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BS: Dubya and the turkey

20 Nov 01 - 08:19 AM (#596256)
Subject: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

If anyone wonders why the Prez pardoned the turkey, they only have to look at the cover photo of today's UK Guardian (sadly not in the online version) where the turkey is , ahem, inspecting his groin area with its beak, and this is in public not the oval office. I understand the turkey isn't going to wash its feathers but ask its mama to store them in the fridge.
A White House spokesperson said "It was a female turkey, nothing deviant about Mr Bush".
RtS

20 Nov 01 - 09:11 AM (#596303)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Fiolar

Do you think this would be a good time to play "Turkey Knob" or maybe "Turkey in the Straw"? :-0

20 Nov 01 - 09:14 AM (#596305)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Jock Morris @ work in Edinburgh

Guess we now know why turkeys are known as gobblers:-)

Scott

20 Nov 01 - 10:10 AM (#596359)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: LR Mole

Rumor is the turkey said,"Kabul,Kabul..."

20 Nov 01 - 10:28 AM (#596367)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: McGrath of Harlow

Roger underestimates the Guardian when he says of this "(sadly not in the online version)"

Click on here for the picture and details of the caption competition the Guardian is having -

This photograph by Kevin Lamarque (Reuters) appeared on the front of the Guardian on November 20 2001 with the following caption: 'A turkey named Liberty takes President Bush by surprise during the annual turkey pardoning event three days before Thanksgiving'.

If you can come up with an even wittier caption, email it to paul.hamilos@guardian.co.uk by Friday November 30 2001. The best entries will appear on the site and a handful of lucky winners will receive a copy of The Guardian Year 2001, an anthology of the paper's best writing, plus The Bedside Years, the best writing from the Guardian 1951-2000, edited by Matthew Engel.

Tip: No marks will be given for the following puns, both of which have already appeared in the Guardian: 'A bird in the Bush' and 'President finds turkey's antics below the belt'

Good luck!

20 Nov 01 - 10:31 AM (#596369)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

More likely I overestimated my ability to search their online site!
RtS

20 Nov 01 - 10:35 AM (#596373)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

I'm sure it wasn't there first thing when I looked, however,redeeming myself by supplying the link that Kevinmeant to: (possibly)
RtS

20 Nov 01 - 10:48 AM (#596383)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Rick Fielding

Ain't it nice to wake up to something that funny? being the inveterate practical joker I am, I yelled in mock alarm to Heather, who was groggily getting out of bed "Bush has been assaulted!" I raced into the bedroom with the photo and she practically rolled on the floor! Seems very "Clinton-esque".....although he would have maintained that the turkey was 'merely a good friend'.

Rick

20 Nov 01 - 11:14 AM (#596405)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49

Other possible captions:

"At least it's not an intern!"

"Somebody gimmee a seegar."

"Go get Laura....I want her to see this."

Spaw

20 Nov 01 - 11:36 AM (#596422)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

...anyone using the word "pecker" will be disqualified...
RtS

20 Nov 01 - 12:04 PM (#596454)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: jeffp

"Oops, sorry! Wrong President."

20 Nov 01 - 12:43 PM (#596477)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Kim C

Heeheehee!

Gobble gobble.

20 Nov 01 - 01:35 PM (#596506)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Marymac90

I don't know what Dubya was doing WITH the turkey. I've always thought that Dubya WAS a turkey!

Marymac

20 Nov 01 - 01:36 PM (#596512)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: sophocleese

"Good Gravy! Where's the stuffing?"

"Now that I have your attention Mr. President, we can discuss the matter of stuffing a sausage up my ass."

20 Nov 01 - 01:52 PM (#596524)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49

Great ones Soph!!!

FROM THE TURKEY:
"Is this guy named Bush or Bobbitt?"
"Where's the beef?"
"The little worm was okay, but the two seeds were mushy."

FROM DUMBYA:
"Why'd we rig that Florida election?"
"I pardoned it, now can I keep it?"

Spaw

20 Nov 01 - 02:05 PM (#596542)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,Roger the skiffler

"What a dumb cluck"
"Yeah but the turkey's smart, went straight for his brains"
RtS

20 Nov 01 - 02:18 PM (#596557)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: SeanM

Simply to be complete, a similar thread was started a while back by DougR...

Help: Who Says?

M

20 Nov 01 - 02:25 PM (#596566)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Bill D

"I hereby declare you FREE, ....Monica"

20 Nov 01 - 03:40 PM (#596623)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST

Turkey: "Hmmmmm... Not nearly as big as Clinton's!"

20 Nov 01 - 04:05 PM (#596648)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,MvGrath of Harlow

Send those in to the Guardian caption competition!

20 Nov 01 - 04:14 PM (#596659)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Liz the Squeak

If you loved me, you'd swallow that.....

LTS

20 Nov 01 - 07:37 PM (#596823)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49

Lots of winners here Gang....

Spaw

20 Nov 01 - 08:06 PM (#596846)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: DougR

There's some funny ones here alright. Thanks for pointing this out to me, Spaw. I had missed it.

DougR

20 Nov 01 - 09:18 PM (#596897)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: CarolC

Liberty taking liberties, eh? Well I say...

Never trust a turkey

20 Nov 01 - 10:55 PM (#596949)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Maybe I don't watch enough TV or read enough of the daily news, but could anyone here enlighten me as to why the "dubya" moniker? Is it a real word? A nickname? I don't get it. Help, please.

20 Nov 01 - 11:16 PM (#596962)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49

Differentiates him from Daddy....George Herbert Walker Bush. The current President is George W.Bush....hence, Dubya or Dumbya

Spaw

20 Nov 01 - 11:49 PM (#596974)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Okay. I've been reading it as doob-ya. Thought it sounded Russian, or something. So it's duh'b yuh. At last I know. Thanks, Spaw.

21 Nov 01 - 12:02 AM (#596977)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Okay. I knew the term "dubya" reminded me of something. Found it under Polish slang. I seemed to remember a saying, "you bet your sweet dupa." Turns out dupa means "ass," or "asshole" in Polish. This apparently refers to the actual hole, not the person. Also there is "dupcia," which means "little ass." This is the same as "cipcia," which translates to "little pussy." This is also sometimes called "dupka." My apologies for this lapse into Polish semantics. I just felt these were certain refinements that would be appreciated by Spaw. The foregoing translations do not necessarily reflect the writer's feelings about our current elected...well whatever.

21 Nov 01 - 05:41 AM (#597040)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Tweed

Dateline Rose Garden..PARDONED TURKEY GIVES THANKS TO COMPASSIONATE U.S. PRESIDENT AT PRESS CONFERENCE AS BUSH PLEDGES TO HUNT DOWN ALL EVILDOERS HAVING SEX WITH REAL WOMEN. And in other news........

21 Nov 01 - 06:49 AM (#597075)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49

Big Daddy, you have added extra meaning to the term! I shall be forever in your debt...LOL!!!

The captions are indeed getting sicker too......

Spaw

21 Nov 01 - 12:52 PM (#597317)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: DougR

Uh, thanks for the Polish language lesson, Big Daddy. I'm sure that will come in handy if any of us ever find ourselves in Poland.

DougR

21 Nov 01 - 01:49 PM (#597361)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Bill D

funny, the Washington Post published a pic of the turkey in a much less porvocative pose...but REFERRED to it's proclivity to stick it's head in the crotches of the suiys nearby...guess their photographer was not quick enough...

21 Nov 01 - 03:33 PM (#597443)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: DougR

The Washington Post might have noted the similarity between that picture and Wild Bill's proclivity for allowing himself to be serviced in in similar fashion in the Oval Office, Bill D. Maybe they didn't want to "bring up" that comparison. :>)

DougR

21 Nov 01 - 03:38 PM (#597448)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: catspaw49

Well ferchrissakes Doug, at least "Wild Bill" had the class to stay within the same species!!!

Spaw

21 Nov 01 - 03:42 PM (#597450)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: LoopySanchez

Perhaps Turkeys have better communication skills than we've given them credit for. I figure that word got around over the past 8 years about what they had to do to get a pardon. And of course the latest turkey just assumes this year's like all the rest...

22 Nov 01 - 01:27 AM (#597739)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Liz the Squeak

Not so much a 'Wild Turkey' as a 'Jim Beam'.....

(You may need to know that a 'Jim Beam' has been used in the UK as a euphemism for a 'stiffy' as in wooden beam - to "get a wood on").

LTS

22 Nov 01 - 02:04 PM (#597863)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: McGrath of Harlow

Does the old proverb about a bird in the bush being worth two in the hand apply in this case?

22 Nov 01 - 04:59 PM (#597886)
Subject: RE: BS: Dubya and the turkey
From: Noreen

Due to the enormous response from the Mudcat, the closing date for the Grauniad's caption competition has been brought forward to Friday 23rd (tomorrow)... so, be like the turkey, get entering!

Quote: And, now that the competition has been running for a while, please, please, please, no more entries on the theme of "Gobble, gobble", "Monica Lewinsky's pet" or Whitehouse interns ...