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19 Mar 04 - 05:36 AM (#1140720) Subject: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover There has been umpteen threads devoted to right on homosexual wedding rights, but has anyone thought about poor jOhn's up hill battle in trying to make a decent woman of his hamster and marry in a church? Are inter-species marriages the way forward? |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:03 AM (#1140734) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Brenda Pets r us have run me up a nice little wedding dress, just need a church now. |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:15 AM (#1140740) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted Ben, Interesting thread...... Would I be right in saying that you are gay? Is this all a bit of a smokescreen to try and advance these bloody ridiculous "same sex marriage" ideas? |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:28 AM (#1140745) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Buffy the hamster slayer Relax, I'm here............. ooh, sorry, wrong thread. |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:32 AM (#1140750) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Curious I need a radox bath anyone care to join me ? |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:40 AM (#1140758) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: McGrath of Harlow el Ted A somewhat revealing post. |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:45 AM (#1140761) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover Nope, I ain't! |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:49 AM (#1140763) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: greg stephens What is the explanation of your slightly curious name Mr Dover? |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:50 AM (#1140765) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover My name is also my hobby. |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:52 AM (#1140768) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted I rest my case your Worship! |
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19 Mar 04 - 08:42 AM (#1140845) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Rapparee Forget same species marriage, how about marrying within the same...well, I've know folks who married snakes and vegetables. |
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19 Mar 04 - 08:45 AM (#1140848) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover My point exactly Rap old boy! If two blokes can mince up the ailse together, why can't a man and a hamster? Or a man and a pound of cheese? Or a pound of cheese with another pound of cheese? |
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19 Mar 04 - 08:50 AM (#1140852) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted You silly billy! How would two lumps of cheese exchage their vows when cheese can't speak!( I think anyway) |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:22 AM (#1140874) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted just spotted something on a very very long thread about dating- matai (a tree) and corridus ( a hamster) are both lonely!! I proposed we pair them up and marry them off at a mudcat event.There, the world's fist inter - species marriage. |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:35 AM (#1140883) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Molly the Sheep Hell yes! Interspecies marriages! It's about time! Look, you |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:48 AM (#1140895) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover Nowt new there Molly. the scots and welsh have been interbreeding with sheep for decades! But in true mudcat tradition, I defend your right to say what you like whether I agree with you or not blah blah blah.............And you certainly should be entitled to half the farm. |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:52 AM (#1140899) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: John P OK, Ben Dover. I'll bite. What's your hobby? |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:54 AM (#1140903) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST el ted - sign language. Most cheese use ISDS (International Standard Dairy Sign) |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:58 AM (#1140908) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover Why thank you john P. altogether now - MY NAME IS MY HOBBY. |
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19 Mar 04 - 10:26 AM (#1140939) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted Thanks GUEST. How dumb of me. Can gay cheeses marry each other in an English church? yuk! |
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19 Mar 04 - 10:28 AM (#1140940) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST their union may be blessed I believe - but there is nit-piocking about calling the ceremony "marriage" |
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19 Mar 04 - 10:30 AM (#1140942) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted What a bloody insult!! why can't gays marry in our churches............ oh.I'll get my coat. |
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19 Mar 04 - 10:41 AM (#1140954) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Bill D In Canada, it's already in the works |
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19 Mar 04 - 10:46 AM (#1140957) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover Trust the Canadians to be one step ahead of the Yanks.No wonder you can't raise up a decent army nowadays, Where would you get the uniforms from for multi species divisions? |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:13 AM (#1140978) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Rapparee You never heard of camouflage? |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:26 AM (#1140983) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST Did you mean camenbert? |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:34 AM (#1140989) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Roquerfort Why do you inquire about my mate? |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:40 AM (#1140995) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace There is NO SUCH THING as virgin wool in Canada. |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:59 AM (#1141013) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover A multi species army camouflaged with cheese you say? That sounds awfully French. |
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19 Mar 04 - 12:04 PM (#1141018) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Phil McCracken Ben, we have got to get together one of these days. |
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19 Mar 04 - 12:06 PM (#1141020) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Corridus I OBJECT TO THE THEME OF THIS THREAD!!! It's offensive to hamsters! I demand that it be closed! |
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19 Mar 04 - 12:07 PM (#1141022) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Corridus And jOhn from Hull is an incontinent pervert! |
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19 Mar 04 - 12:08 PM (#1141023) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,R.Sole Ben, phil, lets have a mini mudcat meet, nobody with silly names can come to it though. |
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19 Mar 04 - 12:10 PM (#1141025) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover Corridus you are getting carried away! Do you have the hots for Brenda? Has she spurned your affectiond in the past? Do tell. |
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19 Mar 04 - 02:02 PM (#1141094) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Gareth This is appalling ! Why my entire future may be threatened if a woolyback could mention marrage ! Gareth |
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19 Mar 04 - 02:03 PM (#1141095) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,MMario All she wants is security for her precious little lambs. |
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19 Mar 04 - 02:16 PM (#1141107) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Rapparee Mary had a little lamb... I've always wondered about that. |
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19 Mar 04 - 02:41 PM (#1141127) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST 'course once they'be been had their self esteem plummets. |
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19 Mar 04 - 03:20 PM (#1141158) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Ewe, ewe, ewe, I'm in love with ewe, ewe, ewe . . . . |
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19 Mar 04 - 04:26 PM (#1141206) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Nemesis Ben Dover .. I get it: you're a gardener, right? Forking and plucking in beds ...? How is your back after a hard day at it? :) |
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19 Mar 04 - 04:42 PM (#1141219) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Rama LLama I wish you humans could marry us, too. I have met a very dear lovely man, you may know. His name is Kendall Morse. He is so lovely and gentle and caring and great in the barn to boot. I wish he could marry me. I do not want our children to be born out of wedlock. Unfortunately with the draconian racist laws humanity has created against the holy unions of our two races, they will be. I am happy all the same that I am lucky to be bearing his lovely children. I love you, Kendall. |
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19 Mar 04 - 05:09 PM (#1141236) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: akenaton I am very touched by the tone of R Llamas' post. She is obviously the victim of a hard and uncaring society. It is an absolute disgrace that she should be subjected to this extreme mental cruelty,and her family forced to suffer this stigma,(perhaps the father could change his name by deed poll. Would this help? Where are the Amoses and Kat laughings when they are really needed to give support. Fair weather friends indeed...Ake |
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19 Mar 04 - 06:31 PM (#1141289) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Amergin It does break my heart that two such lovers cannot be united in wedded bliss...I wish all the luck in the world to Kendall and Ms. Llama.... |
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19 Mar 04 - 08:42 PM (#1141378) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Disgusting. You people are making light of Kendall's beastiality. What the hell is with all this sympathy for Kendall. He knocks the poor dear up, leaves her with child, and you are worried about how HE feels. What about HER! He stole her from the warm embrace of another 'catter. Jaysus, get yer priorities in order here. |
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19 Mar 04 - 08:56 PM (#1141383) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Hey, Kendall was in a helicopter with a giraffe. See the "Can Horses Swim thread. What is it with this guy? And you're feeling sympathy for him? |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:22 PM (#1141391) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Shanghaiceltic We have a guinea pig who has been twice widowed. Both the men in her life popped their little clogs one after the other and without getting her pregnant, which is pretty amazing for a guninea pig. She has tried the 'lonely carrots columns' as well as the interhutch chat pages with no avail. Anyone want a nice black brown and white bride with lovely button eyes? |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:28 PM (#1141395) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Kendall, it's for you. |
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19 Mar 04 - 09:38 PM (#1141404) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Amergin Hey watch it, Brucie...R. Llama may get really jealous.... |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:25 PM (#1141446) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: LadyJean I'm stressed, and I haven't had much sleep. All I can think of is a guinea pig marrying a cheese. |
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19 Mar 04 - 11:43 PM (#1141451) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Bee-dubya-ell Come to think of it, my friend Kristi's hamster has a house that's far more elaborate than my own house. All kindsa fun tubes to climb up into and slide down and other cool stuff. Maybe I'll get a divorce and marry the hamster! Then, when the hamster kicks the bucket in a couple of years the house will be all mine! Of course, there's the little problem of how do you get a 6'3" 200# guy into a two cubic foot hamster house but, hey, who ever said the path of true love was gonna be easy? Bruce |
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20 Mar 04 - 02:46 AM (#1141493) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Shanghaiceltic Sorry bit of thread drift here. When I was in submarines we never had problems with roaches. Only with fruit flies which managed to breed in huge numbers due to the humid warm conditions and availability of food. We were not allowed to use insect sprays as they would have an adverse affect on the boats atmosphere. Our Med Tech came up with the idea of placing glasses of sweet sherry aound the for'd part of the boat, the idea being that the fruit flies would be attracted to the glasses, drink, fall in and drown. It was reasonably succesfull. Our captain was surprised to get a request from a rating on official paperwork to be re-rated as a fruit fly. The ratings justification were: 1. Run of the boat 2. No watches 3. Choice of thousands of females even at sea 4. Help yourself to as much food as you could eat 5. Free booze 6. An unlicenced allowance to drink yourself to death The captain turned this down on the grounds that a submariner could not receive flying pay as well as submarine allowance and additionaly that though the rating was known to having a rather over active '5th' limb when ashore he had no chance of growing a 6th limb (or even wings)and submarines could not carry 'disabled' ratings. Said rating returned to the sonar shack muttering about the inequality of life in boats. |
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20 Mar 04 - 09:56 AM (#1141666) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Archie Dux Hey, you are a truly miserable and specist lot, you are. You talk of happiness with llamas, with hamsters, perhaps with condors and chickens, with tigers and cats and dogs. You talk of marriage as well as less permanent arrangements. And yet... And yet... You give NO consideration to those who continue to live in the cradle of all life. Yeah, I'm talking about us non-mammalian sea dwellers. Oh, sure, you might have a fling with one of those so-called "marine mammals," a polar bear or a whale or a dolphin. Years back your lonesome sailors might even have mated with a manatee or screwed a seal. But what about the cod or the herring, which you have so long longed for? Just because ling cod isn't up to your air-loving standard of so-called beauty, you distain this wonderful companion and, let's say it, lusty partner. And the deeper you look into it the kinkier it all becomes. Try a little octopod action sometime for something you'll never forget, stud. No, maybe it's better that you bipeds have such a pulmonaricentric view of things. You just stick with your limited experiences with K-Y jelly, six or seven partners, various foods and other quirks. You don't do well under pressure anyway. |
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20 Mar 04 - 10:10 AM (#1141670) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Gareth Getting back to a Music theme - does anybody, other than Gargoyle, remember that bawdy "Rugby" ballad "Bestialitys best boys" Gareth |
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20 Mar 04 - 05:12 PM (#1141914) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Rama Llama Brucie, yes Kendall is a cheater. He has bruised my heart dearly with his dalliances with women of other species. He has hurt me by by going to the zoo to see other women (after getting me pregnant), but I still love him. He is my soul mate. Kendall, please come home to me. I miss you. I forgive you, Kendall. |
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20 Mar 04 - 05:24 PM (#1141926) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Amergin Wow...heady stuff here...where's Spaw in all of this? |
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20 Mar 04 - 05:33 PM (#1141931) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Spaw had the llama stolen out from under him (maybe both figuratively and literally for all I know) and his heart is broken. Poor fellow probably can't even fart. |
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20 Mar 04 - 05:37 PM (#1141935) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Little Hawk I have found this thread tremendously moving! In fact, I have experienced an epiphany, and am going to give up the inflatable dolls. Goodbye, inflatable Rosie O'Donnell. Goodbye, inflatable Maggie Thatcher. Goodbye even to you, Hillary. I am moving on. |
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20 Mar 04 - 09:13 PM (#1142035) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Bill D well! If only one could be rid of RT 'airheads' that easily! |
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20 Mar 04 - 10:32 PM (#1142050) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace LH, glad about you enjoyed the Dylan concert. While we're talkin' about Dylan, if you wouldn't mind cleaning up the Hillary doll, there may be someone in Alberta who hasn't yet had his epiphany--not sayin' it's me--and the poor old fellow might find a use for it. Talk philosophy, do things around the house, stuff like that. Let me know. |
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20 Mar 04 - 11:00 PM (#1142064) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: LadyJean I believe one can buy anatomically correct inflatable sheep. I have not purchased one. But I've heard about them. |
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20 Mar 04 - 11:19 PM (#1142079) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Strick Dang. We were worried about keeping it in the same species. Since I assume the inflatable sheep is rubber or silicone (for an additional charge, of course), it would seem we're not even keeping it in the same animal, vegetable, or mineral category. Then again, I've heard rumors about variations on that, too. |
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21 Mar 04 - 02:54 AM (#1142129) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Shiela the sheep When we do get our equality with you humans we dont want any more of the welly boots and (sheep)doggie style stuff, baaaa baaaa. We have feelings too; we want the missionary baasition so we can get the kissing and tounges bit. |
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21 Mar 04 - 05:28 AM (#1142167) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: akenaton Due to the uncompromising stance taken by Amos and Kat in another thread pertaining to marital rights,I find it incomprehensible that they have not rushed to the aid of the unfortunate Ms Llama and her lover. I feel bigotry would not be too strong a word to use in this context, and I would like to see their erratic behaviour roundly condemed on Mudcat. PS...Perhaps a new lapel ribbon ,in the form of two crossed Llama legs might heighten awareness......Ake |
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21 Mar 04 - 10:22 AM (#1142266) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Loooooooooooooooooooong John Sliver Argh! Shiver me timber leg! Here ye lubbers are, goin' on about llamers an' sheep an' pigs an' paramecium fer all I knows, and not one of ye has a good word ta say about us ghosties! Do ye take us fer unfeeling, cold, spirits jes' because we've shuffled off the mortal coil, as the poet says? Says I, if ye can't support a relationship with us that is gone, then we can't support you, ye great lump of mortality! If ye truly cared, ye'd get rid of them dolls and things and concentrate on them as counts! Why, we even votes in places like Chicago! Ectoplasmic marriage, that's what I says! |
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21 Mar 04 - 06:31 PM (#1142495) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Uh, about that ghost thing: I'd have to get into the spirit for it to be meaningful. |
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21 Mar 04 - 06:46 PM (#1142505) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace At risk of getting half the world pissed off at me, I don't recall anyone raising the following point. If we agree to same-species marriage. we will all have to become homosexual. Women and men are NOT the same species. Female colours: Too numerous to list and mostly meaningless from my perspective. Male colours: White, black, brown, red, orange, yellow, green, blue, purple. These basic all-encompassing colours are qualified with words like light, dark, sorta and ish. Female romantic evening: Dress beautifully, brush hair, wear jewels, quiet candle-lit dinner, hold hands, few glasses of wine, flowers. Male romantic evening: Show up naked and bring a case of beer. Female clothes washing: Separate colours from whites, bleach one and not the other, adjust water temperatures depending on clothes being washed. Use fluff cycle and cool-down spin. Male clothes washing: Put stuff in the washing machine, add soap and go to tavern or pub for a few hours. Check machine within a week. If stuff is mildewed, repeat. Anyway, don't send me nasty messages because of this. Little Hawk dared me to do it, and I did. LLWS! |
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22 Mar 04 - 03:41 AM (#1142671) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover I don't think you lot are this matter very seriously are you? Equal rights for vegetables here we come! |
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22 Mar 04 - 04:25 AM (#1142688) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Sttaw Legend Have you noticed on the reverse of credit cards there is a number to call if lost. |
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22 Mar 04 - 06:04 AM (#1142755) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted I know a rather cute donkey called estrella who lives in Sevilla, thanks to you lot I think I now have enough courage to propose to her. |
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22 Mar 04 - 06:05 AM (#1142756) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted that was post no69 as well, oo er missus! |
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22 Mar 04 - 06:27 AM (#1142770) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Sttaw Legend morning Frank |
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22 Mar 04 - 09:33 AM (#1142887) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Pansy Potato Well, lettuce commence! I simply cannot _begin_ to tell you about the various affairs of the heart we of the Vegetable World have had with you Mobile Meat! And I don't mean the "I love french fries!" sort (and how very shocking, to rip up my kith and kin, flay them, cut them into shreds, boil them in oil, and them eat them)! I'm talking about lust, L-U-S-T, lust. I'm talking about sexual acts that don't bear talking about, that polite society and good taste (and we vegetables CERTAINLY have good taste!) demand that we discuss only in the privacy of our beds. Yes, I talking about...about...I can't really bring myself to...well, every Spring, when the sap rises and the stamens become, well, filled with stamina and the pistils are ready to shoot and the oogoniums are...oh, pardon my blushing, but I'm simply used to talking like this...are ready to receive and the monocots and dicots are, well, you know, hot to trot (if they COULD trot, which of course they can't, which makes them so, so very "available" [if you take my meaning] for your meatish passions), why, you Mobile Meat go to great lengths to impose your concept of birth control on us! Yes! You detassel the corn, you graft the trees, you even deflower many of us! All for your warped, kinky, sick-o, perverted appetites! Then there are the uses to which you have put Wilma Watermelon, Zelda Zucchini, Mary Marrow, Claudia Carrot, Masha Muskmelon and so very many others of my immediate circle of friends. And let me tell you, they didn't like it one bit! I think of poor Betty Banana, who had a certain a peel to you, who slipped just once with one of you and now has, in her shame, fallen in with a bad bunch! Remember, it's YOUR fault that we become rotten! Torn from our homes and beds, rendered impotent and sterile, our genes changed, graft rampant, flayed, sliced into pieces, boiled in water, boiled in oil, eaten alive even as newly-sprung shoots -- Demeter! Don't you people carrot all???? |
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22 Mar 04 - 09:37 AM (#1142890) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Ben Dover Thank you Pansy. AT last, a sensible post about this most sensitive of subjects. You have tempted me to vote Green at the next election. Aren't french fries known as freedom fries nowadays though? |
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22 Mar 04 - 09:50 AM (#1142903) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Pansy Potato "French fries," good Mr. Dover, as known as "Potatoes." Hmph! As for voting Green -- I suggest that you try living green. Try living as we do, just for one light cycle! Make yourself a nice, deep bed in the warm, loving soil so graciously provided by Our Mother, and cover yourself with it -- line it first, if you wish, with some nicely aged manure -- and cover yourself completely with it. Be one with us, for just one light cycle! One light cycle out of many, and you will join us in the Vegetative World -- I, Pansy Potato, promise you! |
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22 Mar 04 - 03:55 PM (#1143209) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace You people are disgusting. But for supreme ecstasy, a melon at room temperature. |
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22 Mar 04 - 04:58 PM (#1143246) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: TheBigPinkLad How do you think Jasper Carrot came by his name? |
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22 Mar 04 - 07:50 PM (#1143400) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Vegan diets will never be the same after this thread. |
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22 Mar 04 - 08:26 PM (#1143430) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Amergin Kind of makes one wonder what Mick does with those potatoes doesn't it? BG (just funnin' ya, my friend) |
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22 Mar 04 - 08:49 PM (#1143437) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace No you weren't! Hey, Mick, what DO you do with those potatoes? |
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23 Mar 04 - 05:16 AM (#1143616) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: el ted potatoes have feelings too you know. But they look crap in stockings. |
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23 Mar 04 - 09:02 AM (#1143759) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST, Penni Pasta You sons-of-bitches think you're so gawdamned cute, talking about all the vegetables and meat you've hit on and made it with! Well lemme tell ya, friend, that until you're ready to do right by the rigatoni or marry the manicotta, you're jest a gawdamned lecher of the first water! Lemme tell ya, we know what you perverts do when you lick the linguini or suck the spaghetti, and we're gawdamned fed up with it! What you do is against the laws of all nations and good hygiene, so bucko, we're gonna see you in court, got it? |
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23 Mar 04 - 09:27 AM (#1143785) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Dave Bryant Archie Dux - I believe that Oaklet has quite a close relationship with his Whelks. And I can think of at least one mudcat female who enjoys likes the odd Winkle. |
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23 Mar 04 - 02:43 PM (#1144090) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,lobotomized lobster As for ectoplasmic erotica, haven't you heard about the ghost and Mrs. Muir? And there was a famous actor (at least on the Simpsons). You may have heard of his predilection for sex on the half shell... BUT... I draw the line at off - earth pants off! No more Spocks! Leave that extraterrestrial alone. I say that TWO strands to DNA is enough! Never unite where gravity isn't ONE. ET if you can call, you can't come! oh....i feel so much better |
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23 Mar 04 - 04:43 PM (#1144211) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Suck back one spaghetti strand and it's all over town. I suppose the story leaked from the lasagna, huh? Or the ziti? Big mouths. |
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23 Mar 04 - 05:03 PM (#1144223) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Strick "haven't you heard about the ghost and Mrs. Muir?" Gene Tierney, yum. Wait, I guess that makes me odd man out in this thread. Oh, wait, I'm OK. She's dead. |
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23 Mar 04 - 05:43 PM (#1144245) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Little Hawk We really need Penelope Rutledge to lay down the law on this whole sordid subject and close this discussion. She seems to have given up on Mudcat since the last Twillingsgate fiasco. - LH |
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23 Mar 04 - 05:52 PM (#1144259) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: freda underhill hey, lobotomised lobster.. be careful... hence a tail of warning... The Tale of Barbie Ellen.. In scarlet shell, with pincers swell, was such a lobster dwelling Made every fisherman drool and sigh Her name was Barbie Ellen Sweet William on the sea shore walked He saw her slender talons Blushed rosy pink with Barbie shoes White flesh like tiny melons Young William called out Barbie love I think my heart you're breakin' Your gingham top, your beady eyes Have sent my thighs a achin' But slowly slowly she crawled off And waggled her tail right at 'im She slid into the frothy sea That hard hearted pink crustacean 'Twas in the merry month of May When green seas were a swellin' Sweet William on his death-bed lay For the love of Barbie Ellen. He sent his servant to the shore, To the rocks where she was a-dwellin', Cried, "Master bids you come to him, If your name be Barbie Ellen." Then slowly, slowly she crawled back, And slowly went she did eye him, And when she pulled the curtains back Said, "Young man, I think you're lyin'. "Oh, yes, I'm sick, I'm very very sick, I'm craving soft crustaceans, my mouth is watering at the sight Of the fleshy Barbie Ellen." "Oh, Ken, where are you, Ken my love Where are you when I need you? Sick William wants to fondle me He's of a different breed dear." And Ken he came in his hiking boots Beside young William lyin', He said William, leave my Barbie love For she's mine for this evenin's fryin' And Barbie's heart did snap in two That both men would deceive her While both men tried to flatter her Her heart was like a cleaver Then lightly crawled she down the stairs, While Ken was in the kitchen 'Tis neither of you who'll get me now, if my name be Barbie Ellen. She wandered to the wide green seas with never a glance behind her And plunged into the ocean deep Where nary a man could find her and sometimes by the soft moon's light when fisherman are a sleepin' she sits upon the lonely rocks a wailin' and a weepin' will nea man love me for myself they only want to eat me I'll ne'er surrender to their tongues They'll never yet defeat me From William's grave hung a fisherman's line, And from Ken's a copper griddle, While Barbie Ellen e'er does dwell Where nae man dares to meddle.. freda |
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23 Mar 04 - 06:03 PM (#1144276) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Sttaw Legend Meat and two veg joined in matrimony, hope their are no leeks. |
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24 Mar 04 - 03:54 PM (#1145123) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: robomatic freda: ROFL over and over - Also refer to: "Misalliance" by Flanders and Swann: It's inter-species but no man involved: The Fragrant Honeysuckle spirals clockwise to the sun And many other creepers do the same But some climb anticlockwis, the Vineweed does for one Or Convolvulus to use her proper name.... I'm adamant that no human should get funky with no martian |
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24 Mar 04 - 04:28 PM (#1145150) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Chief Chaos Look up "Martian Boogie" by Buffalo Springfield. They thought that those martian cigarettes were good, they didn't realize they were aphrodesiacs. Where do you think GWB came from? Michael Jackson too! |
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24 Mar 04 - 05:58 PM (#1145237) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Peace Great, freda. Loved it. |
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24 Mar 04 - 06:45 PM (#1145270) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,Mendenhall Hey, just because we glaciers are cold doesn't mean we're frigid! |
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24 Mar 04 - 07:57 PM (#1145322) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,barbie lobster i'm looking for a lobster that loves cats! |
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24 Mar 04 - 07:59 PM (#1145324) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: kendall Around the bend, the lot of you! The Mudcat is much funnier than anything on TV these days. I've been collecting love songs to animals: "Something in the way she moos" "This lamb is your lamb" "There'll never be another ewe" |
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24 Mar 04 - 08:07 PM (#1145330) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: kendall Freda, that was excellent! |
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24 Mar 04 - 09:16 PM (#1145391) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,freda underhill ..be careful, you'll only encourage me..and hence, The Barbecue is over (with apols to Tom Pringfield and the Seekers) Say goodbye, my own true rooster as we sing our lover's song. How it breaks my heart to eat you, now the barbecue is on. High above, the cock is crowing and my teats are falling rain, for the Easter show is over we may never meet again. Like a drum, my heart was beating, and your peck was sweet as wine. But the joys of love are fleeting for a chook and concubine. Now the kitchen knife is calling. This will be our last canoodle. When the barbecue is sizzlin', I will eat you with some noodles. Like a drum, my heart was beating, and your peck was sweet as wine. But the joys of love are eating deep fried chook and cooking wine. Now the backyard light is calling. This will be our last goodbye. Though the barbecue is over, I will eat you with some fries... When the barbecue is over, I'll digest you, bye and bye... no chooks were hurt in the decomposing of this song.. f.u. |
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24 Mar 04 - 09:32 PM (#1145404) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Rapparee Best part of the 'Cat is that it exists, and that there is NO laughtrack. |
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24 Mar 04 - 09:34 PM (#1145406) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Strick "i'm looking for a lobster that loves cats!" I thought you'd be looking for an owl. Or is that stereotyping? |
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24 Mar 04 - 09:38 PM (#1145408) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,freda speakmymind Strick, we are about freedom for interspecies marriage, but don't lay no stereotypicals trips on me man - my typing's bad enough with one hand, let alone 2!! freda lieunderthetable |
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24 Mar 04 - 10:19 PM (#1145428) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: Little Hawk Wow, freda! Yours is a rare and wonderful talent. |
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24 Mar 04 - 10:24 PM (#1145429) Subject: RE: BS: about same species marriage From: GUEST,freda thank you LH, yes, my talons ARE red and wonderful, I hope I get to shake hands with your claws some day.... |