question would probably enjoy a moderated list somewhere, where the types of things you mentioned in your first post are censored. That's just about the only way to keep certain topics or viewpoints from being discussed. Of course, not one person has the opportunity to learn something new if that happens, but perhaps it's not worth the risk. (note irony, please)


19 Sep 00 - 12:47 PM (#300769)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Kim C

I belong to three other lists and I can tell you that this sort of stuff goes on there, too, from time to time. When you have several hundred people together in one place, it's unrealistic to expect that ALL OF THEM will agree and play nice with one another. I even got my feelings hurt once by an Official List Curmudgeon (not here) and I sent a PM saying, look, I know you probably didn't mean for that to be mean, but it really did upset me, because blahblahblah. He apologized and agreed that it may have sounded wrong, I accepted, end of story. We settled it privately and politely. I didn't leave because some grump shot from the hip and managed to scrape me. I'm not the only one who's felt his barbs. But we all put up with him, because we know how he is, and because He Knows A Lot of Stuff.

If someone ever feels like they need to take their ball and go home, that's their decision. Maybe they just need a little time to refresh.

Personally I like the BS threads. They make for fun conversation and a few laffs in my little cube. :)


19 Sep 00 - 12:52 PM (#300775)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jon Freeman

Not according to my dictionary (Chambers 20th Century English) Jeri. Leslie is given as m and Lesley is given as f.

Jon


19 Sep 00 - 12:55 PM (#300781)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: MK

I've stated this before but it merits saying again to those shit disturbers and flamers. Get out and actually meet, mingle and play with some Mudcatters. You won't ever have the urge to flame them again, it will be easier in future to ignore the small percentage of bullshit that happens here and focus on your friends and other pertinent, rational areas of discussion.


MK
-who fully expects to be flamed over this message *G*


19 Sep 00 - 01:36 PM (#300811)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jim the Bart

I'm sure that the individual who began this thread was speaking about her/him self and that this was more a regret than a gratuitous assertion. Maybe saying "I'm leaving and here's why" would have been better and clearer. I, personally, don't think anything is gained by chastising someone for expressing their concern for the Cat. People should state their concerns for something that they consider important in their life.

I happen to like the breadth of the discussion here; as Tig mentioned, people talk about lots of little stuff on their way to the big stuff, and one often enlightens the other. I would worry, though, if the number of postings becomes a problem for the good folks who provide and maintain this site. Servers can get jammed up with data, after all. But if Max and Joe Offer are not concerned about the BS-threads, I won't discourage anyone from bringing up anything - I'll just pay attention to the ones that catch my fancy. I would suggest that before starting a thread you look at the existing ones to see if you're walking on well-travelled ground. Sometimes reading before speaking is a real time-saver.

Blazoona - I'm glad you're back; I enjoy your posts
Beanster - What have you got against sardines, anyway?
Those who choose to leave - Too bad. Good Luck. So long, it's been good to know ya'


19 Sep 00 - 04:38 PM (#300911)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jeri

"Mind changing at Mudcat" - Jon wins. My dictionary doesn't even have "Lesley" and says "Leslie" is both M and F.

Blazoona, if it makes you feel better, lots of people have left in a huff (was that a 1997, 2-door, Turbo Huff?) and come back. Go ahead and log back in - there's a chance a lot of people will have forgotten or missed it. Even if people remember, you probably won't have to hear about it for very long.


19 Sep 00 - 06:22 PM (#301000)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: GUEST,Brendy

Yo!

If Mudcat = Life, then OK, leaving Mudcat would be considered an act of suicide. But that can be said about almost anything when one equates it with the essence of being.
I know that for some it is exactly that. And that's fair enough, I don't have any gripes about the importance people put things, and the support structures that maintain them. I wouldn't assume, though that the Mudcat is one thing to all people. Had it not been for certain perceived similarities with a few experiences I've had recently, I would have probably left this thread alone and not posted to it, because in the general run of things, its subject matter wouldn't have been one I would have normally any interest in.

I don't like to talk about 'cliqueishness' or lack of it, at the 'cat; I have been pigeonholed into many...and into none, both at the same time. These kind of 'discussions' seem to go around in circles, and rarely get anywhere.
I don't talk about 'leaving the 'cat'. For me that phrase doesn't mean anything; or at least, doesn't mean the same to me as it would to someone else..or someone else. Neither will I be pedantic, and say (as Max has said), that it is only a website, or a number of computers; a folder on your desktop.

No, Mudcat is a community, all right. And quite a number of its inhabitants are good friends 'on the outside', also. I'm no different, although my Mudcat '3D' friends are over here, in my neck of the woods.

But to be honest about it, I don't come here to discuss mudcatology. I'm a 'hunter and gatherer', basically here for the music content, that makes the odd fray into political issues that I have either experience, or interest in. Politics is a dodgy subject, and all sorts of 'dodginess' gets brought into it.
I expect this, and I am prepared for it.

The reason I dropped my cookie (and here, I can only speak for myself) was two-fold.
Without being too specific about the first reason, let's just say that I felt the medium of the PM abused, and then over-abused. That is not a reflection on Max, or anyone involved in the maintenance of this site, and I wouldn't be so naive as to entertain the thought. No, it was a personal thing between two 'catters, and there I will leave it

Reason number two, was in no way related to the first one, and concerns not tempting fate.
When the policy statement in the CD thread was printed for all of us to read, I immediately saw that I was guilty of it. Even if I was only 'guilty' by someone else's edict. Which, depending on which way you looked at it, could mean any person, at any time. And as many remarked, the long slippery slope was in danger of being gone down. I preferred to 'leave the concert', than to be 'ushered to the door'.

It's a strange thing about professionalism in the music world; we are always expected to turn up on time, be sober, have all our strings, etc., in order, and put on a reasonably decent show. It is true, also, that very few of us have fulfilled all the above criteria, all of the time. But I take a look at the audience, try and get some sort of idea from the bar-staff (cos they're the ones that are serving the customers the booze), the nationality of any 'strangers' in the pub.

Outside of the Norwegians, who have no vested interest in what you play, as long as you rock the socks off them with it (and that is in NO WAY disparaging to my Norsk friends), and the Irish, who, here at least, know me, and what I play, and can be relied upon to accept most of the stuff I come out with, I go looking around for the English.

There are many songs that I can put in in the place of even something mild like 'Only our rivers run free'. Singing that song to a Norwegian/Irish audience isn't going to cause any feelings of discomfort among the listeners.
An English person, who has gone to the trouble of seeking out an Irish pub to listen to an evening of Irish music, should not be made to feel uncomfortable by the lyrics of some songs, when there are 1001 others to choose from, that don't touch certain nerves.

To me that is part of a musician's 'professionalism' as well.

I remember many years ago, I got stranded in a Loyalist club in Belfast. I was there with some Protestant friends, and we were there for the most innocent of reasons - getting a drink on a Sunday. Everybody was getting very drunk, and before too long, my friends started to crash out. I didn't want to stay too long in this place, and I couldn't get these guys moving at all. I certainly didn't want to be there at closing time.
But there I was, all the same, at closing time, in the middle of East Belfast, quite drunk, and now attracting the interest of some of the locals, who, having no drink (the bar being closed), spotted our table, with attendant half-consumed pints, and they decided on a bit of good, down home neighbourliness, and came over and interrogated me a bit.

I stood for the National Anthem (The Queen), that night. Apparently that was the only way I could prove that I wasn't a 'Fenian'. It's ironic, really. I was making for the door, when two 'gorillas' grabbed me by the arm, so I was standing anyway.
They let me go, after that; one fractured collar-bone, and a broken ankle, later. But I suppose they thought that the 'humiliation' of standing for 'The Queen' was enough.

I wouldn't make anyone feel uncomfortable like that if they were at one of my gigs.

There are many songs I can play. There are many songs I know backwards. But because I can do them, doesn't mean that it is morally right for me to do them, given certain sets of circumstances.

It may have been wrong of me to withhold the lyrics of Mrs. Stein..., in the earlier lyric request. But, as with a lot of instances of these kind of things, five or six people have been known to respond in the space of an hour, so I didn't see any problem. It just seemed to me that the whole notion of the song was being discussed before the words arrived. I didn't see anything particularly odd about that.

What should we have been done?
Just hit 'REFRESH', every time it was about to fall off the bottom of the page?
The only reason the 'discussion' went on that long was because no-one else had the lyrics, and outside of Áine's courage, I don't recall anybody else's being put to the test, because the lyrics did not become available until Saturday night.

It was when the intimidation charges started to be added, that I started to see a whole new dimension being uncovered, and I offered my membership, rather than have had the dubious humiliation bestowed upon me, of being 'shown the door'. To tell somebody to F off, though, is less aggressive than telling somebody to shut up, in my opinion. But I can only speak for myself here, as well

'Membership' is a state of mind, in my opinion, and, like any 'relationship', can go sour after a while. And because of a certain perceived policy shift, I felt obliged to surrender at least my 'physical' membership. I do not use the medium of Personal Message too often, and those who know me on this forum, and who 'get on' with me, have my E-mail address. Those are the bonds that mean the most to me here, if we talk in terms of a community. Being Guest,Brendy isn't such a big deal, and apart from the fact of giving DougR the added inconvenience of typing six more characters when he addresses me (*BG*), will not affect things one bit.

But it is true that the 'Cat will continue without any input from 'the big guy'. How can it do anything but?
There are many different kinds of writing styles here; some more reserved than others. We have had many 'language' threads here, also, and from what I can remember, I think we all decided we were all big girls and boys, and we didn't all go running off to mammy every time somebody barked at somebody else.
When one picks an issue to defend, no matter what it is, they leave themselves open for holes to be picked in their argument. And I will afford the same courtesy to others, as they do to me. And my 'rules of engagement' are normally determined by the other person.

Debate something with me, fine. Insult my 'intelligence' while you do it, and I react accordingly. That's me. But I don't believe in parcelling every sentence up in a little pink ribbon so that you can open it with silken gloves. I don't do that in ordinary conversation, and certainly wouldn't dream of going to that trouble in the printed media. Hell, I've got long nails on my right hand, and typing can be a real pain in the arse (*BG*). I will always apologise to a person if they have felt I have insulted them by what I have said. I have apologised to people on this forum before, and probably will do again. But I rarely 'jump down somebody's throat' without provocation. And when I do, It's normally for the reasons given above.

If Mudcat doesn't need a God, then, this is good to know. There is nowhere like this place on the net. OK, to me, it is not life; sometimes it seems like a bit if a soap-opera, where everybody gets a go at writing the script, but to me it's a website that quite a number of interesting people exchange views about everything under the sun, and that a fair cross-section of them, know each other socially. Most of these people are quite affable folks, some grumpy, but affable, and some quite pig-headed, and not so affable.

I take my chances with all of these people, every time I post something here, and I have had my throat jumped down on many occasions here. But those that know me, know me. And in a lot of respects, those are about the only ones on this site whose opinion of me I care about. My head's too full of other things to take Max's philosophical step, myself, though generally speaking, he is not that far off the mark.
Suicide, for me, would be the amputation of one of my hands. A lot different from not owning a computer.

But life, and the Mudcat, goes on.

Amen.

B.


20 Sep 00 - 09:43 AM (#301319)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: McGrath of Harlow

Good man Brendy. Only hassle is, the next time we see "GUEST,Brendy" it might be some sheep masquerading in wolf's clothes. But I think we'll recognise the real thing.

"Most of these people are quite affable folks, some grumpy, but affable, and some quite pig-headed, and not so affable." I think we'd be better not starting a thread debate as to who fits in which category. I'd put you in all of them Brendy...depending on the context. And I think that's true of most of us.


20 Sep 00 - 11:12 AM (#301377)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: mousethief

What I want to know is, what if you (this is the generic you, not anybody in particular), I say, what if you find a "Lezlee" who uses the wrong spelling? Do you say, "Excuse me, but the Chambers 20th Century English Dictionary says you're the wrong gender."? That could get kind of dangerous. Imagine the possible responses. "The Chambers 20th Century English Dictionary doesn't even KNOW me!! How can it say I'm the wrong gender?" or worse, "I knew it! I knew it! I'm calling that surgeon back and telling him the operation is ON!"

If your name was the wrong gender according to the Chambers 20th Century English Dictionary, would you have a sex change operation? Change your name? Or just deal with it?

And besides that dictionary is out-of-date (or will be in 3 months depending upon which definition of "20th century" you use, the pendantic or the sloppy). Maybe the Chambers 21st Century English Dictionary (Newly Updated Edition With Gender Assignations Galore!) will recognize that "Lezlee" can be spelled either way.

Just trying to lighten things up here. Sorry if I stepped on any toes.

Alex
O..O
=o=


20 Sep 00 - 11:44 AM (#301396)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: Jon Freeman

Alex, I think you have actually raised a valid point there.

As for out of date, mine is more out of date than that - it is a 1983 edition. I'm not sure what they call the new one but I think they just settle for "The Chambers Dictionary".

BTW, it is quite a useful reference - I think they claim it to be the most comprehensive single volume English Langauge dictionary.

Jon


20 Sep 00 - 10:50 PM (#301921)
Subject: RE: another one lost
From: The Beanster

Bartholomew-- I love sardines! I was just using what appears to be the Guest poster's logic when I made that entry. As someone else said, "throw the baby out with the bathwater." Makes no sense.

Let me just add here that I think a lot of you folks here are too nice! lol Nicer than me, that's for sure! I can't believe the word "guilt" has been used here, several times. How could you guys (not a gender-specific word) possibly feel guilty about someone leaving who doesn't even have the guts to use his/her name to make the opening statement?? Do you feel like you did something wrong?? Baloney--nobody has done anything here to feel guilty about. Don't pull your lovely hair(s) out over this one. If they want to go, they'll go and happy trails to them.

Besides, if Ms./Mr. Anonymous up there were really taking a hike outta here, that's all the more reason to use his/her name, isn't it? I mean, at this point, when they're halfway out the Mudcat door and presumably, we'll never hear from them again, wouldn't that be the perfect time to use their own name to drive the point home--so we could tell just how much we were losing? Hmmmmmm. Maybe that should tell us something...