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19 Jan 03 - 11:43 AM (#869921) Subject: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: dick greenhaus There's an undercollected gengre of folklore (at least recently)--the Tall Tale. Now, I know that there are thousands of these, for all sorts of conditions, but I'd love to see some referring to winter weather. It was so cold that.. our fire froze solid and we had to bring it indoors to thaw it out so's we could make coffee. when we talked, the words froze solid, and we had to thaw them over a fire to hear what we wuz saying. More, please? |
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19 Jan 03 - 11:55 AM (#869932) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: JenEllen we had to snap the dog off the fire hydrant (Don't forget Art Theime's one too! Something about it being so cold that the 'flashers' would walk up and describe themselves.) |
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19 Jan 03 - 11:59 AM (#869935) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Cluin "Before you throw a log in the Franklin, darlin'... kick them big green balls outside. They're farts." |
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19 Jan 03 - 12:26 PM (#869950) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: reggie miles When I read the thread title I thought you meant tall tales like this |
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19 Jan 03 - 12:40 PM (#869964) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Amos ...and when Spring came, and all those cusswords finally thawed out, the air was positively blue with vile language all being unfrozen at once....and we finally got to hear three solid months of cussing in an hour! |
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19 Jan 03 - 12:47 PM (#869969) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: JennyO reggie miles, when I clicked on your link, I got a big white window full of nothing which I can't close! Help! |
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19 Jan 03 - 01:14 PM (#869988) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Charley Noble It was so cold that we had to climb in the freezer chest to warm up! Charley Noble |
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19 Jan 03 - 01:51 PM (#870012) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: GUEST,NH Dave According to Dave Letterman a night or so ago, "It was so cold that men's tongues were frozen to the hookers!" Dave |
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19 Jan 03 - 04:03 PM (#870050) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Rapparee I remember once that it was so cold that when a house burned, the fire department simply took the frozen flames and stacked 'em on the ice of the frozen river. Come Spring we had the damnedest fogs you even heard of! Couldn't see the end of your nose! Why, if my mother hadn't given each of her childred a compass we couldn't have found our way home from school -- only we had to hold the compasses up REAL close to our eyes to read them, and that's why we all now have to wear glasses. All because of that cold winter. |
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19 Jan 03 - 05:14 PM (#870080) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: reggie miles JennyO, when I click on it it takes me to the Mudcat story teller's page, to a story that I submitted that is posted there, which is in itself a tall tale called "The One What Bitsed Me Washboard's Leg Off!". I'm sorry about the link not working for you. I'm afraid I don't know how to correct the error that has happened to you but if you contact one of the folks here at this site perhaps they could offer assistance. Again, I'm sawry about your misfortunate misdirection via that link. |
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19 Jan 03 - 06:36 PM (#870135) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Amos Jenny -- Try copying the link: http://www.geocities.com/doireanne/theonewhatbitsed.html and pasting it into your browser's URL window so it goes there. A |
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19 Jan 03 - 11:14 PM (#870258) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: JennyO Okay, I copied the link and it worked. Then I got brave and tried clicking on the link like I did yesterday, and it worked, too. Dunno what happened before. It just seemed to freeze and nothing worked on the window. I had to find another way to close it before I could turn off the computer. Anyway, nothing wrong with your link, reggie - must have been at my end. Great story, mate - I needed a good laugh! Jenny |
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19 Jan 03 - 11:28 PM (#870266) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: DonMeixner It was so cold that all the yodellers in the mountains had to wait until spring to see if they was in tune or not. |
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20 Jan 03 - 12:12 AM (#870285) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: GUEST So cold we had to break the flame off the lantern (or candle) to turn out the light at night. So cold we had to plant him in the ground upright, forze stiff he was, so we trimmed his toenails and drove him into the ground with a mallet. So cold the tress were cracking like rifle shots --and that's not a tall tale. So cold you had to back up while you were peeing. Richard Wright |
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20 Jan 03 - 02:23 AM (#870317) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Kaleea True stuff: It was so cold that the shirts & pants hanging out on the clothes line were frozen as if being worn by a runner. It was so cold that it had to warm up to snow. It was so cold that the smoke from the chimney was going downward & across the ground. It was so cold that when I rushed through the shower & went outside without drying my hair, that it froze & broke off as I put my stocking cap on while I ran to my car. It was so cold that my "Arctic Cat" Snowboots & Snowmobiling suit-- which were guaranteed to keep me warm as low down as -50 degrees--failed to keep me from getting frostbite. It didn't keep me warm, either! Silly stuff: It was so cold that the Northern Lights couldn't be lit. and . . . It was so cold that the Northern Lights had to be jump started. Actual joke attempted by Johnny Carson (a couple of days before Thanksgiving) just before dancing the Soft Shoe to 'Tea for Two': It was so cold . . .! "How cold was it?" It was so cold that everybody I saw around the studio today was wearing buckles on their shoes. (The joke obviously bombed, and Johnny had to explain that one of his soon-to-be-unemployed writers thought that people who wore buckles on their shoes resembled Pilgrims, who had a tough time during their first winter in America. unemployed??? DUH!!!!) |
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20 Jan 03 - 09:27 PM (#871044) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Art Thieme It was so cold you could freeze an egg on the sidewalk ! (Utah Phillips) It was colder than a teacher's wit !(Utah again) Art Thieme (in awe of Utah. He is da man!!!) |
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21 Jan 03 - 07:54 PM (#871855) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: kendall It was so cold, I saw a chicken walking with a "capon" U. Phillips. My thermometer went down so far, I had to go down cellar to read it. I put a bucket of hot water on the porch, and, it froze so quick, the water was still warm. The wind blew so hard, it unravelled a crowbar. (My Uncle Curt) And, it blew two rooster feathers through a grind stone. The snow was so deep, I saw a man poking around with a pole trying to find his chimmney. |
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21 Jan 03 - 08:39 PM (#871891) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Neighmond It was so damndable bitter and cold there were imps coming from the well and bottling it up to take to hell and sell. They put on parkas in North Dakota They are wearing 'coonskin coats in Birmingham. |
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21 Jan 03 - 08:48 PM (#871899) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Art Thieme On our farm there was a huge pond that was solid with lily pads. On each pad was a huge bullfrog. It got so cold so quick here in Illinois that the pond froze so quick it caught those frogs blindsided. They got their heads under water but there must've been a couple hundred thousand frogs legs stickin' up out the ice. We took a lawn mower. Harvested those. Sold 'em to a French restaurant. The ones the restaurant couldn't sell got took by a prosthesis company in France. Not sure what they did with 'em... (art thieme) |
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21 Jan 03 - 09:04 PM (#871907) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Neighmond AArt that reminds me of one my Grandma said once- It was raining one day and came along a cold snap and the pigeons all froze to the ridgepole and evetroughs of the church. They all got to beating their wings and flew off with that church and got tired about the time they flew over eastern Tenesee. they swung low and the church thawed and finally dropped unharmed to the sod nearby to where they were holding a salvation meeting, whereupon the minister looked at this church full of people who just came from the sky. The church door opened, and a priest poked his head out and looked. The minister looked at his flock, back at the priest in the church and said in his loudest baritone: "GOOD DAY, MISTUH JESUS! HOW'S YOUR DADDY DOIN' THESE DAYS?" FWIW Chaz |
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22 Jan 03 - 08:34 AM (#872103) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Charley Noble It was soooo cold that my cellular phone froze to my ear, and my ear broke off when I tried to hang up. Charley Noble |
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22 Jan 03 - 09:39 AM (#872158) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Rapparee It's so cold here in Kentucky right now that all of the cell phones conversations, television and radio programs, police calls, and so on are freezing solid as they pass through the air. Gonna be a real mess out there when it warms up..... |
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22 Jan 03 - 09:56 AM (#872180) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: dick greenhaus ..rattlesnakes froze solid, and we used 'em for tent pegs. Then we had a thaw, and the damned tent crawled away. |
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22 Jan 03 - 10:16 AM (#872205) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Charley Noble It's so damn cold that the kitty gang refuses to go out the cat door... So there! Charley Noble |
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23 Jan 03 - 09:49 PM (#873476) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Art Thieme So cold the chainsaw quit. We took a beaver and stuck an icicle up it's ass which got the teeth to chattering so good we just mowed those tall pines faster 'an ever. Art Thieme |
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24 Jan 03 - 03:36 AM (#873579) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: GUEST Say what you want, but my all-time favorite is It was cold as a witches's tit. (am I allowed to say that?) |
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24 Jan 03 - 09:08 AM (#873720) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Charley Noble It was so cold that we had to jump-start the kids to get them out of bed. But maybe we give icicles a try! Charley Noble, back up to two above this morning |
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24 Jan 03 - 09:29 AM (#873733) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Dave the Gnome In my courtin' days I convinced the then to be Mrs G that it was once so cold that my finger had snapped off and they put it back just by holding it on while thawing it! The one I like best though is a Mike Harding-ism. "I thought I saw a rubber glove barking but then realised it was just a dog blown inside out..." Cheers Dave the Gnome |
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24 Jan 03 - 09:44 AM (#873746) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: kendall Charlie, that sounds like something Woody Allen would do! It's cold enough here to freeze two dry rags together. Cold enough to freeze the nuts off a bridge. |
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24 Jan 03 - 10:06 AM (#873772) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Lyndi-loo It was so cold that I couldn't put the car into the garage because the headlamp beams had frozen solid |
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24 Jan 03 - 10:11 AM (#873777) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: *daylia* From a Mahto (Teton Sioux) document discovered in 1865 ... "Ravens fall from trees". Meaning the birds froze solid and fell from their perches. Not a 'Tall Tale' either! Those Ravens must be grateful for 'global warming'! And another story cold but true - when I was in about Grade 2 a big boy in Grade 8 dared a bunch of us little ones to touch the school's steel door handle with our tongues at recess. Never one to back down from a dare back then, I did ... and my tongue froze solid to the door handle in seconds. He took off howling with laughter, and they had to call the teachers out to pour warm water over my stuck tongue - MAN that hurt!!! Learned me good too! daylia |
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24 Jan 03 - 10:16 AM (#873783) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: JennyO Hi Daylia, that sounds like a good one for the "weird things I did as a kid" thread! {{{{(:-)}}}} Jenny |
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24 Jan 03 - 03:38 PM (#874054) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Nigel Parsons It was so cold that: When icicles hang by the wall, And Dick the shepherd blows his nail. And Tom bears logs into the hall, And milk comes frozen home in pail, When blood is nipp'd and ways be foul, Then nightly sings the staring owl, To-whit! To-who!—a merry note, While greasy Joan doth keel the pot. When all aloud the wind doth blow, And coughing drowns the parson's saw, And birds sit brooding in the snow, And Marian's nose looks red and raw, When roasted crabs hiss in the bowl, Then nightly sings the staring owl, To-whit! To-who!—a merry note, While greasy Joan doth keel the pot. Nigel (Quoting some old English bloke!!) |
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24 Jan 03 - 04:21 PM (#874082) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: jimlad It was so cold that Brass Monkeys were out looking for Welders (Hope this works outside the UK) |
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24 Jan 03 - 04:59 PM (#874106) Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Tall Tales--It was so cold that... From: Art Thieme "teacher's wit"-------not "witches tit" Art |