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Unlikely first lines

16 Jul 04 - 12:31 AM (#1226692)
Subject: Unlikely first lines
From: Jerry Rasmussen

Some songs start out very unexpectedly, and it's hard to get a clue where the song is going. Here's a first line about a dog as an example from One Dog Per Verse:

"Right underneath the "By Order Of The Health Department
No Dogs Allowed, you'd find him every day."

Any other ones come to mind?

Jerry

16 Jul 04 - 04:07 AM (#1226744)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: mooman

Crash Test Dummies - The Bereft Man's Song:

I have all my wisdom teeth
Two up top...two beneath

Peace

moo

16 Jul 04 - 05:29 AM (#1226773)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Wolfgang

translation from German song

"My big brother Franz Villon lives with me in my room" (The French poet Francois Villon is dead since some hundred years)

Wolfgang

16 Jul 04 - 06:10 AM (#1226796)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Strollin' Johnny

"There's acrimony down in the card-room, with winning hands thrown on the baize".
Stan The Man.

16 Jul 04 - 08:44 AM (#1226866)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Barbara

"Afflictions though they seem severe,
Are oft times in mercy [sent?]{seen?]..."

From a UK revival hymn about the prodigal son.
It always amazed me that someone would start a song with the word "afflictions" partly because of its meaning, but also because it's not particularly easy to sing.
Blessings,
Barbara

16 Jul 04 - 09:00 AM (#1226871)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Snuffy

CASTLES IN THE AIR
(Anne Swithinbank)

Happy are those children that have railways in the hall

16 Jul 04 - 10:08 AM (#1226918)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Jerry Rasmussen

Good ones, all. I keep thinking of opening lines for songs that don't exist... maybe for a song challenge:

It was twilight in the garden of Eden
The end of another perfect day

Jerry

16 Jul 04 - 10:28 AM (#1226933)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Mark Dowding

"I love a good bum on a woman, it makes my day"

From "On Again, On Again" by Jake Thackray

16 Jul 04 - 05:17 PM (#1227220)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Celtaddict

"If they ever drop the bomb, you said..."

["...I'll find you in the flames."]
Jimmy Webb, "All I Know"

16 Jul 04 - 05:56 PM (#1227257)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Burke

"How tedious and tasteless the hours,"

When Jesus no longer I see!


Green Fields in Sacred Harp p. 127
Lyrics: John Newton, 1779

16 Jul 04 - 06:18 PM (#1227274)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Jerry Rasmussen

At Joe Offer's request, the rest of the words to One Dog Per Verse are posted in another thread of that title..

Jerry

16 Jul 04 - 08:25 PM (#1227357)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Kent Davis

Hymns often use startling imagery, leading to some unlikely first lines:
1."There is a fountain filled with blood drawn from Immanuel's veins."
2."There's a stranger at the door: Let Him in!"
3."This world is not my home. I'm just a-passing through."
4."Pierce my ear, O Lord my God. Take me to your door this day."

16 Jul 04 - 08:41 PM (#1227366)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: michaelr

If I had a boat I'd go out on the ocean
And if I had a pony I'd ride him on my boat

(Lyle Lovett)

16 Jul 04 - 08:42 PM (#1227368)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Jerry Rasmussen

Good one, Michael!

Love the song

Jerry

16 Jul 04 - 08:49 PM (#1227373)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Joybell

Yes we do too! We all wanted to be Roy Rogers didn't we?
One of my favourite first lines is:

She was morning and I was night-time
(or was it the other way around? Anyway to go on)
I one day woke up to find her lying beside my bed....

What was the poor girl doing on the floor I've always wondered? Joy

16 Jul 04 - 09:20 PM (#1227385)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Celtaddict

"The ways of man are passing strange;
He buys his freedom and he counts his change."

The Ways of Man
Gordon Bok

16 Jul 04 - 10:47 PM (#1227429)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Bill D

"They passed an ordnance in the town,
Said we'd have to tear it down,
That little brown shack out back so dear to me..."

Bill Ed Wheeler .."The Passing of the Backhouse"

16 Jul 04 - 10:53 PM (#1227432)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Bill D

"Here's little song about 4 wet pigs.." (Greg Brown??)

"I've just been wondrin' how flamingos would taste.." (do a search)

"There were five, five constipated men in the Bible..."

16 Jul 04 - 11:17 PM (#1227440)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Bobert

"there's a man on TV
he's killed 23."

Golden Smog, "Don't Wanta Walk Were He Walked"

I know. Sick. But, hey, the song gets sicker...

Bobert

17 Jul 04 - 01:19 AM (#1227478)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Bev and Jerry

"Woke up this morning, put on my slippers, walked in the kitchen and died"

John Prine - Please Don't Bury Me

Bev and Jerry

17 Jul 04 - 04:39 AM (#1227525)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Mark Cohen

"Nero's expedition up the Nile failed."
By Moondog...it's one of my all-time favorite rounds. The whole thing goes:

Nero's expedition up the Nile failed
Because the water hyacinths had clogged the river
Denying Nero's vessels passage
Through the Sud of Nubia

It's got all kinds of wonderful jazzy chords in it. Supposedly it was a line from a history textbook.

Aloha,
Mark

17 Jul 04 - 04:39 AM (#1227526)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: George Papavgeris

"The Omega Incabloc Oyster Accutron 72
Is the only wristwatch for a drummer..."
(Pete Atkin - Wristwatch for a Drummer)

"You've got to help me, doc, I see things in the night"
(Pete Atkin/Clive James - Screen Freak)

"Your manifest perfections never cease
To drive the day-long terrors out of mind"
(Pete Atkin/Clive James - Double Agent)

You might have guessed it - they're heroes of mine. Clive James writes unparalleled lyrics; the closest one can get to him is that other wonderful man, Tom Lehrer.

The best I can offer from my own scribblings is:

"Beware of the bite of the underdog"
(from the song of the same title)

17 Jul 04 - 07:21 AM (#1227563)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,Barrie Roberts

How about Bill Caddick's 'The Writing of Tipperary', which begins:

King Edward the Seventh, who some called the Peacemaker, died in 19 and 10,
He was buried at Windsor, and in the procession walked the finest and greatest of men'.

18 Jul 04 - 02:53 AM (#1228041)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Nerd

Traditional songs can have weird opening lines too

they say old man your horse will die
and they say so, and we hope so...

he's followed her up and he's followed her down
and it's into the room where she lay...


How about the Christy Moore one

At the early age of thirty-eight
me mother sent me west
Get up, says she, and get a job,
Says I, I'll do me best...

18 Jul 04 - 04:51 AM (#1228067)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: JennyO

"It was cosmic and freaky, one midsummer day..."

18 Jul 04 - 05:17 AM (#1228071)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: alanabit

"I hate myself for loving you and the weakness which it showed..."
I think it's from Dirge by Bob Dylan. It's a pretty miserable song, but it is also a convincing character sketch.

18 Jul 04 - 09:46 AM (#1228146)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Charley Noble

One of our more successful collaborations on Mudcat has to be "The Blow at Witch's Hole," the first verse of which runs:

As we set out one evening, upon the Northern Sea,
Headed out a-fishing, for to earn our daily fee;
Headed out to fish, me lads, and set our course so bold,
When our ship was (when our ship was),
When our ship was (when our ship was),
Overwhelmed, dragged down the Witch?s Hole!

Cheerily,
Charley Noble

19 Jul 04 - 02:16 AM (#1228724)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,Gerry

In my opinion, the most unlikely *third* line in a song is "Blow the dustcake from your nose" from Stan Rogers' The Field Behind the Plow. Terrific song, if you can get past that third line.

19 Jul 04 - 08:59 AM (#1228898)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Bert

...can happen to the best of us....

Someone's been cutting their toenails
19 Jul 04 - 09:43 AM (#1228918)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Chris Green

How about 'Drop kick me, Jesus, through the goalposts of life'?

19 Jul 04 - 11:00 AM (#1228970)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Chris Green

Or, from a folk perspective, anything that starts with 'As I was a-walking one morning in December..'

19 Jul 04 - 11:51 AM (#1229010)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,Vic at work

"When I was alive I was thought a good Laugh
by my friends and relations, that was enough"

From The Pit at Penzance by George Thomas, a great wordsmith.

19 Jul 04 - 03:19 PM (#1229162)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Micca

"In my room I have the plans of the First exploding handshake
and the calculated trajectories of Custard pies!"
for El Greko another Pete Atkin

19 Jul 04 - 04:05 PM (#1229203)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,JTT

Is cosuil gor mheith tu, is gur threigh tu an ghreann...

(It's like you're fading, and failing in funniness...)

From An Mhaighdean Mhara, a song about a mermaid with other wonderful lines, such as "is an sneachta ag frasach ar bheal na h-abhainn" (and the snow pouring down at the mouth of the river [as the mermaid swims there]).

As everyone knows, mermaids are incapable of seeing the humour of things - one of the first symptoms is the loss of a sense of humour. Beware.

19 Jul 04 - 04:17 PM (#1229210)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,fionnghaile

Dia duit gach cailin agus buachaill,
Sin an darna lesh go mach gus go mhaill me mall na deireadh leitir, Suil a Ruin de Clannad go blasta agus Maire go iontach maith,
Slan anois,

obviously from someone who knows not a bit of gaelic tut tut haha

19 Jul 04 - 06:43 PM (#1229325)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: McGrath of Harlow

"Penny Lane is in your ears and in your eyes"

"Through bushes and through briars I lately took my way..."

20 Jul 04 - 01:44 AM (#1229601)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: George Papavgeris

Not folk, but... "No milk today" (Herman's Hermits) And a crap song it is too.

20 Jul 04 - 06:03 AM (#1229692)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Hrothgar

There was apop song a couple of years ago that started:

"I don't believe in an existentialist God"

Does this qualify?

20 Jul 04 - 06:37 AM (#1229712)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: ScottAndrews

'I really liked her but she's dead,
And that really kind of blows'
Jim's Big Ego

Scott

20 Jul 04 - 08:10 AM (#1229741)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: A Wandering Minstrel

I'm sure it doesn't exist but there should be a song which begins:

As I stayed at home on a wet May morning
I could not hear any small birds sing
No comely maid tripped past my doorway
It was a typical damp English Spring...!

20 Jul 04 - 10:20 AM (#1229813)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,Lindsay

Someone left a cake out in the rain...

20 Jul 04 - 10:39 AM (#1229832)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Strollin' Johnny

Is that the first line Lindsay?

20 Jul 04 - 12:44 PM (#1229937)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Rain Dog

Hrothgar

I believe that first line is
' I don't believe in an interventionist God '

From the Nick Cave song Into My Arms

And a very fine song it is too

20 Jul 04 - 02:53 PM (#1230039)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,JTT

Then there's

Cad a dheinfhimid feasta gan adhmad...

(What shall we do now for timber...)

from Cill Aodain, an 18th-century Irish song about the beastly English felling the woods (and by extension, the Gael) to roove their houses of parliament and give masts to their warships.

Yeah, a good start and what the writers of Casablanca called a "wow finish" are important. Something nice and allegorical, but with a little wow of its own.

20 Jul 04 - 06:39 PM (#1230242)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: The Fooles Troupe

We should perhaps peruse the work of McGonnigal, the world's worst poet, but they weren't really songs... but I suppose singing them probably couldn't make them worse....

20 Jul 04 - 06:45 PM (#1230246)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: TS

.."Get out of the hayloft Maybelle, there's lots of chickens that need to be plucked and lots of roosters that need a good...."

- Captain Tractor

20 Jul 04 - 08:40 PM (#1230307)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: JennyO

Here's one you probably won't have heard of unless you are an Aussie:

"I shared a urinal with Martin Ferguson.."

That's the name of the song too, and it's by Bruce Watson, who's one of our favourites here. Funny song, too. Unfortunately I can't seem to find the lyrics. They are in his songbook I believe, but I don't have the songbook.

20 Jul 04 - 09:17 PM (#1230327)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Herga Kitty

"If it's a good year, there's rain in the summer" - Helen Akitt's "Smoke in the Valley", which she wrote after visiting China...

Kitty

20 Jul 04 - 10:28 PM (#1230374)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Jerry Rasmussen

There's a new country song... not sure these are the first two lines but they're good ones..

"It's hard to kiss the lips goodnight
That've been chewing your ass out all day"

Jerry

21 Jul 04 - 01:55 AM (#1230455)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,Lindsay

"Someone left a cake out in the rain
I don't think that I can take it
'Cos it took so long to bake it
And I'll never have that recipe again"

...it wasn't a "first line" - it was the chorus of "MacArthur Park"

21 Jul 04 - 02:03 AM (#1230457)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: TS

and that last one just sounds so great when you listen to Homer sing it...hehe....Slainte!

21 Jul 04 - 02:36 PM (#1230809)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: alanabit

I ache for the touch of your lips dear

But much more for the touch of your whips dear...

"Masochism Tango" by Tom Lehrer.

21 Jul 04 - 08:33 PM (#1230989)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: The Fooles Troupe

'all the kings & queens in the bible could not turn back time'

22 Jul 04 - 08:49 AM (#1231309)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Ellenpoly

"All the world seems in tune on a spring afternoon, when we're poisoning pidgeons in the park..."

(Bless you Tom Lehrer)

..xx..e

23 Jul 04 - 09:00 AM (#1232124)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Betsy

Ground gred and gutter

23 Jul 04 - 09:05 AM (#1232129)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: Bert

I'm a Lonely Little Petunia in an Onion Patch

23 Jul 04 - 09:18 AM (#1232143)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: The Fooles Troupe

Isn't it Grand, to be bloody well dead!

23 Jul 04 - 12:41 PM (#1232285)
Subject: RE: Unlikely first lines
From: GUEST,Augie

"After the Rain, in the Streets light flows like Blood, I can just taste Salt on a Humid Wind"

The always awesome Bruce Cockburn from "After the Rain",~1979