16 Jun 01 - 03:15 AM (#484880) Subject: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: pavane Some years ago, I came across some soldiers on the train singing a bawdy song they knew as the Lobster song. This was a version of a very old song usually called the Crabfish, but with this chorus added: Singing hi diddly hi (ore something like that) Diddle if you must Never let you b*ll*cks dangle in the dust. Does anyone know the full lobester version? |
16 Jun 01 - 04:21 AM (#484893) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish etc From: Joe Offer Well, Crayfish is here (click) and Crabfish is here and Sea-crab is here and Shecrab is here, but no lobster yet. -Joe Offer- |
16 Jun 01 - 04:26 AM (#484896) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: Pene Azul It's here (?) Jeff
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16 Jun 01 - 04:28 AM (#484898) Subject: Lyr Add: THE LOBSTER SONG From: Pene Azul THE LOBSTER SONG This can be sung to the tune of "I Feel So Lonely" by Elvis. Oh mister fisherman home from the sea have you got a lobster you can sell to me? Chorus - either (Elvis) I feel so lonely baby, I feel so lonely baby, I feel so lonely I could die …or… Singing oh-tiddly oh, Shit or bust, Never let your bollocks dangle in the dust Oh yes sir, yes sir I have three and the biggest of the bastards I shall sell to thee Chorus So I took the lobster home and I couldn't find a dish so I put it in the place where the missus has a piss Chorus And half way through the night as you well know, up gets the missus to let the waters flow Chorus Well first I heard a groan and then I heard a grunt and there was the lobster hanging from her cunt Chorus So the missus grabs the poker and I grabbed the broom and we chased the fucking lobster around and round the room Chorus Well we hit it on the head and we beat it on the side and we hit the fucking lobster until the bastard died Chorus There's a moral to this story the moral is this, Always have a shuftie before you have a piss Chorus That's the end of the story there is no more, there's an apple up my arse and you can have the core |
16 Jun 01 - 08:19 AM (#484942) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: GUEST Yes, that looks about it.I am sure I have seen a reference that dates the crabfish back to a prose version in the 15th centuary! Thanks |
16 Jun 01 - 08:26 AM (#484944) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: GUEST Most versions seem to miss what appeared to be the original point. The crab grabbed the lady by the c**t, and when her husband investgated, it grabbed his nose, thereby joining the couple in this compromising position. (I also came across it under the name of Mr Razzledum, but I haven't checked the database for t hat) |
16 Jun 01 - 08:37 AM (#484946) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: GUEST,X 15th century is pure bullshit. It's the 1st song in Ed Cray's 'The Erotic Muse' 2nd ed., 1992. He says earliest song version is of 1620 (more likely c 1625-35 = Percy Folio MS), and prose form, 1610. |
16 Jun 01 - 09:14 AM (#484951) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: GUEST,X It's #149 in Steve Roud's folksong index, where more than 50 versions are noted. |
16 Jun 01 - 09:25 AM (#484955) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: GUEST 1620 is old enough for me! Thanks everyone |
16 Jun 01 - 10:23 AM (#484968) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: Charley Noble The way my uncle used to sing it, one of the middle verses ran: The old woman hollared as she lept in the air,: Shalla-who, shalla-who! The old woman hollared as she lept in the air, "There's a devil in the pisspot who's grabbed me by the hair," Singing ring-a-long, ring-a-long, rue! Thanks for the memory!;-) |
16 Jun 01 - 12:20 PM (#485004) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: Bill D This is one of the MOST thoroughly 'processed' songs in folkdom! People hear it, forget the exact words, but remember the general concept,,,,and re-write it with locale changes, chorus changes, etc...they expurgate it for mixed audiences, they spice it up for late night, they make it fit 'their' culture..and this has been going on for several hundred years! It's a riot to start this in a group where several people know different version, and watch the steam rise as folks say to themselves.."THAT'S not how it goes!"...*grin* |
12 Nov 05 - 09:39 PM (#1603379) Subject: Lyr Add: THE LOBSTER From: GUEST,Joe_F Well, here is some more processing. I learned this version at St Andrews University (Scotland) in 1959, except for the stanzas in brackets, which I adapted from another version, thinking them too good to miss: THE LOBSTER "Good morning, Mr Fisherman!" "Good morning, sir!" said he. "Have you a lobster for my tea?" CHORUS: Singing aye, aye, aye, shit or bust, Never let your ballocks dangle in the dust. "Oh yes, I have a lobster, indeed I have two: One for me and the other for you," Well, I took the lobster home, but I couldn't find a dish, So I put it in the pot where you're used to take a piss, Well, early in the morning, as everyone should know, A woman must get up to let the water flow, The lobster looked up with a smile on its kisser, And he took a grab at my old lady's pisser, Well, the lady gave a scream and the lobster gave a grunt, And she jumped from the pot with the lobster on her cunt, [Well, I ran to take a look, not putting on my clothes; He up with his claw and grabbed me by the nose, "We must ride to the doctor," my wife she did declare, "To get your nose out of my affair,"] Well, I grabbed a shovel and my wife she grabbed a broom, And we chased the fucking lobster around the fucking room, We hit it on the arse and we hit it on the head And we beat the fucking lobster till it was fucking dead, The moral of the story is plain as it can be: Take a look into the pisspot before you take a pee, That's the end of the story; there isn't any more: There's an apple up my arsehole, and you can have the core, --- Joe Fineman joe_f@verizon.net ||: Happiness is an imaginary condition, formerly attributed by the living to the dead. :|| |
12 Nov 05 - 10:08 PM (#1603389) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: Charley Noble Very nice, Joe! Charley Noble |
13 Nov 05 - 01:42 AM (#1603560) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: Gurney 'Aye-tiddly-aye, shit or bust....' in the version i've heard. Mike Harding sang a slightly cleaned-up version on BBC. |
13 Nov 05 - 07:36 PM (#1604129) Subject: RE: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish et From: Compton ...(Gurney) Also on Mike Harding Record "Mike Harding's Back"..Rubber Records RUB 022..(When he were good!) |
12 Mar 10 - 06:23 PM (#2863006) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Lobster song (aka crabfish, crayfish etc) From: Joe_F In response to a request on another thread, here is the tune to The Lobster as I heard it at St Andrews (in solfa: scale is DRMFSLTdrmfslt; dots mean continuation for a 16th note): ss.mm.mm.mm.mm.dd.dd..... L..d.dS..d..T..r..r.. m.rd..d..d.....Ld....S..... s.ss.ss..f..m.dr.td.... |