09 Jun 02 - 05:44 PM (#726731) Subject: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Well, here we are again, Challenge!rs -- with one of your favorite subjects for a Challenge! - animals ;-) It's summertime, and we're goin' swimming . . . Come on in, the water's fine (hehehe).
Casuarina Club Coach Spells Speed With A 'C' -- (Darwin, Australia 30/6/01) An Australian coach is using a crocodile in the pool to encourage his swimmers to improve their speeds. Have fun, and Go For It, Challenge!rs!!! -- Áine |
09 Jun 02 - 06:41 PM (#726763) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: CapriUni Well, here we are again, Challenge!rs -- with one of your favorite subjects for a Challenge! - animals ;-) It's summertime, and we're goin' swimming . . . Come on in, the water's fine (hehehe). For a minute there, I thought you were going to give us the story of that :::ahem::: "amourous" dolphin.... |
09 Jun 02 - 07:13 PM (#726786) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: SINSULL "I'm being swallowed by a nine foot crocodile Oh no, there go my toes. Oh dread! He's got my head... Sorry. Best I could do on short notice. |
09 Jun 02 - 07:45 PM (#726806) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: SINSULL Anything to avoid cover letters and resumes. To the tune of "Babies In The Mill" I used to be in competitive swims Australian crawl my feat. Through waters flashed Past competitors splashed Impossible to beat. But gators' jaws and gators' claws Affected my technique. I have my hide; maybe not not pride. But shin and thigh and cheek. CHORUS:
Come into the water, Mark Davies Come in without ado. Its jaws are bound; its toes are clipped. And Darwin's counting on you.
The authorities condemn Mark's style 'Tis cruel to man and beast. In their opinion the crocodile Must be private pooled to feast. Casuarina folk are even divided. Some cheer the increased speed. But some prefer the slower pace And gore and bloody feed. CHORUS
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09 Jun 02 - 07:50 PM (#726810) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: SINSULL AW CRAP! CHORUS:
Come into the water, Mark Davies
The authorities condemn Mark's style
CHORUS |
09 Jun 02 - 07:52 PM (#726811) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: SINSULL SIGH Casuarina folk are even divided. Some cheer the increased speed. But some prefer the slower pace And gore and bloody feed. CHORUS |
09 Jun 02 - 11:39 PM (#726863) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: CapriUni Love it Sinsull, even without the line breaks! |
10 Jun 02 - 12:37 AM (#726878) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos Jane Crumley, the Swimming Team Fool(Tune: John Henry)When Jane Crumley was a little baby A-sittin' on her momma's knee, She said a ten foot salty on the Varsity Squad, Is gonna be the death of me, Lord, Lord Gonna be the death of me! Now Janie grew up to be a swimmer, And she moved to Darwin town; And the girls all called her the Dundee Momma 'Cuz she smoked all the boys in the town, Lord Lord, She smoked all the boys in that town. Now the big coach said to Jane Crumley, Gal, you better swim like a fool, There's a ten foot croc with a hide like rock, In the starting end of this pool, Lord Lord The starting end of the pool But Jane Crumley she said to Coach Davies I'm the fastest fin in this town Before I let that salty catch my ass I will roll right over and drown, Lord, Lord I will roll right over and drown! When the starting gun went off that morning Janie Crumley's suit was brown But when the days was over, Lord It was red from the shoulders down, Lord Lord Bright red fromt he shoulders down. Now Janie said to her pacer, Pacer, pour me that tea and cream 'Cuz I'm pouring on hots and I'm cutting five knots, Just look at that chlorine steam, Lord, Lord Just look at that chlorine steam. Now the bugger who raised up that salty, He thought he was something fine But Jane Crumley breast-stroked a ten-meter start Before that salty croc done nine, Lord, lord Before that croc done nine! Jane Crumley she dug into the water She cut it like a razor knife But five meters short of that finishing line That salty took her life, Lord Lord That salty took her life The salty got hold of one ankle And Janey just tore herself free Said I won't make the lap in four nineteen, But I'll make it in four twenty-three, Lord, Lord I'll make it in four twenty-three Now the salty he grabbed Janey's kneecap, And Janey was just half-alive Said I won't make the lap in four twenty three, But I'll make it in four twenty-five, Lord, Lord I'll make it in four twenty-five! Now Janey was crossing the finishing line As the salty pulled her down, She made four twenty-five as he grabbed her waist, And she rolled right over and she drown, Lord, Lord She rolled right over an' she drowned. Well they sponged up the rest of Jane Crumley And they put it on display by the pool And every class of freshmen gets to hear that coach say, "Now there was a true swimming fool, Lord, Lord There was a true swimming fool!" |
10 Jun 02 - 12:58 AM (#726883) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie "I'm being followed by a croc's shadow, croc's shadow, croc's shadow..." |
10 Jun 02 - 12:14 PM (#727010) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Uncle_DaveO Amos, a true masterpiece! Wonderful! Dave Oesterreich |
10 Jun 02 - 03:22 PM (#727086) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos Why, thankee, Dave!! :>) Made mah day! A |
10 Jun 02 - 03:24 PM (#727087) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine SINSULL -- Here's your song pasted together. I took out a line in the first verse (there were too many), and in the second verse, took out one of the 'not's in 'maybe not not pride'. If you need any more changes, let me know. BTW, do you have a title for this song? -- Áine
To the tune of "Babies In The Mill" |
11 Jun 02 - 12:48 AM (#727295) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Bein' Tailgated By A Croc Shadow [Please do forgive me, Cat Whatever-your-name-is-now, for taking liberties with your venerable "Moonshadow."] Well, I'm Bein' tailgated by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a croc's shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. God! If I ever slow my pace, I'll lose more than just this race, Oh, if I ever slow my pace, Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!, Ow! Ow! Ow! I won't have no feet no more. Well, I'm Bein' tailgated by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a croc's shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. And if I slow, I'll lose my ass; The croc'll do more than just pass! Yes if I slow, I'll lose my ass; Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!, Ow! Ow! Ow! I won't have no butt no more. He won't take long to catch me. He's got me in his sights! That reptile's bound to catch me! I'm racing from sheer fright! Well, I'm Bein' tailgated by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a croc's shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. And if this race I chance to botch, Th' croc will breakfast on my crotch, And if this race I chance to botch, Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!, Ow! Ow! Ow! I won't reproduce no more! Oh, I'm bein' followed by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow. And if he gets me in his mouth, All his teeth in my 'north and south,' Well, if he gets me in his mouth, Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!, Ow! Ow! Ow! I won't ever race no more! Well, I'm Bein' tailgated by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a croc's shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. The coach thinks I can win the prize With that reptile at my thighs. Coach thinks I can win the prize, But Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!, Ow! Ow! Ow! I'm not sure it's worth it all! Well, I'm Bein' tailgated by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a croc's shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. They say that croc's jaws are taped shut, He's only a shadow. They say that croc's jaws are taped shut, But, Ow! If he breaks it, there go my nuts! I won't have no 'nads at all! Well, I'm Bein' tailgated by a Croc Shadow, Croc shadow, Croc Shadow, Smokin' and strokin' in a croc's shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. Fade away: Strainin' and trainin' in a Croc's Shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. Racin' and prayin' in a Croc's Shadow, Croc's shadow, croc's shadow. Tailgated and baited by that Croc Shadow, Croc Shadow, Croc Shadow. Croc Shadow, Croc Shadow. Croc Shadow, Croc Shadow. |
11 Jun 02 - 09:31 AM (#727494) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Great big huge kudos to Amos and Genie! Two hard acts to follow,to be sure! Alex |
11 Jun 02 - 09:39 AM (#727500) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: MMario I'm enjoying these - just too brain numb to think of anything to say. (or lyrics!) |
11 Jun 02 - 09:42 AM (#727501) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Crocodile's Picnic Tune: Teddy Bears' Picnic
If you go into the pool today
Picnic time for a crocodile ©2002 Alex Riggle. All rights reserved. |
11 Jun 02 - 10:03 AM (#727523) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos LOL, ALex!!! Inspired. A |
11 Jun 02 - 10:10 AM (#727530) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: MMario Now THAT deserves a standing ovation - but my feet hurt - so it will be a virtual one! |
11 Jun 02 - 10:51 AM (#727564) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Aidan Crossey A parody of "My Grandfather's Clock" THE SALTWATER CROC I'm a saltwater croc, that has had his claws docked And my jaws are secured with strong wire I've been trained to pursue, every Oz swimmer who Shows signs that they're starting to tire If my nose hits their toes, then away they must go And leave distance between them and me For although I am bound, my handler has found Just a nudge and a swimmer will flee I was one day assigned, to trail close behind A swimmer who's in a big league And as I approached, as directed by coach I detected some metal fatigue I seized on my chance and I lunged for his pants And my muzzle no longer held fast I dined on his nethers, his torso was severed But the finishing time was world class |
11 Jun 02 - 10:59 AM (#727567) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Sorcha OMIGAWD!! You guys are awesome!! |
11 Jun 02 - 11:25 AM (#727576) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Mousethief, Sinsull, Derry, (and, to repeat, Amos)--you folks got my mascara running down my face! Such poesy! Genie |
11 Jun 02 - 12:17 PM (#727613) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: DonD CRAZY COACH MARK DAVIES (to the tune of 'The Whistling Gypsy Davy') Casuarina's team needed much more steam, Their coach thought they were just lazy, To goose his team, he dreamed up a scheme, Did crazy coack Mark Davies. Ah dee doo, ah dee doo dum day, Ah dee doo ah dum day dee, To goose his team, he dreamed up a scheme, Did crazy coach Mark Davies! No carrot on a stick will do the trick, But fear, he thought, would just maybe Speed up the strokes of the sluggish blokes, Said craszy coach Mark Davies. Ah dee doo, ah dee doo dum day, Ah dee doo ah dum day dee, Speed up the strokes of the sluggish blokes Said crazy coach Mark Davies! They're called the Crocs, a name that rocks, And crocs you sure do not baby, If a real croc swims free, well THEN we'll see, Said crazy coach Mark Davies. Ah dee doo, ah dee doo dum day, h dee doo ah dum day dee, If a real croc swims fee, well THEN we'll see, Said crazy coach Mark Davies. The cobbers and sheilas rolled like big ten-wheelers, When they saw a croc was a-tailing, They set record times in those tropic climes. Said the coach, my plan is not failing! ah dee doo, ah dee doo dum day, Ah dee doo ah dum day dee, They set record times in those tropic climes. Sai the coach, my paln is not failing. Coach Davies cried with unfettered pride, I've found the best motivation! I'm the MAN with the incentive plan, We'll be champions of all the Oz nation! Ah dee doo, ah dee doo dum day, Ah dee doo ah dum day dee, I'm the MAN with the incentive plan, We'll be champions of all the Oz nation! The secret's clear, to see and hear, It's been my scientific finding: You'll swim damn fast with a croc on your ass, And you hear his big teeth a grinding! Ah dee doo ah dee doo dum day, Ah dee doo ah dum day dee, You'll swim damn fast with a croc on your ass, And you hear his big teeth a-grinding. REPEAT FIRST VERSE AND CHORUS. line breaks added by mudelf ;-)
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11 Jun 02 - 12:25 PM (#727615) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: MMario ANOTHER winner! (you'd think Aine had crocs on your tails!) |
11 Jun 02 - 01:38 PM (#727691) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Hi Challenge!rs! Did you think I'd forgotten 'bout ya? No, I didn't - I just had a lot of trouble getting online yesterday. Things seem to be better today, though. Alrightey, here are the B.L.O.B.s so far -- and a right proud job you've all done!!
To Sinsull, for this itty bit of icky imagery: -- Áine |
11 Jun 02 - 02:23 PM (#727730) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: GUEST,Sonja The Sadistic Coach Mark Davies Parody lyrics by Sonja W. Oates © 2002 Tune: Unfortunate Miss Bailey A swim team coach in Casuarina Thought his crew were 'loafies.' He hatched a plan to speed them in Pursuit of bigger trophies. "Methinks Olympic Gold could bring me Thousands -- even millions! But how? Aha! the cleverest Solution is reptilian. Refrain: Oh, Mark Davies, Sadistic coach, Mark Davies! One afternoon the swimming team Was dawdling in the water, When unbeknownst to them Coach Davies Dumped a croc in after-- With duct tape on his muzzle And a 'manicure' for caution, Since killing Aussie jocks just might be grounds for legal action! Oh, Mark Davies, Sadistic coach, Mark Davies! The Casuarina Swimming Crocs Had long sought for a mascot, And thought perhaps this croc would do-- Till Nathan got his ass caught By one blow of the creature's tail, Which hurled him to the platform, Where he landed backside first-- A lousy 6-point 'prat form.' Oh, Mark Davies, Sadistic coach, Mark Davies! One naiad of the modern ilk Was cruisin' with her breaststroke, When from the rear she saw the beast And thought it was a bad joke. "Now, cut it out, you clown!" she cried! The croc, who'd got the tape off, Said, "Ma'am, delighted to oblige, But first I'll pull that drape off." Oh, Mark Davies, Sadistic coach, Mark Davies! The racing team by now was breaking long-held records hourly, But local Darwin Public Health officials scolded sourly: "Whilst we applaud the aim of your shenanigans acquatic, We must denounce your methods as A bit melodramatic!" Oh, Mark Davies, Sadistic coach, Mark Davies! ~SWO~ |
11 Jun 02 - 02:26 PM (#727734) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Sonja, well done! Love your "Tom Lehrer" style rhymes! Alex |
11 Jun 02 - 02:56 PM (#727759) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos LOL, Sonja!! A real winner, inspired by the Big Mascot!! :>) And like wise, DonD -- nice piece o'work!! A |
11 Jun 02 - 07:43 PM (#727970) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Here's a Silver B.L.O.B. to Sonja for this hilarious bit o' verse: One naiad of the modern ilk Was cruisin' with her breaststroke, When from the rear she saw the beast And thought it was a bad joke. "Now, cut it out, you clown!" she cried! The croc, who'd got the tape off, Said, "Ma'am, delighted to oblige, But first I'll pull that drape off." You all are amazing! -- Áine |
12 Jun 02 - 02:32 AM (#728131) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Maybe I'm just tired, but I don't feel like tweaking these lyrics any more--at least not tonight --, so here goes:
Lap Pool Croc |
12 Jun 02 - 09:56 AM (#728268) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief APPLAUSE! Wild cheers! VERY nicely done! Alex |
12 Jun 02 - 10:22 AM (#728291) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Here'a your B.L.O.B., Genie -- and may I add that you did a very nice job on this song -- for: Now the Bad gator's on the tail of Bryan Stone, Breakin' world records on his very own, Croc passed 'em all, a-shoutin' out, "Lord! Lord! Now watch what I can do off of that old high board!" Let's rock! Timer's runnin', tick-tock! Everybody's burnin' up the clock Includin' that ol' Lap Pool Croc. -- Áine |
12 Jun 02 - 11:38 AM (#728343) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie T'anks, Alex! You, too, Áine! Another B.L.O.B. for my trophy shelf! Oh, the thrill! §:- D |
12 Jun 02 - 11:42 AM (#728345) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Deda Boy, I was sure someone would beat me to it on using this tune: Waltzing with Bears (If the blue clicky trick fails, the song is in the DT) Our swimming coach Davies ain't right in the head His tactics have all of us shaking with dread It's not that he beats us or treats us with shocks No, he makes us go swimming -- swimming with crocs! CHORUS: We go swi- swi- swi-, swi- swi- swimming with crocs Creepy crocs, sneaky crocs, teethy crocs, too Coach Davies knows there's not a thing we won't do So we can quit swimming, swimming with crocs Our team's from Australia, dear old Darwin High And we were straight losers till Davies arrived He tried giving pep talks and hopes of a prize But now he just says we can swim fast or die! CHORUS That croc's big and hungry and ugly as sin Coach Davies don't care -- he just pushes us in The tape on those jaws doesn't look fit to last When it's inches behind you and closing in fast CHORUS We promised Coach Davies that we would be good And work out and practice and win like we should If only he'd let us try swimming croc-free But he leered like old Hook at his hapless mate Smee CHORUS We complained to our friends and our sisters and brothers We ran to our teachers and fathers and mothers At first they all rallied and seemed very sweet Till they saw how we'd scored at the regional meet CHORUS We're swimming like dolphins, we're faster than fish We're running more prizes than even we wished But put him in front of a toothy croc's grin And a damn kangaroo would grow gills and a fin! Coach Davies, the sadist, is happy right now But we will get even, somewhere and somehow We'll see how he likes it when he gets a taste of the fear in the water when he's being chased. Last CHORUS: He'll go swi- swi- swi-, swi- swi- swimming with crocs Creepy crocs, sneaky crocs, teethy crocs, too Coach Davies, Coach Davies, now what would you do So you can quit swimming, swimming with crocs? We go swi- swi- swi-, swi- swi- swimming with crocs Creepy crocs, sneaky crocs, teethy crocs, too Coach Davies knows there's not a thing we won't do So we can quit swimming, swimming with crocs
line breaks added by mudelf ;-) |
12 Jun 02 - 11:53 AM (#728359) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: MMario BRAVA!!!!!I now have my contribution for summer camp campfire song! |
12 Jun 02 - 11:58 AM (#728364) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Ausgezeichnet! Simply superb! I especially like the line about the kangaroo growing gills and a fin! Hats off to Deda! Alex |
12 Jun 02 - 12:49 PM (#728420) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Deda Shucks, gosh, shucks again, thanks, fellas, hiccup, giggle. MMario -- do you mean there's a chance that real people will actually sign these lyrics? Wow, what a concept! Knocks my socks clean off! Gosh and shucks again. |
12 Jun 02 - 12:55 PM (#728427) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: MMario a pretty good chance, yuppers! |
12 Jun 02 - 01:28 PM (#728461) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Deda SING, of course, I meant. Unless this is a summer camp for the Deaf, in which case I guess they'd be signed. But I was trying to say "sing". |
12 Jun 02 - 03:28 PM (#728575) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor Bryon The "C"
Somewhere beyond the "C"
Somewhere beyond the "C" |
12 Jun 02 - 03:37 PM (#728581) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Nice, Jack! I had a time placing the melody until I saw the "never again" line! Very good! Alex |
12 Jun 02 - 04:06 PM (#728597) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: MMario *gbcg*+ I figgered the tune out with the first line!
+ = great big crocodile grin |
12 Jun 02 - 04:26 PM (#728624) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos Deda: A chip of the old starting block, Sis!! Way ta go!! Prolly not whut our mum had in mind, but what the hey!! LOL!! A |
12 Jun 02 - 04:38 PM (#728636) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Trapper Sorry I've been away for so long! The entries have been GREAT! I'm kind of rusty, but here's a go... - Al
CROCODILE STOCK |
12 Jun 02 - 05:57 PM (#728684) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Abso-bloody-farking-lutely fabulous, Trapper! Alex |
12 Jun 02 - 06:55 PM (#728732) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: GUEST,Jack the Sailor I LIKE it trapper But they'll never heal the wounds we got HAHA |
12 Jun 02 - 07:55 PM (#728778) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Three more great entries -- leading, of course, to three more B.L.O.B.s: To Deda, for this pretty piece of Peter Pan-ery: We promised Coach Davies that we would be good And work out and practice and win like we should If only he'd let us try swimming croc-free But he leered like old Hook at his hapless mate Smee To Jack the Sailor for the omious warning of: Somewhere beyond the "C" Somewhere waiting for me A crocodile with a big smile And watches the kids that go swiming And a great big hello and hug to Trapper (welcome back to the Challenge!, darlin'!) and a B.L.O.B. for this definitely un-rusty bit of verse: But as weeks went by and more swimmers died Coach Davies got threatened by official guys So he sealed the croc's jaw with a roll of duct tape And he clipped off his claws to lessen his scrape But they'll never heal the wounds we got Swimming fast from the crocodile stock Said our namesake in Darwin town, "The strongest will survive!", ...and the rest will drown! Way To Go, Challenge!rs!! -- Áine |
12 Jun 02 - 08:59 PM (#728832) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Wow, Deda! Fan-f**in'-TAS-tic! I especially like the verse about Hook and Smee! And I WOULD like to see someone sign it! --- Jack, Trapper, great job, both of yez! Genie P.S., All the parodies have been great, but I think Amos's ditty should win the Authentic Folk Saga prize--for sounding just like so many 'real' folk ballads [complete with severed limbs, blood-soaked clothes, and the triumph of the human spirit even in the face of cruel death]! |
13 Jun 02 - 04:56 AM (#729004) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: GUEST,Sonja Áine, Alex, and Amos [aka "AAA"], thanks for all that kudos for my first bit of crockerel, above! You know it just encourages me, though, so you asked for it! [Fanfare]
Casuarina Races |
13 Jun 02 - 05:10 AM (#729008) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Omigod! Touché! ROTFL! Alex |
13 Jun 02 - 05:22 AM (#729014) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Davies's Danger Waters Parody lyrics: Genie Tune: "Danger Waters" And I holler, "Why?" and I holler, "Why?" And I holler "Why the crocodile in de pool wit' me?" First de coach count "One," den de coach count "Two," Den 'e t'rows in de croc and I holler "Davies,have mercy!" First we dive in de pool, 'e says we goin' too slow, Make de croc chasin' after, make me race from de terror! And I holler, "Why?" and I holler, "Why?" And I holler "Why the crocodile in de pool wit' me?" Give me back me Speedo, give me back me Speedo, You can give back me trunks, you beast! Give me back me Speedo! Let me out! Let me out! Danger waters in de pool now, let me out! Let me out! Let me out! Danger waters in de pool now, let me out! And I holler, "Why?" and I holler, "Why?" And I holler "Why the crocodile in de pool wit' me?" line breaks added by mudelf ;-) |
13 Jun 02 - 05:29 AM (#729022) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Aidan Crossey The by now customary entry to the tune of "Nell Flaherty's Drake". MY NAME IT IS BRUCE A swimmer am I of some fame and renown I'm slick and I'm fast and I'm rarely surpassed And never outclassed when the chips they are down But try as I might (and I try day and night) I cannot improve on my personal best But my coach has a scheme, "It'll work like a dream" He cheerfully beamed and he stuck out his chest Well I had a shock, when I saw the croc Says I to the coach, "Hey Mate, what's the game?" "Oh don't be a fool! Get into the pool. It's totally cool, he's perfectly tame! But I'll guarantee … and soon you will see That your rate of progress will greatly increase One little nudge and by Christ you will budge - As God is my judge! – like lightning that's greased!" That cold-blooded beast like a monster unleashed With a swish of his tail commenced his pursuit And I like an otter sliced through the water But the crocodile gained on me foot upon foot Till his scaly nose brushed on my toes And I like a rocket leapt up on dry land And so, since that day, I'm sorry to say My career as a swimmer has come to an end God damn his oul' scales and his oul' horny tail That amphibious reptile who caused me such dread I'll not rest in peace till that ancient oul' beast Is murdered, deceased or otherwise dead I'll dance a cotillion on that reptilian Vile crocodilian's freshly-dug grave And I'll raise a loud cheer the instant I hear He'll no more interfere with a bold swimmer brave I detest his oul' snout and his toothsome oul' mouth His hideous pout and his hypocrite's tear Neither smoothie nor charmer, encased within armour He thinks he's got nothing and no-one to fear But if Tarzan the apeman, got into a scrape, man The watery reptile would soon rue the day Cos the Lord Of The Jungle is known not to bungle When he wrestles with reptiles in mortal affray duplicate post deleted by mudelf ;-) |
13 Jun 02 - 05:29 AM (#729023) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Er... that should be "And I holler, "Why de crocodile...," not "...the crocodile..." [Gotta be consistent, y'know.]
Also, I forgot to format the html so that the line breaks within verses would post. E.g.: Sniff! [shedding crocodile tears of remorse] Genie |
13 Jun 02 - 05:36 AM (#729025) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Ah, Aiden! Yet another "Nell Flaherty" masterpiece! Bravissimo! |
13 Jun 02 - 08:42 AM (#729090) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Three more great ones to add to the book!! Here are the requisite B.L.O.B.s for you wonderful Challenge!rs: To Sonja, for this verbal vision (ouch!): Coach Davies said, "Let's go for the prize! Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Says I, "I'm already circumcized! Ohmigod! Oy, vay! To Genie, for this snappy lil bit: Give me back me Speedo, give me back me Speedo, You can give back me trunks, you beast! Give me back me Speedo! And to derrymacash, for this wonderful witty moment of Zen: God damn his oul' scales and his oul' horny tail That amphibious reptile who caused me such dread I'll not rest in peace till that ancient oul' beast Is murdered, deceased or otherwise dead I'll dance a cotillion on that reptilian Vile crocodilian's freshly-dug grave And I'll raise a loud cheer the instant I hear He'll no more interfere with a bold swimmer brave Yee-haw, you all!! -- Áine |
13 Jun 02 - 12:29 PM (#729236) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos LOL Derry!! Gracefully cut! A |
13 Jun 02 - 12:36 PM (#729244) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief This is such a talented group! Just amazing! Alex |
13 Jun 02 - 01:17 PM (#729282) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Deda These are all just SO bloody AMAZINGLY GREAT!! The Challenges are rapidly becoming the most fun I have with my clothes on! *VBG* And the company we keep here -- these are serious talents I'm getting to share a virtual room with. I love all the choices of originals to parody, especially. Amos' John Henry is just a scream, and brilliant as usual (but of course I've always known he was brilliant). Sinsull's Babes in the Mill was great and also reintroduced me to a very long forgotten song. Genie! Yikes -- Three of them, and they're ALL SO GOOD, and so well done. I'm blown away. I hadn't thought of "Danger Waters" for a long time, either. Mousethief's Teddy Bear's picnic is great too, I can visualize a croc waddling along to that tune, at about the pace of Peter & the Wolf's duck. And Derry is never less than a genius. (I looked at your "Reckoning" site and listened to some of your tunes, and I'm awed, absolutely awed.) (OK, so I can't help it I'm overusing the word "Great" here. Sorry.) DonD, Sonja (both of them!), Jack the Sailor, and Trapper! All fabulous. Thanks, thanks, thanks to all. |
13 Jun 02 - 01:40 PM (#729308) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Just a little toss-off. Remember that doo-wop song from the late 50's, by the Cadillacs, called Speedoo? Needs a little updating, don't you think?
Speedo
Well I'm swimming in my Speedo with a croc swimming up my ass (mm-hmmm)
Now that croc has et my speedo and I don't dare swim on my back (mmmm-hmmm)
He threw it in with Mo (whoa-oh)
Now I'm swimming with that crock-o and I'm turning in new record times (mmm-hmmm)
Now someone lost a toe
Now I got me a new Speedo and that croc ain't touched me again (mmmm-hmmm) Repeat and fade: Mmmm-hmmm. Mmmmm-hmmmm. Copyright ©2002 Alex Riggle. All Rights Reserved. |
13 Jun 02 - 01:55 PM (#729322) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos LOL, MT!! Love that doowop rhythm, mmmhmmm! A |
13 Jun 02 - 04:59 PM (#729467) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Aidan Crossey What does one say? Deda ... go raibh míle maith agat! Slán go fóill ... Aidan |
13 Jun 02 - 06:36 PM (#729533) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Hey mousethief, does writing a 'toss-off' make you a 'tosser'?? ;-) Here's your B.L.O.B. for this tasty, but tiny, tidbit (hehehe): Now that croc has et my speedo and I don't dare swim on my back (mmmm-hmmm) Yeah that croc has et my speedo and I don't dare swim on my back (mmmm-hmmm) I don't want the girls at poolside, to see exactly what I lack (mmm-hmmm) -- Áine |
13 Jun 02 - 07:00 PM (#729544) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief I'm a tosser I'm a flosser And I like Geoff' Chaucer... |
13 Jun 02 - 09:32 PM (#729622) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Áine Alrightey then, Challenge!rs -- Let's don't let any moss grow under our collective feet, lest they get chomped on ;-) -- Here are your deserved Cow Chips, with a big thanks and mucho cudos to you all. Remember to sharpen those crayons before you go to bed; 'cuz there's likely gonna be a new Challenge! for you in the morning: Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Shamrock Cluster (The Shamrock Cluster is awarded for a very high level of imagination, imagery, and/or creative use of language in a song): Bein' Tailgated By A Croc Shadow by Genie Casuarina Races by Sonja Crocodile's Picnic by mousethief Crocodile Stock by Trapper Davies's Danger Waters by Genie Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Harp Ribbon (The Harp Ribbon is given for being able to make The Keeper of the Book fall on the floor laughing OR make her short out her keyboard with tears): Come Into The Water by Sinsull The Saltwater Croc by derrymacash Speedo by mousethief Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Guinness Crest (The Guinness Crest is awarded for causing both Harp Ribbon conditions within one song): Lap Pool Croc by Genie My Name It Is Bruce by derrymacash Winners Of The Golden Cow Chip Award With Memorial MMario Silverplated Spittoon (The GCCWMMSPS is awarded to the Challenge! entry which evokes an instantaneous bubbling up of frothy mirth from out of the lips of the Keeper of the Book and onto her monitor screen): The Sadistic Coach Mark Davies by Sonja Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration (The Doo-Lyn Ditty Digger Decoration is awarded for the best cow chip chunking Country version of a song in a Challenge!): Jane Crumley, The Swimming Team Fool by Amos Winners of the Golden Cow Chip with Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award (The Super Special Sandstone Sheila-Na-Gig Ocarina Award is given to the Challenge!rs who warm the cockles and create a special warm and fuzzy feeling in the heart of the Keeper of the Book in a song): Bryon The 'C' by Jack the Sailor Crazy Coach Mark Davies by DonD Swimming With Crocs by Deda |
13 Jun 02 - 10:13 PM (#729648) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Mousethief, we should all be able to "toss off" gems like that! LOL! Áine, my cup runneth over with Cow Chips. Thanks! Genie P.S., Deda, are you really Amos's sis? Do you look like him [minus the beard, of course]? You seem to share the family genes for penning witty rhymes. |
14 Jun 02 - 12:41 AM (#729705) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos IF she ain't we have an awful lot of family history to rethink!!! A |
14 Jun 02 - 12:53 AM (#729710) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie You mean just think of all those opportunities you passed up for nothin' if she ain't really your kin, Amos? §;- ) |
14 Jun 02 - 11:48 AM (#729953) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief Thanks, Aine for the cow chips! And thanks for the nice comments everybody and thanks to all the lyricists for the great belly-laughs! I love this programme! Alex |
14 Jun 02 - 12:04 PM (#729962) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie All you folks who are getting big yuks at the croc's expense, click here. |
14 Jun 02 - 12:41 PM (#729985) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Amos Genie...I gotta be honest, here -- I think we did better! A |
14 Jun 02 - 12:46 PM (#729988) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Yeah, but Disney made more $! §;- ) |
14 Jun 02 - 12:49 PM (#729993) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: mousethief True but they could make money on a cartoon movie about a dung beetle called Stinker. Or have they already? Alex |
14 Jun 02 - 01:14 PM (#730014) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Deda Yup I'm Amos' real live sister -- same mother and, so far as we can tell, same father. When he'd bring his (mostly)weird, leering friends home, the first thing he'd say as they crossed the threshold was, "Keep yer hands off my sister!" I wuz honored. And some of them actually even did. Which was probably for the best. We don't look that much alike. Same hair color, before I started restoring it. He's coming to visit, maybe we can get up a photo of the two of us. |
14 Jun 02 - 03:07 PM (#730104) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Genie Awwww, what a warm, fuzzy sibling story, Deda. I have a brother two years older than I am, and when he'd bring his buds over to the house, he's say to ME, as they crossed the threshold, "Keep yer hands of my buddies!" And I did [though not always by choice!]. Please do get a shot of the two of you and post it at the Cafe, y'heah? Genie |
15 Jun 02 - 10:46 AM (#730493) Subject: RE: SONG CHALLENGE! - Part 83 From: Paul from Hull Its taken me an HOUR to read through this Thread with laughing so much.... Superb stuff! |