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08 Dec 00 - 12:51 PM (#353749) Subject: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Let me welcome you ,if I may, to Ye Olde Englishe Inne, nestled soft in the heart of the green rolling hills of Hampshire where time has stood still since 5.15 this afternoon. It is Friday and not just any Friday, since from today Morticia is on holiday until the hangovers of the New Year have departed( about the middle of January ,give or take a week). She is joyous mood and bids her friends join her in seasonal song and merriment………
Morticia wanders into the Mudcat Arms and calls out in her best 'summoning the bar staff' voice," Ho, there Barkeep, a large gin and tonic and one for yourself"! A vision of unloveliness appears before her in the shape of a begrimed and aged old fellow with a scowl that could singe asbestos. " 'Ere" says he, in sulky tones as he draws the required nectar from the optic " aren't you one of them there folk singing types what woz 'ere last week and caterwauling fit to make my head 'urt?"
" Yes indeed," she says with a grin , not entirely free of malice " and so welcoming were you, (aside from that amusing jape with the fire extinguisher which was purely in high spirits, I am sure) that I have come as the advance guard of the Mudcat Pre-Festive Celebration Party.
"What?" said the aged one with a look of horror, " you mean there's going to be more of you?" " Yeah verily," quoth Morticia, who was known to get biblical when excited or drunk " lots, I hope…..singers, guitarists, banjo players, bodrhans……even tiples mayhap…Why, elderly barperson…..what ails you?" she said anxiously. With a soft sigh, mine Host sank into a faint, knocking over a jar of pickled eggs in his slow descent to the sticky, beer-puddled floor. " Bugger" said Morticia, as the aroma of vinegar wafts round the pub " I suppose that means I'm pouring my own." |
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08 Dec 00 - 01:08 PM (#353758) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert And if this ancient edifice is anywhere close to Alton you can pour me a pint of John Courage while you're behind the bar there Morti me luv. |
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08 Dec 00 - 01:08 PM (#353759) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario From just outside the strains of "A HedgeHog carol" rise to the skies as a Picking himself up and brushing crumbs of vinager smelling ruptured egg from his jacket he finally makes it to the bar. "I'm American," he says blithely. "Or should I say UnitedStatesian. Don't blame Canada."
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08 Dec 00 - 01:34 PM (#353771) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson "OH THERE'S SOBER MEN AND PLENTY, AND DRUNKARDS BARELY TWENTY, THERE'S MEN OF OVER NINETY, WHO HAVE NEVER YET KISSED A GIRL. BUT GIVE ME A RAMBLING ROVER, FROM ORKNEY DOWN TO DOVER, WE'LL ROAM THE COUNTRY OVER AND TOGETHER WE'LL FACE THE WORLD!" What ho! Mortee-landlady! I see the old codger who should be serving drinks is hiding under the table. Can ye just pull me a nice sweet ale? You know, I wouldn't have stumbled coming into this place if someone hadn't stepped on my hand! |
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08 Dec 00 - 02:19 PM (#353806) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bat Goddess "Well, old friend, fancy meeting you here, of all places," sez she at the end of the bar swilling an Old Peculiar, and not her first one, either, before she chimed in on the shouted finale (to "Sober Men and Plenty") of "Up she flew and the cock flattened her!" |
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08 Dec 00 - 02:40 PM (#353816) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Hey BG, was it you who stepped on my hand as I crawled into this place? Can't stay too long. It's the day I am supposed to stir up my XMAS PUD and tomorrow I am a-steamin'. Pull another sweet light ale! No, none of that black bitter stuff for me. |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:14 PM (#353828) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bat Goddess Oops, sorry about that. I thought it was the pub cat. |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:24 PM (#353833) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen OK Mortie, I've just helped Mein Host up to bed... ... so the drinks are on the house! Whisky and ginger for me please for the cold evening. Hey- this could be the start of a right rolicking good night... or so... |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:25 PM (#353834) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario I left my hart; in Sam Clam's Dis....Dis...(hic)sco! 999 thousand 999 bottles of beer on the wall! 999 thousand 9 hundead and noine! If I drink one of those bottles and it tastes really fine, 9 hundred and ninety nine thousand and nine hundred and ninety eight bottles to go! Does anyone know how I got here? I was at work, I think I was at work. Or was that last year? No, I was at work and next thing I know I'm here. I am here? Here I am.
I There was a white duck on the way here, with a bill. Duck bills feel kinda funny y'know, sorta like bone, but softer? I'm a widdle light duck, swinging in the water, A widdle light duck, doin' a termater; took a bite of the lily pad, threw it up then I said...I said... AM I where I was when I thought I was here? |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:36 PM (#353840) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson He makes perfect sense to me! Now that's worrisome. |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:36 PM (#353841) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Amergin Hallo!!! I'll wander in for a bit....I have something of my own to celebrate today!!!! I just found out that my seemingly endless string of dead end jobs is ending!!! I start a job doing computer technical support on January 2nd!!!! Amerginwhoisveryexcited! |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:38 PM (#353842) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario DRINKS ON BERT'S CREDIT CARD FOR THE HOUSE! [congrats to AMergin!] |
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08 Dec 00 - 03:49 PM (#353847) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Kim C Whiskey Cat needs a triple Bushmills so she can start drinking her way through the holidays. And a Macanudo. Thanks. |
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08 Dec 00 - 04:03 PM (#353853) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Jim Krause WELL, I CAME HOME THE OTHER NIGHT DRUNK AS I COULD BE... And who should stumble in but that infamous wastrel Chester Drawers. "What this place needs in some good ol' time country fiddlin' an' I need another pint o' yer best stout ta keep mah bowin' arm good an' oiled up. HOT DAWG!" |
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08 Dec 00 - 04:07 PM (#353856) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert Amergin, I don't know whether to congratulate your or not, I worked in tech support for many years. It's one of the worlds most stressful jobs, one survey rated it higher than air traffic control. So best of flipping. BTW, I've got this neat little program that will quickly find answers in your technical database. Send me a PM if you're interested. And my glass is empty. Let's have a refill. Got any 'arras' behind the bar there Morti? Who's up for 501? |
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08 Dec 00 - 04:30 PM (#353862) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario tech support stressful? nah. no way. |
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08 Dec 00 - 04:47 PM (#353865) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Where IS Mortee? She started this party and then wandered off. Check under the tables. Maybe she's in with the landlord. Don't check in there. Give the poor old guy some privacy. Hope she don't kill him with passion. Someone hand me a guitar. It must be time for music. I'm minded of an old story I read recently of a shipmate on a square rigger in the last days of sail. On the first evening in the foc'sle he pulled a fiddle out of his seachest. The rest of the watch looked on with approval. Then the old geezer started to saw away at it without any knowledge of tuning or playing, just screeching and squawking the bow across the strings. They begged him not to play but he just smiled and kept on. They had too much respect for personal property to throw thaat fiddle overboard so faced with a long sea voyage and that awful noise one of the watch snuck in and waxed the strings. When he next pulled out the instrument he found it wouldn't play. They told him the humidity was doing it and he'd be all right when they got to Australia in three months time. Where's that guitar? |
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08 Dec 00 - 05:06 PM (#353869) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen She's gone to fetch some more pickled eggs! |
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08 Dec 00 - 05:07 PM (#353870) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Right lads and ladesses, I'm pouring as fast as I can.I was down in the cellar putting on another barrel of Old and Nasty and bringing up more pickled eggs ( but I feel better now thanks).I'm glad you took the landlord off to bed, I stood on his face four times! Bert dearest, if you must play darts can you at least check the acupuncture chart first and someone put MMario to bed, he's been chatting up the pub cat for an hour...and I think he's pulled! |
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08 Dec 00 - 07:30 PM (#353964) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: mousethief bringgers a pitcher of TNT's, if'y'pleash. Heavy on the lime. |
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08 Dec 00 - 07:40 PM (#353972) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MAG (inactive) Oh, Goody, a party; just what I need. I think we all do. I brought my own bottle of Hennesseys and am willing to share. At UU choir practice last nite we were oiling up all our songs about the celebrations of the universal birth of the universal child, Mother Earth giving birth to the New Year, etc etc. We went way over. Tonight I have book group, and tomorrow the band plays the dance. I am UP for a virtual party. Can any of you fellows waltz? er, can any of you fellows stand up on your own? |
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08 Dec 00 - 08:15 PM (#353979) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC Can I get a gin and tonic in this place? I've brought two accordions in case anyone needs a spare. I've just returned from the photo shoot for the Mudcat nude calendar, so pardon my skimpy attire. |
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08 Dec 00 - 08:39 PM (#353982) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia ahhhh, I wondered how many would turn sans clothing....I of course am tastefully attired in my usual wetsuit with matching evening slippers and diamante tiara.....I can waltz Mag, but only if I can count as we dance. |
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08 Dec 00 - 09:51 PM (#354002) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Daughter of my dream, shine a guiding light for me...for I'll be here 'till light...whisper in the night...till she has forgiven me.... |
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08 Dec 00 - 10:04 PM (#354004) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Sorcha ooohwa la, are the arms light, heavy or pole? Perhaps snuggly arms? I could use snuggly arms.......in lieu of that perhaps just a nice sweet Porter? Lay on there, ye with the arms.......... |
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08 Dec 00 - 10:21 PM (#354006) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario whaddya mean she's a cat! Thass an insullllllllt, I thinkk. She got the purtiest green eyes, and they tilt. I think she's oriental, maybe whatchamacallit, europeasian? And her hairs so soft... Not much of a talker tho, just sorta hummmmmmmmmsssss aat me... |
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08 Dec 00 - 10:26 PM (#354007) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Amergin Never figured you liked cats that much, MMario.... BTW thanks all for the congrats and such....and, Bert, my girlfriend works there too and she really likes it...It's one of those places that train you...I always figured you to be a techie... Amerginwhoisthinkingitisgoingtobeoddtobeworkingithhisbrainnothisbody
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08 Dec 00 - 10:49 PM (#354009) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: catspaw49 Ah Mort............Its been some times of late hasn't it? Draw me a tankard my dear. and now, if I can get Bert to retrieve his fockin' dart from my ass, I retire to the corner booth to watch the action and hope for some myself.............. Spaw |
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08 Dec 00 - 10:51 PM (#354011) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Amergin Uh, Spaw, why is his dart in your ass? Does karen know about this? |
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08 Dec 00 - 11:06 PM (#354013) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Sorcha We playing Ass Darts now? Well, you are all safe from me--I can't hit a wall from 5 paces. Pull me another, there, Mortee, I just been to Flanders Field, Hiroshima and Saigon. If every tear were a diamond.......I would be a Queen. More beer for me and my friends! A round on me, here, you old bartender! Git outta the sack, and send some 'round, now!! (Please?) |
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09 Dec 00 - 07:18 AM (#354045) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Ah, I need some crying whiskey for I have received bad news. A friend lies dying of cancer and his wife, my other dear friend is alone with tht burden. They are many miles away and I can do nothing but stand by the phone. |
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09 Dec 00 - 07:25 AM (#354050) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Oh Brett, I'm so sorry.....we have all had such a horrible time just recently.....I think a round of whisky macs made to my own secret recipe on the house,maybe a few sad songs and a damn good blub....lets get it out of our systems and wait in here for a better new year. |
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09 Dec 00 - 07:49 AM (#354052) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC I'm sorry to hear about your friends' troubles, Naemanson. You can play my other accordion if you want... |
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09 Dec 00 - 09:19 AM (#354063) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: catspaw49 Hey Brett.....You know we're with you. Its hard to be in the position you find yourself.....been there, done that. All our best to your friends and to you. You are in our thoughts. Pat and Karen |
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09 Dec 00 - 11:01 AM (#354068) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Thanks guys. Sorry about raining on a party. |
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09 Dec 00 - 02:14 PM (#354098) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Fibula Mattock Naemanson, play us a song to take away your troubles, for I'm sorry to hear of that unkind news. And may I offer everyone a pint of Smithwicks, this being a pub with a select international clientele, and one where I can hopefully get PROPER beer, and not this oul' English Real Ale shite. |
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09 Dec 00 - 03:10 PM (#354129) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Hey, Fib.Mat., Shite is what you WILL do if you drink bloody Smithwicks !!! both long and often, it gave me a spectacular case of the fizzy trots once, and I stayed away from it since, Really, what came out FIZZED But enough scatology Barkeep a round for my friends and glass of "my special winter warmer" over here, 1/2 a pint(UK) of dry strong cide(NOT Diamond White) and a large glass of green ginger wine, mixed, tastes WONDERFUL...but after 2 there is NO pain... after 3 NO feeling ... and after that catatonia... a mirror to check that I am still breathing may be required after that.. but it keeps out the cold... and a pint of Youngs "Winter Warmer" for my friend Morty.. "Come, fill the cup, what boots it to repeat That time is slipping underneath our feet Unborn tomorrow and dead yesterday Why fret about them if TODAY be sweet" |
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09 Dec 00 - 03:24 PM (#354132) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Fibula Mattock Micca! It's a well known fact that young ladies like myself do not have any such nauseating bodily functions, and if they did, they would all smell of rose petals. I like the sound of that cider thing though. Be merry, my friends, be merry... |
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09 Dec 00 - 05:36 PM (#354167) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson I'd love to sit and sing and drink away my troubes but I have to go run my coffeehouse. We have an all open mike night and I have to get there early to bar the door to keep out the rockers who want to invade our inner sanctum with their amps and power cords and chords. Enjoy the evening! Brett |
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09 Dec 00 - 06:37 PM (#354182) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: T in Oklahoma (Okiemockbird) In sulks an Oklahoman in a tattered cloak, carrying a guitar case on his back and a Mt Dulcimer case in his hand Down with the OU Sooners! OSU forever! Go Nebraska! (Other Americans, at least, can probably guess why he's tattered and sulking) I need a big, frosty India pale ale.... |
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09 Dec 00 - 07:35 PM (#354205) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Death to all us rockers! I think I'll go do the world a favor and hang myself on my amp cord. |
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09 Dec 00 - 07:39 PM (#354207) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Well, a big pint of Smithwicks coming Fibs way if she insists and an IPA to those who drink real beer.It's getting late and I know people are kind of tired...so I put the lights down low and draw the red velvet cutains to hide the bleak rainy night although you can still hear it in the quiet interludes....... It's kind of hushed now.....'Spaw and Bert are having a discussion regarding the merits of throwing darts without any kind of skill, MMario and the cat have gone off to a place they can be alone, Carol is softly playing her other accordian and Morticia is singing " DFour and twenty virgins came down from Inverness" in sepulcharal tones.The aroma of mashed pickled eggs still lingers and , in the still soft distance, church bells ring summoning the faithful to prayers.....IT MUST BE TIME FOR THE JELLO PIT!!!!!! |
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09 Dec 00 - 09:17 PM (#354226) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Dave Wynn Could I possibly have a bowl of water please and perhaps a pat or two....Maybe if things develop , a tune or song in the key of "just below dolphin" would let me really join in.....! It's hard bein' a dog... Spot |
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09 Dec 00 - 09:27 PM (#354230) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: catspaw49 Hey T!!!! C'mon over and drown your troubles with Bert and I. I'm glad to see you're an OSU fan......yyou DO mean OHIO State don't you? Oh............Oklahoma huh?....Ah that's OK, to coin a phrase...........Tell ya' what....Hang this dartboard on your ass. ............ Sure, go ahead.....It'll guarantee that Bert doesn't hit you with a dart............... Spaw |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:03 AM (#354288) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: katlaughing Tbird, nice to see ya! Brett, sorry to ehar about your friend, I've got a snugly hug for you when you come back from preserving acoustic music. Somebody check, please, to make sure that folker's being decent with the cat and this dog gets a pat from me, there, there, good fellah and a bowl of water, right quick, if you please, or it'll be the RSPCA I call! There, now that all's right with the critters, Micca, I'd like to try that brew of yours. I am fairly certain there is no possibility of my finding the ingredients in Wyoming, so it'll have to be tasty-time here or not at all. Drat! Mortee, m'darlin' doll, nice place you've set up, need a hand with anything? Sorch, didja bring yer fiddle, womon? |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:19 AM (#354295) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers All right, now, gather' round the pianner for a few English drinking rounds, sang (sung? singed?) in luscious four-part harmony...
1. Banbury ale Damn, rounds are always so hard to do when half the singers are passed out on the pedals... kimmers |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:24 AM (#354298) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers And would there be any Guinness, darlin'? Just a pint or two, or three. Oh, no, no pickled eggs, they make me belch horribly. MMario, dear, the cat's on the piano keys. And she's playin' better than me. Better retrieve her. |
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10 Dec 00 - 02:22 AM (#354325) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Troll From France we get brandy From Jamaica comes rum Sweet oranges and lemons from Portugal come But beer, ale, and cider Are Englands control Bring in the punch ladle We'll fathom the bowl. We'll fath... Sorry. I got carried away there. Carols accordian and attire...or lack of same. At any rate, ginger beer and a quiet corner'll do for me. Hallo Doc! Chase that cat off the piano and give us a tune. Ah...thankee luv. Have one yerself. Mario, still on yer feet? troll |
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10 Dec 00 - 02:54 AM (#354330) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak This "lady" has let me use her keyboard. I say "lady" but she sure as furballs don't smell like one, but anyway, she's let me use her letters tray because I have a few things on my um.... er. thingy. Firstly, if I find the bastard who stood on my tail as they came through my favourite staking out window, I shall crap in their boots. That's a nice ball of fluff, can I bat it around? Oh, no, it's one of those things they keep in a jar.... fart pills I think they were. Bast, but it's seen better days.... stinks like that tomcat three doors down, and his arse hasn't seen a tongue for months! Where was I? Oh yeah. First you use me as a rug - hey - that's what Dogs are for!! Then, I get my first chance of getting out of here for ages - OK, so I've smelt better things in my food bowl, but it was a chance. Mmmm food. that would be nice. I'll just eat these crunchy potato things..... Now what was I saying?? Oh yes, I was just about to give it the full blast of my gorgeous green eyes, when it did the brelp noise, and Bast, did it pong. I thought I'd die again..... Made my eyes go all funny, I could see both my noses.... In a bid to escape from that, I jumped onto the first thing I could see that wasn't one of my noses. Makes a nice noise doesn't it..... Do you have to keep feeding it that brown watery stuff, or would it like some crunchie num nums? Hey, what's this hole.... Mmmmmm, secret dark place..... hey I can get in it! Any spiders in here?? I love spiders, crunchy, juicy and a leg for everyone..... back in a bit. You in't seen me right? Queen Rathunter Magnifipaws III, aka Cooking Fat.
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10 Dec 00 - 03:05 AM (#354333) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Now that dam... delightful cat has disappeared, I can get on with ordering my drink... 1/2 pint of real ale - perchance some Badger best or the one with the duck on - into a pint mug please, and a bottle of ginger beer. Yes, a ginger beer shandy. No, don't put the ginger in first, it will go up like polaris...........! Anyone have a cloth? LTS |
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10 Dec 00 - 05:55 AM (#354357) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca Kimmers, just for you, here is a round, learned from the singing of AWOL, " I like spanking I like spanking Spanking Nuns Spanking Nuns I like spanking Dead nuns I like spanking Dead nuns Dead nuns Bums Dead nuns Bums
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10 Dec 00 - 07:30 AM (#354378) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Ah Matt, once again you've taken offense where none was meant. You don't know these guys, or the room we have to work with. The room is very lively acousticly. With one or two people present you could whisper in one corner and be heard everywhere. I run the sound system on the lowest settings and only run it up for those people I know do not (or can not) put out any sound on the stage. It is also there to give people a chance to experience a "professional" setting with mikes and audience and all. The "rockers" I refer to showed up one night with a pickup truck full of gear. It took them 45 minutes to get set up. I explained that they'd only get two song, that the room was not suited to loud music, that other people would be following them up on stage and we might have a full bill of ten acts to run through. They disregarded the whole spiel and went on to a full set up. They played their two songs and they were not good. I suppose technically they were OK but their performance was lifeless and dull. And though they reassured me that they were a quiet band they pinned the audience against the back wall. And then, after they cleared out all their equipment (1/2 hour process) the booked and didn't stick around to see the rest of the show. No support for the other acts. So if these are the guys to whom we say "Death to Rockers" I would agree. But you know me better than that, Matt. No blanket statements from me and no negative statement without my hearing the act first. We have since set a new all acoustic rule in the Mocha Cafe. I have the only sound system and if you don't want to plug into it then too bad. Sorry to get serious while at a party. Let's see, where was I? And how'd I get under this table? And why do I have an accordian in my arms? I don't know how to play an accordian. |
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10 Dec 00 - 11:45 AM (#354440) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia O.K ,so I wake up this morning looking and feeling like the Wrath of God, under a table, mouth full of furballs and cradling an accordian and, for some reason, a pickled egg.........ah, it must be Sunday. Kimmers and Micca are apparently launched into all 234 verses of Eskimo Nell and the dog seems to be a doing a damn fine job on harmony.....ah, must be the Mudcat Arms...ok, so I know where and I know when....now, who the hell am I? |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:07 PM (#354451) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson I roll over, away from the accordian, and into the arms of a very tousled looking Mortee. Now this is a vast improvement! But she pushes me away mumbling something about the "hair of the dog." Jealous, I go in search of Spot! |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:21 PM (#354456) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen ok troll... Come landlord fill the flowing bowl |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:38 PM (#354464) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca If I had another brick I'd build my chimney higher If I had another brick I'd build my chimney higher It would stop my neighbours cat It would stop my neighbours cat It would stop my neighbours cat From pissing in my fire micca |
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10 Dec 00 - 12:52 PM (#354471) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Brett & Mortie- the party's still going on here in the snug... Good dog, Spot. |
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10 Dec 00 - 01:00 PM (#354476) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Come on Brett, last one to down a pint of Old and Nasty is a sissy!.....erm, well actually, I think that might be me......perhaps first to down a pint of lemonade? |
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10 Dec 00 - 02:27 PM (#354519) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Stick 'em up punk, it's the fun-lovin' criminal! |
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10 Dec 00 - 02:52 PM (#354529) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Ah, there he is! Come here, boy, nice doggie, come on, just a little closer... Gotcha! OK, DOG! You and I are gonna have a little chat... So... what'cha drinkin'? Landlady! We'll take two of those here! Hell, I never could stay made at a dog. Must be the eyes. |
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10 Dec 00 - 04:27 PM (#354563) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers Oooh, my head, my head. And what's this pickled egg doing inside my guitar? And how do I get it out without getting egg salad? |
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10 Dec 00 - 04:53 PM (#354567) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Kimmers, if you work it just right you'll have sliced egg for a sandwich. Just wait till I force this dinner roll through my own guitar strings. Spot, quit lapping that drink like that! You're spilling as much as you're drinking. Ooops! My pudding is ready to come out of the steamer. Wish me luck on my culinary experiment! |
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10 Dec 00 - 05:21 PM (#354581) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Typical, I go away for the weekend and a huge party begins, practically on my doorstep. Seeing as today is my Birthday, I'm hoping I won't have to buy too many of my own drinks, but in the meantime I'll have a pint of a local ale, Ringwood Old Thumper will do nicely, and I'll toast Naemanson's pudding. I can't help noticing that everyone seems to be paying a lot more attention to boozing and chatting up cats than making music at present. |
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10 Dec 00 - 05:38 PM (#354589) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Happy Birthday Greyeyes.......and since it's your birthday, I'll buy the Old Thumper ( so named for it's headache giving qualities) and you can give us a song. |
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10 Dec 00 - 05:40 PM (#354591) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Hell, should have kept my mouth shut. Am I allowed to do something bawdy? |
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10 Dec 00 - 05:46 PM (#354594) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Allowed???It's been blooming compulsory! |
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10 Dec 00 - 05:51 PM (#354597) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes In which case, does everybody know the chorus to "The Harlot of Jerusalem"? |
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10 Dec 00 - 07:04 PM (#354636) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Dave Wynn Anybody want some hair..........I got plenty. Thanks for the pats and things. Could someone please give me some water or Andrews or Resolve. I just woke up and some human has crapped in my mouth. Thanks all. I am off home now to try and remember what Morticia was stroking last night!!! Tosp.... |
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10 Dec 00 - 10:01 PM (#354691) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Thanks for the toast to my pudding! I'm off to the Xmas Pud thread to post the dscription of the great event. Happy Birthday, Greyeyes. Once I get the chance among the others buying you drinks tonight we can put the rest of them on my tab. If you are of the female persuasion I'll offer you a big old snog. Ah, what the hell, here's a snog anyway. The pudding turned out great! |
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10 Dec 00 - 10:05 PM (#354692) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca "hey ho Cathusalem,Cathusalem, Cathusalem, hey ho Cathusalem the harlot of Jerusalem There lived a hero by the wall and tho he only had one ball........" |
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11 Dec 00 - 03:53 AM (#354757) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Gervase Pickled eggs for breakfast, lunch and tea - Jeez, what about the bloody ozone layer. Any more of that and the Oz catters will be roasted! Mine's a mother-in-law please - old and bitter. And Liz, if the cat's got furballs, he's a lucky little sausage. I'm freezing at the moment, and a bit more insulation darn there wouldn't do any harm... And ain't it grand to wander into a pub that never closes? Mind you, I don't like the look of that bloke in the corner fingering his possum ocarina - there's a strange miasma around him. Must be the pickled eggs. |
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11 Dec 00 - 06:14 AM (#354784) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak Ah, an unoccupied letter tray. Micca, I don't piss down chimneys, that's that tabby bastard from out the back. Yours, Baron Velin de Marmalade aka Gerroffoutifyagingerbugger |
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11 Dec 00 - 06:45 AM (#354808) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak There's bloody cat paw prints on my keyboard again.... can't leave it alone for 2 mins, just for a widdle.... well OK, 4 mins, I have had a lot, and now I know why they call it Spitfire..... Anyone got any Blandford Fly?? Try it, it's lovely... Hall and Woodhouse have made a new spiced ale, 5.2% (or thereabouts), pale chestnut, gingery, hoppy and absolutely bloody lovely.... 10 out of 10 and where can I get some more?? LTS |
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11 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM (#354827) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST Naemanson, mind who you're snogging, I'm male. |
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11 Dec 00 - 07:38 AM (#354828) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Greyeyes (at work) Naemanson, mind who you're snogging, I'm male. |
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11 Dec 00 - 08:48 AM (#354852) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler Since a large crane has been swinging Portakabins past my window all day (postponed from Friday because of high winds),my nerves are shot! Gimme a large Metaxas on Bert's tab. Then we'll all go an march on Patrish's hubbies school and lynch the head. As soon as this pub closes.... RtS |
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11 Dec 00 - 09:10 AM (#354860) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Matt_R Coooooooommmme plaaaaaaaay myyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaaaaame |
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11 Dec 00 - 10:31 AM (#354912) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Noreen Love to, Mattie- wotcha playin'?? And Brett, three cheers for the puddin'! Hip hip.... now where did I put my glass... |
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11 Dec 00 - 12:00 PM (#354975) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca RtS..." as soon as this pub closes the revolution starts. we'll,chase the aristocracy and confiscate there brass, and start a new democracy thats really working class ...as soon as this pub closes,as oooon as this pub closes" |
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11 Dec 00 - 12:06 PM (#354983) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Kim C Whiskey Cat needs a lap and a scratch behind the ears. Meow. And another triple Bushmills. |
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11 Dec 00 - 12:54 PM (#355013) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Well, I had thought the local constabulary, in the person of one PC Dimbutttock,scourge of the apple-scrumpers,man of fashion ( albeit 50 years ago) and general all round theif chasing hero, might have stepped in to close us down but although he stepped in, he didn't step out again.That's him leaning against Noreen and crooning "Goodnight Irene" ever so slightly off-key.Mrs Dimbuttock came and deposited his dinner on him sometime last night ( the gravy was lumpy) and then moved in with the Postmistress, Miss Hermione Gladiator....they seem very happy. BTW has anyone seen the landlord yet? |
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11 Dec 00 - 02:21 PM (#355092) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert And Bertie boy walks back in again, having been gone all weekend. Sorry about the dart Spaw, I was after a double 'top', honest. Your bottom was the last thing on my mind. Gimme a Boilermaker, that's an 'English' Boilermaker please. A Stout and Mild - Aaaaah!!! that's fit for Brother Ted Hill himself. Seeing as I can never hit the bloody dartboard and so that T's Arse can be preserved for posteriority, I think I'll join Matt. What game is that yer playing there me ol' china? |
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11 Dec 00 - 02:31 PM (#355100) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: MMario God I love being in a pub on a friday evening...it's so nice to bve able to unwind with a few... it's monday? It's MONDAY ? ! ? ! What happenned to my weekend? |
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11 Dec 00 - 03:27 PM (#355149) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Kim C I was just wondering the same thing. |
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11 Dec 00 - 03:45 PM (#355158) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R Raise the pressure, let's play the game--I'll test ya! Psychosomatic attic insane! Raise the pressure, let's play the game--I'll test ya! Psychosomatic attic insane! Cooooooooooome plaaaaaaaaaay myyyyyyyyyy gaaaaaaaaaaaaame In Hell, in Hell, you're the victim! Coooooooommmmmmm plaaaaaaaaaaay mmyyyyyyy gammmmmmmme Excel excel excel! |
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11 Dec 00 - 03:50 PM (#355163) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Micca I see, Matt, its an ad. for Microsoft products???? |
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11 Dec 00 - 03:51 PM (#355164) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Greyeyes Right, so that's cleared up then! |
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11 Dec 00 - 04:01 PM (#355171) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia I think somebody has been feeding thatlad a little too much Old and Nasty..... |
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11 Dec 00 - 04:10 PM (#355177) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Too soon to be out of me bed, Too soon to be back at this bus queue caper, And fumbling for change for me picture paper, On a Mondy morning.
Wrong end of the week for a smile,
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11 Dec 00 - 05:39 PM (#355235) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Bert No it's Excel that he's playing. Who needs Zork when you've got Excel. The game is to try to figure out how it works by reading the online help. |
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11 Dec 00 - 08:40 PM (#355332) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Morticia Oh Brett, one of my favourite songs, can we do harmony?
Where is the weekend now?, |
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11 Dec 00 - 09:08 PM (#355349) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC So nice of Constable Dimbuttock to lend me his coat. My goosebumps were getting goosebumps. I think I'll wander back to the kitchen and try to find some eggs that haven't been pickled yet. Anyone like a nice big dish of scrambled eggs and toast? I've got some good coffee and tea brewing, too. |
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11 Dec 00 - 09:23 PM (#355353) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R I'm a firestarter!!! |
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11 Dec 00 - 10:07 PM (#355367) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Hey CarolC! While you're back there, could you see if there might be some grits back there? No, I guess there wouldn't be. (sigh) I guess I'll just have one of these orange-glazed sweet rolls. Anyone else want one? I brought plenty. Oh, and if anyone else wants one, I am going to be making a few double diablo dirty demitasses (or whatever you may call them) on that steam generating thing over there that sounds like a bagpipe whenever it gets hot. Maybe I can figure out how to fix that. |
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11 Dec 00 - 10:40 PM (#355382) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson OK Mortee, arm in arm in harmony, My lover she lies asleep, My lover is warm and her heart is mellow, I give the whole world just to share her pillow, On a Monday morning. If only the birds would booze, If only the sun were a party giver, If I could trade someone else my liver, On a monday morning. |
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11 Dec 00 - 10:40 PM (#355384) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Alice Matt, I just came in from below zero Fahrenheit, deathly cold. I could use a firestarter like yourself. A roaring fire where I can thaw out... that's the ticket... and anything warm to drink. |
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11 Dec 00 - 10:43 PM (#355386) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Susan A-R Grits!? Did someone say grits? The real kind, not the instant ones, with lots of butter, a bit of salt, that kind? Lemme rummage around here and see what I can find. Oh, and could someone pour me a nice red wine, not too sweet, with a bit of oak and strawberry flavor (whatever the hell that means) As soon as I find these . . . Ah, there they are. . . I plan to set them going and take a load off my feet for a while. I started out the day moving a refrigerator, cooked for about 8 hours, then ended the day cleaning the new fridge. Awful things happen those suckers when they are left closed, and not quite clean for a while. Whew! Ahhhhhh, rouse me when the grits need attention. |
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11 Dec 00 - 11:04 PM (#355396) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Matt_R I've got word of thanks, thanks that I'd like to say, for the rage that I feel, the rage that I feel today. Gotta stack, gotta stack, stack of chips on my shoulder, in everything I do 'cause I made, I made, I made the mistake of trusting you. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel. Yeah, my layers are thick, And I got a bad attitude. Yeah, that knife in my back, has fingerprints that belong to you, Got a grudge, got a grudge, got a grudge that I'm holding, for as long as I live, 'cause you lied, you lied, you lied to my face, and that's something I can't forgive. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel my fire. People like you just fuel! |
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11 Dec 00 - 11:14 PM (#355402) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Susan A-R Was it something I said? Did I burn those grits? |
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11 Dec 00 - 11:18 PM (#355403) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Here's a lightly layered luscious latte for you, Alice. Now, lets get those boots off and I'll try to rub some circulation back into your feet. I can't spend much time at it though. Susan sounds as if she knows a thing or two about grits and I'd hate to miss out on them. |
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11 Dec 00 - 11:25 PM (#355404) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Alice Thanks, Allan. That feels better (you can have my share of the grits ;-) |
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11 Dec 00 - 11:35 PM (#355407) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: kimmers Grits!! Yum, I'll take a dish when they're done. What do we drink with grits? Kentucky Bourbon? Grits make me think of the South, which makes me think of the American Civil War (everything makes me think of the Civil War), so how about a chorus of the Army Bean Song? To the tune of "Sweet By an By": Tis the bean, that we mean, And we'll eat as we ne'er ate before Army beans, nice and clean We will stick to our beans ever more (the rest is in the DT, and I'll be damned if I'm going to type it all. Just sing the chorus; you're too tipsy for the rest) |
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11 Dec 00 - 11:42 PM (#355410) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. After you get thawed, Alice, perhaps you would favor us with a selection from The Merry Widow or, well...you choose something. Meanwhile I'll see what I can do to give Susan a hand. I'd imagine she is plenty tired. Those old refrigerators can put up quite a fight. Speaking of refrigerators, I wonder if Carol got herself locked in the walk-in or something. Haven't seen her for awhile. |
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12 Dec 00 - 12:01 AM (#355416) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. "Yes, for paradise the Southland is my nominee. Jes' give me a ham hock and a grit of hominy." Although I am a Californian by birth, I will always have a soft spot in my gut for the South - especially its food. But on the other hand, there aren't many things that surpass a Montana steak 'n eggs breakfast. Then again, I'd enjoy sopping up the last bit of a good batch of frijoles and red peppers with a flour tortilla. Or...aw heck. I just like it ALL! (Well, almost all. I have yet to figure out why brussels sprouts exist.) |
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12 Dec 00 - 12:17 AM (#355422) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: CarolC I can hear the strains of a haunting melody faintly drifting in through the back door of the kitchen. I open the door and follow the sound. Down the back-alley and around the corner I find a pair of buskers playing a beautiful tune on an accordion and a fiddle. I stand, transfixed by the music... HEY! Who's grabbing my arm!? Hey! That hurts! What do you mean you're taking me down to the station? Impersonating an officer and indecent exposure? WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? Hey guys! Can someone come bail me out? |
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12 Dec 00 - 12:26 AM (#355426) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. You've just gotta see about getting that hearing checked, Carol. The charge was: exposing an officer and impersonating indecency. It was a trumped up charge because they like to lock up as many accordian players as possible. There's no bail involved; but a bit of bribery is required. You'll be released in a few minutes. |
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12 Dec 00 - 03:58 AM (#355462) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Hey Susan, I'll have some of those grits but only with an egg, over easy, served on top of them. Yum!
Someone hollared for the cops, they busted down the door, |
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12 Dec 00 - 06:46 AM (#355508) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,micca at work Brett, is that the one that starts " The night that Paddy Murphy died is a night I'll never forget All the lads got roaring drunk Theres some not sober yet ?????? |
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12 Dec 00 - 06:50 AM (#355509) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Naemanson Yeah! I stole it off a cassette and have never heard it since. I would love to get the chords for it. I'm planning that for a future thread. |
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12 Dec 00 - 08:41 AM (#355565) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Allan C. Hey, could someone please do a Blicky for this thread to a continuation? I would if I could. |
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12 Dec 00 - 08:42 AM (#355568) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Liz the Squeak So where did the weekend go? Has anyone seen my legs?? Gervase, I have a soft spot for my mother in law.
Grimpen Mire!! There is a cat asleep on the other end of the keyboard, and she has a faint aroma of vinegar about her.... is this anything to do with you, Morty?? And what have you done with Gomez?? Is is cocktail hour yet?? Anyone for a Long slow screw against the wall?? LTS
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12 Dec 00 - 08:54 AM (#355579) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Gervase I'm a bit dubious about these 'ere gritty things. Sounds to me like chomping gravel. How's about some pork scratchings instead - get me seven or eight bags and a tube of glue, and I'll make you an AIrfix pig! |
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12 Dec 00 - 08:57 AM (#355583) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Greyeyes Click here for part 2.The debauchery continues |
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12 Dec 00 - 09:00 AM (#355584) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: GUEST,Matt_R Send a little message to you...I'm gonna get out of heeeeeeeeeerrrrrreeeeee. Gomez.
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12 Dec 00 - 11:25 PM (#356164) Subject: RE: BS: Welcome to The Mudcat Arms From: Susan A-R Ah, a bit more red wine, (like last night) and now it's time for friiied grits (Mom always put the leftover grits in an orange juice can then cut them into rounds the next day and fried them in bacon grease. Mmmm. Just got back from fiddle session, and I think the wine was stronger than usual. Good tunes though. Anyone here know Elsic's Fairewell?? |