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Telephone/telecommunications songs

20 Mar 98 - 07:18 PM (#24219)
Subject: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From:

We are having trouble getting upgraded phone lines here in rural British Columbia. We are taking a busload of folks to a national commission hearing, a 4 hour drive, and need some appropriate songs to sing on the way (and as good TV and radio clips) to get up the spirits. Any one know somegood parodies or whatever on the subject?

Richard


21 Mar 98 - 09:10 AM (#24246)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Jaxon

How about "Operator" by Jim Croce?

Jack Murray


21 Mar 98 - 12:14 PM (#24255)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: chet w

Among older songs, try "turn your radio on" , recorded by most bluegrass bands, and "God's wonderful radio phone", which I believe was originally by the Mainer Brothers, but was recorded more recently by Norman and Nancy Blake. How about "wichita lineman" from Glenn Campbell?

Part seriously, Chet W.


21 Mar 98 - 01:11 PM (#24264)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Earl

Here's one from the 1890's. (I omitted the verses, I don't think they would be useful for a singalong.)

Hello! Ma Baby
(Howard and Emerson)

Hello ma baby, hello ma honey, Hello ma ragtime gal
Send me a kiss by wire
Baby my heart's on fire
If you refuse me, Honey, you'll lose me
Then you'll be left alone
Oh, baby telephone and tell me I'se your own


21 Mar 98 - 03:27 PM (#24280)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Moira Cameron

I don't know if this one would work, but what about Eileen McGann's "Man's Job"? She wrote it about working as a telephone line installer.


21 Mar 98 - 04:01 PM (#24284)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Barbara Shaw

There's "I Can Call Jesus Anytime (for he's always on the line)" by Lynn Morris.


21 Mar 98 - 07:24 PM (#24298)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Sir

The Staple Singers, a gospel group, had a top 40 song in the late 60's or early 70's along the same lines as "The Royal Telephone". (The jest of the songs being you can talk to Jesus in prayer as you would call anyone on the phone) Also Reba McIntyre had a song out a couple of years ago "Why Have'nt I Heard From You" that starts with giving a short history of the telephone. Then there's the rather risque´ "Telephone Man" from the mid to late 1970's.


21 Mar 98 - 10:40 PM (#24305)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Dale Rose

How about The Telephone Girl as done by The Red Clay Ramblers, or their source for the song, Arville Reed? My favorite versions of The Royal Telephone are by The Blue Sky Boys and by Burl Ives. Then there's No Telephone In Heaven by The Carter Family. I guess you could paraphrase that one to say No Telephone In BC.


22 Mar 98 - 12:32 AM (#24311)
Subject: Lyr Add: LOSING MY CONNECTION
From:

Saw this in rec.humor.funny About Windows 95. Losing my connection :-)

LOSING MY CONNECTION by Alan Zacher
to the tune of Losing My Religion
(Appologies to REM)

Windoze is bigger
It's bigger than Earth
But not quite as big as
The things that I must do now
To upgrade all my stuff
Oh no I need more RAM
I set it up

That's me in the corner
That's me on the help line
Losing my connection
Trying to keep up with OS/2
And I don't know if I can do it
Oh no I need more RAM
I haven't bought enough
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you Ping!
I think I thought I saw a GPF

Every nightmare
Of velour vest wearing Borg, I'm
Purchasing new hardware
Trying to cool my CPU
Like a Pentium that become a 286
Oh no I need more RAM
Resistance is futile.

Consider this
The OS of the century
Consider this
The OS that brought me
To my knees failed
Now all these open apps have
Come crashing down
Now I need more RAM
I thought that I heard you laughing
I thought that I heard you Ping!
I think I thought I saw a GPF

But that was just a dream
I hope that was a dream...



22 Mar 98 - 12:52 AM (#24313)
Subject: ADD: Jesus on the Mainline
From: Art Thieme

GET JESUS ON THE MAINLINE-TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT
JESUS ON THE MAINLINE- TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT
GET JESUS ON THE MAINLINE TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT
JUST CALL HIM UP AND TELL HIM WHAT YOU WANT!/

If you want salvation just tell him what you want! (3 times--then same last line)

YOU CAN STICK IN ANYTHING YOU DESIRE!)

If you want some lovin' tell him what you want...

If you want connecting tell him what you want...

If you want upgrading...

If you want?????

(HAVE FUN)


22 Mar 98 - 01:05 AM (#24314)
Subject: Lyr Add: VIDEO TAPE^^
From: Art Thieme

Steve Goodman wrote this great song:

IF YOUR LIFE WAS ON VIDEO TAPE,
Everything would be O.K.
You could smell danger coming,
And you could step out of the way,
When the grim reaper came to call,
You could arrange to be out of town,
Wouldn't you be in great shape,
If your life was on video tape!

If everybody had ESP,
Everything would be all right,
When your head hurts the morning after,
You could roll it back to late last night,
You could replay all of the good parts,
Cut out what you don't like,
Wouldn't we be in great shape,
If our lives were on video tape!

Now, I don't have a video recorder,
And I don't have a crystal ball,
But when I'm not with my baby,
I'm just about nowhere at all,
I can't predict the future,
And I sure can't see the past,

But I know it would all make sense,
If you'd love me in the present tense.

HTML line breaks added. -JoeClone, 24-Jul-01.


22 Mar 98 - 05:40 PM (#24353)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: BAZ

Hows about Sylvia's Mother Said? I think it's a Shell Silverstien Song. Baz


23 Mar 98 - 02:10 AM (#24385)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: alison

hi,

there was a pretty bad one in the 70's called "Hello, this is Joannie."

Hello, this is Joannie, I'm sorry but I'm not home,

But if you leave me your name and number,

I promise soon as I get in I'll phone."

It's basically boy meets girl, boy and girl fight, girl runs off and dies in a car crash, boy keeps phoning her answering machine to hear her voice. Happy little number doncha think??!!!

slainte

alison


23 Mar 98 - 04:38 PM (#24421)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Mountain Dog

You could check out John Schneider's "If the Phone Doesn't Ring, It's Me". This may be in the COWPIE archive, being a country tune from the early to mid 80s.

Also, for a darkly comic and still-relevant take on the evil power of the phone company (on this side of the border), be sure to locate a copy of "The President's Analyst", a film starring James Coburn, probably made in the late 60s. Funny and scary, roughly in that order.

And good luck in yanking the (Canadian) Bell's chain!


23 Mar 98 - 04:48 PM (#24423)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: dick greenhaus

Take a look at For Just One Dime. Rather neat telephone parody of Stan Roger song.


23 Mar 98 - 04:59 PM (#24425)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From:

Gentleman Jim Reeves' song from the early 60's (Okay, everyone start to sing) "Put your sweet lips a little closer to the..."


23 Mar 98 - 11:08 PM (#24452)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Barry Finn

First thing I do when I get home
Ya, ya,,,ya,ya
Call my woman on the telephone
Ya, ya,,,ya,ya

Prison worksong "Jody"
Barry


24 Mar 98 - 10:16 AM (#24484)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Sheye

One that I personally don't like: Here's a Quarter (call someone who cares).

Moving away from folk (as if that was folk), Jack Green recorded one: "I call; no answer; what's a matter with your telephone line?"

Didn't ABBA do one "Ring, ring, ring"

Where exactly are you talking about? A handy bit of research may be to follow-up on the Annual Reports/speeches of the CEO of Bell (good ol' what's-his-name). It's posted on the net; you can do a search for it. He talks about long-term cuts to staff (some 40% , I think it was), user-pay means of nickle and diming customers, other profit increasing strategies. If you want more info, send me an e-mail, I'll dig up the report at home and try to help out. Sheye@hotmail.com

Good luck!


24 Mar 98 - 11:00 AM (#24492)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Richard Wright

Thanks for the great suggestions folks. It's coming together.

Dick-- do you have any suggestions for finding "Just One Dime"? the Rogers parody. It's not in the database.

Richard


24 Mar 98 - 04:54 PM (#24521)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From:

Richard- Funny. I just searched for [Just One Dime] and it popped right up. Or you can try JUSTDIME, its filename.


25 Mar 98 - 08:02 PM (#24595)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Richard

Dick

Well there ya go. Wonder what I did wrong? Probably held my finger on mouse incorrectly.

Appreciate your help. It's a great song. We'll use it, with a few place name changes.

Richard


28 Mar 98 - 05:38 PM (#24793)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Rodney Rawlings

There was a song in the sixties called "Western Union."


29 Mar 98 - 06:38 PM (#24844)
Subject: RE: Telephone/telecommunications songs
From: Earl

There's "Wild About My Lovin'" recorded by Jim Jackson in the 20's and Lovin Spoonful in the 60's

Hello, central, what's a matter with this line
I want to talk to that high brown of mine
Cause I'm wild about my lovin, I like to have my fun
If you want to be a girl of mine you got to bring it with you when you come

or "Hello Central Give me Doctor Jazz" but I don't know any of the words.