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12 Mar 03 - 08:36 PM (#908654) Subject: BS: New element discovered From: michaelr Latest discovery... A major independent research institution has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named "Governmentium." Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 11 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons. Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally take less than a second. Governmentium has a normal half-life of 3 years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes. This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as "Critical Morass". (This was forwarded to me via e-mail. No idea where it comes from.) Cheers, Michael |
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12 Mar 03 - 08:41 PM (#908659) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: John Routledge Looks like a parody on a Les Barker poem the name of which temporarily escapes me. |
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12 Mar 03 - 10:25 PM (#908721) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: mack/misophist Thank you. I knew there had to be a retional explanation for it all. |
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13 Mar 03 - 12:34 AM (#908797) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Rustic Rebel I actually was looking forward to a scientific discussion about a new element! That was funny though Michael. |
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13 Mar 03 - 05:10 AM (#908868) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Wolfgang old thread from 2001 with same title: New element discovered Only difference: Last time we read about it it was called administratium. Wolfgang |
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13 Mar 03 - 09:12 AM (#909019) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: GUEST,Mr Red ROTFLMAO I know what he sediment, but not what the element. so what is it's density? Dare we mwention confusion ? WIMPs? strange quarks? |
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13 Mar 03 - 11:32 AM (#909113) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Amos Governmentium is also unusual in that only two forces seem to be at play in its structure -- the "weak force" and gravity. Strange quarks and charm are both antipathetic to governmentium; however, governmentium's excessive density means that when those particles come within weak-force fields of governmentium the strange quarks and charm particles are sucked in and converted into morons. A |
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13 Mar 03 - 03:06 PM (#909316) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: John MacKenzie I am not a number, I am a free man!! To paraphrase Mary Queen of Scots [I think?] After I am dead, if you open me up, you will find GOVERNMENT PROPERTY carved on my heart. Giok |
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13 Mar 03 - 10:26 PM (#909578) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Don Firth This, I believe, ties in with String Theory. All of the neutrons are trying to pull the strings of all the other neutrons. Barring statistical anomolies, they cancel each other out and the net result is total inertia. I'm sure this somehow relates to Chaos Theory, but I'm still working that out. Don Firth |
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14 Mar 03 - 12:30 AM (#909637) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Bill D "I keep my quarks tied up with a piece of string. They form neutrons,and almost everything. (oughta be 'some' decent line here...but it's late) Because we sing, please pull the string!" (aww...needs work..feel free to mess with it. or not....) |
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14 Mar 03 - 02:37 PM (#910149) Subject: RE: BS: New element discovered From: Mr Red Bill D I'm sure you could have got "my Ding-a-ling" in there somewhere - It is now traditional - almost. |