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10 Oct 01 - 09:43 AM (#568911) Subject: Stating the Obvious From: GUEST,MC Fat For years I've been using mainly the following well known phrase. 'Is the Pope a Catholic?' however there are others like : 'Does the Bear shit in the woods?'. Q magazine a few years had a list of some new ones and the only ones I can remember are 'Does Dolly Parton sleep on her back?' and 'Is Salman Rushdie's phone number ex-directory?' any body got any new ones? |
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10 Oct 01 - 09:45 AM (#568913) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Linda Kelly Does a chicken have lips? |
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10 Oct 01 - 10:08 AM (#568936) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Crazy Eddie Would a hungry dog eat meat? Would a cat drink milk? Does Methuselah have wrinkled balls? Can a fish swim? |
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10 Oct 01 - 10:14 AM (#568940) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: mousethief I saw a play once ("How I Got That Story" --forget playwright's name) where one of the characters spoke in these very, very colorful metaphors. The one that really sticks in my mind (obviously for when the answer is "no" not "yes") is, "Does a pig shit ice cream?" another I really like is: Is the Pope Polish? Mostly in my family, when someone asks a ridiculously obvious question, the sarcastic resoponse takes the form of "No, I'm just -----" (where the ----- is something ridiculously unlikely) For example:
Are you eating the apple I saved for my lunch? Alex
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10 Oct 01 - 10:25 AM (#568948) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Jack the Sailor Does Mudcat have music? Does Mudcat have controversy? Does Mudcat have fun? |
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10 Oct 01 - 10:49 AM (#568970) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: The_one_and_only_Dai A subspecies of the 'stating the obvious' aphorism is the 'this item is completely useless' - viz. 'It's as much use as a catflap in a submarine' or a 'one-legged man in an arse-kicking contest' or 'a chocolate teapot'. |
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10 Oct 01 - 10:51 AM (#568973) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: GUEST Yes, but let's NOT start that all over again... |
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10 Oct 01 - 10:58 AM (#568979) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: mousethief Yes, we've had at least 3 threads on that in the last 6 months! But I'll be jiggered if I can find any, having looked for a while -- anybody remember the thread titles? Alex |
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10 Oct 01 - 10:58 AM (#568980) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: GUEST,MC Fat Sorry guest- Pork Chop at a Jewish Wedding, Chocolate Fireguard, Ice Cream to Eskimos |
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10 Oct 01 - 11:01 AM (#568981) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull bacon sandwitch at a barmitzah. |
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10 Oct 01 - 11:47 AM (#569014) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: SDShad Tits on a boar hog. My favorite, from my father's childhood: as useful as a whip-socket on a Model A. Shad |
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10 Oct 01 - 11:57 AM (#569020) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: The_one_and_only_Dai N O ! he said DON'T START THAT AGAIN!!! honestly, it's like waving a red rag at abull - oh oh, here we go... |
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10 Oct 01 - 12:09 PM (#569028) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: wysiwyg I think at my best it was, "A funeral! What, did somebody DIE?" Well, the kids had caught me off guard when they said the high school had let them out midday to go to a funeral. But now we use it whenever we want to comment on something being so obvious we can't see it. ~Susan
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10 Oct 01 - 02:03 PM (#569125) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Dead Horse Try "Is bin Laden ex-directory? or "Are the Taliban a bunch of she-ites? |
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10 Oct 01 - 02:23 PM (#569146) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: catspaw49 Is a frog's ass watertight? The smartass variant on this type of thing where I grew up was different in that when someone asked you the obvious, you changed it....ie, there was a big football game on Friday night and you're all standing around talking about it when an asshole asks, "So are you going Friday night?" "Yeah, we're goin' out to Jimmy Scaffidi's and play bocci ball man."........a short pause while the guy ponders this......"Of course we're going to the game you fockin' dumbass." You dredge up spmething totally absurd and throw it in instead......and then belittle the guy for asking. Typical "cut" humor. Spaw |
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10 Oct 01 - 06:11 PM (#569307) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Gary T My favorite is a combination of the first two--"Does the Pope shit in the woods?" Absurd in itself, it works because most people have heard the other two. |
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10 Oct 01 - 06:19 PM (#569314) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Little Hawk Does Bob Dylan write songs? Can William Shatner act? Does Spock have pointed ears? Is Yassir Arafat Palestinian? Am I going on too long? - LH |
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10 Oct 01 - 06:42 PM (#569332) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: catspaw49 Does Bob Dylan write songs? No, he writes poetry which is accompanied by tunes, many of them stolen, some original. A better question might be, "Does Bob generate controversy?"
Can William Shatner act?
Does Spock have pointed ears?
Is Yassir Arafat Palestinian?
Am I going on too long? Spaw
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10 Oct 01 - 06:51 PM (#569339) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: SINSULL From my son: How do like your coffee? In a cup, fool! (courtesy of MrT and the A-team) Does this even fit this thread????? |
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10 Oct 01 - 06:59 PM (#569347) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: catspaw49 Yeah, why not? Kinda' comes under the old "Mad Magazine" heading of Snappy Answers to Stupid Questions.
"Have a wreck?"
Guy loading suitcases into his car, passerby asks, Spaw |
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10 Oct 01 - 07:01 PM (#569350) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: BanjoRay At a bar the other night a couple of guys were talking. One says "Been golfing today?", and the other puts on a sad expression and says "I had to go to a funeral". I nearly said "so you got a hole in one then!" but I came close to biting my tongue off preventing it coming out - it was a close run thing. Cheers |
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10 Oct 01 - 07:04 PM (#569354) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Snuffy I thought it was going to be the one about the two guys golfing when a funeral procession goes by. One stops playing, removes his cap, and solemnly stands in silence as the cortege goes by. The other says "That's very decent of you, old chap" "Least I could do. She was a good wife to me" |
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10 Oct 01 - 07:05 PM (#569355) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Bill D "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" ....he's Polish, isn't he? |
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10 Oct 01 - 07:07 PM (#569358) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Mike Byers "Does a bull 'gator roar?" I think this one is from Florida. |
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10 Oct 01 - 09:35 PM (#569441) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Pelrad I've always used "Does the Pope shit in the woods," and somewhere I still have a photo I had to clip from a newspaper: The Pope, on a visit to the US, walking down a hill out of a copse of trees...with his cassock hiked up. ;-) |
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11 Oct 01 - 01:26 AM (#569556) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Liz the Squeak I've always put it as 'do bears crap in the Vatican?', which had Micca rolling on the floor the first time I did it accidentally. Oh and on papish things - 'Does the Pope have a balcony?' 'Is the Pope Jewish?' (well he wears a little yemucha) 'Are rabbits glad bears use Charmin?' (from an advert for Charmin loo paper, where bears crap in the woods with a roll of this paper nearby, and from the joke - bear to rabbit 'Does shit stick to your fur?' Rabbit to bear - 'No, why?' Bear grabs rabbit and wipes his bum with it.) LTS |
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11 Oct 01 - 04:23 AM (#569609) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: GUEST,MC Fat Would love to see that photo of the Pope Pelrad. I suppose a sicko version could be 'Does Elvis like Hamburgers !!' |
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11 Oct 01 - 04:45 AM (#569613) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Linda Kelly If you stated something completely obvious we used to say 'Queen Anne is dead ' -but then i do come fro an odd family! |
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11 Oct 01 - 10:53 AM (#569752) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Jack the Sailor Does God make those little green apples? Does it rain in Indianapolis........in the summertime? |
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11 Oct 01 - 11:18 AM (#569773) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: sian, west wales Does Howdy Doody have a wooden ass? (UK version: substitute Muffin the Mule) sian |
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11 Oct 01 - 11:21 AM (#569777) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: catspaw49 Actually, it rains more in Indy in the late Spring. This generally screws up the schedule for the 500. After the 500 is over and summer arrives, it don't matter a whit whether it rains in Indianapolis or not. Spaw |
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11 Oct 01 - 03:05 PM (#569939) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: ScottyG |
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11 Oct 01 - 03:10 PM (#569942) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: DougR "is fat meat greasy?" DougR |
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11 Oct 01 - 03:39 PM (#569972) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Long Firm Freddie Is water wet? LFF |
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11 Oct 01 - 03:53 PM (#569982) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Jack the Sailor Are clichés Boring? |
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11 Oct 01 - 03:59 PM (#569987) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Bat Goddess Do cats have wings? (Actually they do; they just keep them neatly folded on their back when not in use.) Written in large bold letters on an arm cast: "Hell yes, I broke my arm!" (Probably in response to the hundreth stating of the obvious.) Or when someone asks, "Were you asleep?" (Or, "Did I wake you?" -- "No, I was asleep anyway.") Bat Goddess |
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11 Oct 01 - 04:31 PM (#570026) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Liz the Squeak (Voice on the phone) Were you asleep? No I had to get up to answer the phone.... LTS |
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12 Oct 01 - 05:59 AM (#570350) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Whippet Are Morris Dancers Prats ? Ha ! Ha! |
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12 Oct 01 - 12:57 PM (#570606) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: kendall useless as a pig skin Koran. |
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12 Oct 01 - 02:31 PM (#570699) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Paul from Hull Sorry Kendall, did you say Koran or Bodhran? *WG* |
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12 Oct 01 - 04:13 PM (#570749) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: GUEST,frankie "Cow piss on a flat rock?" which of course has evolved into "Pope piss...?" |
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12 Oct 01 - 05:21 PM (#570805) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Mr Red I just misread the thread.... I thought you were all stating the obverse. **BG** |
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15 Oct 01 - 05:04 PM (#572765) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: brid widder as much use as a fart in a thunderstorm |
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15 Oct 01 - 06:57 PM (#572866) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Gareth Over heard in Pippins (see LLanstock) "Do beer drinkers visit the Loo (John/Dunekin) at night ?" Gareth |
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15 Oct 01 - 09:59 PM (#573012) Subject: RE: BS: Stating the Obvious From: Melani Variation--"Is the bear Catholic?"
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