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64 messages

BS: Dead Cats.

28 Jul 04 - 10:59 PM (#1236038)
Subject: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Some basterd put a dead cat in my dustbin yesterday, no idea who, or why, it is black and white, and appears to have died of natural causes, this is quite puzzling, ie why would they put it in my bin?
surely if someones cat died, they would put it in their own bin, or bury it in their garden?
Also= if it got run over, they would have to pass at least 2 bins to get to mine [next doors, and them opposite].

Very Puzzling!
if anyone wants to see it., it will be there till the dustmen come on monday, [most hull people know where i live].


28 Jul 04 - 11:04 PM (#1236040)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

ps-i'm not going to post my address, in case any nutters put any more weird stuff in my bin, [just a few weeks ago some weirdo filled my bin with mud]

I wonder if this is some kind of racist attack?

There is a CCTV camera at the end of my street, i might phone the police, see wahts going on. [it covers my drive, but not my bin, i might phone them anyway].


28 Jul 04 - 11:14 PM (#1236047)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Bill D

someone saw that apple core, I guess---this is what happens when you have a special interest in rubbish and the disposal thereof--

(no doubt LOTS of residents who know you will be 'round to examine the cat, j0hn)


28 Jul 04 - 11:18 PM (#1236049)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Anyway=I told my freind called Steve about this, he says "oh well, least you dident get a horses head in your bed"
i said "did you get a horses head in your bed?"
he says "no"
i says, "waht you bloody on about then?"

Stupid Steve!, [maybe it was him, trying to wind me up?

he can piss off it its him, i like jokes, but dead cats in bins are not funny]
Wahts funny about that?
nothing, its not even a joke
i don't think it was him, but he's always taking the piss, but i think thats just his way.


i'm not frightened of it, i just want to know who put it there, and why?

steve said 2"Are you in the Mafier?"
no i'm not [i'm not] mafiar is italy, not hull.

apparrntly mafia put dead cats in bins to scare people, [dident scare me [not much, did a little bit though!].


28 Jul 04 - 11:22 PM (#1236050)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Peace

"if anyone wants to see it., it will be there till the dustmen come on monday"

jOhn: should I come to England from Alberta in the next few days I will be sure to include that along with Stonehenge and The Bard's birth place.

When I saw the thread title I intended to post a laconic "Stuff it." However, as you can see, I have changed my mind.

I am no longer sure how to address you, because hey you is much too informal and Sir jOhn is much too stilted. Perhaps, hither to fore, I shall refer to you as the man with the pussy in his bin. If that suits you pleasure, please let me know.


28 Jul 04 - 11:24 PM (#1236051)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

hello brucie, you can call me john if you like, who put it there, and why?


28 Jul 04 - 11:29 PM (#1236055)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Peace

John, it had to go in a bin somewhere. Don't be taking it personal. However, I think a call to the purples is in order. If you are at all concerned that someone is trying to give you a difficult time, letting them know what and when stuff happens could be a good thing. Keep well my friend.


28 Jul 04 - 11:30 PM (#1236056)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

I phoned the police, they took my name and adress, said they don't want to see it, and won't attend, and don't need to take a statement,
they gave me a "log number", it is 359 of today, wahtever that means, they said if i find out any more information to quoute that number"

IF i find out any more information?
surely thats there job?


28 Jul 04 - 11:44 PM (#1236064)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Quoute=I be sure to include that, and Sthonhenge etc"

stonhenhehge is rubbish, its just a load of old stones, they should nock it down and build a pub there.


29 Jul 04 - 01:12 AM (#1236091)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Seamus Kennedy

Dead cat - the other white meat!
Enjoy.

Seamus


29 Jul 04 - 01:18 AM (#1236094)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Blackcatter

One word of advice jOhn: Conspiracy.


29 Jul 04 - 03:01 AM (#1236115)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: C-flat

Sir j0hn, first you wake up to find your bin has been filled with mud and then, some days later, you find a dead cat deposited there,

(thinks)CAT, MUD, CAT, MUD, there's got to be a connection there somewhere!

I'll give the matter some thought and get back to you if I can find any links.

C-flat.


29 Jul 04 - 04:07 AM (#1236142)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,Raggytash

Maybe they put the mud in first knowing that their cat was poorly and going to die and they needed somewhere it bury it


29 Jul 04 - 04:13 AM (#1236149)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

theres some right weird basterds round here, i will make a few enquiries , and see wahts going on.


29 Jul 04 - 05:17 AM (#1236175)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Ellenpoly

LOL!

Listen jOhn, I don't know who did or why, but shame on them.

Care to have it stuffed?

..xx..e


29 Jul 04 - 05:28 AM (#1236177)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: SINSULL

Dig dong din
Pussy's in the bin
Who put her in?
It really is a sin.
Who pulled her out?
jOhn frm Hull


I know it doesn't rhyme but it was the best I could do at 5AM.
jOhn - maybe someone hit it and didn't want to leave it in the street. If it was meant as a threat, it would be on your doorstep. Bury the poor kitty and let it go.
SINS


29 Jul 04 - 05:31 AM (#1236181)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: mooman

jOhn,

I think C-flat might have something there, i.e. mud and then a cat.

Do you know any local Mudcatters that might do such a thing to you?

Peace

moo


29 Jul 04 - 07:24 AM (#1236225)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Mooh

It's a SIGN! Go forth spreading the Mudcat word! Just stay outa my trash...

Mooh.


29 Jul 04 - 07:25 AM (#1236228)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,noddy

could have been worse they could have posted it through the letter box.


29 Jul 04 - 07:27 AM (#1236229)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,noddy

heard that someone went on holiday for a few months and came back to find their house over-run with mice.
Someone had put a couple of mice through the door and they bred while he was away.
Hmmm who do I not Like.


29 Jul 04 - 08:25 AM (#1236259)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST

jOhn,

You don't suppose it might be some sort of retribution from some of your neighbors for something like, oh, a "Dear Bastard" note stuck on their door? Who might you have pissed off recently? That might give you a clue.


29 Jul 04 - 09:19 AM (#1236289)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rapparee

One name: Bast. It's a sign from the ancient Egyptian cat god. You're supposed to have it mummified and then build a pyramid around it. The pyramid is to become a church in honor of Bast.


29 Jul 04 - 10:08 AM (#1236314)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Dave Bryant

Sell it to the Curry Ship - they could probably make quite a few vindaloos out of it.


29 Jul 04 - 11:53 AM (#1236392)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Bill D

looks like "The Body in the Bag" finally found a home.

lots of songs about dead cats...maybe you can write one and sing it at the pub.


29 Jul 04 - 11:59 AM (#1236395)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Blackcatter

I'm from Florida. Can someone finally explain what this "mud" is?


29 Jul 04 - 02:29 PM (#1236500)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Bill D

it's what they beat their feet on in Mississippi.


29 Jul 04 - 02:51 PM (#1236513)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: TheBigPinkLad

Oh ... feet ... not 'meat.'


29 Jul 04 - 02:52 PM (#1236514)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: John MacKenzie

I recommend a wonderful book called '1001 uses for a Dead Cat'
Giok


29 Jul 04 - 03:11 PM (#1236521)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: jacqui.c

There's also a 'Further 1001 uses for a Dead Cat'.


29 Jul 04 - 03:39 PM (#1236538)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,Blackcatter

jOhn. Were you sure the cat was dead? I've heard tha Hull Mogies prefer a bit of kippin' on their back. Maybe it was just shagged out from a prolonged "Meow."


29 Jul 04 - 07:00 PM (#1236693)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Dead Horse

I suspect they put it in your bin cos it was dead, and burying it was out of the question, what with the tarmac & all.
Why worry? It werent your cat.
Peace, man.


29 Jul 04 - 07:31 PM (#1236716)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,John O'Lennaine

If it was intended as communication (along with the mud), then it's a pretty obscure way of getting a message across.

I'd be looking forward to the next instalment.

Maybe next week you'll find some BS in there.

John


29 Jul 04 - 10:35 PM (#1236806)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Blackcatter

Then again, you could just chuck it out on the street like you did the apple core.


30 Jul 04 - 01:10 AM (#1236862)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Seamus Kennedy

Blackcatter - NO! Then the old guy would REALLY yell at jOhn.

Seamus


30 Jul 04 - 01:22 AM (#1236868)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Blackcatter

Yes, but that would elicit another of these most odd threads.


30 Jul 04 - 07:04 AM (#1237000)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,noddy

is there a "uses for 1001 dead cats out yet?


30 Jul 04 - 11:25 AM (#1237164)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Blackcatter

101 Uses For a Dead Cat


31 Jul 04 - 04:27 AM (#1237713)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: John MacKenzie

That's inflation for you!
Giok


31 Jul 04 - 12:28 PM (#1237872)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: sledge

Maybe it was from the Hull mafia for some reason and they were a bit short of horses heads, plus you locked the door so they couldn't leave it in your bed so the dustbin was the next best place? just guessing.

Cheers

Sledge


01 Aug 04 - 07:13 AM (#1238228)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Raptor

Who are "dustmen" are they like really big dustBunnies?

I'd worry about that sooner than a dead Cat!

Raptor

And Why "SIR" John from hull were you Knighted?


01 Aug 04 - 08:55 AM (#1238249)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: John MacKenzie

Dustmen are now called 'Refuse Operatives' or 'Refuse disposal Officers' There's dignity in labour you know!
Alltogether now....

Oh my old mans a refuse disposal officer
He wears a refuse disposal officers hat.

Giok


01 Aug 04 - 09:54 AM (#1238261)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST

From my schooldays, and definitely on topic!

"My old man's a dustman,
He wears a dustman's hat.
He farted through the letterbox
And paralyzed the cat!"


01 Aug 04 - 09:55 AM (#1238262)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Nigel Parsons

That previous post were I, cookieless!

CHEERS

Nigel


01 Aug 04 - 01:37 PM (#1238369)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Megan L

ok john which wiches or landladies have you offended recently


02 Aug 04 - 03:18 AM (#1238733)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Big Al Whittle

Its an old Sicilian message
Sir jOhn sleeps with pussies......


02 Aug 04 - 03:25 AM (#1238734)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Now there is a ded mouse on my path!
i just popped out to local shop, came back, and there is a dead mouse on my footpath.

Whoever is putting dead things in my bin and in my garden etc, please put something that i can eat.

and if they trying to scare me, it dident work, takes something bigger than a mouse for that!

john


02 Aug 04 - 07:27 AM (#1238818)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,Sherlock

Maybe someone living local to you had a mouse problem? They put poison out for the mice. The mice ate the poison and the cat ate the mouse....they both died from the poison. Perhaps this new little dead mouse was just looking for his mousey friend, not realizing he was long dead and in the moggies tum tum, and then the effects of the poison finally took hold whilst on your path and he breathed his last mousey gasp and keeled over?


02 Aug 04 - 08:44 AM (#1238853)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Big Al Whittle

no Sir jOhn you have slipped down a Yorkshire alternative reality interface - all these dead animals mean only on thing - you are now living in a Ted Hughes poem


02 Aug 04 - 09:11 AM (#1238865)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,Sherlock

Ye Gads you don't think it was Esther's Tom-cat?
Make room for the bull, pig and hawk then jOhn.


02 Aug 04 - 02:55 PM (#1239075)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Wyrd Sister

Perhaps your path is now haunted by a ghostly cat who frightens little mouses to death? Have you tested the area by leaving littlee furry things around and looking to see if any are dead in the morning? Or does this just happen when YOU ARE NOT THERE?


02 Aug 04 - 03:35 PM (#1239096)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: GUEST,Blackcatter

jOhn - ever think about eating the cat and the mouse?


02 Aug 04 - 06:35 PM (#1239218)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Scoville

Maybe it wasn't theirs. Maybe they found it and, since they didn't know whose it was, put it in the nearest garbage can (which happened to be yours).

When our cat died, my father cremated her in the grill. He doesn't do this often but you might want to double-check next time you have friends over for a backyard barbecue . . .


02 Aug 04 - 08:07 PM (#1239279)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Big Al Whittle

bet the sausages had a funny taste after that

imagine that - finding a whisker on your burger - and thinking Poor Tiddles!


they f--k you up your Mum and Dad.....


02 Aug 04 - 11:28 PM (#1239355)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Scoville

Naw--we still have that barbecue. He used gasoline (cats have a lot of water in them) and the heat took all the finish off the outside so it looks like crap but it still works OK.


03 Aug 04 - 03:02 PM (#1239631)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Big Al Whittle

oh well in that case throw another moggy on the fire - no harm done!


03 Aug 04 - 07:54 PM (#1239841)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Hello=STOP PUTING DED THINGS IN MY GARDEN.john


04 Aug 04 - 08:02 PM (#1240491)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Big Al Whittle

the thing is jOhn - we tried putting live things in there, and they ran away. The zebra was insistent on being moved and we didn't catch it up until Cleethorpes.


05 Aug 04 - 03:48 AM (#1240615)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Roger the Skiffler

When you find the head of Punch the Horse in your bed, THEN you need to worry! It means the Hull Riff Raff Mafia (or Raffia for short)are on to you.

RtS


05 Aug 04 - 04:13 AM (#1240621)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Scooby Doo

Hello Sir John if i can call you that.I have just lol so much that i have a stitch in my side.
I would think you have upset the local witchcraft society in you area,before long they may burn you at the stack for been a wizard.If i were you i would go away for a while it may die down.
Take care.
All the best.


05 Aug 04 - 07:23 PM (#1240930)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Bill Hahn//\\

Or---as Eric Bogle sings====She's Nobody's Moggie (spell?) Now.

Bill Hahn


05 Aug 04 - 07:32 PM (#1240937)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Rt Revd Sir jOhn from Hull

Scooby do-its not funny,
anyway=how would you like ded things in youre garden? [youn wouldent!


06 Aug 04 - 03:32 AM (#1241253)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Big Al Whittle

"Cats have a lot of water in them...."

I wonder if Ranulph Fiennes knows that one, for next time he's stuck in the desert. You get thirsty....wring out a cat, the obvious solution.

To paraphrase Robert Frost one could worse than be a wringer of cats.

Hows the body count this morning jOhn?


06 Aug 04 - 03:52 AM (#1241260)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Georgiansilver

First the MUD in the bin, then the CAT,,strange eh John?
Mud..Cat...Mudcat......mmmmmmmmm. Someone playing tricks.....
It was great meeting the Hull crowd on Tuesday at Barton...would lovew to visit Hull Club but a bit far from here. Best wishes.


06 Aug 04 - 04:01 AM (#1241265)
Subject: RE: BS: Dead Cats.
From: Scooby Doo

Sorry if i offended you,it was not my intention.My cat brings dead animals into my garden so i am use to it.