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Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush

04 Jul 01 - 02:01 PM (#498412)
Subject: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

This is a poem made up entirely of actual quotes from George W. Bush. The quotes have been arranged only for aesthetic purposes, by
Washington Post writer Richard Thompson.

MAKE THE PIE HIGHER
by George W. Bush

I think we all agree, the past is over.

This is still a dangerous world.
It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses.
Rarely is the question asked
Is our children learning?
Will the highways of the internet become more few?

How many hands have I shaked?
They misunderestimate me.
I am a pitbull on the pantleg of opportunity.

I know that the human being and the fish can coexist.

Families is where our nation finds hope, where our wings take dream.
Put food on your family!
Knock down the tollbooth!
Vulcanize Society!
Make the pie higher! Make the pie higher!


04 Jul 01 - 02:34 PM (#498427)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: R!

If we make the pie higher, will it become pie in the sky? Is Dubya urging us to have food fights with family members? Isn't vulcanization part of the process in making rubber? Why can't we have an eloquent - or at least understandable - leader? Thanks Amos.


04 Jul 01 - 02:45 PM (#498435)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: katlaughing

He is only a Resident and a shrub at that. I cannot even fathom his playing the role which has been cast. This is the first time in my life I have felt so disassociated with politics and our government. It is so surreal, it is as if we are in another dimension and I hope to come to in 3.5 years and find we have gone back to reality. I still find myself numb and shaking my head; talk about teh dumbing down of America!


04 Jul 01 - 03:30 PM (#498461)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

You're jes not properly vulcanized, Kat!! Ya gotta get withal the Program so you're more involuted in things.

A

To vulcanize is an early 20th century term for covering with rubber, patching or melting on a patch onto a tire, and also a step in making rubber tires.

Mister Shrub was looking for a word which sounds similar, with the meaning of stimulate, exsuscitate, inspirit; spirit up, stir up, work up, infuse life into, give new life to, bring new blood, introduce new blood; quicken, sharpen, whet, work upon, incite, motivate, hurry on, give a fillip, fan the fire, fan the flame, blow the coals, stir the embers, fan into a flame, foster, heat, warm, foment, raise to a fever heat, keep up, keep the pot boiling. revive, rekindle and the like, but I can't remember it at the moment! :>)

Something to do with electric frog's legs wasn't it? Vilify, voltify...GALVANIZE!!! He meant we should get off our butts.

A


04 Jul 01 - 03:31 PM (#498463)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Either that or he meant that he was the leading agemt for an invasion by Vulcans.


04 Jul 01 - 03:34 PM (#498466)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: katlaughing

Thanks, Amos, does Spock know about this?


04 Jul 01 - 03:57 PM (#498477)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Dharmabum

I don't not see the hilariousity in this subject****BG****

DB.


04 Jul 01 - 04:25 PM (#498486)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: thosp

if oil is used in the process of vulcanization -- then i'm sure he meant vulcanize! -- you just don't not misundersandinize him!

peace (Y) thosp


04 Jul 01 - 04:28 PM (#498489)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: thosp

of course if oil is used to galvanize people -- then i'm sure he meant that toopeace (Y) thosp


04 Jul 01 - 05:49 PM (#498518)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Little Hawk

And yet some others, of the non-liberal persuasion, find him truly inspiring...a leader of the highest calibre.

Strange how subjective is the human mind...

It sees what it wants to see.

- LH

p.s. Canada's glorious leader, Jean Chretien, has said and done much funnier things than Dubya...you 'Mer'cans have got some catching up to do. Of course, Dubya's got more firepower, no one can deny that, eh?


04 Jul 01 - 07:11 PM (#498560)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Ebbie

Is English for J. Chretien, as it is for Dubya, his second language? D's first one, at his mother's knee, was fairly well articulated, I understand.


04 Jul 01 - 07:42 PM (#498574)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Little Hawk

Oooooo...that's nasty, Ebbie! I think French is Jean's 3rd language, by the sounds of it. He sounds like a bad parody of a quebec lumberjack from a 50's radio comedy show. The quebecois find him even more embarassing than the rest of us do.

He's clearly a clever politician, though...in the strictly political sense. A survivor.

- LH


04 Jul 01 - 09:49 PM (#498625)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Greg F.

That should be carved on his tombstone:

I was a pitbull
On the pantleg of opportunity.

I love it!! Best, Greg


05 Jul 01 - 01:07 AM (#498701)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

LOL guys!! He's more fun to poke in the eye with a sharp stick than a barrel of monkeys!!

A


05 Jul 01 - 01:16 AM (#498706)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: wysiwyg

Remember how I laugh?

I'm doing it.

~S~


05 Jul 01 - 01:18 AM (#498707)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Yep!! I can plumb hear it from here!

You sound like you been vulcanized lately.

A


05 Jul 01 - 06:52 AM (#498820)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Les from Hull

We still use the word vulcanise over here in the UK. It means to stick a patch over something and hope to God it doesn't leak. Isn't that what politicians all over the world are doing?


05 Jul 01 - 03:07 PM (#499149)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: SharonA

Absurd Bush has been too long in the land already. Re-elect Gore in 2004!

SharonA


05 Jul 01 - 04:50 PM (#499248)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: wysiwyg

I been vulcanized, vulgarized, plagiarized, and simonized.

Also, images are tumbling around the phrase "when the rubber met the road."

Oy, my head! *G*

~S~


05 Jul 01 - 09:53 PM (#499453)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: pastorpest

When an American friend e-mailed me the Bush poem "Make the Pie Higher" the following story was included. An old man, around 90 was at the doctor's office to have a laceration stiched up. As the doctor worked they discussed George W's ideas around health care. The old man said that George W was just a post turtle. "What's a post turtle?" asked the doctor.

The old man explained. When you drive down a country road and you see a turtle sitting on a fence post, that is a post turtle. You know he did not get there by himself. You know he does not belong there. He cannot do anything while he is there. And you just want to help the poor thing down.


05 Jul 01 - 10:15 PM (#499472)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

And you know to get up there, something really bizarre musta happened!!! Thet's our Resident!!

A


05 Jul 01 - 10:44 PM (#499485)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Little Hawk

Popeye used to pronounce the word "president" as "presidink". Popeye had a lot of odd "pronunskiations", of course, but I always suspected that the writer of the Popeye comics was engaging in a little social satire, the way the writers of Rocky and Bullwinkle did at a later date...

I love that kind of thing. Walt Kelly was the master of them all when it came to that. Too bad Pogo isn't around now...think of what he would have done with the last American presidential election brouhaha!

"Bark us all bowwows of folly
Rinky Dinky Florida and Kalamazoo
Dubya's freezin' on the trolly
Swaller Dollar Cauliflower Alleygaroo!!!"

- LH


06 Jul 01 - 09:31 AM (#499722)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

"we have met the enemy an' he is them -- I mean him -- no, he is her! No, wait...."

Apocryphal, attributed to Shrub Resident, Washington, D.C.


06 Jul 01 - 11:40 AM (#499837)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Little Hawk

I note that conservative Mudcatters are avoiding this thread the way a pedestrian avoids a pile of dogshit on the sidewalk... :-)

I can only admire their restraint!

- LH


06 Jul 01 - 02:38 PM (#500001)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: wysiwyg

Amos, a friend of mine used a new word today that I think you will like:

Perkatory.

~S~


06 Jul 01 - 02:52 PM (#500018)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Pseudolus

Susan,
Perkatory, isn't that kinda like hell only it takes a lot longer to get a cup of coffee????

LH,
Guess I better go scrape off ma shoes!!!

Frank


06 Jul 01 - 03:21 PM (#500046)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Perkatory is where you go to wait for additional benefits from your day job! In England they spell it "perquatory".

A


08 Jul 01 - 09:33 PM (#501526)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: wysiwyg

No, Perkatory is where you are stuck forEVER (it seems) in limbo with someone who is way too perky.

Where surface cheerfulness masquerades as true joy.

~S~


03 Oct 01 - 08:44 PM (#564595)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Genie

Check out this thread for more Click here


03 Oct 01 - 09:16 PM (#564617)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Paul from Hull

Well, at least Bush is unlikely ever to get plagiarised!!! *G*


04 Oct 01 - 12:01 AM (#564696)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Why should we conservatives participate when you Liberals are having so much fun agreeing with each other, L.H.?

DougR


04 Oct 01 - 01:27 AM (#564726)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Sonja

Doug R,
Do I have to be a "liberal" to make fun of a "conservative?" During the 2000 campaign, I made up a button/bumper sticker saying,
"Al Gore Claps On One And Three."


04 Oct 01 - 08:01 AM (#564861)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,just a nobody

LH

Conservative does not mean they cannot find humor. Besides, I'm just glad we have a president whose major flaw is his way of speaking. If that is all he does wrong while in office, it will be a refreshing change. Keep your fingers crossed that speeches are all he screws up on while in office.


04 Oct 01 - 09:23 AM (#564905)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: guinnesschik

Isn't it an intellegent decision to avoid a pile of dogshit on the sidewalk?

*G*


04 Oct 01 - 10:18 AM (#564944)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Troll

NO! It's:
Bark us all bow wows of folly
Polly wolly cracker an' toodle-loo
Chilly willies filly's lollygagin' on the waggin' willy folly-go-through...

troll


04 Oct 01 - 05:51 PM (#565221)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: SharonA

And a "Walla Walla Washington and Kalamazoo" to you too!

Today I heard a sound bite of Bush pronouncing the name of the country "Afphffphghanistan".

I'm certain that there have been other Presidents who were not great public speakers... and I could find his "flaw" easier to take if only I didn't abhor his policies. What scares me is that about half the voters in the country LIKE what he has to say...


04 Oct 01 - 06:09 PM (#565240)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: SINSULL

Actually, Vulcan was a Roman god based on the Greek Hephaestus who finding his wife in the arms of a lover fashioned a web around the two and put them on display for the other gods' amusement. Sounds more like Clinton than Bush. But which Clinton?


04 Oct 01 - 06:25 PM (#565248)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Nope, you don't, Sonja. :>)

Do you miss Pogo too, SharonA?

DougR


04 Oct 01 - 08:52 PM (#565331)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

The only reason to miss Pogo -- well, the best one -- is the fear of forgetting the greatest Pogo image of all time -- Albert wrassling himself into knots and finally biting his own tail, while Pogo shakes his head sadly and intones, "We have met the enemy an' he is US!!"


04 Oct 01 - 10:10 PM (#565352)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Troll

I miss Reagan. Hell, I even miss Ike. And if things get much worse, I may even miss FDR.

But I REALLY miss Pogo.

*sigh*

troll


05 Oct 01 - 12:20 AM (#565430)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

And Bloom County!

DougR


05 Oct 01 - 09:59 AM (#565626)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

I have another creative idea. One could create a comedy series by combining re-enactments of great moments in the Democratic party. In skit number one, Bill Clinton clumsily tries to both vote and have sex with a girl half his age at the same time. While in the throes of passion, he accidentally punches the wrong portion of the ballot. He discovers the next day that he has lost the election by one vote. He seeks an outlet for his frustration by sexually harassing one his female staff members. The end.

Stay tuned for skit two. Its entitled: Clinton tries to direct an attack on terrorists while getting serviced by Monica Lewinski. He accidentally levels an aspirin factory and enrages the entire Moslem world.


05 Oct 01 - 02:39 PM (#565796)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Don't look for high ratings for your scenarios on the Mudcat, Ozzie. :>)

DougR


05 Oct 01 - 03:21 PM (#565820)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

I don't doubt it. A master zing like that has got to be a bitter pill for the people who can dish it out but can't take it.


05 Oct 01 - 03:46 PM (#565828)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: SharonA

Yes, DougR, I do miss Pogo. Although Walt Kelly's "We has met the enemy and he is us" is indeed a classic line of epic proportions, my favorite "bit" was the (almost) monthly commemoration of Friday the Thirteenth (the day, not the movie!):

"Friday the Thirteenth comes on a [Monday, Tuesday, etc.] this month"

...and, of course, all the animals would hide in fear and refuse to come out of their homes when Friday the Thirteenth came on a Friday!


05 Oct 01 - 04:30 PM (#565869)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Skit three: Al Gore loses his second bid at the presidency following Bush's first term. This is largely due to a lack of campaign funds because of Al's unsuccessful lawsuit to claim royalties for the internet that everyone knows he invented. Al also complains about voting irregularities due to the introduction of new ballotting machines. Al claims that they are more complicated than the original model that he claims to have invented as well.


05 Oct 01 - 08:30 PM (#566013)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Ozzie:

Be fair. Al Gore never said he invented the Internet. And the problem with the voting machines was not that they were new, but that they were old. And the issue of complexity was a problem with the ballot design, not the machines. And these are not "master zings" by a long measure and about as hard to swallow as sawdust. And for the same reasons.


05 Oct 01 - 09:08 PM (#566029)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Sorry Amos, but Al's tendency to stretch the truth is well documented. The fact that you did not even understand the line about the voting machines (as well as your sawdust metaphor) indicate that you are too obtuse to realize when you are getting zinged. Let me take a lucky guess and say that you voted in Florida. What is so sad is that the poem (or whatever) to mock Bush is actually childish and insignificant in the greater scheme of things, whereas the events that my skits are based upon are far more revealing. But look on the bright side, people like you have 3.5 years to learn how to operate a simple ballot machine.


06 Oct 01 - 01:21 AM (#566109)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Genie

Right, Ozzie,
Gore never used the word "invent". Especially in government, one can "create" something (e.g., a cabinet post, a committee, an agency, etc.) in a sense that has nothing to do with "inventing." All he said (which may or may not be entirely true) is that he "took the iniative in creating" the internet. That could mean he was one of the first to propose government funding for research into it, or something like that.

It was largely the so-called "liberal press/media" that distorted his words and perpetuated the myth about his having "claimed to have invented the internet." Even folks like Sam Donaldson, George Stefanopolous, and the commentators on CNN kept joking about and referring to that.

I must admit that so far I am pleasantly surprised by G W B's handling of the terrorist situation (he's keeping the right wing pit bulls on a leash for the moment), and for the sake of the country, I hope he continues to grow into the job. But I still think the media have been easier on him than they were on Gore, both before the election and, especially, after it.

Genie


06 Oct 01 - 01:46 AM (#566115)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Well, Genie, I guess both sides always feel the press is biased abainst the "other side." You have a right to feel the press was easy on GWB, but I, being on the "other side" cannot fanthom what evidence exists to prove that it's so.

Ozzie: Slow down, a bit friend. Amos hasn't been insulting to you or anything. You may not agree with him but we're only writing opinions here, you know.


06 Oct 01 - 02:56 AM (#566126)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST

You're right, Doug, the bias is always more noticeable when it's against your side and in favor of the other. It's not that I think the press is necessarily hard on liberals or democrats. Rather, the rap that the press is "liberal" is a bum one.
The media want to make money and are primarily owned by large corporations. Thus, they are not likely to have a populist bias, much less an anti-consumerist bias. I was just pointing out that the media were not easy on Gore. Just as they're not pro-environmentalism, pro-small-business, etc.
They do sometimes make fun of Bush's mangling of the English language, but in the case of Gore, they misquoted him and widely perpetuated the misquote and misrepresentation.
I have seen/heard the media do this often, in relation to many people and stories--i.e., misquote, distort, etc., when their goal seems only to be brevity or titillation, and accuracy be damned.
Genie


06 Oct 01 - 08:36 AM (#566180)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

'We Will Fail' Verbal Slip By Bush Draws No Reaction LATimes.com 10-5-1

Clearly, President Bush didn't mean it. Winding up a speech, Bush said America will be tough and resolute to defeat terrorists so future generations can live in peace. "And there is no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail," the president said. His audience at the Labor Department did not react. Bush, known to make occasional verbal gaffes, continued in a positive vein: "Failure is not a part of our vocabulary. This great nation will lead the world and we will be successful." http://www.latimes.com/news/


06 Oct 01 - 09:40 AM (#566193)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Ozzie:

Dunno why you want to get personal and insulting and all! I was merely pointing out the empirical truth that your communications style has all the grace of misaligned bandsaw, and the output is about as useful.

However, if you are in a foul temper or dyspeptic, I suggest the fish recipe.

Perch and rotate.

Best rgeards,

A.


06 Oct 01 - 03:45 PM (#566326)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Amos et al have pretty much proved the point that I was trying to make. It is easy to take rather insignificant snippets from someone's speech or behavior and constantly harp about it until it has the potential to undermine that person. Of course gore has never really lied, but he has made some statements (the internet is an example) that were open to criticism. Ditto for Clinton's conduct. The moral is that taking partisan shots at Bush's minor flaws opens the floor for comparisons with those who preceded him. People like Amos et al then find themselves defending their man (party) against criticisms that (like those directed toward Bush) are pretty much irrelevant. I would hope, that with a small does of objectivity, that some of you will understand this. But alas, I fear that I am preaching to the deaf.


06 Oct 01 - 04:17 PM (#566346)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Yep, Ozzie, I think you're probably right.

DougR


06 Oct 01 - 04:40 PM (#566357)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Ozzie:

You misunderestimate me grievously. I am all for Bush's performance to date since the attacks. If you followed my posts you would see that. All I said was, be accurate in your statements. Sorry you think I represent your targets in whatever it is you are trying to do here, but I wish you would stop generalizing about people "like" me. There aren't many -- I keep it that way intentionally. Highly select group, donchaknow.

Why not send in an application? You might get lucky!! :>)

A


06 Oct 01 - 04:45 PM (#566360)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Lepus Rex

How is it irrelevant that the so-called president is a cretin? He can't even pronounce 'Pervez Musharraf?' I could teach a fucking budgie to say that. But Bush calls him 'The Pakistani leader.'

And did he actually refer to Muslim women as 'women of cover?' Good fucking God...

And Clinton may have done some stupid things during his reign, but at least he didn't substitute the word 'them' with 'uhm' in his speeches. ('Wur gonna get uhm') And he actually WAS a poor hillbilly-type who could have talked like that and sounded natural. Bush is just some rich hillbilly wannabe, which is SAD.

---Lepus Rex, Clinton/Bush/Gore hater.


06 Oct 01 - 05:29 PM (#566378)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Lepus,

You simply don't get it. In your eyes, a tendency to mispronounce words (or more specifically to speak in one's regional dialect on occasion) is far more damning than legitimate character flaws such as those exhibited by Clinton. Sorry but that line of thinking is just not rational. A good example of this is your use of the term cretin. It is as innaccurate and nonapplicable as your overall logic. Dwelling on wordsmithing rather than performance leads to the very dilemma that I discussed above.

As for Amos, I was simply arguing (perhaps a bit overzealously) that there is a kernel of accuracy in my skits, but that to exagerate and dwell upon such minor things is simply counterproductive in a time such as this. In that regard, I felt justified in lumping you in with the others for the sake of discussion.


06 Oct 01 - 05:37 PM (#566386)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Lepus Rex

If Bush's inability to pronounce simple words is a 'regional dialect' thing, then I really don't think I was off-base when I blamed cretinism... :)

---Lepus Rex


06 Oct 01 - 05:51 PM (#566396)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Excellent logic. Following that rationale, the extreme fundamentalists that i heard calling Clinton the Anti-Christ were making sense. Likewise. Rush Limbaugh was accurate in calling gore a pathological liar. You are in good company my boy/girl.


06 Oct 01 - 06:45 PM (#566414)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: catspaw49

Bush has had problems in his speeches and you know the handlers are nervous everytime he goes "off the cuff." Clinton was far better on his feet and although that does not mean he was more intelligent, it makes him seem so. Bush is no great intellectual and his education and understanding in many areas is not what I'd like to see, but he has been smart enough to surround himself with very intelligent people and although I may disagree with their beliefs, they are experienced and very smart people.

So Ozzie, you got anything to add here musically or have you just come here to wave your dick?

Spaw


06 Oct 01 - 07:42 PM (#566434)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Nancy King

Donuel -- I noticed that one too. Sheesh, what if MOSES had left out all the "nots"?

Cheers, Nancy


06 Oct 01 - 07:43 PM (#566435)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Lepus Rex

That's not following my rationale, Ozzie. I was saying that most Texans are inbred, subhuman, pistol-totin' cattle-fuckers, and that George Bush fits right in down there with his so-called 'regional dialect.' Get it straight, man. :)

---Lepus REX. Yes, 'rex' would indicate that I am a 'boy.'


06 Oct 01 - 08:09 PM (#566449)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Gloredhel

Lepus, please shut the hell up about Texans. Most of 'em happen to be nice people, as I know from experience. It's just that hot weather that fries their brains sometimes. And it isn't Ozzie's fault that he doesn't know enough Latin to tell the difference between genders. Not everyone is the product of a classical education.

Believe me, conservatives can laugh at Bush too. I go to a school almost exclusively populated by conservatives, and we laugh all the time, but support some of the ideals behind it. It is pretty funny.


06 Oct 01 - 08:16 PM (#566451)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: catspaw49

Actually, Lepus used to be a guy, but he had a sex change. However, now he cross-dresses because he realized that as a woman he might get hit on by asses like Ozzie.

Spaw


06 Oct 01 - 08:48 PM (#566465)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Catspaw: The fact that you confused this thread with a music discussion is a good indication of your intellectual capacity. Given your preference for words like dick and cross-dressing, I would have assumed that on a night like this you would be cruising the highway rest areas rather than sitting at the computer.

Lepuss, I know what Rex means, but given your incorrect use of words like cretin, i wasn't sure that you do. That's why I had to use the Mr/Mrs. However, considering your various juvenile comments, I now have no doubt that you are, in your own words, a BOY. Nobody could actually be this stupid, so I assume that you are pretending in order to do a little trolling. So, I'm not going to waste any more time on you. However, I might be willing to pay for a motel room for you and Catspaw if it will get you off this message board for a while.


06 Oct 01 - 08:58 PM (#566466)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

Speaking of embarrassing presidential quotes ; When Clinton was viewing the newly discovered mummy of a young lady found in the Andes he said with a wink and licentious grin " Ya know...she looks pretty good to me."

Y'all who claim Bush is merely using the colloquialisms of Texans - you are doing a dis-service to real Texans.


06 Oct 01 - 08:59 PM (#566467)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Lepus Rex

Aw, Gloredhel, you're actually making me feel like bad for all those NICE Texans that I maligned. You're right, most Texans are nice (but violent) people who happen to enjoy bad country-pop music, NASCAR, and Western-style attire. ;) (Note to violent video game-making Texans: my pic is located HERE!)

Ozzie: Ha-ha. You got me. I bow down before the king of comedy.

But how WAS my use of 'cretin' incorrect, anyway?

---Lepus Rex


06 Oct 01 - 09:04 PM (#566470)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: catspaw49

Hey man, I'm up to anything with Lepus and if you're paying Oz, I'm all for it!!!

I was just wondering if you had noticed that most of the threads here are music related and virtually all of us have an interest in folk music. I can tell that your "Message Board" remark indicates that you are simply the ass I figured you for to begin with. I wasn't completely sure, but now I'll simply treat you as the horseshit troll you are and stop flaming you and just ignore you. Thanks for clearing up any misgivings I may have had.

Spaw


07 Oct 01 - 09:53 AM (#566719)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

I don't believe Mr. Bush's "gaffes" have anything at all to do with regional speech idiosyncrasies or idiom.. The kinds of mistakes he makes seems to point to some form of cognitive dysfunction like dyslexia or, more likely, some form aphasia. We should not leap to the conclusion though that his lapses in articulation indicate lapses in clarity of thought. It may be your opinion that his ideas and thought processes are limited or muddled, but it is a mistake to point to his verbalizations as proof. From what I have read, many folks with these sorts of maladies usually have their thought quite clearly formed in their mind, but have trouble quickly constructing a logical sentence to express it. I spent a little time examining the examples listed in the posts above, trying to identify and analyze the types of mistakes he makes. I came up with the following: Double Negatives Most people can handle the use of double negatives quite easily. Triple negatives usually start getting confusing, and beyond that, of course, is just obfuscation. Simple Negative: "It's not raining." Double Negative: "It's not true that it's not raining." Triple Negative: "I don't believe it's not true that it's not raining." (huh?) A number of Mr. Bush's gaffes seem to stem from an inability to formulate a double negative. Take his recent sentence: "And there is no doubt in my mind, not one doubt in my mind, that we will fail,". In his mind, he had two thoughts to express (1) We will not fail, and (2) I have no doubt of it. Both of these are negatives. As he tries to concatenate them into a single sentence, he momentarily loses track of how many negatives must be present, and where, to express his thought. Look at another: "They misunderestimate me." His mind wanted to say something like "Do not incorrectly estimate me." He started out with "Do not--", a negative, and then his mind started searching for the negative prefix to "estimate". There are a number of negative prefixes he probably scanned, like "un-", "dis-", and "non-" and finally settled in "mis-", but as soon as he had verbalized "mis-" he realized it was incorrect. If you listened closely, you would have heard a slight pause before he added "underestimate". Unfortunately, the word came out as "misunderestimate," making his sentence a triple negative and reversed it's meaning. It was interesting that he used the word several times in a row, pausing ever so slightly between "mis" and "under" indicating that he fell into the same trap each time, and knew it. I thought I detected a slight wince of irritation flick across his face each time. Incorrect use of intensifiers An intensifier is an adjective meant to increase a quality of another word. In "very fast" the word "very" intensifies "fast." Now look at Bush's statement "Will the highways of the Internet become more few?" Here he uttered the intensifier "more" before he had selected the word to which it would be applied. No good word popped into his mind so he had to use the pathetic "more few" instead of "fewer". Although "more few" is perfectly logical, it is laughably awkward. Jabberwocky You know the poem: "Twas brillig, and the slithy toves did gyre and gimble in the wabe: all mimsy were the borogoves, and the mome raths outgrabe." You don't know the definition of "slithy" but you know you don't like it because you immediately recognize it as a combination of "slimy" and "slithery". Mr. Bush seems to do this unintentionally as in his "Vulcanize society!" I'm sure he is perfectly familiar with the definition of "vulcanize" but his mind is thinking "vitalize" and "galvanize" simultaneously, so what comes out is "vulcanize." He does this with sentences as well: "put food on your family!" is a mis-merging of "Feed your Family" and "Put food on their plates". His statement "It's a world of madmen and uncertainty and potential mental losses." Is clearly an incomplete merging of two ideas but without the context it was used in it's hard to understand what the "potential mental losses" refers to. (I hope not his own!)

Perhaps some of the statements of Mr. Bush are unfairly laughed at. For example, "I think we all agree, the past is over." Sure, it seems absurd because it's so obvious. So is "What's done is done" yet it's been repeated countless times. So is "A rose is a rose is a rose". That's pretty obvious, wouldn't you say? Although I'm not an expert grammarian, "This is still a dangerous world." and "Rarely is the question asked" seem like perfectly good sentences to me.

____________________________________________________________

Verbal dyslexia is prevelant in the Bush family and is most severe in the Bush son that we don't here about , except for his Silverado banking scandel.

Aphasia (depending upon its degree) however could cloud more than words but could cloud judgement, sense of self and even a sense of time. _____________________________________________

Here is my above post in Bush talk:

Verble disilexia is prelevant in the Bush family and is most severe in the son we hear about ...except not ..make no mistake about it , not in the Silverado banking scandel.

Aphasia ,depends on its degree, clud cloud judgment sensing self and even a sense of times. __________________________________________

Make no mistake about it . As a fan of Norm Crosby I get a kick out of Bush speak.


07 Oct 01 - 02:45 PM (#566882)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Donuel: Interesting post. I suppose, though, if Bush's speech is a result of a handicap, it would be unkind to ridicule him for it then, wouldn't it?

DougR


07 Oct 01 - 02:50 PM (#566886)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Catspaw, you really aren't the brightest bulb are you. My comment was in regards to your sarcastic comment about whether i planned to discuss music. It was stupid because, as you still seemed to be confused about, this PARTICULAR thread has not dealt with music. Now, I am not going to waste any further time with you because it is now obvious that i can kick your ass in terms of intellectual discourse or in swapping insults...

As for some of you amateur linguists, some of the criticisms directed toward Bush IS because of his regional speech patterns. Since most of you seem to be arguing the opposite based on uninformed opinion, you might find various issues of the acdemic journal American Speech to be informative. On another note, Andy Rooney is in the process of preparing a public apology to Bush. That's because he said that Bush isn't smart (or something to that effect) because Bush referred to Taliban HARBORS. Since Rooney knows that Afghanistan is landlocked, he ridiculed this use of the word. However, it was soon brought to his attention that within the context of Bush' speech, Harbor indicated santuary or place of refuge. Sometimes trying to split linguistic hairs at someone else's expense can backfire. A lesson for all of you would be wordsmiths.


07 Oct 01 - 03:08 PM (#566897)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

Oh ozzie , allmighty master of casustic sarcasm we bow our little heads in deference to your unfathomable wit.

Yes we will all apolgize and accept the infinite wisdom of the president select GWB.

Some of us will not have the opportunity to apologize. For example the show Politically Incorrect is now banned in the Wash.DC area and is no longer carried by the local affiliates.


07 Oct 01 - 05:28 PM (#566990)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Are you suggesting that PI was banned in D. C. by the government, Donuel? That's outrageous!

DougR


07 Oct 01 - 05:41 PM (#566995)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Donuel,

You should say wit and intellect. People such as you can't effectively engage me in either instance. If you can ever distinguish between Bush's actions and his speech patterns, people might start taking you seriously.

Later harmless....


07 Oct 01 - 05:48 PM (#566999)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Paul from Hull

You have a rather high opinion of yourself, dont you, Ozzie?

Care to try & show us why that is?


07 Oct 01 - 05:56 PM (#567008)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Well, if you would take time to read the various messages above, you would see that I provided some telling commentary in regards to partisan-based nitpicking. Rather than address that, several people have chosen to be wiseasses. I out-wise-assed them. That suggests to me that some of the regulars on this thread (and I said THREAD Catspaw, not message board) are inept at both informed intellectual discussion and playing the dozens (so to speak). Under such circumstances my self-opinion seems to soar for some reason....Thats why.


07 Oct 01 - 06:15 PM (#567022)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Troll

Be careful Ozzie. You keep pickin' on the kids, you gonna make the BIG folks notice you.
Just a word of caution from your friendly neighborhood

troll


07 Oct 01 - 06:17 PM (#567024)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

Sponsorship was removed from the show Politically Incorrect in the DC/MD/Virginia area. Government involvement could be oblique at best if at all.

Sorry ozzie, I could't resist your open invitation for sarcasm regarding your vast "ass kicking" intellectual resources *G*


07 Oct 01 - 06:34 PM (#567044)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Donuel, you are going to be sarcastic no matter what, so it is a moot point. As for Troll, I am THE big boy. If you feel like a frog, hop. Otherwise, get back on the porch with the other little dogs....


07 Oct 01 - 06:40 PM (#567048)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

Whoa , I think you have the hiccoughs.


07 Oct 01 - 06:44 PM (#567055)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: GUEST,Ozzie

Thanks Donuel, you have just helped to prove my point about the lack of serious intellectual engagement in this thread. Next....


07 Oct 01 - 06:53 PM (#567062)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Skeptic

Well, in the spirit of skits, how about this one:

Bush goes on National TV in March, after months of criticism about not having press conferences, and promises to have at least once such press conference a month. Then we do the calendar flipping thing with the empty White House Press Room in the background for April, May, June and July. For August we could cut to a picture of an empty podium with the Presidential seal silhouetted against the Texas plains. Not sure how to deal with September as he's had his spokesmen and Cabinet handle the press. Save it for part two, I guess.

Just a thought.

The Clinton and Gore skits were (IMO)....... cute. Trite, second (or third) hand derivatives of an overdone theme and basically boring. Something on the pardons would have been more creative, relevant and substantive. But then that does open the possibility of counter-skits about Bush Sr and Iran-gate pardons, I suppose.

Regards

John


07 Oct 01 - 07:22 PM (#567072)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

Ozzie, your supposed argument regarding the stewardship and intellect of GWB is merely an exposition of your worshipful adoration of the man fanned by the flames of war. It is premature at best to judge the effective results of his tenure. The rest of your claims are but a hanging chad on a ballot for right wing agendas - not to be counted.


07 Oct 01 - 08:33 PM (#567105)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: DougR

Sponsorship was removed? I assume it was the sponors who pulled the plug then. Well, that's the way our free enterprise system works, isn't it? Sponsors are free to sponsor any program they wish.

Maybe the sponsors were upset about something?

I would think some other sponsor will pick up the show if someone feels it attracks audiences. DougR


07 Oct 01 - 08:43 PM (#567111)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Troll

Ozzie my child, you are not even in the race. If the adults decide that giving you your comeupance is worthy of the effort, rest assured that you will be aware of it.
So far your efforts and posturings have been spirited if a trifle pretentious, but that's to be expected, I suppose.

troll


07 Oct 01 - 09:35 PM (#567128)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Genie

Donuel,
Did you catch GWB's pronouncement on Oct 2, 01 that "This Thursday, ticket counters and airlines will fly out of Ronald Reagan airport"?

Ozzie, lighten up. People joked about the Reverend Spooner's verbal juxtapositions and books have been written about Yogi Berra-isms. Regardless of whether you like his politics or not, Bush invites teasing and comic skits when he continually butchers the langugage. As Donuel said, "I get a kick out of Bush speak."

I would not have minded Al Gore's being kidded about "inventing the internet,"--if the media had not contributed so widely to the public belief that he actually claimed that.
Gore did tend to exaggerate or mis-speak (like when he referred to "President James Knox," presumably meaning President Jamds Knox Polk). But Gore's opponents unfairly charged him with habitually lying (e.g., the internet-invention charge) or being ignorant (e.g., when Michael Medved made fun of him for the "President Knox" quote without acknowledging that there was a president named James Knox Polk. Big difference between twisting the name of an actual president and fabricating a presidential identity!)

If people insinuate that Bush is stupid because he mangles the language, they are drawing an unfair inference. But please let us get our laughs from his linguistic 'fox paws' (to use a redneck term). Gore--to his political disadvantage, I fear--chose to laugh with the jokes about the internet rather than defend himself against the charge. Bush seems to be able to laugh with us at his verbal slips, and that's good.

FWIW, I have noticed a lot of people -- callers to talk shows, news anchors, and other public personalities making linguistic goofs recently. I am tempted to start a thread to share those, just for laughs. Many of them are as funny as the funniest mondegreens. Here is just one that I heard recently:
I can't recall the context, but a woman called in to a talk show to say "I'd like to offer my Kujos" to somebody for their accomplishments.
I don't want to post them here, because they'll get lost, but I have started collecting them, and not just from GWB. I think it's a hypodermic ...er, I mean epidemic.
Genie


07 Oct 01 - 09:57 PM (#567143)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Troll

Genie, Al Gore also claimed that he and Tipper were the inspiration for the couple in "Love Story". Even after the author said they were not, Gore kept trying to spin it to make it look like he had SOME input.
He has an unfortunate tendency to try to make himself -as T.R. was supposedly wont to do- the bride at every wedding and the corpse at every funeral.
He even claimed to have been involved with the design of the inter-state highway system. His father was one of the architects of the enabeling legislation, and Al watched him work on it, even accompanying his father to the hearings.
He would have been between 7 and 10 at the time.
A highly precocious lad.

troll


07 Oct 01 - 11:50 PM (#567186)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

"Daddy why don't you make those ramps lok like THIS???", said the knee high lad earnestly, holding up a four-leaf clover he had just found in the lawn.

"By George son!! I think you've hit on the answer!!! The President will be proud of you!!"


07 Oct 01 - 11:51 PM (#567187)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Amos

Ozzie:

'Bout as big as a pair of used knickers with nobody in 'em, I would say.

Try manners. Works better.

A


06 Dec 06 - 05:20 PM (#1901869)
Subject: RE: Absurd in the Land, Too Long in the Bush
From: Donuel

Today "We will look at the options for going forward in Iraq and act in a timely fashion."

"A timely fashion"
In the UK that would be "in the fullness of time"