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Lyr Req: Jake & 10 Ton Molly (B. Staines)

15 Jan 97 - 12:27 PM (#1347)
Subject: Lyric Req: Jake & 10 Ton Molly (B.Staines)

Anyone with info/lyrics to a recitation performed by Bill Staines, written by Mike Agranauf(sp) entitled The Ballad of Jake & 10 Ton Molly or electronic/snail-mail address for Mike (or Bill S.) Please, contact me directly at

Last I heard Bill perform this was about 5 years ago at Kerrville Folk Fest He introduces it as a white collar hero story. It's about an engineer at Avco, whose tank project (10 ton molly) is axed by budget cuts, and the mayhem from Jake & Mollys "one last farewell run"

Many Thanks & Cheers to one & all, jack

17 Jan 97 - 05:09 PM (#1407)
Subject: RE: Lyric Req: Jake & 10 Ton Molly (B.Staines)
From: Susan of DT

Mike Agranoff is touchy about his copyrights-he is the only one to refuse permission to the DT (I think), so he would not want his words on the net.

If Folk Project or Northern New Jersey Folk Music Society has a page, you can try to reach him thru them to ask for words.

20 Jun 06 - 09:30 PM (#1765164)
Subject: Lyr Add: BALLAD OF JAKE AND 10-TON MOLLY (Agranoff
From: Jim Dixon

Copied from Mike Agranoff's web site:

^^ Mike Agranoff ©1988

They tell it still at truck stops along old I-95.
It's whispered on the CB all along the midnight drive.
Some say it's just a story, but these eyes saw it done
When Jake and Ten-Ton Molly made their one last farewell run.

It happened back in '72, as near as I recall.
Watergate was in the news, and Nixon 'bout to fall.
The last Apollo flight came home, the Vietnam War was lost,
And the budget men sat down to figure what it all had cost.

They said, "We've squandered megabucks, and if the truth be known,
It's the cold gray morning after the greatest party ever thrown.
It's time to roll back aerospace, cut down on defense spending."
So the word went out. The squeeze was on. The boom years, they were ending.

Jake had worked at Avco since 1954.
No paneled office had he there, no name upon the door;
But with slide rule, square, and drafting board, intuition, faith, and zeal,
He could take a wild half-baked idea and turn it into steel.

But times had not been good of late, and rumors made the rounds
About which contract would get cut, whose project would go down.
There had been no layoffs, at least not yet (Knock on wood!),
But Avco's business was defense, and business wasn't good.

Jake left for work one morning much like any in July,
By habit, kissed someone who must have been his wife goodbye,
Wheeled his Datsun out the drive, New England Thruway bound,
Joined ninety thousand other cars as up the ramp they wound.

Six lanes run to Stratford, forty miles from here.
Toll booths every fifteen miles. You never make third gear.
Construction in the left lane, a truck stalled in the right,
And a Plymouth wagon on his bumper close enough to bite.

Jake had a CB radio back when CB first began.
We had but nineteen channels then, a small, but close-knit clan.
I spoke with him that morning. He was eastbound, me going west,
And as his troubled voice went out of range, I wished him all the best.

Jake arrived at work that morning twenty minutes late.
His parking spot was taken. He walked four blocks to the gate.
He missed the coffee wagon, dropped his doughnut on the floor,
When from the office, his boss called, "Jake, come in and close the door."

Eighteen years at this old drafting board. Isn't that a laugh?
But they say, "We've lost the contract, and we've got to cut back staff."
A couple of weeks severance, some vacation pay past due,
I'm fifty-six years old now. What am I supposed to do?

Get a cardboard box from shipping. Pack up tools and books.
Wander the halls aimlessly avoiding people's looks.
Make the rounds of friends and colleagues. Shake hands as faces blur.
And for last, let's go see Molly. What's to come of her?
Poor old Ten-Ton Molly! What will become of her?

Out the door, 'cross the street, out to the testing shed
Where Molly waited patiently as if asleep or dead.
Snap the switch. Flourescents bathe her in their cold blue light.
"Hiya, girl. How ya doin'? Boy you're a pretty sight!"

Twenty tons of armor plate. A diesel heart inside.
Caterpillar treads forty inches wide.
Dully gleaming olive drab on flanks and turret gun.
Sixteen hundred horsepower! My God, how she could run!

I was there at your conception. I was midwife to your birth.
My pencil was the implement that gave you life on Earth.
I know your insides inside out. Each bolt and bearing cap.
But they say now you're superfluous. They'll melt you into scrap.

I'll climb inside you one last time and take the pilot's seat,
Down the turret, dog the hatch, controls at hands and feet.
Go through the old routine once more: Hydraulic pressure - go.
Fuel tanks - filled. Electrics - charged. All gauges read just so.

All of their own volition his hands go through the routine.
With no help from his brain, his eyes watch telltales turn to green,
When suddenly a sound cuts through his dreaming like a knife,
When with a whir from the hydraulics, the big diesel springs to life.

"What the hell'm I doing?" Jake asked no one nervously.
Molly didn't answer. She just purred contentedly.
Then the weight slipped from his shoulders, and out his laughter rang.
"Oh well, if I'm going to go, I'm going with a bang!"

He eased the lever into low, throttle up a crack.
Molly hunched and started out, and Jake he settled back.
Grinning like a madman now, without a fear or care,
They blasted through the test-cell wall as if it wasn't there.

Chain-link fence loomed in their path, went down beneath the treads.
A flashing glimpse of startled eyes and wildly turning heads.
Out onto Main Street, Stratford, laughing madly at the jest,
Turned left onto the entrance ramp: "New England Thruway, West."

Jake cut in the supercharger. Warning lights winked red.
He swung into the passing lane and let her have her head.
"I've really built you well," he crooned. "You've turned out quite a lady."
And the traffic scattered left and right as the tank bore down at eighty.

"Where's that God-damned Plymouth that tailgated me this morning?
I'll ram my cannon up his ass, and let that be fair warning!"
They came to the construction site. "Squeeze right" the road-sign said,
And the road-sign turned to flinders as Jake forged straight ahead.

Then over Molly's rattling roar he heard the siren's wail.
Connecticut State Trooper fast approaching on his tail.
The cop pulled up. Jake looked across, smiled, waved howdy-do.
The trooper shrugged and fell behind. What was he to do?

Jake reached up to the radio, switched to the CB band.
"Breaker, breaker number nine. This here's the Iron Man.
I'm headed west on 95 and headed straight on through.
You truckers want to convoy up? I'll clear a path for you!
Me and Ten-Ton Molly, we can clear a path for you."

I was in the Exxon station filling up with diesel two.
I'd left the CB on, and from the cab Jake's voice came through.
Flipped a twenty to the gas jock. (That could fill my tanks back then.)
Swung my rig onto the cloverleaf and headed west again.

I'd timed it right. They overtook me in a little ways.
I never saw a convoy such as that in all my days.
Cop cars mixed with semi rigs of every size and rank,
And at the head of that parade, a God-damned freaking tank!

As Molly pulled abreast of me, I swung into her wake.
The convoy fairly shook the ground. A Richter-7 quake!
Sirens, air horns, treads, and tires, diesels' throaty sound.
Juggernaut a mile a minute, New York City bound!

But then Jake slowed the pace, for he could see from where he led
That bane of every Thruway driver: tollbooths dead ahead.
He aimed for the exact change lanes. Kablam! Three lanes were gone!
Tossed a quarter in the rubble, gunned his motor, and drove on.

For fifty glorious miles went that triumphant cavalcade.
Thruway to the Cross-Westchester traveled the parade.
Then Jake took Merritt Parkway west. That road was banned to trucks,
So we peeled off while the cop cars followed. We all wished him good luck.

We followed him by CB long as he remained in range,
Till one by one, we lost his signal. Man, it seemed so strange
To stand beside the interstate with fifty other drivers,
Strangers till an hour ago, now comrades and survivors.

We heard it by the grapevine that they drove on till at last
At Times Square and 42nd Street, he just ran out of gas.
The cops were very gentle as they led Jake off that day,
And they busted up three wreckers getting Molly towed away.

Jake stood his trial, did some time, but while he was in jail,
He took computer-programming courses in the mail,
Started writing video games, even sold a few.
Have you played that one where you're in a tank, and the screen shows you a view
Of highway, cop cars, trucks, and tollbooths...and you try to get through?

They play that game at truck stops along old I-95.
They drop their quarters in the slot, and down the road they drive.
Some say it's just a video game, but these eyes saw it done
When Jake and Ten-Ton Molly made their one last farewell run.

[Recited by Mike Agranoff on his album "...Or Would You Rather Get a Job?", 2001.]

21 Jun 06 - 01:05 AM (#1765274)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ballad of Jake and 10-Ton Molly (Agranoff
From: GUEST,Art Thieme

That is as brilliant as Michael himself. Small wonder.

You can find Mike in Basking Ridge, N.J.----unless he's moved. But I doubt it. Be sure to give him my best regards.----------- I still feel strange about the way I had to cancel a concert gig for their fine folk society a couple of decades back. My malady was acting up in the worst way and it was still a dozen maddening years before I would know what it was I had.

Mike wrote another fine recitation --- about a wonderful radio D.J. whose show was cancelled---back before radio gave up on itself and good music programming. This song you've posted reminds me of the earlier one.

Yes, be sure to give him my best!

Art Thieme

21 Jun 06 - 11:18 AM (#1765564)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ballad of Jake and 10-Ton Molly (Agranoff
From: Big Jim from Jackson

On one of Mike's albums he does the piece, and he does it when he performs live. I haven't recovered from his performance at the Big Muddy festival in Boonville, Mo. two and a half years ago! What a funny guy! And he has a song called "Railroad Bill" (not the old folk song) that describes the trials and tribulations of writing a folksong---great stuff. If anyone wants to book him, they will get their money's worth.

21 Jun 06 - 11:36 AM (#1765584)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ballad of Jake and 10-Ton Molly (Agra
From: Susan of DT

Thank you, Jim for posting this. I've always loved it.

21 Jun 06 - 12:07 PM (#1765614)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ballad of Jake and 10-Ton Molly (Agra
From: Midchuck

Old Songs '02, we held a belated 35th anniversary party with cheap champagne. A reasonable number of 'Catters were there. As were Chris Newman and Maire She-whose-last-name-may-not-be-pronounced. And both my offspring. At my request, Mike recited the whole thing, and very well, too.

My son was amazed, he had never heard it before and didn't know who Mike was. Thought he was just an old hippy who wandered in looking for free food and/or drink.

Maybe we can get him back in '07 for our fortieth.


22 Jun 06 - 08:36 AM (#1766431)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Ballad of Jake and 10-Ton Molly (Agranoff
From: breezy

The sandman ?

I first saw and heard Mike at the Herga club in harrow, North London 3 years ago

I said then that i would book him given the opportunty

It came along, I was so pleased I did.

One of our youger attendees has been in e-mail contact with him since, Mike reaches out and connects.

No club should pass up an opportunty to have him

jacey bedford is his british rep