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09 Apr 01 - 04:31 PM (#436667) Subject: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk With a camel you always get at least one hump. :-) - LH p.s. I figure with only 12 reasons, this should turn out to be a mercifully short thread. Go to it. |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:34 PM (#436669) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL But camels spit at you......... |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:34 PM (#436670) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL P.S - yuk!!!!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:34 PM (#436671) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario technically - Llamas are camels - though not all camels are llamas |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:38 PM (#436675) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Murray MacLeod And llamas don't have any humps .......
"The one-lled lama he's a priest Ogden Nash. |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:38 PM (#436677) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk I think that llamas spit too. You have hit upon an interesting point there, Mario. By golly! Okay, here's another reason: Nine out of ten doctors prefer camels! (perverts!!!) - LH |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:40 PM (#436679) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bert What do you call a camel with three humps? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Humphrey - Ta da!!!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:41 PM (#436680) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Ur just sick little hawk, in a humerous way of course!! Speaking of llamas, my friend has one as a pet.....we had to take care of it the other summer when she went on holiday.....they're buggers to catch....quite fast when they want to be. Took 7 of us to bring it in!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:43 PM (#436683) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin ......well I don't know about that, Little Hawk, I've heard rumours of llama humps too........and also llama wool is nicer and cosier, while camels scare horses and pack mules on steep mountain trails and caused all kinds of calamities during the Barkerville goldrush. |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:44 PM (#436685) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario llamas are smarter then camels, too. did you know you cannot overload a pack llama? they won't move if you do. In school they taught us that llamas are the ONLY pack animal that do this. Which of course makes llamas smarter then donkeys, dogs, goats, horses, people, elephants, ... |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:46 PM (#436689) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Fascinating! I envy you your llama chase, JeZeBel...that must have been quite memorable. Llamas are rather friendly looking creatures, I think, while camels look much more sarcastic. This thread may last longer than I had expected. - LH |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:49 PM (#436695) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario speaking of lasting longer - the mating of llamas takes a bit longer then with many animals - for interesting anotomical reasons. |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:53 PM (#436702) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bert Elucidate MMario!!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:54 PM (#436704) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin don't leave it at that MMario, enquiring minds want to know....... |
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09 Apr 01 - 04:59 PM (#436713) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL Yes please go on.....we're all sitting comfortably........... Little Hawk, I agree, camels just look at you as if to say "yeah right, you're having a laugh mate. If you think I'm gonna kneel down for someone to sit on my back, and I assure you it is most uncomfortable for me, AND then proceed to walk miles across the desert, when I can stand ere with me mates and have a natter.......(camel spits at you)......" hmmm, maybe I'm going a little too far..... |
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09 Apr 01 - 05:02 PM (#436721) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: MMario well - how can I say this and still get it through the content filter.... Shall we say - certain portions of a male llama normally face about 180 degrees in the wrong direction for mating - and it can take upwards of an hour to reposition? |
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09 Apr 01 - 05:07 PM (#436724) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin gee no wonder llamas spit...I would too! |
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09 Apr 01 - 05:07 PM (#436725) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Murray MacLeod I believe that the reason llamas take longer is that in the mountainous regions of Peru which is their normal habitat, the method of copulation involves the male jumping off a high precipice onto the female below. If he misses first time then he has to repeat the exercise. Any lady who has had an Australian lover will understand this ........... Murray |
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09 Apr 01 - 05:29 PM (#436734) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: catspaw49 "I'd walk a mile for a hump." Spaw |
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09 Apr 01 - 05:40 PM (#436741) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL only a mile...................................? |
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09 Apr 01 - 05:46 PM (#436754) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief shin splints. |
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09 Apr 01 - 06:08 PM (#436788) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: JeZeBeL wot do you mean shin splints?????? |
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09 Apr 01 - 06:16 PM (#436802) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief That's why he won't walk more than a mile -- he gets shin splints. |
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09 Apr 01 - 06:19 PM (#436808) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu shin splits ? |
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09 Apr 01 - 06:20 PM (#436810) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: katlaughing Llamas are very curious animals and will nibble at hair barrettes, rings, and things. One try to remove my daughter's barrette, from her hair, when she was little and we visited a special farm for kids. We have a fellow up the road who started out with just a few, as weedeaters, over about 180 acres. Now he has a head of about 50, with new younguns' every year, so they can't have that much of a problem! I saw or read a special on a woman who has one which rides in the back of her minivan, to wherever they are hiking/packing or visiting, as it visits schools, too. They are very smart and quite docile if handled right from birth. I also have a friend who raises them. I love llamas, can you tell? kat |
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09 Apr 01 - 06:25 PM (#436816) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief Sorry; it's one word, not two. This from www.m-w.com:
Main Entry: shin·splints Alex |
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09 Apr 01 - 06:34 PM (#436831) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Mrs.Duck I've never ridden a llama! |
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09 Apr 01 - 07:43 PM (#436896) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk The camels are beginning to look like losers here. I should have launched a thread on why llamas are better, I suppose. Live and learn... - LH |
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09 Apr 01 - 08:23 PM (#436932) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: paddymac Ranchers in Florida often use llamas as "guard dogs". The beasts are said to be quick to attack marauding coyotes and dog packs. They (llamas) are especially useful in calving season when mama cows are more vulnerable. Yes, even darling little Fido reverts to primitive behavious when he's running loose in a pack. |
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09 Apr 01 - 08:27 PM (#436937) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk Damn right. There are packs of dogs running wild in the back country around here. I know a guy who hunts them, because they kill his livestock. He puts out bait and waits all night for them. He says they are very cunning, and downright dangerous if you don't have a gun with you. They normally send one of the smaller (less valuable) dogs in to check the bait and see if the coast is clear. Pretty clever. - LH |
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09 Apr 01 - 08:31 PM (#436942) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Geoff the Duck Being a pedant ( or at least I think that's what they called me! ), I must interject that technically the Llama is just one of two domesticated varieties of the Guanaco. The Guanaco is (I believe - according to books I have perused) one of two South American species of camel, the other being the Vicuna. That said, I think it has a much better ring to be A LLama FFarmer. p.s. When a camel driver was asked how he made his camels run fast, hesaid "take two half bricks and smash them together on it's ggoolies". When people asked "Isn't it painful" the camel driver replied "Only if you get your thumbs caught between the bricks!" Quack!!!!!!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 08:37 PM (#436946) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: catspaw49 Gee Geoff...I was just about to tell that! I copied it from a post I had in the "Classic Jokes Thread"....so...what the hell...here's my rendition....and still one of my favorite jokes!!! ********************************************************* A guy is planning a trip across the desert and he goes to the Hertz Rent-A-Came joint and tells them he wants to rent one. The Hertz guy asks if he wants a 7 day or a 14 day camel. Well, the trip is for 16 days and the fellow can't figure out a way to shorten it. After much cajoling, the Hertz guy says, "I'll see what I can do." He walks over and selects a large 14 day camel and sticks its head in the water trough. As the camel is drinking, he goes into the Hertz Kiosk and returns with two bricks. The camel is almost full and ready to take its last slurp when the Hertz guy walks behind it. Then, with a powerful swing, he claps the 2 bricks together, smashing the camel's nuts in between. The camel goes 'SSLLLLLUUUOOOORRRRPPPSSSSHHH', and sucks up a ton more water. The Hertz guy walks around to the front and says, "There ya' go pal. That oughta' do it." The traveller is appalled. "JESUS CHRIST MAN!!!!!! Doesn't that HURT???"...to which the Hertz guy replies, "Nah........Not if you keep your thumbs out of the way." Spaw |
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09 Apr 01 - 08:52 PM (#436958) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Lonesome EJ Camels will nearly always loan you their last buck, while llamas are notoriously tight-fisted. Camels are always ready with an entertaining story around the old Oasis campfire, while llamas tend to mope and complain about the accomodations. Camels are often moved to tears by Folk music, while llamas guffaw at them and listen to the Dixie Chicks. Camels are fastidious, their infamous spitting behavior a result of having to deal with unwashed Bedouins all of the time. You are constantly having to pick up after llamas. Camels are well-educated, learning English at an early age. Llamas refuse to converse in any language other than Spanish. On long, lonely caravan trips, if you sleep with a camel, the camel will rise early to prepare breakfast for you. Llamas will sleep all day, then leave wet towels and cigarette butts all over the bathroom. |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:00 PM (#436962) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: hesperis What is that from, leej, one of those "What Animal Are You?" books? |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:04 PM (#436963) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: catspaw49 No hesp.....You don't know Leej........Sounds like his stuff to me!!! Spaw (ROTFLMAO) |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:07 PM (#436965) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Lonesome EJ Hesp, take it from a guy who has crossed both the Sahara and the Andes more times than he cares to remember...these things are true. |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:17 PM (#436971) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Geoff the Duck If you keep such close company with camels I can't see why you would call yourself "Lonesome" Quack!!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:20 PM (#436975) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Lonesome EJ I don't. That's what everybody else calls me. |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:29 PM (#436986) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Geoff the Duck Touche!;~>@-:< ps. - must learn how to do these "Smiley" things!!! Quack!!!!!!! |
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09 Apr 01 - 09:48 PM (#436999) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bill D a new commandant in the Foreign Legion..in a desert outpost...He has been there for several weeks, and he is feeling 'lonely'. So he quietly asks his top sergant, "Tell me, don't you all get pretty...ummm..lonely out here with no wives, no girlfriends..etc.? How do you handle the ummm...'pressure'?" "Oh, no sir," says the sergant, "not as long as we've old Bessie there!" and he points to a camel tied behind the barrack...with a stepladder leaning on the fence beside her. "Sergant! I am shocked!", says the Commandant! "That's disgusting!" "But, sir...", says the sergant.. "Never mind" says the huffy officer,"I don't want to hear any more of this! I will just endure!" So...a few more weeks go by, and he is biting his nails and pacing, and as he looks out, old Bessie doesn't look nearly as bad.....and one dark night he decides he can't stand it any longer, so he goes out, gets the stepladder and places it where he thinks is convenient and climbs up.........and in a minute or so, there is a WILD commotion and the sergant comes running to see what has old Bessie so upset...and there is his commandant, flagrante delecto.... "Sir...you can't...that's dangerous!" "Well, YOU told me that when the men are lonely, old Bessie was the answer!" "Yes, sir....but the men use her to ride to TOWN!" |
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09 Apr 01 - 10:59 PM (#437040) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Little Hawk LOL! My God, I am learning new things all the time here. LEJ - very funny! You are definitely nuts. - LH |
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09 Apr 01 - 11:10 PM (#437048) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: rangeroger Murray MacLeod, Ogdan Nash was wrong! There is a three lled llama. It is the three l lllama fire. rr |
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09 Apr 01 - 11:24 PM (#437056) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Bill D Ogden Nash said *approximately)..."the author's attention has been called that type of conflagration known as a 'three-alarmer'...pooh!" |
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09 Apr 01 - 11:41 PM (#437063) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: GUEST,John Gray / Australia Australia has quite a large wild camel population. In the middle of the 1800's Afghan cameleers were encouraged to come here, complete with camels, to carry stores across our vast, dry, outback regions. Naturally some escaped and started breeding - our outback was like home away from home. Anyway, in the interim, in the camel regions of the Middle East, managed breeding took place to produce better camels. Don't ask me what for - maybe to produce more milk or have bigger humps or something. Anyway, the upshot of this is that we have the only decent herds of purebred camels. When the sheiks want fair dinkum camels for some special hoedown or tent warming party they buy them from us. There are people here seriously looking to farm camels for meat. The next generation of McDonalds may begin right here with Oz camel-burgers. And a feed of ribs would certainly top you up. JG / F.M.E. |
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10 Apr 01 - 03:21 AM (#437147) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: GUEST,Crazy Eddie I cannot believe no one said this already: A pack of 20 llamas won't fit in your shirt pocket, and have you ever tried to LIGHT a llama? |
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10 Apr 01 - 03:39 AM (#437151) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: katlaughing LOL...I do love camels, too...they are just so fun to look at and watch, with thier huge feet, long slobbery, soft lips, gorgeous eyelashes and laconic who-gives-a-shit attitude and I LOVE the way they TALK, grumble, complain, etc. |
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10 Apr 01 - 03:41 AM (#437152) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: mousethief In the middle of the 1800's Afghan cameleers were encouraged to come here, complete with camels, to carry stores across our vast, dry, outback regions. Naturally some escaped and started breeding Damn those Afghans. Always escaping and breeding. Alex |
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10 Apr 01 - 08:19 AM (#437240) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu Don't know if this applies to llamas, but I have heard that donkeys are also good at defending sheep herds except for one small "bug". Apparently, they will defend the herd against any intruder. This includes strays which try to rejoin the herd. A fellow in southern NB had to get rid of his guard donkey as it had poor eyesight and was killing sheep left and right which had wandered only a short distance from the herd. Anyone know if llamas kill stray sheep which try to rejoin the herd ? BTW, years ago, I was working in northern Nova Scotia and a local town hall meeting about the coyote/sheep ( called Eastern Brush Wolves by some ) problem was being aired on radio. Sounded like a young female biologist from the government who described a plan to use bait laced with knockout pills so that the Yotes could be humanely sterilized and released. She entertained a question and you could hear an elderly gentleman state, in a rather austere English accent, "Miss, the coyotes are eating our sheep, not f***ing them." |
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10 Apr 01 - 08:56 PM (#437750) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Chicken Charlie I never heard anyone say he would walk a mile for a llama. Or sing, "Ashes to ashes, dust to dust; If llamas don't get you, Fatimas must." Just doesn't have that lilt. C.C. |
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10 Apr 01 - 09:19 PM (#437760) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: Metchosin gnu, ROTFLMAO! You've been of great help today more than once once, thanks! |
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11 Apr 01 - 07:08 AM (#437954) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: flattop It's guys like you who give maritimers a bad name, gnu. I trust that you're feeling a bit sheepish this morning. |
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11 Apr 01 - 07:19 AM (#437955) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu I don't make them up, I just report them. |
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11 Apr 01 - 08:59 AM (#438000) Subject: RE: 12 reasons camels are better than llamas From: gnu Metchosin.... if you need more relief, and I hope with all my heart that you don't, I just remembered a couple of more such incidents. They don't have anything to do with this thread, but what the heck, sue me ! I hired a guy on an airport construction job in Wabush, Labrador by the name of John Malakoff. He was a very interesting character who had worked all over Canada. One job he had was as a radio announcer in northern Alberta. He was reading the news early one morning and stated that the pilot of an RCAF jet out of Cold Lake had "ejaculated to safety" and his radio career ended. He couldn't say another word, even when he tried several times over the next couple of days. One more and I gotta go.... I was listening to the radio while travelling to Lewisporte, NF and there was a talk show on with a nurse answering health questions. One lady phoned in and said that condoms should be provided free of charge because some of the outport ( outports are isolated communities along the coastal areas ) stores were charging a lot of money and in such small communities, purchases could be the source of gossip. The nurse said that, if one was careful, condoms could be washed with warm water and mild soap and reused. ( Note here that "townies" are people living in St. John's where the radio show originated, or also people living in larger communities. ) The reply was, "That's well and fine for you townies what got hot water heaters and all, but if you think I'm gettin up three and four times a night to boil a kettle, your gone solid maid." Apologies for the poor Newfie "accent".
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