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BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call

11 Feb 01 - 08:31 PM (#395886)
Subject: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: jeepman (inactive)

I have put down my banjo and guitar for tonight and wanted to pass on some thoughts.

We are about to enter a new century and we are given the task of passing on our Knowledge, our thoughts, our music and our thirst for the truth. But many questions remain. Questions which are being ignored by politicians and laymen alike.

We deserve answers and mudcatters can give them.

1) In Tom Donleves(??) social commentary entitled"DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM LOSE ITS FLAVOR ON THE BEDPOST OVERNITE"' he raises the fundamental question about gum, but also asks"IF A TIN WHISTLE IS MADE OF TIN, HOW DO YOU MAKE A FOG HORN?"

This lone voice in the wilderness was not afraid to ask. It is time he was heard and understood.

Simple problems abound with no clear answers. "How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"

Rally to the cause Mudcatters, give us your answers and submit your own questions.

Jeepman

11 Feb 01 - 08:35 PM (#395893)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Sorcha

Who put the bop in the bop de bop bop? Inquiring minds want to KNOW!!

11 Feb 01 - 08:41 PM (#395897)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: campfire

The same person who put the ram in the ram-alam-a-ding dong?

campfire

11 Feb 01 - 08:42 PM (#395898)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Metchosin

As much wood as a wood chuck could chuck
If a wood chuck could chuck wood

11 Feb 01 - 08:50 PM (#395907)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Art Thieme

"The answer is blowin' in the wind." (Dylan)

So what is it?

"The answer, my friend, is bl;owin' out your end !" (Art Thieme)

11 Feb 01 - 08:54 PM (#395910)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Night Owl

sooo......."Why do fools fall in love"......?????

11 Feb 01 - 08:58 PM (#395914)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: jeepman (inactive)

ATTAWAY MUDCATTERS!Keep it up. We Will Be Heard. Jman

11 Feb 01 - 09:03 PM (#395920)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Matt_R

NightOwl...the world may never know! ;-)

11 Feb 01 - 09:10 PM (#395925)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Banjer

Q. How many balls of string would it take to strecth to the moon? A. One, if it is big enough!

Q. How does one make a hormone?

A. Don't pay her!

11 Feb 01 - 09:15 PM (#395926)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Stewie

Well, I give in. What the fuck does ditty wa ditty mean?

11 Feb 01 - 09:19 PM (#395929)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Malcolm Douglas

I'm afraid that this is a bit UK specific, but back when I was writing my wee degree dissertation about Graffiti, one of my favourites was:

If Typhoo put the "T" in "Britain",¹ who put the Cunt in Scunthorpe?

The answer, of course, was

The same person who put the Penis in Penistone.

¹ A famous advertising slogan in the 1960s and 70s for a brand of tea.  Scunthorpe and Penistone are placenames; the former is supposed to have been regularly screened out by "Internet Nanny" filters on the grounds of obscenity.  I've only been there once, and it was rather too dull to be obscene.  Nobody goes to Penistone unless they have to.

Malcolm

11 Feb 01 - 09:36 PM (#395940)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Stewie

My favourite bit of graffiti (graffito?) was in half-demolished toilet block here in Darwin after Cyclone Tracy nearly blew the place away.

Q: What did Cyclone Tracy say to the palm tree?
A: Hang on to your nuts, baby, this is no ordinary blow job.

--Stewie.

11 Feb 01 - 09:41 PM (#395942)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Amos

One graffitum, two graffitti? Or maybe its a reflexive form -- "graffitor" -- any Latin experts out there, while we are on to hard questions?

A

11 Feb 01 - 10:16 PM (#395960)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Art Thieme

Is Max's home really a Maxipad ??????

Art Thieme

11 Feb 01 - 10:29 PM (#395966)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Bill D

"What kind of fool am I?"

"How much IS that doggie in the window?"

11 Feb 01 - 10:57 PM (#395984)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: GUEST,Pi Eyed

Why is Europe and Asia often considered two seperate continents? Isn't a continent a large land mass surrounded by water?

When I asked my high school geography teacher this in front of the calss I got the reply that they are divided by a mountain range.

To this I querried- Then why isn't there an East and West America, as right down the middle is a mountain range called- The Continental Divide?

Also, if history starts with man, then how do you get prehistoric man? Isn't this a little contradictory?

11 Feb 01 - 11:19 PM (#396000)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: hesperis

Where exactly IS "east of the sun, west of the moon"

12 Feb 01 - 12:00 AM (#396026)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Bill D

from memories of my Dad entertaing us boys:

"If a hen and a half could lay an egg and a half in a day and a half... how long would it take a cross-eyed grasshopper with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?"

"If you were carrying all the feathers you could carry, could you carry one more?"

12 Feb 01 - 12:34 AM (#396047)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: wysiwyg

Present, but at present further deponent sayeth not.

12 Feb 01 - 01:30 AM (#396074)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Jon Freeman

If time flies like an arrow, do fruit fly like an orange?

Jon

12 Feb 01 - 01:48 AM (#396078)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: wdyat12

How Long is a Chinaman. wdyat12

12 Feb 01 - 01:51 AM (#396079)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: wdyat12

Jon, Why is an Orange? wdyat12

12 Feb 01 - 02:02 AM (#396081)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: wdyat12

This querry was always sported at the dinner table of formal family gatherings by my Grampa D: "If a millipede a pint and a centipede a quart. How much did a precipice?" Much to my Gramma D's mortification. Does anyone know the answer?

12 Feb 01 - 02:15 AM (#396084)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Clinton Hammond

All I know is, -I- let the dogs out... now can we shut up about it!?!

;-)

12 Feb 01 - 02:35 AM (#396088)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: wdyat12

Get some sleep CH. The dogs will keep the coyotes away. It's tomorrow already. wdyat12

12 Feb 01 - 03:49 AM (#396107)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Metchosin

If you have 0 and multiply it by 1, you still have 0. But then again, If you have 1 and multiply it by 0, shouldn't you still have your original 1? This did not seem right to me as a child.....still doesn't.

12 Feb 01 - 05:31 AM (#396131)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock

Aha, Pi-Eyed, I can answer one of those! History doesn't start with man - history is written history and the time before that when nothing was written down is prehistoric. Apparently. Well, that's what they told me in uni.

When you toast brown bread, how do you know when it's done?
Why does my reversible jumper say "wash inside out" on the label?
If shorts are short, why aren't trousers called longs?

Metchosin - EXACTLY - maths is an evil attempt by the government to confuse people.

12 Feb 01 - 06:15 AM (#396137)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: menzze

When I was a teen we often had discussions on the following:

Where does a circle start and where does it end?

In an endless universe everything must be possible or it is not endless according to the definition. If it is so why can't I avoid my damned pc from breaking down at least to times a day? Is this the proof that universe is limited at last and only me found out?

12 Feb 01 - 09:30 AM (#396224)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Mountain Dog

wdyat12,

I remember "How Long" from my Grandfather:

G: "How Long is a Chinaman."

Me: "I don't know, Grampa. How Long is a Chinaman?"

G: "That's right!"

Me: "What is?"

G: "How Long is a Chinaman!"

Me: "I still don't know..."

G: "That's why I'm telling you: 'How Long is a Chinaman!'"

Me: (uncertainly) "Oh. Umm, thank you."

G: (with a small smile and a wink) "You're a Welshman!"

12 Feb 01 - 10:20 AM (#396265)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Kim C

I have always wanted to know just exactly how much is a shit worth. And last night we were watching this program on PBS, and the commentator said, We've got a tent load of people here...

And I said to Mister, okay, is a tentload bigger or smaller than a boatload? And where does a shitload come in?

12 Feb 01 - 11:44 AM (#396331)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Bill D

"Where does a circle start and where does it end?"

well, a circle is "a round straight line with a hole in the middle.", so it starts at the end and ends at the beginning...like the universe.

you're welcome

12 Feb 01 - 11:47 AM (#396336)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: GUEST,Matt_R

Kim...what about the motherload?

12 Feb 01 - 12:49 PM (#396401)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Micca

With reference to the tin whistle and fog horn what about wood pigeons,
and are coffee grounds the estate where they grow coffee?
and if a fathom is 6 feet, what is it that people cannot fathom?
and to answer one of the above, Yes the spearmint does lose its flavour on the bed post overnight as it is flavoured with volatile spearmint oil which therfore continues to evaporate .

12 Feb 01 - 12:54 PM (#396412)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Mrrzy

Eurasia not being a continent has always bothered me too.

"Why must I beeeee a teenager in love?" was always one of my favorites... and I'm neither of the above right now, I just like the question. How about Ours is not to reason Why?

12 Feb 01 - 01:07 PM (#396431)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Kim C

Oh thanks a LOT Matt, as if I didn't have anything else to wonder about... ;)

12 Feb 01 - 03:20 PM (#396533)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Luke

It's about cornbread. And pie. I've heard it said over and over, "pie are square". I think it's why I never did well in math. By my reckoning. Pie are round and cornbread are square. Now if we could clear this up maybe a whole lot of other things would just snap into focus.

Luke

12 Feb 01 - 07:00 PM (#396703)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: menzze

Hi Bill D

never seen a straight line with a hole in the middle but maybe that's exactly what universe is like and this damned f***** COMPUTER loves to stumble right into it every day *mbg*

12 Feb 01 - 07:27 PM (#396724)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Dave Wynn

I've always worried about "what noise annoys an oyster" and then in a flash of inspiration I was told that "a noisy noise annoys an oyster"

It was fundamantal to my existance and I have always wanted to share with someone.

Thanks Jeepman.

Spot.

12 Feb 01 - 08:30 PM (#396754)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Spud Murphy

Sorcha: It was Helen Kane. But I think it was Poop as in Boop Boop de Doop

Spud

12 Feb 01 - 08:37 PM (#396761)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Jon Freeman

wdyat, no idea but with regards to my question, I reckon a fruit fly (drosophilla?) would like an orange.

Jon

13 Feb 01 - 01:47 AM (#396897)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Metchosin

Apparently this question can can be answered by 80% of kindergarten children but only 18% of Stanford graduates:

What is greater than God, more evil than the devil, the poor have it, the rich need it and if you eat it you will die?

13 Feb 01 - 04:15 AM (#396922)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: English Jon

Nothing.

13 Feb 01 - 12:34 PM (#397110)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Kim C

I guess I'm not as bright as a kindergartener. What grade are you in, English Jon? ;)

13 Feb 01 - 09:03 PM (#397511)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: artbrooks

And why is it "green, green, green they say", rather than red, purple or sky-blue pink?

13 Feb 01 - 09:14 PM (#397519)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Jande

art! I never heard anyone other than my Welsh father say Sky-blue pink!

Gave me quite a turn. LOL!

~ Jande

14 Feb 01 - 11:29 AM (#397887)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Noreen

Or sky blue pink with finnyanny borders, as we used to say at school... why?

And who knows where the time goes?

(not)

Noreen

14 Feb 01 - 04:35 PM (#398094)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Hawker

How many beans make five?

And why does a penny whistle cost more than a penny?

Who is Mel Odeon? Should we ban Jo?

Why was it that Bodh ran?

why should I Fol the day?

14 Feb 01 - 04:51 PM (#398106)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Rollo

Why the duck-billed platypus?

14 Feb 01 - 05:59 PM (#398145)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Bert

Why green, green? 'cos it would sound funny to say "The grass is purpler on the far side of the hill"

As kids we used to say "Sky-blue pink, trimmed with castor oil"

14 Feb 01 - 05:59 PM (#398146)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Bert

Why green, green? 'cos it would sound funny to say "The grass is purpler on the far side of the hill"

As kids we used to say "Sky-blue pink, trimmed with castor oil"

15 Feb 01 - 02:01 PM (#398717)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Big Phil

I almost live in Penistone,2 miles outside.how did Malcolm Douglas get through passport control. Ha. Ha.

15 Feb 01 - 02:09 PM (#398726)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Bill D

good golly! My mother said "sky-blue pink"...and I thought SHE was the only one...,,but...before I posted, I did a Google search and got 463 hits! People are seeling thing with that listed as the color...so it is evidently a phrase of long standing. You live and learn.............

15 Feb 01 - 05:08 PM (#398867)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: voyager

"IF WISHES WERE FISHES WE'D ALL BE SWIMMING"

glub...glub...glub

15 Feb 01 - 06:34 PM (#398944)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Mr Red

near redditch UK (more red than itch) there used to be a road sign to "Pink Green Only". It still says "Pink Green". Why? to distiguish it from the all those blue pinks I guess. Redditch is not my favourite town. Even the Festival has moved to the charming nearby Alcester (june 22/23/24) www.alcesterfolkfestival.co.uk

15 Feb 01 - 06:51 PM (#398957)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Hawker

Hey, I actually have a photograph of a sky that is sky blue pink - it is a sunset and all who see it say: 'OOooh Look! Sky blue pink!!!!'

In Exeter, Devon, UK there is a road called Little Cross Hill...... I just wondered why the hill was cross?

Lucy

16 Feb 01 - 11:03 AM (#399392)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: Uncle_DaveO

Metchosin said:

"If you have 0 and multiply it by 1, you still have 0. But then again, If you have 1 and multiply it by 0, shouldn't you still have your original 1? "

First, remember there is a difference between figures and numbers. It's sort of the difference between letters and words. Figures are only the written elements with wich we build representations of numbers, which refer to quantities.

With that in mind: Zero is not a number (not a quantity); it is the absence of a quantity. Multiplication is sort of the equivalent of an adjective-noun combination. Thus, if you multiply zero times one, you are creating the absence of one. Or, you could say that you have one empty quantity. Either way, it's nuthin'.

Sorry to spoil the happy nature of this thread by actually giving an answer.

Dave Oesterreich

16 Feb 01 - 11:11 AM (#399396)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock

No, Dave, I like yer reasoning but I still hold with the maths-is-a-government-conspiracy theory. They're hoping that if you're too busy wrecking your head with numbers, you're too busy to revolt. Mind you, it leads back to the same old question - how can a government have all those brilliant X-File type conspiracies and yet be so inept at running the country?
(Arrrgh! No! They're coming through the door!! Help! I didn't mean to say inept, I meant to say -AAARGHHHH- - -)

16 Feb 01 - 11:27 AM (#399405)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

I've always wondered: if they didn't want anyone to investigate the X-files why did they keep them?
And having kept them, why let that nosy Mulder read them. Why not transfer him to the Anchorage office?
RtS

16 Feb 01 - 11:38 AM (#399415)
Subject: RE: BS: Mudcatters arise and answer the call
From: GUEST,Fibula Mattock

Well said, RtS. Perhaps for the same reason they kept the Ark of the Covenant when Indiana Jones found it. They just put it in a big box saying "do not open" and shoved it into a giant warehouse. Why? Perhaps that's their inept factor creeping in, or perhaps they want them to be found (she said darkly). Maybe that's part of the conspiracy too. Maybe we're meant to think there are X-Files... oh bollix, my head's all messed up now. There's no way I'll be able to start the revolution now.