|
01 Nov 00 - 12:16 AM (#331681) Subject: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: MK Why did the chicken cross the road? VICE PRESIDENT GORE I fight for the chickens and I am fighting for the chickens right now. I will not give up on the chickens crossing the road! I will fight for the chickens and I will not disappoint them. GOVERNOR GEORGE W. BUSH I don't believe we need to get the chickens across the road. I say give the road to the chickens and let them decide. The government needs to let go of strangling the chickens so they can get across the road. SENATOR LIEBERMAN I believe that every chicken has the right to worship his or her God in his or her own way. Crossing the road is a spiritual journey and no chicken should be denied the right to cross the road in his or her own way. SECRETARY CHENEY Chickens are big-time because they have wings. They could fly if they wanted to. Chickens don't want to cross the road. They don't need help crossing the road. In fact, I'm not interested in crossing the road myself. RALPH NADER Chickens are misled into believing there is a road by the evil tire makers. Chickens aren't ignorant, but our society pays tire makers to create the need for these roads and then lures chickens into believing there is an advantage to crossing them. Down with the roads, up with chickens. PAT BUCHANAN To steal a job from a decent, hardworking American. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 12:25 AM (#331685) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: MK Part 1 is here. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 01:05 AM (#331707) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: ddw This (including the original thread) has been an educational read. For all these year's I've labored under the misconception that the chicken crossed the road TO PROVE TO THE RACCOONS IT COULD BE DONE. david |
|
01 Nov 00 - 07:34 AM (#331781) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll Why did the chicken cross the road? Because she was tired of Waiting for Godot. She had to. She was stapled to the punk-rockers ear. For reasons of her own. troll |
|
01 Nov 00 - 08:44 AM (#331812) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: P05139 To get to the Birds Eye shop? So she could give all hedgehogs a one finger salute? She was bored? Just for fun? She was stupid? She was going for her Road-crossing Proficiency test? Another variant on this joke is 'Why did the hedgehog cross the road? To see his/her flatmate!' |
|
01 Nov 00 - 08:59 AM (#331822) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll Watch the hedgehog jokes. I like hedgehogs. My Grand mother was a hedgehog troll |
|
01 Nov 00 - 09:00 AM (#331824) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: P05139 Sorry Troll! I like them too! They're well cute. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 09:00 AM (#331825) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll Lost something. That should have read,"My Grandmother was a hedgehog lover as well. She had several nice recipies for them." troll |
|
01 Nov 00 - 09:45 AM (#331854) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: MMario aw, troll, liked it better when it read your grandmother was a hedgehog. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 09:45 AM (#331856) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Kim C That all depends on what your definition of chicken is. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 12:06 PM (#331966) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: GUEST,Matt_R Ever comb your hair with a hedgehog? It's a scream! |
|
01 Nov 00 - 12:20 PM (#331988) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll Not bad , youngster. Not bad. Now. Aren't you due in class? troll |
|
01 Nov 00 - 12:24 PM (#331993) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Matt_R Nope! Not till 2pm! |
|
01 Nov 00 - 12:37 PM (#332003) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Little Hawk My guess, Matt, is that it would be more fun for you than for the hedgehog... Now, the chicken. It is my belief, after long and judicious consideration, that the chicken crossed the road....in one sense, merely to get to the other side, but that only begins to answer the question, and only in the most superficial sense. The real answer may be approached by giving consideration to the deep underlying malaise of our times, that sense of disconnection and rootlessness that has sprung up in the wake of the nuclear family, the 2-car garage, the TV and the Nintendo game. Indeed, the chicken crossed the road precisely because of that sense of disease that leads one to believe that "the grass is greener on the other side", when in fact it may not be. The only way to find out, however, is to look, and a mere look may not be enough. It may be necessary to actually take off one's shoes (not a problem for a chicken) and do a full scale wallow in the grass on the other side in order to become fully appraised of its relative merits vis-a-vis the grass on the first side, if you follow me. There are, of course, hazards involved in "crossing the road", such as getting run over. The chicken may never make it. Only the bold, clearly are willing to challenge the status quo and risk all by pressing on, despite the dangers involved, not least of which is ostracism by those who would prefer to simply perk or simmer in their chosen pot of indifference and conformity. Let us hope that the chicken does indeed make it across, and confronts the full reality of the "other side" with all its possibilities of both heartbreak and redemption, a "chicken" at last, not in the colloquial sense of "coward", but in the avian and heroic sense of "Bird". I trust this answer will suffice. - LH |
|
01 Nov 00 - 01:36 PM (#332048) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Jim Krause Why did the chicken cross the road? Where I come from, we say it was to prove to the armadillo that it could be done. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 01:40 PM (#332049) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: GUEST,Matt_R Bill Clinton's answer: "Define 'the'". |
|
01 Nov 00 - 02:52 PM (#332105) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Jeri Martha Stewart: Obviously the chicken was dissatisfied with the drabness of its own little plot of earth. Look there - see the scratched up brown earth and dilapidated coop? I don't even want to mention that wire enclosure! On the other hand, we can see that the property owners accross the road have done some lovely landscaping. There's a luxuriously green hill over there, and a rather quaint picket fence. Oh, and doesn't that labrador retriever look just perfect,although a bit hungry, and...oops... And now I'd like to share my recipe for easy chicken soup. Sorry it wasn't political, but...oh yeah - Ross Perot: "Stop asking me these chicken questions!!! Do I look like Frank Perdue?!?!" ...to record with the Chieftans? |
|
01 Nov 00 - 05:28 PM (#332215) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Little Hawk The real question is, why did the road submit to being crossed in the first place? |
|
01 Nov 00 - 05:45 PM (#332224) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: kendall because roads have always been kept down |
|
01 Nov 00 - 05:52 PM (#332232) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Hollowfox For a nonpartisain answer, see "Why the Chicken Crossed the Road" by David Macaulay, Houghton Mifflin, 1987. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 07:32 PM (#332328) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Ely I used to have a whole list of answers. The only ones I can remember are these: Timothy Leary: It was the only trip the establishment would let it take. Colonel Sanders: What, I missed one?! |
|
01 Nov 00 - 08:09 PM (#332368) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Clifton53 JACK KEROUAC- The chicken was mad baby, mad for the hot tar tug on his feet and mad for the waving wheat weed cover on the other side and mad to FEEL the blast roman-candle freedom of crossing that 'ol road and getting further down that pathway to the righteous black jazz blown heart of this great country and like what 'Ol Bull Lee calls the "grey dawning of his soul"!!!! Clifton |
|
01 Nov 00 - 08:31 PM (#332392) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: sophocleese For an indepth look not at the 'why' but of the 'how' the chickens crossed the road you could read Terry Pratchet's short story of The Hollywood Chickens. |
|
01 Nov 00 - 10:14 PM (#332449) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll This is actualy a two-part question The first part: Why? The ability to question ones place in the grand scheme of nature and to feel the frustrations of thinking the summit has been reached where all will be made clear only to find even greater and loftier questions beyond; the need to press on in this seemly ceaseless and hopeless endevor; the ability and NEED to ask why is that which separates us from the lower animals and is a query of such deep philosophical import that it needs to be discussed elsewhere. The second part of the question; did the chicken cross the road? Yes! I hope this clears up any confusion some of you may have had. troll |
|
02 Nov 00 - 04:44 AM (#332572) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler It's obvious: to go to the headless parakeet concert. RtS |
|
02 Nov 00 - 10:13 AM (#332717) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: GUEST,cal To get the the other side and prove to the fox that it could be done. cal |
|
02 Nov 00 - 11:07 AM (#332758) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: GUEST,Bucky Katt Troll - You made the statement: "the ability and NEED to ask why is that which separates us from the lower animals". Fiddle faddle. As a cat, your superior in every sense, I can assure you that it is you humans who are among the "lower" animals. No doubt about that. We cats don't ask "why" because we already KNOW why. You guys are pretty pompous referring to yourselves as MudCATTers, I must say. Where do you get off adopting the name of a higher animal? Ha! I spray contemptuously in your general direction. Who needs your silly forum anyway? The chicken didn't cross the road, because I ate it. And it was fun, I can tell you. - Bucky |
|
02 Nov 00 - 11:12 AM (#332763) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Mooh ...cause it couldn't get off the rooster's member. (Blame the rooster, the meaning of the sexual revolution.) Stir the pot, stir the pot. Mooh. |
|
02 Nov 00 - 12:15 PM (#332825) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: sledge Clucked if I know |
|
02 Nov 00 - 12:19 PM (#332829) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: mousethief Obviously it was a chicken Anglican priest, blessing the road on the annual Anglican day of road-blessing, St. Tarmac's Day, November 22nd.
Alex |
|
02 Nov 00 - 12:26 PM (#332833) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: catspaw49 Ya' know Michael, when you ran Part One of this thread, I parodied a few 'Catters as a Mudcat version and I thought I'd include a few newer ones. After reading the replies of some of them here, I see they've done it themselves. Spaw |
|
02 Nov 00 - 12:37 PM (#332838) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: McGrath of Harlow The real question is, who built that road across the place where the chickens have always walked?...In other words, why did the road cross the chicken? |
|
02 Nov 00 - 12:42 PM (#332841) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Matt_R I thought the concept behind "chicken" was to STAY on the road? |
|
02 Nov 00 - 12:44 PM (#332845) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Bill D because the grass in greener? Paradigm Chicken crossing road I guess chickens, as a class, are just never satified. |
|
03 Nov 00 - 01:01 AM (#333329) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Little Hawk Unlike women, who are always satisfied, right? :-) |
|
03 Nov 00 - 09:35 PM (#334161) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: P05139 Watch it Little Hawk!! |
|
03 Nov 00 - 09:45 PM (#334168) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Bill D well....women who know ME seem to be satisfied...*BG*.... |
|
03 Nov 00 - 09:47 PM (#334170) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll Bucky, of course cats "KNOW". They "KNOW" that they have to have humans around because, to date, no one has invented a can-opener that can be operated by paws. We'll call outselves whatever we darn well please and you'll put up with it or there'll be no Friskies Turkey & Giblet dinner in the dish tonight. troll...who has opposable thumbs |
|
04 Nov 00 - 09:24 AM (#334388) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Uncle_DaveO That's "apposable", not "opposable". Dave Pedant Oesterreich |
|
04 Nov 00 - 11:49 AM (#334439) Subject: RE: BS: Why Did The Chicken Cross The Rd - Pt 2 From: Troll Dave, acording to my dictionary, 'appose' means to place two objects near or next to each other while 'oppose' means to act against. My thumbs are capable of acting 'against' my fingers. I stand by my original usage. troll |