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BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder

23 Jan 04 - 10:15 AM (#1099667)
Subject: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: freda underhill

PTSD

POST Traumatic Stress Disorder is a new disorder that has been identified by the Harvard School of Cyber Psychology, linked to trauma resulting from POSTS to discussion threads.

POST Traumatic Stress disorder accounted for 32% of visits to psychotherapists in the last financial year.

Symptoms include a sense of alienation, anxiety, fear of approaching discussion threads, dizziness, weight loss, obsessive interest in donuts, weight gain, a fixation of burnt toast and a compulsion to return to the site of the trauma and re-ignite the tension.

Dr Genevieve Rossiter has requested for volunteers who consider they may be suffering from the disorder to contact her at the Harvard School of Cyber Psychology, where she will be conducting a range of therapies with the assistance of a Nurse Ratched.

for further information, queries, or any volunteering, please post to this site. Further information will be shortly available.

downloaded from google.news


23 Jan 04 - 10:59 AM (#1099707)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: GUEST,disorderly

..eh.. i am feeling conerned.. it has taken me about twenty minutes to post to this site, and as i do i feel a sense of disorientation and numbness between my ears. will i be asked probing questions? (i'm not into probes..)
will donuts be provided?

curious


23 Jan 04 - 11:05 AM (#1099714)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Barry Finn

New Disorder? My brother & my singing partner have been suffering from this since Viet Nam.

Barry


23 Jan 04 - 11:09 AM (#1099716)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: GUEST

Barry, I do believe you missed the signPOST.

You may wish to do a U-turn, and re-read the original POST.

And here are some directions for you to follow on the second try at navigating this thread. Think of tongues in cheeks, and merry metaphors.


23 Jan 04 - 12:58 PM (#1099807)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: SueB

I only suffer from three of the eight listed symptoms, so I do not believe I will qualify for the study. However, I am experiencing some symptoms not listed - neurotic tendencies concerning hamsters, sudden cravings for blood, and the inexplicable desire to throw myself at the feet of musicians with the initials C.H. - and I am wondering if you could kindly direct me to a program that could help my friends and family understand me better and cope with my disease.

Thank you in advance for your kind sympathy.


23 Jan 04 - 01:04 PM (#1099814)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Rapparee

When its over and you get your official "cured" certificate in the mail and it bothers you that you got it and others didn't, is it then Post Post POST Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PPPTSD? If you mention this on Mudcat, does it become Post Post POST Traumatic Stress Disorder Post?


23 Jan 04 - 01:11 PM (#1099817)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: SueB

Rapaire, I really don't feel you're taking this very seriously. Joking around about other people's misfortune is kind of insensitive, and may be a symptom of problems of another kind. Really, I think you should get help.


23 Jan 04 - 02:52 PM (#1099859)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Rapparee

As an ex-Infantryman and a current Librarian, I have long needed help. I have long felt that I am an insensitive lout who demonstrated symptoms of another kind of problem. In my case, this was diagnosed as Acute Chronic Traumatic Poverty Disorder (ACTPD). While the cure is simple the cost is beyond my means and my insurance won't cover it.


23 Jan 04 - 03:02 PM (#1099868)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: artbrooks

Another common symptom is being unable to sleep at night, because of coutinuously waking up with a much cleverer response to a comment than the one you actually made. This has now been incorporated into Sleep Apnia studies, under the subset title of Post POST Correction Insomnia (PPCI).


23 Jan 04 - 03:09 PM (#1099875)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: harpgirl

SueB...I suggest the Neil Young Center for the Terminally Screwed. There is an excellent program for burned out groupies with bleached blond hair. What color is your hair?


23 Jan 04 - 03:18 PM (#1099889)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: artbrooks

I believe that all SueB would need to cure her of at least one of her unfortunate afflictions is a term as Grand Chairwarmer of the Clinton Hammond Fan Club...at least, I understand that there are a few people out there who think he comes under the heading of musicians with the initials C.H..


23 Jan 04 - 04:59 PM (#1099952)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: SueB

uh...how did you know about my hair?...are you guys spying on me?...is paranoia a symptom of something?

(and how did you know about my secret love for Clinton Hammond, have you been reading my diary?)


23 Jan 04 - 09:12 PM (#1100068)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Liz the Squeak

Sign me up, I'm in for all but 3 of those symptoms and I make up for those 3 with 5 of my own.....

Anyone seen a bag of marbles with my name on it?

LTS


23 Jan 04 - 09:21 PM (#1100077)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: lady penelope

So that's what the cats have been chasing up and down the corridor Liz, sorry about that.......................

Of course there's post paranoia. Fear of missing a critical post. this leads to two major symptoms. 1) Loss of job due to sufferer's inability to leave their computer for any length of time. 2) Sufferer becoming obsessed with one thread at a time.

Yes these things need investigating.


TTFN Lady P.


23 Jan 04 - 09:39 PM (#1100089)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: freda underhill

Further update has been received from Professor Genevieve:

Treatment for PTSD typically begins with a detailed evaluation and the development of a treatment plan that meets the unique needs of the survivor. Generally, PTSD-specific treatment is begun only after the survivor has been safely removed from a crisis situation.

If a survivor is still being exposed to trauma (such as ongoing cyber obsessions,determination to POST to threads, compulsion to get up in the middle of the night and mark smart cyber remarks, feeling victim to cyber abuse but being unable to think of the right respons, or foresaking loved ones who ask you to put out the garbage for imaginary companions who tell you they press the delete button), is severely obsessed or cybercidal, is experiencing extreme confusion or disorganized thinking, or is in need of web or chat site detoxification, it is important to address these crisis problems as a part of the first phase of treatment.

The first and most important step is to remove yourself from the source of toxicity/stress. Hence, anyone who feels they could be suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder should desist from reading or posting to this site immediately.

Please understand that POST TSD is a medically recognized anxiety disorder that occurs in normal individuals under extremely stressful conditions. I am collecting further data. Please contact me at this thread, we are committed to developing innovative and effective methods of control for people with PTSD and have a long term strategy dedicated to your cyber health and well being.

We offer a number of sanguine therapies, in combination with the International Society For Electrotherapy, and the International Cyberlonic Irrigation Society (for those with a particular addiction to the BS threads). Our research institute has been generously funded by Microsoft.

More to come

freda


23 Jan 04 - 10:12 PM (#1100110)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I have absolutely no symptoms of POST Traumatic Stress disorder. But those little guys who keep following me around - you know - the ones who talk in little bitty purple words - they've got all of 'em. In fact, they're downright eaten up with it.

Okay guys! No, listen up! We got one chance and only one chance to catch this old geezer. You with the tranquilizer gun, make sure the damned thing's loaded this time. And remember to keep the nets and straightjackets out of sight until we're almost up on him. The old sumbitch is gettin' sly like a fox. Ready! Aim! What in the double-dee hell was that noise? A "whoop"? Dammit! Are you idjits so friggin' stupid that I have to tell ya not to whoop until after we catch the old codger? I swear to God! If you damned people weren't my cousins I'd just shoot all of ya.

Tee hee!!! Whatta buncha nitwits!


24 Jan 04 - 08:53 AM (#1100305)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: GUEST,folkin'hysterical

every time i come near this website, i start to tremble.
my hands on my keyboards start to rumble.
sueB in your hair i vant to fumble

...but your expression gives me depression b/c your tresses give me stresses. paranoia is okay, most normal people experience it on a regular basis. if you weren't worried i would diagnose a dangerous stat of denial.

i have found your diary fascinating, and am not judegemental about your crush on CH.. you have an emotional developmental disorder which I could take great advantage of.. everyone has something special..

fh


24 Jan 04 - 09:00 AM (#1100310)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: The Fooles Troupe

I have a friend who gave me a nice blue glass marble mounted on a string to wear aound my neck, so that when people asked me if I'd lost my marbles, I could show them I still had one left.

Unfortunately, I put it in a safe place a few months ago - it must be still safe - I haven't found it yet...

Robin


24 Jan 04 - 01:46 PM (#1100453)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: harpgirl

that made me laugh, Robin! I'm getting one of those and will promptly lose it no doubt, (at least if you ask Kendall, anyway)!


24 Jan 04 - 06:06 PM (#1100615)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: The Fooles Troupe

Actually, when my mum died a few years ago, this same friend helped me with packing up and clearing out the house. In the process, I discovered the nice green bag my mum had made for me when I was in Primary School to hold my marbles, and it was still full. I remarked to my friend along the lines of not having really lost my marbles, just having forgotten where they were, and that inspired her when she saw the gift - she is just as financially embarrased as me, but has just a wicked sense of humour. I currently don't remember where I put that bag...

Robin


28 Jan 05 - 01:04 PM (#1391476)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: freda underhill

I have such bad POST traumatic Stress disorder tonight (or - 5.00am oz time - is it this morning?) that i can't sleep, dammit.

can someone put a spell on me or something. i have been raving deleriously and am attempting to relax.


hopefully

freda


28 Jan 05 - 05:18 PM (#1391679)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: GUEST,Frank

Get ready because there will be lots of young men and women coming back from Iraq that have it big time.

Many can't now get treatment because Bush has underfunded the Veteran's Administration hospitals. There are also returning vets on the streets. Just like what happened after Vietnam.

Bush doesn't care about them.

Frank


28 Jan 05 - 08:30 PM (#1391871)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Bill D

ex post facto --My earlier posts are all factual

post hoc, ergo propter hoc ...No pawnbrokers will lend money on lists of Martin Gibson posts.


29 Jan 05 - 11:15 AM (#1392282)
Subject: RE: BS: POST traumatic Stress disorder
From: Uncle_DaveO

SueB:

Just because people are really reading your mind doesn't mean that you're not paranoid!

Dave Oesterreich