BS: The Invasion of the Manatees

26 Dec 01 - 09:24 PM (#616772)
Subject: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,khandu

Manatees are coming into lake Marapaus! The damn things get in there through lake Ponchatrain and really screw up the pleasure boating. I'm sick and tired of it! There is a refinery at the mouth of Bayou Manchac which feeds into Marapaus from the Mississippi river. I figure we should turn the waste from that plant from spilling into the river and let it go into the lake. This would solve the manatee problem within two days. The only draw back would be that the people in New Orleans would have to get used to the cleaner taste of the drinking water. It wouldn't have chunks in it anymore. I don't know if they could handle it. The plan would work and I would have a better chance of making time magazine's "man of the year."

khandu

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26 Dec 01 - 10:03 PM (#616787)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Oh, khando-who-khannot, go screw. Manatees are fine upstanding citizens, who have no natural enemies except your bloody power boats and who always speak in a civilize and considerate manner. The plan would put you right up there with OBL as "Perpetrator of Heinous Offenses Against Innocent Life Forms" of the year.

Invasion, indeed!! Like the federal government itself, Manatee are here to help you!

A

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26 Dec 01 - 11:13 PM (#616818)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,khandu

What?

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26 Dec 01 - 11:45 PM (#616825)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Blackcatter

Khandu,

So what you're saying is that some harmless animals are causing you to slow down your attempt to destroy the environment? Don't let that get out - the raccoons and deer will come knocking and trash your house.

Frankly, your opinion is much better served at www.John-Birch.wierdos

get a life and get it somewhere else.

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26 Dec 01 - 11:56 PM (#616832)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

I had one really mess up my boat last summer! Damned Manatees!!

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26 Dec 01 - 11:58 PM (#616833)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,khandu

See! I do not stand alone!

khandu

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27 Dec 01 - 12:01 AM (#616835)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Rolfyboy6

Vicious attack Manatees in the pay of Petroleum Interests force clean warm water on the residents of Mudville. Opponents publish sympathetic pictures of photogenic catfish writhing in agony. Louisiana legislators jockey on the sidelines nudging each other to see who falls in first and spot which way the dollars are flowing.

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27 Dec 01 - 12:15 AM (#616844)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Man....if they're in Marapaus they could get to me! I really don't like the idea. They're not good for anything are they?

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27 Dec 01 - 12:15 AM (#616845)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,khandu

Can anyone make a decision? Why must they follow the dollar or the fickle public opinion? Does God not make balls anymore? If so, why doesn't someone use them?

khandu

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27 Dec 01 - 12:27 AM (#616850)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Look... I'm not afraid of them. I just don't like them. Arn't they kind of slimey? I'll tell you though.They don't belong in La. anymore than those damned Black Bears.I've got buddies that know how to take care of those problems.There is still a good fur trade going on but manatees arn't good for anything.

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27 Dec 01 - 12:54 AM (#616861)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Wodda crock!! Manatees are Elevated Beings, and they're good for looking mournful and reminding you of your Higher Self...

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27 Dec 01 - 01:01 AM (#616863)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

An interesting and enriching view, Amos. I shall ponder this.

khandu

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27 Dec 01 - 01:18 AM (#616870)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Tell ya what. My introduction to Manatees was snorkeling among them in the Crystal River. I put my arm around one, and he happily towed me along, cruising the bottom of the river, and we talked. He was a very decent person, easy going, tolerant, no anger in him, just mellow and tolerant. You should be so lucky!! :>)

Thanks for the grin, khandu!

A

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27 Dec 01 - 01:41 AM (#616876)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: katlaughing

Well, thank gawd we got that sorted! I was hoping I saw some very big tongues in cheek there and Amos seems to have proved it, eh? 'Cause, ya know I was ready! I've got an artist friend who won't sell a painting he did of an Ascended Manatee, which is just gorgeous, and I can vouch for their high moral fibre and general benevolence towards the underserving humankind, also!

katmanateelover&proudofit!*bg*

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27 Dec 01 - 04:18 AM (#616912)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

The price of keeping the whole manatee thing going is quite high. The Columbus Zoo alone spent several million to build a facility for manatee rescue and though it certainly draws a crowd, I doubt if it is by any means self-sustaining. There are two permanent residents and there have been 7 returned to their native habitat after being put back into condition. All of these were injured from boat prop strikes. If you factor in the man hours and the costs of jet transport both ways, the cost/manatee skyrockets. and that doesn't even take into account the daily maintenance costs of these animals.

They aren't called sea cows for nothing. Eash one eats several crates of lettuce per day and while feeding time is a popular attraction, I wonder how many small children have been frightened to go into the water after seeing these things feed.......and worse. They have a monstrous glass sided tank here that you can walk along and see quite clearly and you haven't seen anything until you see one of these behemoths drop a load! And a load it is. As I said, sea cow is appropriate. It's really disgusting and a lot of the kids standing around were completely grossed out. This alone will probably keep many from even going wading in some of our southern rivers.

In a discussion on a different board, a Florida resident also pointed out the following: ".....you have no idea what a problem they are. Here we have such wonderful family attractions like Disney, Wet and Wild, Bush Gardens Sea World, Universal, and the water ski show at Cypress Gardens....but those damn Rivers with their manatees,and those stupid swamps and cypress trees wasting space that could better be put to use as hotel sites and golf courses and sub divisions." Although the manatee may draw a few tourists, the impact of the individual tourist dollar especially, could be better spent with one of the Disney or other attractions which employ people there and results in far greater benefits to the community as a whole.

Khandu, I'm with you on this one and I would suggest that boaters in the area go to stainless steel props which are less likely to be damaged and will probably result in a surer kill. Those manatees struck should just be hauled ashore and then y'all can do what you see fit, which in Mississippi probably means sticking a flaming cross up their ass and barbequing the damn things.

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 09:38 AM (#616975)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST

It must be a Devil of a job to MILK these damned thingss?

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27 Dec 01 - 09:42 AM (#616976)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: MMario

feed the manatees the kudzu and water-hyacinth.

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27 Dec 01 - 09:47 AM (#616979)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Mario, the manatees natural food is the water hyacinth but I think even they draw the line at kudzu.

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 09:59 AM (#616987)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: MMario

while I was in college - (yes, *that* long ago) they were running trials on feeding dairy cows on kudzu - trouble was cutting the dang stuff made it grow faster! Cows liked it if you drizzled a little blackstrap over it.

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27 Dec 01 - 10:08 AM (#616996)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Well, it's like the old Georgia farmer said:

There are three things I hate in this life. Kudzu, city folks, and kudzu.

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 11:33 AM (#617022)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Wesley S

Save the manatee - ban powerboats and those damn skeedoo's { also known as "personal watercraft" } -skeedoo's are the most annoying inventions known to man.

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27 Dec 01 - 11:42 AM (#617025)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: katlaughing

Well said, Wesley!

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27 Dec 01 - 11:54 AM (#617027)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Sorcha

Yup. Skidoos are right up there with jet boats. Especially when the camp neighbor fires one up at 5 AM.

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27 Dec 01 - 11:58 AM (#617029)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Jack The Lad

My father was the keeper of the Marapaus Light,

He married a manatee one fine night,

The result of this union was three,

A catfish, a skiddoo, and the other was me,

Yo Ho Ho, Crystal River flows free,

We'll all have blackstrap and kudzu for tea!

Jack The Lad

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27 Dec 01 - 12:02 PM (#617032)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Alonia

didnt know what a manatee was WOW!! What wonderful creatures :)

thankyou http://www.manateeworld.net/index.htm

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27 Dec 01 - 12:28 PM (#617051)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

You got it, Alonia -- they're downright Mythic. Khandzu should be ashamed, I say!! LOL.

A

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27 Dec 01 - 12:45 PM (#617057)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Charley Noble

Reminds me of that great song that our friends Magpie put together on their CIRCLE OF LIFE CD entitled "Hugh the Manatee."

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27 Dec 01 - 12:48 PM (#617059)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

I think I have perhaps solved the problem of these freakin' worthless manatees and freed up the valuable rivers and lakes for 300 HP Bass Boats and thousands of jet skis! See the Hamster thread! I would like to help especially in Khandu's case since flaming crosses should be saved for more worthwhile endeavors!

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 12:56 PM (#617066)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Wesley S

I for one am glad the Manatee's are worthless. If they had any value the poachers and bubba's would have wiped them out a long time ago. As someone who grew up in Florida I would prefer a river clogged with Manatees than skidoos and jet boats.

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27 Dec 01 - 01:20 PM (#617078)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Great zot Wesley....What is the matter with you? Look man, I've seen them in the wild and I have spent a lot of bucks and a lot of time to see them at our zoo. It's always the first place we hit to see those lumbering behemoths. For the life of me I don't know why we have spent hours staring at them and why I have bought Karen all that damn manatee jewelry is beyond me. And why we donate to that stupid foundation is equally appalling! I just don't get it.

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 01:37 PM (#617089)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Wesley S

Rumor has it that you have a dingleberry that you can't get at either but keep trying. Maybe your flaming cross can get at it.

By the way - Jimmy Buffets website has a link to an organization that works to preserve the manatee.

I hope y'all had a great Christmas. Did you have a turkey or manatee steaks again ?

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27 Dec 01 - 01:42 PM (#617097)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Naw, they won't slaughter tham at the zoo anymore dammit. Has something to do with the fact that Columbus was the first inland rescue center and has had the highest success of all inland facilities so far or something. I guess they don't want to screw up the record. Word has it we're getting three more so maybe there'll be some steak possibilities soon.

We had a great Christmas outside of that.......Hope the three of you enjoyed yours as well as I read you did!

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 02:10 PM (#617114)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Wesley S

Spaw - I'm sorry your manatee steak source has dried up. Do you have any interest in some fresh bald eagle?

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27 Dec 01 - 03:24 PM (#617146)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Stewie

Like Alonia above, I did not know anything about a manatee - thanks for the link. I am well aware, however, of the dugong and it appears that these marvellous creatures are related. Dugong are found, among other places, in the waters off northern Australia and, like the manatee, are in danger of extinction. Some info on dugongs may be found Here and Here.

--Stewie.

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27 Dec 01 - 03:26 PM (#617149)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

No thanks Wes, the meats kinda' tough and chewy. I'd like to try California Condor though if you can get some. A much larger bird and with a distinctive taste. Since their population has increased from about 20 to about 150, I figure we can start killing them off for food anytime. Or, if you can find a few brace of Peregrine, that'd be great. takes about two per person for a good meal, so maybe a couple dozen will do for my next party. Thanks!

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 04:13 PM (#617184)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Jeeze, Spaw, you can be SUCH a jerk!!! Is that a native talent, or acquired by corporate-culture overexposure? LOL!!! IBM sales, wasn't it? Big iron systems? Just yore style. Maybe we should be glad you're retired though -- I imagine you were pretty good at it. Horrible thought, you out there spreading mainframes like so many virii. ***bg***

Love ya,man. Hope the New Year just lifts ya up with joy and success.

A

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27 Dec 01 - 05:19 PM (#617244)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Blackcatter

I like the manatees here in Central Florida - it helps us tell the idiots (those that complain about no-wake laws) form the normal people. We then make sure that the idiots drink enough Mtn. Dew so they beome infertile and are unable to produce kids.

Thank you manatees!

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27 Dec 01 - 05:39 PM (#617261)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Perhaps I should have entitled this thread "Manatee, insanity and other inanities.

I am greatly vexed, however. The Famous Ahian Nose-burner, Mr. Catswap, has actually agreed with me.

What a way to end a strange year!

khandu

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27 Dec 01 - 05:53 PM (#617278)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Well, manatees make strange bedfellows. Mine was pretty good though I noticed yours seemed to be having a problem with your "style".......Try Viagra.

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 06:01 PM (#617282)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

You may perk up your vanity,
With screeds of inanity
And well-hidden profanity
And Guest-like Insanity

But turn on your urbanity,
And off your villainity
We'll show our humanity
By speaking of manatee!

The result, in great quanity
And high-witted zanity
We'll skip Christianity
For deep oceanity!

So Khandu's serenity
And southern amenity
Will heal our insanities
With songs about manatees!

Regards,

A.

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27 Dec 01 - 06:24 PM (#617290)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: katlaughing

Bravo, Amos!

Thanks for the link, Stewie! I didn't know about dugong.

kat

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27 Dec 01 - 08:32 PM (#617370)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Rolfyboy6

I think it's important to remember the uncertain future the manatees face from the threat of high fashion. Those hides make the best clunky soled women's shoes. The word is out that the vicious Swiss black market in Manatee hides has heated up. The banker's wives of Zurich are slaves to fashion and they are bumping around town on mantee hide. There are persistent reports of manatee hide shipments down the Rhine to the UK for the high level Dr. Dentons worn by conscienceless punsters and aging mods.

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27 Dec 01 - 08:56 PM (#617376)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Spaw and Wes,
Why stop at manatees and bald eagles and peregrines?  Ever read that "Modest Proposal" by Jonathan Swift (I think)?  Seems the young of the poor white trash taste pretty good, too--and solve the problem of population explosion, to boot!

(Wonder what jet skiers taste like with a little barbecue sauce... .  Maybe we could get manatees used to them as a food source.)

Genie

P.S.,
Khandu,
Wasn't the manatee or the dugong the creature that gave rise to the myth of the mermaid?  Wunner how much grog those sailors of old hadda been drinkin' 'fore one of those started lookin' good to them!

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27 Dec 01 - 09:16 PM (#617384)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Genie,

A couple a' pints of good old Guinness would do it for me!

Yes, Swift's "Modest Proposal" makes even more sense today! It also reminds me of Scrooge; "If they would rather die, let them! It would cut down on the surplus population!"

khandu (little "k")

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27 Dec 01 - 09:22 PM (#617387)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Then, again, khandu with the little "k," I guess it depends on how long you've been at sea!

G

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27 Dec 01 - 09:25 PM (#617388)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Paul G.

Well, well, well...as a Florida songwriter who has spent endless hours pulling out lyrics about Manatees, Sand Hill Cranes, Panthers, Bears, and Red Shouldered Hawks I must say that I am awed and inspired to trudge on. I am working on training our St. John's River sea cows to drive specially modified power boats strait over the flabby backsides of our Duval County water rednecks. Works best immediately after they fall stone-drunk off their jet fuel powered skidoos. See what it takes to pull me out of a months long lurk? You guys are good! Spaw -- go outside now and build a snow-manatee for the neighbors. You'll piss off the possums sure.

--pg

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27 Dec 01 - 09:29 PM (#617389)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Celtic Soul

Kahndu...

When you're done with the manatee crusade, I think there are some pesky spotted owls up in the northwest that are still screwing up some construction plans to which you could turn your attentions.

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27 Dec 01 - 10:13 PM (#617400)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Hey, those spotted owls are my next mission! They are always stealing the attention from our Mississippi screech owls, who deserve much more attention than they get. Yes, I am very passionate about this!

Paul G., Am I correct that you are conducting a sea-cattle drive? I am awed! Would your hired hands ride sea-horses?

khandu

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27 Dec 01 - 10:37 PM (#617409)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

I'll have you all know that khandu and I are directly responsible for the release of the snail darter from the endangered list! When everyone thought them almost extinct, we discovered them flourishing elsewhere while we were out on an owl hunt! So paul, sign us up to ride the drive....a finer pair of sea horse riders you've never seen!

Spaw

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27 Dec 01 - 10:42 PM (#617412)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

YAS!! AMAN!! Speak the truth, Brother Swap!!

Rev. khandu

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27 Dec 01 - 10:58 PM (#617422)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Paul G.

Giddy up! We'll ride them sea cows down the St. Johns to Orlando, head a little west to Disneytown and engage in a little mouse rustling, eh? Now there's a blight on my fair state the could stand a little thinning! Perhaps we could trade the mouse for a possum? Possumland! Imagine the possibilities!

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27 Dec 01 - 11:03 PM (#617426)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

SEE! See what brilliance we have at Mudcat!!! Possumland! Who'd a thunk it!

khandu

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28 Dec 01 - 12:21 AM (#617464)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Mr. Mahin

Screw a bunch of worthless manatees!They are just in the way of mankind. The same goes for the Spotted Owl, the Florida Panther, and the California Condor. Hell, the Bald Eagle is nothing but a glorified buzzard! Things have been going extinct since the begining of time! m

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28 Dec 01 - 12:36 AM (#617471)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Bravo Mr. Mahin! You said it very well indeed. We don't need no stinking manatees and we don't need no stinking bleeding heart tree huggers! 90% of all animal lovers eat 3 hamburgers a week. They just don't get the connection between refridgerated meat on store shelves and cows, chickens and pigs! Give me a break! They would look at us with disgust yet they've probably devoured 2 or 3 cows each in the past 10 years!

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28 Dec 01 - 01:28 AM (#617485)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

(Just stay in your tent, ma'a'm. Those sounds you hear are drums. The yahoos are restless tonight!!)

A

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28 Dec 01 - 06:33 AM (#617536)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Banjer

As a resident of the state of Florida I have seen much destruction of our wetlands and natural habitats for wildflife, all in pursuit of the almighty dollar. It would'nt bother me one iota, in fact it would please me immensesly, if they plowed under and removed all traces of Disneyworld and others of their ilk. We need more attractions like Silver Springs, Cypress Gardens and other concerns that go to great lengths to preserve our wildlife and natural heritage in whatever form. Those that don't care for the preservation of nature could all go to a desert in the southwest and dry up and blow away. If I never see or hear another jetski or see a powerboat raising a ten foot rooster tail in a 'no wake' zone I would be a happy camper.

Manatee have no natural enemies. They are a gentle creature and their appetite for water hyacinths is what keeps our rivers and inland waterways clear. While there is a law now protecting them, I think more patrols by our Fish and Wildlife, the Florida Marine Patrol and even some Coast Guard patrols are in order.

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28 Dec 01 - 12:02 PM (#617627)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Well, well. that's real wonderful. Just keep your manatee in Fla. then. We don't want them in La. They are a hazard to navigation!

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28 Dec 01 - 12:20 PM (#617635)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Paul G.

Spikepole -- I have it! You send us your Sea Cattle, and we'll send you the Mouse. Fair trade in my opinion. Mickey on Marapaus has a wonderful ring to it. Steamboat Willie has a bit of that powerboating theme too. You'll love the clogging of your roads with lost Yankees, especially the lost drunk ones in Goofy hats. And just think of all of those minimum wage hotel jobs you'll be creating! Interstate commerce lives!

pg

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28 Dec 01 - 01:00 PM (#617655)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Ya' know Paul, I, along with probably most of the population of the eastern US, did the Orlando thing a few years ago. I'd been in and out of Orlando a lot in my past business life but never did the mouse stuff. Frankly, my main association was always the fine selection of titty-bars up on 41! Anyway, we did the touristy thing, but as Karen and I were taking the kids somewhere after a few days of that insanity, we got to talking about wanting to see the "old Florida." Even the old time tourist traps like Gatorland have far more appeal and even something oddly "cultural" that all the glitz of the mouse and his surrounding fiefdoms completely lacks. We actually did stop by Gatorland and frankly my brood at the time (included several foster kids) enjoyed THAT a lot more and even for me it brought back vacations of my childhood with tourist cabins, wacky postcards, and the like.

Tourism can be both profitable and a pain in the ass on any level, but Disney took the whole thing to a new level.....one I will never repeat. 'Course if I was single, I'd be doing them titty-bars proud!

Spaw

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28 Dec 01 - 01:10 PM (#617663)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Hell, Spaw, if you wuz single you'd be panhandling the suits going in and out of the titty bars, I imagine -- your fervent imagination, populated as it is with dreams of world-class farts, marsupial rectii, and complete ineptitude in bib overalls, would just drag you down to the gutter, on your own. Worse than Edgar Allen Poe. A real waste. Thank God for Karen, I say!!! :>) Who else could ever have made half-a-citizen outta such problematic and extremely raw material?

A.

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28 Dec 01 - 09:22 PM (#617876)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Well, Mr. Mahin Guest,
You're right-- things do go extinct all the time.  We naked two-legged apes are quite new to the fauna register, in fact.  Who knows when it'll be our turn?

Spikepole, cows weren't on the endangered species list the last time I looked.

Right on, Banjer!

Brilliant idea, Paul G.

Amos, you do wax so poetically!

Genie  ª; )

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28 Dec 01 - 10:03 PM (#617893)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Banjer

Paul, that's a wonderful idea. Let's start some sort of petition to get the Mouse and all his associated traffic congestion and other problems out of Florida. Maybe those folks in Lousiana are crazy enough to take you up on your idea. I bet it wouldn't be long before they begged us to take Mickey back and send them their manatees. I know I will offend somebody (not really meaning to) but like the bumper sticker on my truck says, "Happiness is a northbound Yankee". You haven't lived until you've tried to drive to work in the morning behind some northern vehicle going half the speed limit, the wife reading a map, and the husband tapping the brake every time she finds another tidbit of useless information. All this on a two lane road with no hope of passing. Oh, give me the manatee anyday!!!

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28 Dec 01 - 10:18 PM (#617899)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

I tell ya' that THIS Yankee hates to drive anywhere in Florida! Y'all got more traffic hazards than anyplace on earth. If it ain't construction, it's tourists or local drunks. Then there's the snowbird contingent and the really scary blue-haired brigade......about 4 foot tall, 92 years old, and can't see over the wheel of their Caddy! I was always happy to have a company paid rental car because it doesn't matter if it gets banged up!

Spaw

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28 Dec 01 - 11:05 PM (#617916)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Paul G.

Spaw and anybody else -- any time y'all want to come visit the *real* Florida, just send a note. Banjer and me and a few others will be delighted to point you in the right direction. Places like Paine's Prarie, White Springs, the Ocala National Forrest, Cross Creek, Lake George, Playa Linda Beach, the hills of Pasco County, High Springs, Micanopy...on and on and on. This is an amazing state full of natural wonder once you move away from the condo commandos, the Mouse and its associated debris, and downtown anyplace. We're always happy to share, just don't mess the place up.

p.

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28 Dec 01 - 11:21 PM (#617926)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Dang, Paul -- next time I get sent to the Great Military Industrial Software complex in Orlando to sleep through four days of stupid rice-bowl wars, I think I'll call you!! I'd rather learn to wrassle gators or do a two-step than discuss Army software plans that change the minute the meeting is over anyway!

A

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28 Dec 01 - 11:31 PM (#617929)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Well genie.... how many cows did you eat this year? When you see a cow in a pasture does it work up your apetite? It has been said that the only way to insure a species survival is for mankind to start eating them. Maybe you'd like to come over here and eat some manatee. Leave the mouse where he's at.

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28 Dec 01 - 11:40 PM (#617930)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Mississippi has its share of plagues. The damnable mosquito, beggar-lice, Redneck Bubbas, and Spaw's incessant farts which drift down from Ohio and pollute our normally deliciously fragrant atmosphere.

I would trade them all for the Manatee (Is the plural "Menatee"?), but I don't know if they are equipped to handle living in the Yazoo River.

Spikepole, you seem to have some very strong opinions there. I gather that you are from Louisiana. Is you opinion shared by many of your fellow citizens or, are you a Lone Ranger?

Mr. Mahin, I am a bit puzzled. I have recently singed a few of my post with the name "Mahin khandu". It was an inside joke. Are you some kind of name thief? Also your opinions echoed those of Spikepole. Are you also an opinion thief? If so, do you not know that it is better to voice your own opinions, no matter how stupid they may be, than to be someone's clone.

I also gather that you are probably a big fan of "The Man Show".

One more thing, have any of you ever eaten a Manatee?

khandu

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29 Dec 01 - 01:29 AM (#617960)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Melani

True story--though it really can't compete with the rest of this thread...A biologist friend of mine was swimming in the Tamiami Canal one day, collecting some sort of research material--I think he was studying some kind of fish parasite--when suddenly he touched bottom. "Oh, touched bottom..." he thought, "...wait a minute! This canal is 25 feet deep!" The bottom began to rise...he was standing on a manatee.

And just remember, folks--manatees were the original mermaids, so treat 'em with the respect they deserve!

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29 Dec 01 - 03:11 AM (#617977)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Mr. mahin is my room mate and agrees with my opinion on manatee. There are more of us here in the bayou state that wish the animals would just go away. I love the north bound yankee thing. Hey khandu!....we agree with you but we are not thieves!

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29 Dec 01 - 08:25 PM (#618326)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

But...Will I get "Man of the Year"?

Spikepole, you have a pain-in-the-arse plague that, IMHO, is worse than the Menatee. It's them damned Love Bugs! I had traveling in you state in late summer/early fall. I have a white car, but after a few miles with those things, no one can tell what color it is. They are terrible! There are more travellers in cars than there are boats. So the bugs cause more problems than the Manatee. Whatcha doing bout them?

khandu

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29 Dec 01 - 08:40 PM (#618332)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Er... that should be "I hate traveling..."

khandu

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29 Dec 01 - 09:49 PM (#618355)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Actually, Spikepole,  I eat relatively little beef, pork, etc. (more fish and poultry, as well as vegetable products).  Mice probably taste fine (though it'd take Mickey, Minnie, Morty and Ferdie to make a snack).  I usually let my cats take care of the mousies.  (They give 'em to me as presents, but they're all chewed up and not fit for barbecuing.)

Yes, because they exist (were bred) for our use, domestic cows are in little danger of extinction, while animals we don't exploit as much (e.g., manatees) have less chance of survival.  But there are many species we do (did) eat or otherwise use, e.g., dodos, many whale species, etc., which are either extinct or close to it.  African elephant survival chances in some countries may have been at least temporatily alleviated by human 'harvesting' for various products, though Asian elephants (traditionally the more "useful" species) are more threatened.   I'm not sure being preferred as people food has helped sharks, though.

Somehow, I can't see "manatee farms."   Manatee watching tourism, maybe.

Why can't we humans learn to share a little?

Oh, yeah.&nb

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29 Dec 01 - 10:09 PM (#618361)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Paul G.

Alright, you Cajuns -- I'll even spice up the trade a bit...In addition to the Mouse, we'll throw in the damned Love Bugs and a couple hundred thousand armadillos. Will also send up a few mangos in season. We'll take all the manatees. I'd also like a few good Zydeco players.

--p

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29 Dec 01 - 10:22 PM (#618366)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Great idea, Paul G. But would you also be willing to take Spikepole and his room-mate, Mr. Mahin? I am certain that they would be a wonderful asset to your state. They could talk sense into all the Manatee crazed folks down there and get Florida turned onto the correct path of righteousness. Take a lesson and remember the stanza from a Dylan song: "He got sweet gift of gab, He got harmonious tongue,

He knows every song of love that ever has been sung,

But his intention could be evil,

Both hands could be full of grease,

You know, sometimes Satan comes as a Manatee" Don't say you weren't warned!! ;D

khandu

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29 Dec 01 - 10:47 PM (#618378)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Just a cas of Postus Interruptus, Folks.

I accidentally cut off the end of my last post.  It was s'posed to say, "Oh, yeah.   Right.  Other animals (some of them human) interfere with our inalienable right to jet ski.   How dare they??!!"

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30 Dec 01 - 06:01 PM (#618678)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Gethirah

The only manatee that i ever met was missing two legs and swam around in circles. he also had a bad habit of playing dead whenever a boat would pass by.

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30 Dec 01 - 06:11 PM (#618682)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Excuse me pal -- but manatee don't have legs as such. They have short little fore-paws and a lovely whale-tail in back. That's why they got taken for mermaids. Although, as representatives of the class we think of a smermaids, they are awfully homely!!

A

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30 Dec 01 - 09:40 PM (#618792)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,hrothgar

If you could train manatees to tow water skiers (at whatever speed it is they need), it would at least cut the noise level.

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31 Dec 01 - 12:15 AM (#618857)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

And cut down on the damned skiddos!

khandu

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31 Dec 01 - 12:24 PM (#619035)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

Well, it looks as if nature is going to take charge of the situation. It appears that the manatee are going to get a chance to freeze to death. Snow on the bayou is a very unusaul thing but very welcome this time!

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31 Dec 01 - 01:01 PM (#619048)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: heric

>>Snow on the bayou is a very unusual thing but very welcome this time! <<

That's a song, isn't it?

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31 Dec 01 - 01:17 PM (#619060)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Welcome because it will drive out the manatee? As I recall they have a vulnerability to cold weather, which is why they go up the warm Crystal Springs river every year, which is heated by a natural hot spring. I think they get pneumonia easily or something.

A nasty fate to wish on any sentient being, Spike....

A

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31 Dec 01 - 10:36 PM (#619294)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Gethirah

Well......hey! Freezing to death is not so bad. Don't you just go to sleep and never wake up? I think that's alot better than getting chewed up by boat motors. Either way you get rid of them. It' going to be a good new year Spike!

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01 Jan 02 - 12:24 AM (#619312)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: rangeroger

I have felt for a long time that there was a major calling for the manatee.

In California, the canals in the Sacramento River Delta beome clgged with water hyacinth. Millions have been spent on solutions to this problem with no results.

As water hyacinth is the major food for the manatee, it would seem to me you could populate the canals with manatee and unclog them.

rr

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01 Jan 02 - 03:05 AM (#619352)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,spikepole

rangeroger, I think you might have something there! If you could spread the word and get California excited about it, you may have solved it. Are you out there khandu? You really must pay attention to rangeroger!!!!

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01 Jan 02 - 10:53 AM (#619429)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

So all we need to save the Manatee is a network of solar-heat3ed canals linking Florida and Louisiana with the Sacramento Valley? Or were you going to transport them over the Rockies in huge tanks? Maybe convert some old tanker trunks. I don't think going around the Horn would work. Tough one....

A

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01 Jan 02 - 05:53 PM (#619580)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Yes, rangeroger has a great idea, however, as Amos has pointed out, there is a logistical problem. Perhaps there is a brilliant Mudcatter out there who could work out a solution to this.

Alas, he is not me.

Nonetheless, the original suggestion in this thread, drastic as it sounds, appears to be the only working solution, unless Spikepole's dream of snow becomes a reality.

But it seems that my hope of becoming Time Magazine's "Man of the Year" is fading. What a lousy way to begin 2002!

Anybody know any good folk songs that fit this occasion?

khandu

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01 Jan 02 - 06:02 PM (#619582)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Banjer

Seems to me the manatee were around long before any of us. If the situation bothers you so, why not move someplace where everything is to your liking? You guys remind me of the northern transplants that constantly whine about how much better/faster/cheaper/nicer it was where they came from....My question is always twofold: Why did you leave and when are you going back there?

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01 Jan 02 - 06:10 PM (#619586)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Even if we "went back there", we would still have access to computers and we would still log on and post threads on Mudcat, and we would still irritate some folk.

So, in effect, nothing would change!

khandu

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01 Jan 02 - 08:21 PM (#619656)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Well, khandon't, maybe ther eis a technical answer. Why not build a giant ship, very wide, with loads of generators and pumps on it, capable of pumping out a large cube of warm water around it? Anchor it on the Misissippi and open the waterways from the lakes s that manatees fleeing the cold will gravitate to the warm bubble of water being maintained around the ship. Then have the ship navigate slowly down the coast of Central and South America, through the Straits of Magellan and around the Horn, up the Pacific coast, generating its warm water space in the water around it as it goes.

Any manatee inside the warm water will turn back toward the ship anytime it hits the boundary layer of cold, and will thus be forced by their own instinct to round the Cape and move up the Pacific coast up to the Sacramento and Stockton deltas where they could be picked up by smaller bubble-of-heat boats to take them up to the areas where the Calla Lilies grow, or whatever it is you're trying to ge rid of -- kudzu? Spanish moss? I forget....

A

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01 Jan 02 - 10:40 PM (#619723)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Yes, yes! I knew we had a brilliant Mudcatter who could arrive at some workable solution!! And it is dear Amos!! I shoudda knowed!

uh...er...Amos, are you trying to capture my coveted Time magazine "MOTY" award? Surely not!

khanduz!

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01 Jan 02 - 11:36 PM (#619744)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Gethirah

Well.....it really is getting deep around here. Most likely, by spring , there will be no more problem. Manatee Popcicles! Anybody in the mood for one?

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01 Jan 02 - 11:55 PM (#619749)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

No Khan Do!! You can have all the PR. In exchange you get all the venture capital, get the boat designed and launched and agree to send me 5% off the top of the revenue stream for the project. My lips are sealed. Deal?

A

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02 Jan 02 - 01:12 AM (#619770)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Ooooh! Whadda bahgain!!!

khandid!

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02 Jan 02 - 05:57 AM (#619808)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Banjer

Can we no longer use the Panama Canal? Why around the tip of SA?

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02 Jan 02 - 09:37 PM (#620170)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

I don't think Manatee would stay in formation -- the water's pretty warm there. And they can't handle locks. Not only do they not have opposable thumbs, they don't even have fingers. Besides, I love the image of herding a mess of manatee around the Horn. It fits better into the sea chanties I plan to write about the heroic accomplishment!!

A

Oh, and I forgot about the Canal, anyway.

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05 Jan 02 - 05:58 PM (#621673)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Alex

I want a manatee popcicle!!!!

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05 Jan 02 - 06:19 PM (#621684)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

How about a Jewish popcicle instead? That'd be a frozen gefilte fish on a stick.....and leave the manatees alone.

Spaw

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06 Jan 02 - 06:04 AM (#622071)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Banjer

a Jewish popcicle??? Take it on estep farther 'Spaw and send a buch of bagle sto the Panama Canal...Then you could have bagles and locks....oi vay, did I really just say that??

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06 Jan 02 - 09:24 AM (#622108)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: gnu

Wish I had joined this thread earlier. I wish to identify another hazard to mankid. While continued efforts to get rid of owls, eagles, manatees, and others are laudible, I'm talking about something far more incidious... the RETURN of species from declared extinction. All those years of hard work gone down the drain.

I will speak of that which I know. Here in New Brunswick, Canada, we have specific sprecies which are a problem. First, I refer to the Eastern Brush Wolf. When they started to appear twenty years ago, there was a big campaign by the tree huggers, covertly, of course, to pooh pooh the problem. At first, their existance was denied. Then, when sightings became reality, they got everyone calling them coyotes, coydogs, yotes, and other cutsie-pie names. They were held up as loners, small and ineffective hunters. Feeling sorry for them, some of the farmers began feeding them sheep at night. Then, the city folk started feeding them cats and small dogs. By then, it was too late. Now we are overrun with packs of them.... yotes don't hunt in packs... wolves do... yes, WOLVES !!! In New Brunswick, AGAIN !!!

Now, it's the big cats. For a few years, the tree huggers, again covertly, made out that the sightings of these creatures were akin to UFO sightings. That the sighters were drunk or deranged. No way could there be the return of the Cougar. Another cutsie name for the the Easter Panther, a viscious predator, easily capable of taking down a slow moving drunk on an ATV.

We can't stop the snarling, drooling, devil dog now... it's too late. But, quick action to re-eradicate the Panther may still be possible. I urge everyone to buy an ATV, a gun, lots of ammo and a six pack... just make sure that the retailers are members of "Never Again" and a portion of the profits will go to making sure that species like the Eastern Panther are kept where they belong, in the past. That way, the big lumber companies won't be hindered by protected forest/habitat legislation and can continue their true calling, clear cutting the forests. Remember, clear cutting is the quickest and surest way to rid the earth of such vile species as the Atlantic Salmon, Speckled Trout... actually, any fresh water fish that lays eggs in running water.

This madness must be stopped. The destruction of the earth is in the balance.

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06 Jan 02 - 03:29 PM (#622263)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Gee, Gnu, that's really eloquently written, for all that it is a psychotic rant! LOL!!

A

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06 Jan 02 - 04:38 PM (#622294)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: gnu

Who said psychotics can't rant ? BTW, the "really" Is really superfluous, if ya knows what I means.

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06 Jan 02 - 05:23 PM (#622320)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

It's a figure of speech, mate -- commonly used as an intensifier in the American vernacular. Did you know that obsessive concern about irrelevant details is sometimes a symptom of serious mental disorders? Oh...I've been meaning to ask you if there should be a hyphen in anal retentive, or not?

:>)

A

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06 Jan 02 - 05:43 PM (#622327)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: gnu

I don't know about that hyphen, but I've been wondering if there should be hyphen in "will-not", seriously.

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06 Jan 02 - 07:52 PM (#622418)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Only when it is used as a noun.

A.

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06 Jan 02 - 08:58 PM (#622448)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,BigDaddy

Paul G, where the hell are the "hills of Pasco County?" I'm living in Pasco County right now (may I live long enough to live elsewhere) and have seen no hills. We do have a couple of nature preserves nearby, but hills? Banjer, to quote Jim Stafford, "Hiways, byways, souvenir stands. Eat here! Gas up! Campin' vans. We got ten thousand new attractions planned/With mechanical animals....and mechanical man." That from "The Last Chant."

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06 Jan 02 - 09:55 PM (#622482)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Also, gnu, there is the supposed return of the Jersey Devil. Ah, there is much fodder upon which to ruminate in The Mudcat Cafe!

khan-du

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07 Jan 02 - 01:39 PM (#622785)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: gnu

Did you know that a "Candu" reactor is a Canadian made nuclear reactor for an electrical power genereating station ? Perfectly safe, of course. Absolutely no detrimental effects. There's one about a hundred miles from me and I'm just fine, thanks for asking. What did you say ? Psychotic ? Who's psychotic ? Oh, shut up !

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08 Jan 02 - 01:46 AM (#623180)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Crazy Eddie

It is no coincidence that a gnu should want people to kill off large carnivores. His ancestors probably went to the New World to avoid hyenas, lions & leopards.
Notice that he doesn't object to large herbivores, such as bison or moose! (Wildebeest often mix with zebra & kudu)
Do I detect some self-interest here?
The public has a right to gno!

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08 Jan 02 - 04:24 AM (#623222)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Mark Cohen

I knew there was a reason I'd been avoiding this thread...but here's my chance to turn it into a musical one! Seems there would have been a call for manatees in ancient Egypt, as evidenced by this round, which was created by Moondog, evidently after reading a history book while in an altered state of consciousness:

Nero's expedition up the Nile
Failed
Because the water hyacinths
Had clogged the river
Denying Nero's vessels passage
Through the Sud of Nubia

If you ever get a chance to hear this sung, it's awesome--the only round I know with jazz chords!

Aloha,
Mark
(you remember, manatees eat water hyacinths, and...oh, the hell with it, you figure it out)

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08 Jan 02 - 04:45 AM (#623228)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Mark Cohen

Well I'll be...Nero's Expedition is in the DT! There seems to be an extra note in the MIDI file, though...at the beginning of the line that starts with "denying". But I'm probably wrong, and I need to go to sleep, and I'll bet Moondog never even saw a manatee anyway, let alone a khandugong.

Aloha,
Mark

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08 Jan 02 - 11:12 PM (#623886)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Gnu, The difference between a Canadian Candu and a Mississippi khandu; I am not a reactor, I am a responder. I usually am perfectly safe, of course; no detrimental effects. I am more than one hundred miles from you. In fact, I am more than 100 miles from me...Psychotic? Who said "psychotic"?

I am weary. I am going to bed.

khandu

PS. Kill this thread!

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30 Mar 02 - 08:42 PM (#679812)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,DL

refresh

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02 Apr 02 - 07:35 PM (#681893)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,DL

I've looked these things up and they dont resemble calamari in the least the recipes required should be more on the order of whale, or blubber, or hog fat

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05 Apr 02 - 06:15 AM (#683548)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Hrothgar

Reminds me of the bloke who was talking of the bad days in the whaling ships when they used to eat candles and blubber. I'd blubber. too, if I had to eat candles.

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06 Apr 02 - 12:36 AM (#684308)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,fe

A class of mammal which might be mistaken for monsters would be the Sirenias. This group includes dugongs and sea cows. The most familiar of these animals is the manatee that swims in the rivers and along the coast of Florida.

Manatee's have two forward flippers and a flat tail, like the seal. Unlike the seal it spends almost all of it's time in the water. Also unlike the seal it feeds on aquatic vegetation. Manatee's grow up to 15 feet long and weigh 3500 pounds. Could a relative of the manatee be a lake monster? Maybe. Many believe that the manatee and it's cousin, the sea cow, may have inspired the tales of mermaids, though it would take a particularly lonesome sailor to mistake the face of one of these creatures for a beautiful woman.

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06 Apr 02 - 02:02 PM (#684571)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees From: Amos Date: 01-Jan-02 - 10:53 AM

So all we need to save the Manatee is a network of solar-heat3ed canals linking Florida and Louisiana with the Sacramento Valley? Or were you going to transport them over the Rockies in huge tanks? Maybe convert some old tanker trunks. I don't think going around the Horn would work. Tough one....

Amos,
Your manatee/water-hyacinth solutions are unnecessarily costly and cumbersome. Here's whatcha do:
Gather up all the water in the Sacramento River Delta--water hyacinths and all--a tank at a time. Transport each tank, via tractor-trailor, from California to Florida, where a couple of manatees are dropped into each tank for however long it takes them to eat all the water hyacinths.
Then put the fat and happy manatees back in the Gulf and ship the hyacinth-free Sacramento River water back home.

Genie

P.S.
If you stuck a couple of jet skiers into each tank for the trip back to California, that would help solve the other half of the problem.

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06 Apr 02 - 03:03 PM (#684603)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Rustic Rebel

Khandu, Worry not, for the day will soon come that a new discovery was made and it will be that the sexual organs of the manatee are a aphrodisiac. That news will wipe them out, just like that troublesome black bear's gallbladder has done to them. Ah! but watch out, may come a day we find out eating Khandu balls will turn humanity into a powerful, non-sterile,always virile,higher-than-thou-art-life form.
Rustic

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07 Apr 02 - 01:47 AM (#684836)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,fe

They could have once been human. It is believed that some fifty million years ago, these animals left the land and went into the sea, continuing to breathe air but evolving into an aquatic lifestyle. The manatee's hind legs have been reabsorbed and only a cartilaginous structure remains.

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08 Apr 02 - 12:31 AM (#685311)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST

I don't understand the "invasion" part. Please explain.

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08 Apr 02 - 01:24 AM (#685327)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

Amos,
You said you've " been meaning to ask you if there should be a hyphen in anal retentive, or not?"

I don't know, but I'm pretty sure there's a colon.

Genie

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08 Apr 02 - 02:01 AM (#685336)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Genie:

I'm rolling on the floor -- groaning. :>}

A

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08 Apr 02 - 05:10 PM (#685706)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Lyle

Easy solution to the Manatee problem, but it is little known.

Ya see, Manatees love to have some meat in their diet once in a while, and they love to eat cats. But since they are used to plant life, they tend to choke on cats and die.

So the solution is to round up all the cats, throw them in to the Manatees, and lo and behold two rotten creatures are eleminated at the same time.

Lyle

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09 Apr 02 - 03:31 AM (#685955)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Genie

I understand they love to have guests for dinner, too, Lyle.

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09 Apr 02 - 03:42 PM (#686441)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,Lyle

Great one, Genie! I'm still laughing!!!

Lyle

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15 Apr 02 - 01:13 AM (#690215)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST

This is NOT a laughing situation:

Please connect to this web-site and read about the pathetic plight of these poor paleonithic throwbacks.

http://www.savethemanatee.org/adoptpag.htm

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24 Apr 02 - 08:46 PM (#697916)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,fe

How many men would it take to carry a manatee? Could they carry a manatee bare handed?

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25 Apr 02 - 04:09 PM (#698553)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Wincing Devil

I remember when I was stationed in Key West, (1982) Jimmy Buffett did some PSAs (Public Service Announcements), asking folks to slow down their boats and watch out for Manatees.

About 2 years ago, I was on a business trip to Sea World in Orlando. I work for the Biological Resources Divison of the US Geological Survey, and we got a behind the scenes tour. We were there just as a Manatee that had been struck by a propeller was brought in. They rehabilitate them and release them back into the wild.

People just don't need big honkin' power boats, that's all there is to it...

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25 Apr 02 - 04:15 PM (#698557)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: MMario

The truth of the matter is that the Dutch and Icelandics are training the manatees as shock troops in their takeover bid for world domination.

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26 Apr 02 - 11:50 AM (#699127)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Mmario, I see you are a man of vision, and you apparently have the ability to see things from a broad perspective. I applaud you.

I, too, have seen the Dutch connection in the damnable Manatee problem. It is just another diversion they have created. And, as usual, the masses have fallen for it.

I was loathe to mention the Dutch in this thread, for fear that I would be considered just one of those "conspiracy theorist" wackos. I have waited patiently for some one else to broach the subject. I thank you, Mmario, for being the bold one.

However, Mmario, I do want to mention to you something that I am certain you already know. By speaking publically about the Dutch Threat, you may have placed your life in danger. Think of Judge Crater, Jimmy Hoffa, and Amelia Earhart. Few realize that these three had recently spoken of the Dutch Threat shortly before they mysteriously vanished. I could name many others, some quite recent, but I shall not at this time.

Just take care!

khandu

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26 Apr 02 - 12:20 PM (#699141)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: MMario

I shall remain alert for the sound of klompen!

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26 Apr 02 - 12:46 PM (#699155)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: gnu

Ya know.... I hadn't thought about this when reading the other thread where much was brought to light about the impending and inevitable Dutch domination of the world, but an old friend of mine has been living with a Dutch woman for about six years now and she immigrated to New Brunswick with her husband as.... you guessed it... farmers. She left her husband, took up with my buddy and now she's working for Revenue Canada as a tax auditor !!!

So, he can easily export dirt back to the old country along with the beef cattle, show the shipping charges (by the kilo) in his disbursements on his balance sheet, and help the Dutch reclaim more shoreline at the expense of Canada. OOOOHHH, they ARE sneaky !!!

And they have control over the weather. My tulips and daffodils flowered just yesterday and right now it's snowing a blizzard.... six inches of wet snow will knock them to the ground and the Dutch will still have millions of 'em. Ruthless bastards !!!

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26 Apr 02 - 01:50 PM (#699195)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: van lingle

I've been boating in the lower half of the Florida peninsula for about 15 years now and have made friends with Manatees from Sebastian to Chokoloskee. I've never met a disagreeable one yet and I sure can't say that about Florida boaters who, to me, are the real problem. Many of them don't slow down in manatee zones but still consider themselves inconvenienced for some reason. Getting out in nature is just that, becoming part of it, not parading through it like some butchering conquistador. Mess with a manatee, you mess with me.

Dave Mattingly

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26 Apr 02 - 05:48 PM (#699306)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: khandu

Yes, gnu, yes. The Dutch are everywhere! It is quite disheartening to see their fingerprints in every area of one's life. I fear that we have waited much too long to undo the evil that has been unleashed upon the earth.

But, we must try, we must not falter, we must not fail, lest we all be found wearing wooden shoes!

khandu

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02 May 02 - 01:28 AM (#702609)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,.gargoyle

Why do you post this stuff to a Folk Music Area?

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09 May 02 - 12:01 AM (#707180)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST,fi

What is this? Is Khandu for real? Are catlauging and catspaw and Can Celly and Spikepole real too? What does this mean?

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09 May 02 - 04:18 PM (#707630)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: MMario

my god - I just realized we've been spelling it wrong - it's not the invasion of the Manatees - it's the invasion of the Man at Ease!

No! Fielding, Lane, Patterson and Swan, Layabouts at Large must be out to conquer the world!

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09 May 02 - 04:25 PM (#707636)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: catspaw49

Yes Mario, we are doing quite well too! We even have our own corporate sportswear! Seriously! Here's the artwork that was used for the sportwear......The logo is on the front and the other info is on the back.

Click Here

Spaw

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09 May 02 - 04:41 PM (#707648)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: gnu

Dearest Mr. Spaw :

Re your advert of whenever it was that I saw it, I would like to be considered, if you have the time and motivation, for the position of Junior Layabout at Large.

Note, if you will, that my experience fully supports my qualifications for this position. I am sure you'll take my word on that until such time as I get around to getting someone to do up a CV for me. In the meantime, just let me say that I am sure you will not be able to find a candidate of lower calibre for this position. However, if you actually seek one and should you actually find one, just as well, because I really don't know how I could fit any more dogs in my schedule.

Puppies are free... take two on your way out and shut the door behind you.

Sincerely,

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08 Nov 02 - 12:43 AM (#821309)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: GUEST

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08 Nov 02 - 10:18 AM (#821433)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Dang, I'm jealous.

A

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08 Nov 02 - 11:08 AM (#821478)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: EBarnacle1

There was an article in Messing About In Boats, October 15, 2002 ish, which stated that, as much as we in small boats may despise them, the PWC is here to stay.

It seems that those noisy, incompetent, dangerous people have a right not to be discriminated against. This is very much like the freedom of speech issue. If we shut them down, we create the potential to be shut down ourselves.

A simpler solution might be to convert all power boats in warm waters to jet power. That would mean that the only damage manatees would face would be from the impact of a hull clobbering them as their owners deliberately hit them for the pleasure of seeing a big, helpless, animal writhing in their wake.

The vessels to take a tribe of manatee to California already exist. they are the semiretired honeybuckets that used to take treated sewage [sludge] offshore to be dumped offshore into the Atlantic. Maybe we could dump less in an effort to dump less. That, of course would require that we eat less and become leaner and healthier.

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08 Nov 02 - 11:32 AM (#821501)
Subject: RE: BS: The Invasion of the Manatees
From: Amos

Barnacle,

You are one complex individual, with a mind like a steel honeybucket!! LOL!!

But I loves ya anyway!


A

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