BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?

13 Apr 04 - 11:41 AM (#1160874)
Subject: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

I'll tell you why...because they're bigoted and insensitive and narrow-minded, and all wrapped up in themselves and their own orthodoxy, that's why! They have no idea how much weiner dogs have contributed to human culture, and they furthermore don't realize that without weiner dogs the practice of baptism would be limited only to individuals over 4 feet tall. I think it's high time that Baptists gave weiner dogs the respect and recognition they deserve!

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13 Apr 04 - 11:43 AM (#1160876)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Waht you on about?

i don't understand this thread, have you gone mad or something?

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13 Apr 04 - 11:43 AM (#1160877)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Amos

Baptists? Maybe their objection (I really don't know what you are on about, LH) is that the weiner dogs haven't been baptized? What is this about?


A

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13 Apr 04 - 11:44 AM (#1160880)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST

who has the dried frog pills?

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13 Apr 04 - 11:44 AM (#1160883)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: CarolC

Define "honor", LH.

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13 Apr 04 - 11:45 AM (#1160885)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

LH, I do try to follow your wild flights, but this one has me stumped too. Maybe a ferret got loose amongst your weiner dog?..xx.e

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13 Apr 04 - 11:52 AM (#1160892)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Heh! Heh! There is method to my madness. Well, Carol, by "honor" I mean that Baptists just don't give the kind of recognition to weiner dogs that they so richly deserve, that's all. This is a serious matter. My dog, Valdy, is so upset about it that he's been staring off into space for 3 hours now. I think he's in a deep depression over it. Weiner dog owners and advocates need to do something about it. Maybe launch a legal action.

Ellenpoly, what does this xx.e mean that you sign off with?

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13 Apr 04 - 11:54 AM (#1160898)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bee-dubya-ell

Little Hawk, you silly goose! Baptists don't honor weiner dogs for the same reason that Presbyterians don't glorify Pomeranians! Jeeze! I thought everybody knew that!

Secret message above

Bruce

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13 Apr 04 - 12:02 PM (#1160905)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

The message from Bruce can only be read by weiner dogs.

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13 Apr 04 - 12:03 PM (#1160907)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Oh, I see...clever, clever.

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13 Apr 04 - 12:05 PM (#1160912)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bill D

Valdy is living in the wrong place...down here everyone honors 'em....and it is assumed that Heaven will be populated with 'em! Baptists will have no choice.

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13 Apr 04 - 12:11 PM (#1160920)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Ha! Ha! Ha! Omigod. I love that site, Bill! Wonderful!

I've seen the song before too. Cute.

- LH

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13 Apr 04 - 12:19 PM (#1160933)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

We need Martin here. He says the best dog is in Chicago.

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13 Apr 04 - 12:20 PM (#1160935)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

But, if the dogs grew as fast as this thread, why, they'd be St Bernards or twelve miles long.

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13 Apr 04 - 12:32 PM (#1160950)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Actually, if it were not for Martin, I would not have started this thread. And he's right. The best dog is in Chicago.

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13 Apr 04 - 03:07 PM (#1161038)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Strick

"who has the dried frog pills?"

I think the Librarian had them last. He took them from the Archchancellor, the last time, well, you know.

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13 Apr 04 - 03:40 PM (#1161073)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST,pdc

And for oddest threads I've ever read, the weiner is....LH!

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13 Apr 04 - 03:40 PM (#1161074)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

Little Hawk,

Do not open old wounds. You are a Canadian, albeit from Ontario. Think steamies here. Weiner dogs like steamies.

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13 Apr 04 - 03:45 PM (#1161084)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Rapparee

Truth is universal and knows no national or political boundaries!

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13 Apr 04 - 03:56 PM (#1161091)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

I am obviously in a majority of one here.

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13 Apr 04 - 03:57 PM (#1161093)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Strick

One what? (Ooooh, you're really leaving yourself open here, Brucie.)

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13 Apr 04 - 04:09 PM (#1161102)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

I haven't had a Montreal steamie, so I really can't say for sure. I just said Chicago has the best dogs because Chongo would raise hell if I didn't. He's very patriotic to Chicago and I have to live with him.

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13 Apr 04 - 04:16 PM (#1161114)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Art Thieme

It's very simple.

Answer is: Becuse someone might think they are dancing !!

Art Thieme

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13 Apr 04 - 04:48 PM (#1161150)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: artbrooks

Now, I have friends that are Baptists...some of them even admit it! This is a gross calumny. Many Baptists honor weiner dogs, especially on a sourdough bun with hot mustard and slaw. On the other hand, why don't Lutherans give proper respect to that other German product, the dachshund (otherwise known as the weiner dog)?

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13 Apr 04 - 04:57 PM (#1161157)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

It's the dachshund we are talking about here! I have two of them, Valdy and Rennie, and they are very upset about both Lutherans and Baptists. I will try to get a link to a jpg ASAP.

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13 Apr 04 - 05:24 PM (#1161172)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Megan L

Strick no wonder you cant find the pills ponder stibbons gave them to rincewind for the luggage

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13 Apr 04 - 05:27 PM (#1161174)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Strick

Well, if the luggage has them, it can keep them. Have you seen those teeth?

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13 Apr 04 - 05:30 PM (#1161177)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bee-dubya-ell

I must apologize. My white-on-white post above said,"Baptists don't honor weiner dogs for the same reason that Presbyterians don't glorify Pomeranians!"

It should have said, "Baptists don't honor weiner dogs for the same reason that Presbyterians don't pray to Pomeranians!"

To further complicate matters, Baptists don't honor weiner dogs for the same reason that:

Anglicans don't annoint Airedales

Buddhists don't beatify Beagles

Catholics don't canonize Collies

Episcopalians don't elevate Elkhounds

Hindus don't humble themselves before Harriers

Lutherans don't lionize Labradors

Methodists don't memorialize Mastiffs

Pentecostals don't put Pugs on pedestals

Taoists don't dote on Dalmations

Unitarians don't have dogs because there are no recognized breeds beginning with "U" unless you consider "ugly damned dog" to be a breed.

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13 Apr 04 - 05:35 PM (#1161183)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Yes, and it's gross species discrimination.

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13 Apr 04 - 05:42 PM (#1161189)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Megan L

aw its not so bad now it got babies :-) civilises most men

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13 Apr 04 - 05:48 PM (#1161196)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

Unitarians have Unicorns. Sorry for the thread drift.

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13 Apr 04 - 05:55 PM (#1161201)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bill D

in Gundagai, NSW, Australia, they have a pooch on a plinth in a pond. (The one who guarded the tuckerbox) Those Aussies know how to honor a deserving dog!

(well, the dog didn't REALLY 'guard' the tuckerbox, but we don't make statues about the truth of the story)

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13 Apr 04 - 05:59 PM (#1161204)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: John MacKenzie

Been there, got the photo. I prefer The Dog Shat in my Tucker Box to the cleaner version.
John

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13 Apr 04 - 06:01 PM (#1161206)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bill D

ooooh...a better picture

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13 Apr 04 - 06:04 PM (#1161208)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: John MacKenzie


Could this be the answer?

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13 Apr 04 - 06:09 PM (#1161212)
Subject: Confessed Proselytizer
From: wysiwyg

I will happily proselytize for Chicago dogs anytime.

See, "you" were right, I AM a proselytizerr, are you happy now that you have it in writing?

~Susan

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13 Apr 04 - 06:12 PM (#1161214)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Strick

You know, John, I've never seen a "Texas" weiner in Texas. We use the large ones.

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13 Apr 04 - 06:18 PM (#1161218)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: John MacKenzie

Have you seen that black hairy thing GWB has under his arm, is that a Texas dog?
John

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13 Apr 04 - 06:20 PM (#1161219)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Strick

Nope, it's from Connecticut like he is. He hasn't lived here long enough to be a real Texan.

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13 Apr 04 - 07:18 PM (#1161264)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: SINSULL

Kendall's dog, Seamus, attempted to "honor" a long haired dachsund but Kendall interfered and strained his back for the effort. Does that make Kendall a Baptist? I don't think that he can still be my friend if he is a Baptist...

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13 Apr 04 - 07:32 PM (#1161276)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Shanghaiceltic

Do dogs really want to go to Heaven anyway? I'd heard that they cannot sniff bottoms there ;-)

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13 Apr 04 - 08:24 PM (#1161313)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Depends on which heaven.

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13 Apr 04 - 09:59 PM (#1161365)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

No man is a hero to his valet.

(I know, I know: No man is an island . . . .)

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13 Apr 04 - 10:46 PM (#1161385)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: jimmyt

Good one, Little hawk. DO me a favor and gently put the empty bottle of Reisling down beside that half bag of cheetos and have a rest. It will all be better tomorrow, eh?    grin

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14 Apr 04 - 12:57 PM (#1161554)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Little Hawk, the xx at the end of my posts can mean a couple of things...I've been ending my letters this way for decades. I think it started as the traditional "kisses" when I was young, but then when I got married to a Greek, he asked me why I always signed off with "hee hee" which is how "x" is pronounced in Greek. I kinda like that explanation...but since we can only tell the truth on such a deep and meaningful thread as this one-











It..is..just..a..habit..xx..e

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14 Apr 04 - 01:08 PM (#1161564)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST

Now if Spaw was looking at this site, he might have said that what GWB had under his arm was Condi Rice [Nope; still sounds like a side dish!], but as he isn't in sight I'll say it for him.
Where is he when we need him?
John

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14 Apr 04 - 01:14 PM (#1161567)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: John MacKenzie

Sheesh, I downloaded Netscape, and I can't log-in to all sorts of things, and it's logged me out of others, GODDAM!
The previous guest was moi. Agape mou
John

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14 Apr 04 - 02:05 PM (#1161603)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: steve in ottawa

Aside: MyIE2 is a shell for MSIE. Works great. Better 'n Mozilla or Netscape.

Dipped Baptists don't honour WD's in public. Only in SECRET.

Question: Dear Steve, My dog, (name withheld to protect his innocence), is so upset about it that he's been staring off into space for 3 hours now...
Dear LH: Fret not! Your dog is merely preparing himself for the (formerly secret) Baptist WDHC (WeinerDongHonouringCeremony), an event which requires great...patience.

Profound: In Heaven, dogs don't have to get close to smell you.

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14 Apr 04 - 03:04 PM (#1161652)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

"Unitarians don't have dogs because there are no recognized breeds beginning with "U" unless you consider "ugly damned dog" to be a breed." Took me hours and hours.

WHAT ABOUT UNDERDOGS?

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14 Apr 04 - 03:17 PM (#1161666)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Well done, Bruce.

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14 Apr 04 - 06:57 PM (#1161828)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Shanghaiceltic

Why do priests where dog collars, some sort of Fruedian slip?

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14 Apr 04 - 06:58 PM (#1161829)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Shanghaiceltic

Sorry i meant wear ;-(

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14 Apr 04 - 07:15 PM (#1161840)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: McGrath of Harlow

Dachshund means "badger dog" I understand. I don't get that - what chance would a poor bloody sausage dog stand, up against a Badger? Those lads could probably bite its head clean off.

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14 Apr 04 - 08:28 PM (#1161896)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bee-dubya-ell

What chance would a poor bloody sausage dog stand, up against a Badger?

That's assuming that dachsunds as originally bred had the same personalities as they do now. They've been selectively bred for the characteristics that make them good pets instead of good hunters for many generations now. Imagine a dachsund with the personality of a Doberman Pinscher and you're probably coming closer to what the breed was like hundreds of years ago.

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14 Apr 04 - 11:48 PM (#1162080)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Not at all, McGrath! The dachshund as originally bred (as a hunting dog) was specifically bred to go down a badger's hole, sieze the badger in its very strong jaws, and haul it out by sheer strength and determination...and they did! They were tremendously courageous and determined hunting dogs.

Some are still like that. We had one that was. He was just unstoppable, and never stopped thinking about hunting whatever he could stalk or catch. And my mother's family had one like that about 60 years ago. He was utterly fearless, by all accounts.

They're all natural rodent killers...seem to specialize in that, but ours also managed to kill cats, rabbits, and a muskrat. He had a go at a porcupine too, but fortunately quit before absorbing more than just a few quills. He was really angry, but had enough sense to back off after the first encounter (with a tail swipe, I think). He did not attack skunks, although he certainly had opportunities to. He wasn't the least bit stupid, but he sure could be reckless when his blood was up. Cats that didn't run were dead in a second or two. (except for our own cat...they had a truce worked out)

Most present-day dachshunds, however, have been selectively bred to be pets, as Bee-Dub points out. The one thing that doesn't seem to have changed is their stubbornness. They are exceedingly stubborn little guys when their mind is made up. I never met one that could think about more than one thing at any given time...and they FOCUS right in on the objective.

- LH

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15 Apr 04 - 10:48 AM (#1162377)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Which is why Baptists should give them the respect they are due!

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15 Apr 04 - 01:15 PM (#1162523)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: black walnut

Weird, LH, weird.

I was raised Baptist, and my Baptist parents bought us the most adorable weiner dog, Herman.

I wrote a song about his victory at a dog-food eating contest: The Ballad of Herman the Dog.

Chorus: Sing the story proud and true / Here, boy, here! / I'm a dog from the County of Waterloo / And I come with a waggling tail-o

~b.w.

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15 Apr 04 - 04:38 PM (#1162666)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Well, that's a step in the right direction... :-)

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15 Apr 04 - 06:32 PM (#1162742)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: 42

Canadian Baptists honour weiner dogs. I've seen it!

j

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15 Apr 04 - 07:31 PM (#1162785)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bill D

but do Canadian weiner dogs honor Baptists? This 'might' be a more practical question.

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15 Apr 04 - 07:40 PM (#1162794)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

Weiner dogs don't get no respect.

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16 Apr 04 - 12:52 AM (#1162853)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: LadyJean

I have a friend who is a good Southern Baptist. He would love that song about dachshunds with erections. He wouldn't let his daughter see it, though she sees Disney films, and reads Harry Potter books. But he'd love it.



Did you hear about the Weiner Dog that mated with a St. Bernard?




Some of his friends put him up to it.

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16 Apr 04 - 01:02 AM (#1162858)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: SueB

Refering back to previous thread drift,

Why aren't dogs allowed in the White House?

'Cause they pee on all the Bushes....

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16 Apr 04 - 01:10 AM (#1162866)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Seamus Kennedy

Our dachshund has brass testicles. We call him Sparky.

Seamus not Kendall's dog

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16 Apr 04 - 04:50 AM (#1162955)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: John MacKenzie

Old jokes huh!
What's the difference between a street trader, and a dachshund?
One bawls out his wares on the street.
While the other wears out his *****

John

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16 Apr 04 - 06:09 AM (#1162999)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Mmmm Chicago Weiner Dogs! Yum!..xx..e

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16 Apr 04 - 07:14 AM (#1163032)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Jerry Rasmussen

Did Freud really wear a slip?

Jerry

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16 Apr 04 - 10:19 AM (#1163173)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST,Oscar Meyer, a proud Weiner Dog!

I am a Dachshund, and I want to put in my two cents on this very important subject. I have long been upset by the lack of respect accorded to my species in most Christian churches and congregations. While it is true that many Christians like Dachshunds and keep them as pets, no Dachshund has ever been made a priest or a minister. We have been shut out of participating in an equal fashion. We are discouraged from singing along during hymns, although we dearly love to join in and have excellent voices. We are not allowed to mark territory or engage in normal social practices within churches either. The horrible truth is that Dachshunds are still being subjected to brutal corporal punishment for doing things as ordinary and inoffensive as marking the lectern! This shows extreme insensitivity, in my opinion, and is unconscionable. It is time that we "Weiner Dogs" attained the stature that we are due in the Christian community.

Oscar Meyer, the Third, of Dinsdale Court

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16 Apr 04 - 10:31 AM (#1163188)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Bill D

did you hear about the Russian Wolfhound they wanted to breed with this cute little female weiner dog? No luck....he wouldn't stoop so low...

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17 Apr 04 - 03:36 AM (#1163769)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: dianavan

John - you mentioned the black, hairy thing under GW's arm. It was a Scotty. According to Donuel, Bush dropped him on the tarmac. The dog died a few days later as a result of his injuries.

I think it was an omen.

Maybe we should send him a wiener dog for solace. I think it would fit his image.

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17 Apr 04 - 02:26 PM (#1163869)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Cluin

A more important question is... why did LH spell honour that way when he opened the thread?

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17 Apr 04 - 02:36 PM (#1163879)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Rapparee

Because, even though Canadian, LH spells correctly.

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17 Apr 04 - 02:37 PM (#1163881)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

In eighteen-fourteen we took a little trip . . . .

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17 Apr 04 - 02:49 PM (#1163889)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Sometimes I use American spelling, sometimes British spelling. Why? Well, why not?

honour = honor
neighbour = neighbor
Loo-tenant = Lef-tenant
etc....

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17 Apr 04 - 03:17 PM (#1163903)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: steve in ottawa

The only good things that came out of that war:
-Dolly Madison ice cream (for the States) and
-Laura Secord chocolates (for Canada)
I think we got the better deal :-)

Anyone watch "Spellbound"? It's so weird to hear foreign words given American pronunciations. My favourite: foyer. Creme de menthe also startles me.

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17 Apr 04 - 07:27 PM (#1164034)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

Love those chocolates. Better than sex (for all I know).

Little Hawk, at risk of trivializing this otherwise serious thread, WHERE IS THE GOAT?

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18 Apr 04 - 09:00 AM (#1164325)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Georgiansilver

Baptists may not honour weiners but they sure do honour my dog....everyone honours my dog..my long nosed long tailed terrier. No-one has the option but to respect and honour my dog!!! It is so special

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19 Apr 04 - 05:17 AM (#1164998)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Mmmmm CHOCOLATE Chicago Weiner Dogs!...xx..e

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20 Apr 04 - 04:30 AM (#1165828)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

I'm very excited...I think I killed this thread! If so, I can retire on my laurels and forget about being the last on the other thread...please???..xx..e

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20 Apr 04 - 05:36 PM (#1166501)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Bruce, I gave the goat the most explicit instructions. I hope she has not gone astray. She may have been diverted along the way. Maybe we should have an APB put out on her by the highway patrol in Manitoba and Saskatchewan.

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20 Apr 04 - 05:43 PM (#1166507)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: 42

I've got your goat! Put $1 000 000.00 in unmarked bills in your guitar case and throw it off the Tallahasee bridge at midnight tuesday.

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20 Apr 04 - 05:48 PM (#1166514)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Aww, fer Chrissakes! This is the kind of thoughtless BS I expect from Raptor when he can't find anything useful to do...

One million dollars???? YOU gotta be kidding. I know I've got good credit around here, but that's ridiculous. And I am not going to Tallahassee merely to satisfy your perverted cravings!

Let's talk turkey here. How about ten bucks and a few free Dylan tapes?

- LH

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20 Apr 04 - 07:30 PM (#1166617)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

I will come up with the million. But, if the guitar case isn't waterproof, the ink on the bills will run. What is plan B? Little Hawk is talkin' turkey. I am talkin' goat.

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21 Apr 04 - 05:34 AM (#1166916)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Oh Maaaaannn! So close to killing a thread and I lose out to a GOAT! Story of my life, guys..xx..e

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21 Apr 04 - 09:04 AM (#1167048)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

Sheer persistence is the only answer, Ellenpoly. Persist beyond all reason, and one day yours WILL be the last post.

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21 Apr 04 - 09:31 AM (#1167074)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Sage words from one who knows goats a bit too intimately LH...but at least the kitties of the world are again safe..xx..e

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21 Apr 04 - 03:13 PM (#1167141)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Rapparee

Amazing. The title to this thread makes sense, well, sort of sense, in almost any permutation!

Why don't weiners honor baptist dogs?
Why don't dogs honor baptist weiners?
Why don't honor baptists dog weiners?
Why don't baptists dog weiner honors?
Honors dog baptists. Why don't weiners?

and many others! Truly inspired!

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21 Apr 04 - 03:38 PM (#1167175)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

That is so cosmic! Rapaire, you are a brilliant man.

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21 Apr 04 - 04:37 PM (#1167230)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Rapparee

Thank you, LH. I'm proud to say that I'm humble about it.

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21 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM (#1167235)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

Shatner couldn't have said it better.

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21 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM (#1167271)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Strick

Madness has an internal rational all its own.

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21 Apr 04 - 06:27 PM (#1167321)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST,Seamus Kennedy

Anything to prevent Ellenpoloy killing a perfectly thread!

Seamus

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22 Apr 04 - 03:55 AM (#1167669)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Okey Dokey... I can see I'm wasting my time here. I'll leave you to your goats and weiner dogs, and go hover over at the last thread site...sigh...xx..e

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22 Apr 04 - 10:35 AM (#1167968)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: el ted

Interesting.

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22 Apr 04 - 12:30 PM (#1168092)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Ellenpoly

Oh, don't "interesting" us, el ted! You're just hovering here so you can count coup..xx..e

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22 Apr 04 - 09:07 PM (#1168516)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

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22 Apr 04 - 09:08 PM (#1168518)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

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22 Apr 04 - 09:08 PM (#1168519)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

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22 Apr 04 - 09:08 PM (#1168520)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Peace

Hi el ted.

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22 Apr 04 - 09:38 PM (#1168531)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Dave Hanson

What the fucking hell is a WEINER dog anyway ???????????

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22 Apr 04 - 10:09 PM (#1168546)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Rapparee

How can you resist????

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22 Apr 04 - 10:47 PM (#1168563)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

A weiner dog is Mother Nature's noblest creation (with a little help from human beings)...the Dachshund! Your typical weiner dog is short and long at the same time, which is very cosmic. He's "a living contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction, takin' every wrong direction on his lonely way back home". He is both comical and courageous. He is ready to die by gluttony at any available opportunity, and would rather sleep than do almost anything at all...except EAT! He believes that stolen food always tastes better than one's own food. He believes he's getting a raw deal, and missing out on the action. He regards all rodents as totally expendable. He knows that sitting up is so irresistible that you will definitely give him the roast turkey if he just does it long enough. He knows that the nose knows all that is worth knowing.

- LH

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23 Apr 04 - 04:42 AM (#1168758)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Dave Hanson

I thank you for your explanation Little Hawk, now in what context is ' honor ' meant.
eric

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23 Apr 04 - 04:46 AM (#1168759)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: el ted

Hi brucie.Ellen you hve sussed me, I am hovering for those all important 100th posts.

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23 Apr 04 - 04:16 PM (#1169306)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: dianavan

Little Hawk - They might honour the Dachshund but never the weiner dog. Weiney is a bad word and might make them think sexual thoughts.

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23 Apr 04 - 04:24 PM (#1169321)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Amos

Or want to dance!

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23 Apr 04 - 04:41 PM (#1169351)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: 42

but...is it really worth "nosing"
j

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23 Apr 04 - 05:01 PM (#1169374)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST,Valdy

Almost anything organic is worth nosing, except maybe a skunk. I am gratified that people are at last recognizing the grievous wrong that has been done to my kind by the Baptist congregations. Every dog has his day, and we intend to have ours. We don't demand to be worshipped, only served in a way befitting our unique contribution to the world. In other words, we should always be supplied with a soft cushion or couch, fresh water, respectful service, and unlimited amounts of delicious food. I wish to stress the final point. Unlimited amounts of delicious food!

Valdy (proud to be a Dachshund)

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23 Apr 04 - 05:21 PM (#1169406)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: dianavan

They'll eat anything! My mother has a wiener dog that recently ate the end of a bic lighter. We wondered why he was coughing until we found the mangled lighter. He's O.K. now.

This is her 3rd wiener dog. The first one died while white water rafting. The dog was tied to the raft when the raft tipped over. All the people were saved but the little dog went down the river with the raft. His name was JoJo. Her second was Joey and this one is called J.J.

Me and my brothers (we're all in our fifties) admit to being jealous of the little creatures. We feel like we have been replaced by a wiener. I'm not a Baptist but I don't honour them either. My mother honours them but she likes sex and dancing too.

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24 Apr 04 - 05:05 PM (#1169940)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: GUEST

scootertrash
But baptists DO honor weiner dogs

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25 Apr 04 - 07:28 AM (#1170332)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: 42

Do they call weiner dogs frankfurters in Europe?
j

and do Baptists across the sea have more respect for this molehill of a breed?

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25 Apr 04 - 08:05 PM (#1170776)
Subject: RE: BS: Why don't Baptists honor weiner dogs?
From: Little Hawk

No. Germans usually call dachsunds "dachles" (dah-k'lz), which is an affectionate term. When a German says "frankfurter", he means a human being from Frankfurt. When an American says frankfurter, he means a hotdog. When a German says "weiner" (vee-ner), he means either a sausage or a person from Vienna! I am sure that German Baptists venerate dachles almost as they would sacred objects.

- LH

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