BS: Tilting penguins

02 Nov 00 - 07:37 AM (#332623)
Subject: Tilting penguins
From: sledge

In todays Daily Telegraph, the leading egde of science

BRITISH scientists are heading for the South Atlantic in an attempt to disprove claims that penguins fall over backwards when aircraft fly overhead.
Royal Navy and RAF pilots have been bringing back reports of toppling penguins since the Falklands War in 1982. The flightless birds are said to be so mesmerized by helicopters and jets that they lose their balance as they attempt to keep track of them.
Dr Richard Stone, of the British Antarctic Survey, will spend four weeks videoing helicopters from the ice patrol ship Endurance as they buzz colonies of King Penguins on the island of South Georgia to discover what effect they have. Stuart Matthews, operations officer of the Endurance, believes the reports. He said: "The penguins always look up at the helicopters and follow them all the way until they fall over backwards."
But Dr Stone was more sceptical. He said: "I'm afraid it's an urban myth. Aircraft do have an effect on penguins, but not to the extent of birds falling over.
"The intention of the work is to discover if overflights can harm colonies at breeding time. The tourism trade is growing on South Georgia and we want to ensure that the effects are understood."
It is believed that penguins react to aircraft because they see them as possible predators. They have been known to run from low-flying planes, and minimum altitudes are already recommended.
Endurance's two Lynx helicopters will fly at altitudes between 1,500ft and 6,000ft over breeding grounds, using different approach patterns. The expedition will take advantage of the benign Antarctic summer. Experiments will continue next year with fixed-wing aircraft.
South Georgia, once home to a thriving whaling station but now with only two or three permanent residents, is becoming popular with adventure seekers.

Once this popular "urban myth" has been fully explored, what next? What scientific breakthrough would Mudcaters call for to be investigated next.

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02 Nov 00 - 07:43 AM (#332625)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: magician

The RAF have Penguin standing up squads to check on the penguins that have fallen over on their backs because some of them can't get up again.

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02 Nov 00 - 08:32 AM (#332655)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: MMario

this looks like a "Song Challenge" topic!

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02 Nov 00 - 08:38 AM (#332660)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Lena

Bah.

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02 Nov 00 - 08:40 AM (#332662)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Mooh

The Penguin Book of Antarctic Folk Songs.

The Antarctic Book Of Penguin Folk Songs.

I feel a comedy routine coming on...

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02 Nov 00 - 08:53 AM (#332667)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: A Wandering Minstrel

So I'm here on me back on the ice
Though the sun on me tum is quite nice
Cos that bloody jet plane
has flown over again
And some days they're doing it twice

:P

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02 Nov 00 - 10:07 AM (#332713)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: catspaw49

Maybe the English government can use some of those planes designed by using the Frisbee that we developed over here. I mean if you're going to piss away money............

Its nice to know there are other governments outside the US who will drop big bucks on semi-ludicrous crappola.

Spaw

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02 Nov 00 - 10:51 AM (#332748)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Bill D

I propose we fund only music-related projects.....like:

DOES your chewing gum lose it's flavor on the bedpost overnight?

(Watched Little Roy Lewis of the Lewis Family gospel group do a test once....at Winfield festival, they appeared Friday night, and after the first song, Dad Lewis motioned at Roy and said something....and Roy looked sheepish and took a wad of chewing gum out of his mouth....and walked over and stuck it on a post holding up the stage roof. 2 more days of music................then Sunday evening, the Lewis family did their last set, waved goodbye and trooped off the stage....and Roy ran back on, reached up, and retrieved his gum and 'seemed' to stick it back in his mouth!......All rehearsed sthick, no doubt, but there were enough who got it to make the whole think worthwhile.)

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02 Nov 00 - 11:04 AM (#332755)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: mousethief

On my back again
To the tune of "On the Road Again"

On my back again
Here I am I'm on my back again
The bloody British fly so slowly I must look
So here I am, I'm on my back again

On my back again
Like a band of bell-hops we stand on the ice floe
We're all curious gents
Inspecting anything that's flying our way
And quickly
We're on our backs again

On our backs again
The whole flock is on our backs again
We roll our eyes up when those planes go flying by
So sure enough, we're on our backs again

(repeat either chorus and verse ad ifinitum, and fade)

©2000 Alex E Riggle. All Rights Reserved.

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Alex
O..O
=o=

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02 Nov 00 - 11:19 AM (#332784)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: MMario

Oh Prince of Mouse-thieves, bless your lyric writing heart!

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03 Nov 00 - 04:52 AM (#333376)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Liz the Squeak

I tried for ages to think of something for this, but it defies even MY warped perception. How about giving them all baseball caps with hard peaks, so that when they fall over, the peak will hit the ground first and make them roll over onto their fronts, from where they can get up again......?

How about we all start taking the medication again......!!

LTS

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03 Nov 00 - 06:35 AM (#333397)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Steve Parkes

Which of the seventeen tunes i now called "On the road again" did you have in mind, Alex?


Why don't polar bears eat penguins? (Remeber, you'll need to explain it to the folks across the pond!)

Steve

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03 Nov 00 - 06:47 AM (#333402)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: MartinRyan

I love the assumption that the cap will be worn with the peak at the back (and the beak at he front?)...

Regards

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03 Nov 00 - 07:18 AM (#333412)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Troll

Because the feathers tickle their tonsils?
Actually, they probably would if they lived in the same hemi-sphere. The northernmost range of the penguin in the wild is(I think)in the Galapagos Islands. I'm SURE someone will correct me if I'm wrong.

troll

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03 Nov 00 - 08:50 AM (#333454)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

I think the answer Steve was hoping for is:"Because they can't get the silver paper off".
RtS (worn out old jokes revived, condition immaterial, we have no shame)

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03 Nov 00 - 10:50 AM (#333541)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Steve Parkes

The man in the drainpipe trousers is correct!!

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03 Nov 00 - 11:11 AM (#333566)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Troll

So. Which one of us is THAT?

troll...who wishes someone would explain the "silver paper" thingy.

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03 Nov 00 - 11:24 AM (#333580)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: sledge

Penguin, British chocolate covered buscuit (cookie)

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03 Nov 00 - 11:28 AM (#333586)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

Over here in the UK a Penguin is a chocolate covered biscuit (other threads refer). On another thread Steve accused me of still wearing flared trousers, I responded by saying I still wore drainpipe trousers (it's a 1950's thing!). It sounds better in dialect (don't get us started on THAT!)
RtS

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03 Nov 00 - 11:43 AM (#333601)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Ebbie

Come to think, I'm surprised that some enterprising government types haven't years ago introduced a colony of penguins into Alaska while ferrying polar bears to Antarctica. We've done just about everything else.

By the way, just what are the predators at the Antarctic? And why would penguins identify anything from the sky as predatorial? Perhaps birds after their eggs?

Eb

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03 Nov 00 - 11:47 AM (#333608)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: MMario

gulls and terns- prey on eggs and chicks.

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03 Nov 00 - 11:54 AM (#333617)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Troll

The Antarctic predators are Leopard seals.Farther north you might have Frigate birds and other avian predators. The deep-diving penguins can see them on the surface as they return from dives. An object on the surface in clear water looks like it's floating in the sky so thats a possible answer.
Thanks RtS. "Drainpipe" trousers are(I guess) what we call "stovepipe" over here, so my question was valid after all.

troll

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03 Nov 00 - 12:13 PM (#333632)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: mousethief

The one by Willie Nelson.

Alex
O..O
=o=

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03 Nov 00 - 01:22 PM (#333695)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: GUEST,Den at work

Sorry couldn't resist. To the tune of Barrets Privateers.

Well here I lie on the ground again
How I wish I was in the north pole now
When a bloody great jet roared overhead
I heard the noise and I raised me head
God damn then all down I fell
Me dressed up in the suit as well
If I had a hat I could roll on me chest
Now me arse is froze and I'n half deaf I hate that bloody RAF.

Den

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03 Nov 00 - 01:31 PM (#333700)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: annamill

Ya know, 'spaw, I'd rather they use the money and planes for this cause than what they're meant to be used for. Poor lil birds!

L., A.

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03 Nov 00 - 02:42 PM (#333761)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Robby

You don't suppose they're actually referring to the hockey team in Pittsburgh, do you? That might explain some recent seasons.

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03 Nov 00 - 02:49 PM (#333773)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Kim C

Oh dear. There's a penguin on the television set.

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03 Nov 00 - 02:55 PM (#333788)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: mousethief

Perhaps it flew up there.

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03 Nov 00 - 04:57 PM (#333921)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: MMario

Mr. Popper had penguins.

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03 Nov 00 - 05:15 PM (#333939)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Linda Kelly

Surely if they were kitted out with stilleto heels this would counter balance the effect causing them naturally to lean forward - of course after a night on the cap this may result in them falling flat on their fronts rather than their backs (gosh my youth is flooding back!)????

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03 Nov 00 - 09:28 PM (#334156)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: P05139

I reckon that all this is cruelty to dumb animals!!

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04 Nov 00 - 03:45 AM (#334305)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Liz the Squeak

Put penguins in stilletoes and a) they would sink anyway, stilletoes being notorious for going through holes in the road, linoleum, soft surfaces (once walked around for half the day with a doggie doo impaled upon one of my 5 inch spike heels..... guess why I gave up wearing them!!), so that wouldn't help, and b) their eggs would roll off their toes and would never hatch....

And I thought that polar bears didn't eat penguins because the chocolate was so hard to wash out of their fur.....

LTS

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04 Nov 00 - 04:26 AM (#334319)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: sledge

If the penguins do indeed fall over, then maybe the fitting of a circular foam pad around their nest would help. Upon falling over they would bounce back up, disconcerting at first maybe, but I am sure they would soon get used to it.

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04 Nov 00 - 11:17 AM (#334430)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Troll

sledge, you need to get more sleep. And switch to de-caf.

troll ***BG***

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04 Nov 00 - 11:54 AM (#334441)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Quincy

On tv's "Have I got news for you" last night Paul Merton suggested that the little guys had foam trousers for them to wear to bounce back?

See Troll, sledge's idea wasn't so strange after all!! ;-)
These foam trousers would however interfere with their fishing expeditions as the foam would make their poor little bottoms float to the top!!!

Yes I know.....I need more sleep and de-caff too!!!!

Sledge....did you see the programme? Headline of course....Ppppppick up a Penguin!!!

best wishes, Yvonne

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05 Nov 00 - 02:25 AM (#334963)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: sledge

Quincy, couldn't see the show unfortunately but thanks for endorsing the idea, I only put it foreward with the animals best interest at heart.

Troll, I refuse to even acknowledge the possibilty of life without caffiene.

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05 Nov 00 - 07:09 AM (#335003)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: magician

de-caf? how does anyone get through the day without regular doses of good strong freshground coffee.

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05 Nov 00 - 07:14 AM (#335005)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: magician

penguins

the RAF chopper crews have a weekly competition to see who can knock over the most penguins. the take photos after every pass then count the number on their back. the winning crew gets the crate of beer. it's good to see them keeping up the British Forces will known sense of loonacy.

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06 Nov 00 - 05:08 PM (#335482)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Linda Kelly

Oh my God!- you don't suppose the RAF did a fly past over Clarence House on Friday causing the Queen Mum (God bless her) to look up and then topple back causing her unfortunate accident????!!!??

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06 Nov 00 - 05:30 PM (#335491)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Linda Kelly

i apologise (under duress from my husband)for the tastelessness of the previous remark). But.. all I know is that if my mum had had a fall and she lived 30 miles up the road, then it might have taken me a little less time than a whole weekend before I visited her, whether or not I was the Queen of bloody England or not!I also might have raised my profile in those areas devastated by floods rather than sitting in my ivory tower. long live the republic! (I beleive i might have crept somewhat threadwise that is!)

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06 Nov 00 - 05:42 PM (#335501)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Quincy

Noooooooo you're not thread creeping Ickle!
We'll find a connection somewhere....um...Queen Mother....er....royal family...yes got it!!

Original posting....it's "King" Penguins that are falling over!!!....

Yvonne ;)

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06 Nov 00 - 05:45 PM (#335503)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Kim C

It is now time for the penguin on your television set to explode.

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06 Nov 00 - 06:07 PM (#335513)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Homeless

Maybe the fact that the planes are so high is the problem. If they fly at a lower altitude and faster then the penguins will move so quick that they'll just do a flip and end up back on their feet - problem solved.

Or if that doesn't work, they could be supplied with The Wrong Trousers and just have a button programmed to stand them back up.

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06 Nov 00 - 11:30 PM (#335738)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: sophocleese

Can't we just tilt the whole landmass so that they slide out into the sea and can then climb out again onto their feet? Maybe if we time the tilt properly one of the planes will crash into the side of the continent, removing its nuisance value and, umm, levelling the playing field.

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07 Nov 00 - 06:22 AM (#335838)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: sian, west wales

I've a friend who did two tours with the British Antarctic Survey team (mad, they're all mad) and says that penguins certainly do topple. And scoring in the game with 'choppers - see Magician above - is a lot more difficult than doing it with jets ... speed helps, so the 'chopper crews have to rely on technique ...

Get a life, boys.

sian

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07 Nov 00 - 08:25 AM (#335869)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Dave the Gnome

Ever since our club residents started singing 'Penguin Eggs' (The song that is - I had to explain or someone was bound to ask how can you sing eggs....) some years ago we have become inundated with all manner of toy/stuffed/plastic penguins. And I'm sure the little buggers are breeding - every time I open up the folk club 'bits box' there are more of them!

Maybe as part of the Manchester Mudcatters get-togther we cam do a study on how much Robinson's ale it takes to make a penguin look like it has fallen over:-)

D the G

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07 Nov 00 - 10:56 AM (#335965)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Grab

It'd be interesting if they did think of them as predators. The main penguin-eating things are seals and killer whales, and the thought of a flying killer whale is not something I can sustain for very long. Mind you, I doubt they could sustain it very long - cue either Monty Python's sheep ("Note that they do not so much fly, as plummet"), or HHGTTG ("Ooh, that looks awfully big. I think I'll call it 'ground'. It seems to be coming towards me quite fast. I wonder if it'll be friends with me?").

Grab.

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07 Nov 00 - 11:05 AM (#335973)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: MMario

the main predator of ADULT penguins are whales and seals. The main predators of EGGS and CHICKS are gulls and terns - who can devastate a rookery

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07 Nov 00 - 11:05 AM (#335974)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Grab

A Dylan-ish Watchtower-ish contribution to the musical effort:-

"There must be some way up from here,"
Said the penguin to his mate.
"I keep looking up at airplanes,
Seems it may be a mistake."

"Same thing happens to me too.
When I lean back, my feet lose their hold.
There are many here among us
Whose backs are getting rather cold."

All along the iceflow,
Capsized penguins did roll.
As they got up, another plane approached them.
The stunned, bruised penguins groaned.

Grab.

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07 Nov 00 - 11:46 AM (#336013)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Noreen

Wonderful thread!! I've been giggling happily to myself here, unlike the poor wee penguins- but they're resilient!

Dave tg- count me in for the study. Photos posted in Mudcat Resources later...

Noreen

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07 Nov 00 - 03:18 PM (#336143)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Bernard

All my mates around are raring to go I'm waiting here on this ice floe I hate to wake you up, you'd punch my eye Now the dawn is breaking, it's early morn The planes are flying towards Cape Horn Already I'm so frozen I could die

I'm peeping at a jet plane I've fallen on my back again Oh, what a way to go!

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07 Nov 00 - 03:24 PM (#336148)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Bernard

Sorry! Forgot about the pesky BR's!

All my mates around are raring to go
I'm waiting here on this ice floe
I hate to wake you up, you'd punch my eye
Now the dawn is breaking, it's early morn
The planes are flying towards Cape Horn
Already I'm so frozen I could die

I'm peeping at a jet plane
I've fallen on my back again
Oh, what a way to go!

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08 Nov 00 - 12:06 AM (#336479)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Art Thieme

I'd like to remind y'all that when Admiral Byrd saw his first penguin he said, "What an admirable bird."

Art Thieme

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08 Nov 00 - 01:34 PM (#336750)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: BillR

Ok, it's not about penguins falling over, and I didn't write it. But my favorite song about penguins seems appropriate for this thread. It's called Penguin Lust.

-Bill

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09 Nov 00 - 12:12 PM (#337147)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: A Wandering Minstrel

Excellent Steve Bell cartoon in Todays Guardian depicts shifty-looking penguin on street as a policeman passes behind him, over he goes, then Policeman invites him to "blow into the bag sir?"

Laughed out loud on the 7-45 to Paddington (Very bad form dont-you-know?)

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09 Nov 00 - 12:33 PM (#337165)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Troll

BillR, Remember Opus? Penguin Lust! ROTFLMAO!

troll

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09 Nov 00 - 10:49 PM (#337594)
Subject: RE: BS: Tilting penguins
From: Little Hawk

I MISS OPUS! Remember when Bill & Opus ran for president and vice president under the slogan "This Time Why Not The Worst?" God, I miss those days!!!

Now, I wonder if the British were to hover directly overhead with a helicopter if the penguins would start watching the rotor blades and end up screwing themselves right into the ice pack? Someone should try it and see.

Penguin lust?

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