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16 Aug 04 - 09:09 AM (#1248616) Subject: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Charley Noble Sifting through the morning papers, I was avidly reading the results of the sailing competitions, the gymnastics, the various swim meets only to be sorely disappointed to see NOTHING about the "banjo throw" or the "concertina squeeze." What else is missing? Please spare us the "hamster toss" which is amply covered in an adjacent thread. I note that there was ample coverage of the women's vollyball competition, except for what the participants were actually attired in. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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16 Aug 04 - 09:40 AM (#1248621) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: SINSULL You asked it for it Charley but before the flame wars start - I am only the messenger. From my nephew: Neither Here Nor There Issue 107 Feeling Greece-y I've been watching a lot of Olympics the past few days. Surprise, surprise, some of things I've seen have got me thinking. So today I'd like to share with you a piece that is two-fold in its intentions: first, I'd like to list some of the problems that I have with the Olympics as they currently stand, and, second, I'd like to present some of my ideas for improving the Games. So pour yourself some ouzo and bust out a platter of grape leaves. It's time to brainstorm, Olympic-style. Enjoy. Problem #1: Beach volleyball: When was Hooters given discretion over the sports chosen for Olympic competition? Sample promo: "Up next, Americans Sandy Crack and Floppy Tailpipe take on the tough Brazilian team of Flamboyenta Cupsize and her one-named teammate Buttocklia. She's the Cher of wedgies." Problem #2: Synchronized Diving: Two people doing one stupid thing at the same time does not automatically merit inclusion in the world's most important sporting event. If divers feel they need to have more than one person diving at a time, it should be in an event like "slap-fight diving" wherein they bitch slap each other on their way down to the water, or, taking it up a notch, "knife fight diving." You divers want to do little synchronized dance moves, let's go all the way. "West Side Story," here we come! Problem #3: Steeplechase: "Okay, check this out. What if, instead of just having people run around the track and jump over hurdles, we. get this. get this. we put puddles in their way too?" "Hehehehehe! You're crazy, man. You're crazy!" "No, seriously, like, it's hard to run, right? And it's hard to jump? But it's harder to run and jump when your shoes are wet!" "Woah." "Yeah, woah." "Pass that weed." Problem #4: Handball: My problem with this sport is two-fold. One, it's not really handball. The handball I know (the American kind! Woooo! U-S-A! U-S-A!) is played by sweaty old men and over-aggressive teenagers, who run around slapping a ball against a concrete wall with their hands. American handball's rules are loosely based on racquetball and the sport appears to have been developed by people who were too busted ass broke to afford any of the racquet sports. Which leads to problem number two: basically this sport is just idiot soccer. People run around on a court, trying to throw a ball in a goal. Lacrosse without sticks, soccer without feet, basketball with an enormous net, whatever you want to call it, I call it stupid. Also, Iceland is really good at this sport. And anytime you see the words "Iceland" and "powerhouse" without reference to Bjork, you've got yourself a problem. So that's a brief look at what's wrong. "But Chris," I know you're saying, "you're really not a negative person, so don't you have some ideas to make the Olympics more entertaining and, in all likelihood, improve worldwide viewership?" It's like you read my mind. Addition #1: Wife Carrying: I actually participated in a wife carrying contest while I was in Poland last month. And let me tell you, that is a serious sport. You can keep your shot puts and your hundred yard dashes, real athletes run up hills with a woman tossed over their shoulder. By the way, my team finished a respectable fifth out of nine. Plus, no women were dropped on their heads. But they could have been. It's that kind of tension that will rope in the audience. Addition #2: Bartending: I've thought this should be in the Olympics ever since I saw Tom Cruise and Bryan Brown flinging those vodka bottles around in the 1988 hit movie "Cocktail." Listen up divers, because this is a sport that screams for synchronization. Addition #3: Break Dancing: And, by 2012, synchronized break dancing. Addition #4: Karaoke: Judging by the attendance I've seen at some of the events so far (I guess someone forgot to tell Greece that soccer is the world's most popular sport. There were more people in my bathroom on Saturday than at the Argentina/Tunisia match), the Olympics could use a shot in the arm. And what is more popular around the world right now than American Idol? The world needs to see more Pakistani women going for the gold, belting out "Wind Beneath My Wings." There won't be a dry eye in the collective house. Addition #5: Regular Olympics vs. Special Olympics: Now, just hold on. Hear me out before you launch the hate mail. Here's my idea. Hold the Olympics and the Special Olympics at the same time. Then, match the winners from each respective event in a Champion vs. Champion format. We live for feel good stories, and just by the law of averages, eventually a retarded competitor is going to win something. Won't matter what it is, 100 meter dash, doubles table tennis, fencing, anything. That victory is going to be the feel good story of the millennium, and that kid will be bigger than Chris Burke. It's about time the Down Syndrome set had its own Mary Lou Retton. Addition #6: Flaming Torch Relays: The Olympics officially begin when a flaming torch has made its way around the world and arrives at the site of the opening ceremonies. Track and field relay teams have to carry a baton around while they race. Why not combine the two? Make all the relay squads carry a large flaming stick as they race their way to Olympic glory. The fiery crashes alone would rope in the all-important NASCAR demographic that avoids the Olympics even more passionately than they avoid learning to read. Addition #7: More people with cancer: Nothing tugs at the heartstrings like an athlete struggling with a relative's illness. You want ratings, get Dick Enberg in a studio with a roomful of crying discus tossers, lamenting the deteriorating condition of their sister, mother or cousin. American speed skater Dan Jansen was the master of this little chestnut. For a large portion of my life, I thought the death of a Jansen family member was a scheduled part of the opening ceremonies of the Winter Games. Addition #8: Pay-per-view urine testing: Finally, a way to cash in on the growing steroid scandal. There are enough pee fetishist sickos out there for the International Olympic Committee to make a mint with this idea alone. Addition #9: The Emperor of the Olympics: During the four years leading up to the next Games, a gigantic raffle would be held. People from all over the world would buy tickets and a lottery style drawing would be held to determine one lucky winner who would be given the title "Emperor of the Olympic Games." This "emperor" would dress in a toga and olive branch crown and preside over all of the competitions. Once the losers had been determined, the emperor would then have the ability, like Joaquin Phoenix in "Gladiator," to determine who lives and who dies. Thumbs up, the Moldovan women's soccer team lives to play another day. Thumbs down, a Croatian pentathlete gets thrown to the lions. Obviously, this position would come with a lot of responsibility, so all raffle entrants would have to be 18 or over. That's the extent of my gripes and ideas for now. But we're only on day three of the Games. Until next time, if you need me, I'll be on my couch, with a beer in each hand, practicing for another event I'd like to see: synchronized Bud chugging. More later Sullivan |
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16 Aug 04 - 09:45 AM (#1248625) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,Hugh Jampton What`s Missing? Two star Greek athletes. One motorbike. Lots of spectators and quite a few builders for a start! |
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16 Aug 04 - 10:03 AM (#1248632) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: DMcG Bodhran Relay race. One team has bodhrans and one tipper. The other team has neither. The race ends when the tipper is taken past the end line by the team without bodhrans. |
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16 Aug 04 - 10:32 AM (#1248641) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST Any one from anywhere in the Uk that can hold a tennis raquet. |
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16 Aug 04 - 10:59 AM (#1248663) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Splott Man Bungee Climbing Catching the Javelin Heading the Shot Synchronised Drowning 10,000 metres high hurdles |
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16 Aug 04 - 11:14 AM (#1248675) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: freightdawg Here are some of my ideas: Synchronized guitar picking. One tune would be mandatory, the second would be the optional choice. For degree of difficulty you could blindfold one, or even both, pickers. For the weight events: amplifier hauling. Classifications could be broken down into one, two and three flights of stairs. The person who could haul the biggest amplifier up the stairs in the shortest period of time and hook it up to the PA system would win. For the speed event: mandolin sprints. Each contestant is given 10 seconds. Winner would be based on how many notes were cleanly played in that 10 seconds. By the way, since Americans are often cast as being uninterested in the so called "minor sports", as an act of contrition I forced myself to watch the women's beach volleyball matches. Sure is hard to type with these dark sunglasses on, though. Freightdawg |
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16 Aug 04 - 11:17 AM (#1248680) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Lonesome EJ An American basketball player who can hit the three-pointer? |
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16 Aug 04 - 11:27 AM (#1248686) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Charley Noble Wow! Sinsull, isn't it wonderful to have a place to post these thoughts? I'be been musing over the sailing competitions, their lack of coverage, and thinking to myself that if they added "hurling" or "heaving over the lee rail" to the scoring matrix, it would heighten interest and rack up more beverage ads. Amplifier hauling, mandolin sprints, keep 'em coming. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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16 Aug 04 - 12:14 PM (#1248708) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Rapparee Synchronized nose and banjo picking. Roller skeet. Fencing. REAL fencing. Not with those sissy electric swords, but settin' postholes and stringin' barbed wire over sage-covered hardpan. HALO jumping -- you cut didoes and capers on the way down (as in diving), and the person who opens their parachute at the lowest altitude demonstrates how a winner can also be a loser. Modern and Classic Sextatholon. Bowling. |
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16 Aug 04 - 12:59 PM (#1248725) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: wysiwyg The Nose-Flute Marathon and the Autoharp-Tuning Sprint. ~S~ |
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16 Aug 04 - 01:12 PM (#1248732) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: JennyO Washtub bass-jumping |
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16 Aug 04 - 01:40 PM (#1248746) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Bill D the Sportscaster toss! (different point schedules depending on whether his mouth is duct-taped or not.) The 'random event' drawing....special event where a competitor can draw an event out of a hat and do something 'new' ..we might get Greco-Roman wrestlers doing pole vault, or 82lb gymnasts doing Greco-Roman wrestling...or Weightlifters riding equestrian courses...boggles the mind! |
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16 Aug 04 - 01:41 PM (#1248747) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Amos Naked Greek runners...men's and women's 24-hour dash.... |
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16 Aug 04 - 01:59 PM (#1248758) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Joe Offer Sinsull participated in a wife carrying contest in Poland? Gee, I didn't know Sinsull was even married! Or did I misread something somewhere? [grin] -Joe Offer- |
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16 Aug 04 - 02:27 PM (#1248769) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: SINSULL Joe - Just how old are you???? I said it was from my nephew! Yes. You missed something. SINS |
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16 Aug 04 - 04:13 PM (#1248827) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: akenaton Sportsmanship. |
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16 Aug 04 - 05:36 PM (#1248903) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: KateG Sports! Hubby & I gave it a look the other night. In about 45 minutes of programming (or however long it took us to eat supper and drink a couple of glasses of wine) we saw maybe 10 minutes of events. The rest was given over to advertisements, travelogue, advertisements, warm fuzzy athelete stories - including a piece about Lance Armstrong, who's not doing the Olympics this time round -- and, of course, more advertisements. |
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16 Aug 04 - 06:03 PM (#1248929) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Once Famous Two guys Greeking each other in Greece. |
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16 Aug 04 - 06:07 PM (#1248931) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST Ah, so the shrink couldn't give you the full hour this week then MG? |
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16 Aug 04 - 06:09 PM (#1248932) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Charley Noble When I attended Michigan State University, back in the Pleistocene, we used to fantasize how various departments and colleges of the University could be more efficently combined. Some of the best combinations, we thought, were The School of Animal Packaging, a combination of Animal Husbandry (don't ask!) and the School of Packaging (don't ask!). We also came up with some wonderful courses such as the Pathology of Animal Husbandry. We clearly had too much time on our hands, or too much beer, and there was no Mudcat. Of course, there is no relevance in this posting to the topic at hand, except to point out that the graduates of MSU's School of Packaging would win hands down in any Olympic packaging competition, even against competitors from neighboring University of Michigan. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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16 Aug 04 - 06:22 PM (#1248937) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST sex |
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16 Aug 04 - 06:31 PM (#1248943) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Wyrd Sister Underwater hang-gliding 100yard stare Synchronised English Ceilidh |
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16 Aug 04 - 06:40 PM (#1248950) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Bert All of the bar SPORTS. Darts, Pool, Bar skittles etc. They could be played at the same time as Nephew's Karaoke. |
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16 Aug 04 - 07:18 PM (#1248973) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: harvey andrews Slowest chorus singers. Groups from each nation will be given a 12 verse and 12chorus song to sing. All will begin at the same tempo. The winner is the group that sings the final chorus the slowest. A certain gold for Britain |
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16 Aug 04 - 07:53 PM (#1248989) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Bobert Chug-lugin' is the offical Wes Ginny sport, though butt scratchin' and spittin' are makin' waves for consideration... Then of course there's the usual clothes pitchin' that occurs on Saturday nite when Billie Jean has had just about 'nuff od Bubba and throws all his stuff out in front of the double wide... Hey, some them gals can move yer butt out in 'bout 5 minutes... That involves some major athleticism... Actually, I gotta a buddy, Daryl, who said something stupid to his ol' lady and thought he could outrun her, which he was doing well at until she beaned him with a boot at well over 75 feet... Yeah, I'd like to see the "boot toss" added as a woman's sport... Bobert |
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16 Aug 04 - 08:14 PM (#1249006) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: RangerSteve I saw on the news this morning that there's a couch potato olympics. The competitors sit in Lazy-Boy recliners and watch the real olympics on TV. The person who can stay awake the longest will win tickets to the next Winter Olympics. I don't know if they get fed. True couch potatoing involves junk food. The record is a little over 2 days. on a serious note, what's missing from the US broadcast is some words of praise for the teams that beat the US athletes. I'm aware that our basketball team sucks, and that's probably one of the reasons the Puerto Rican team beat us, but would it hurt our reporters to say that the PR team also beat us because they are really good at what they do? |
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16 Aug 04 - 08:18 PM (#1249011) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,heric They have improved, though. ABC would switch from a US Basketball loss, mid-game, to ping pong matches between Malawi and Tuvalu. |
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17 Aug 04 - 04:23 AM (#1249187) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: open mike shrinks never give a full hour...50 minutes is the max. maybe there should be a competetion for them. will the real couch potatoe please stand up?How have you been feeling? |
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17 Aug 04 - 06:00 AM (#1249237) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: JennieG Lagerphone making - you start with a carton of beer - first person to open (and of course consume, we don't like to see waste) bottle gets one point. When all beer is drunk (as, by now, is the drinker) then the lagerphone must be constructed from the bottle tops and a broom handle. Extra bonus points if the player can get a tune from the darned thing. Cheers JennieG who is finding the non-stop Olympic coverage boooooring but whose husband likes sport........ |
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17 Aug 04 - 08:13 AM (#1249290) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,noddy Events the Brits can win! |
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17 Aug 04 - 08:26 AM (#1249299) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: HRH ted of hull DRUGS! |
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17 Aug 04 - 08:32 AM (#1249304) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Dave Bryant Transatlantic Bodhran race - using banjos as the paddles. Kazoo Swallowing. |
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17 Aug 04 - 09:19 AM (#1249323) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Roger the Skiffler Underwater Scrabble Strip Chess RtS |
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17 Aug 04 - 12:03 PM (#1249446) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: JennyO Horizontal abseiling Snakes and ladders - with REAL snakes and REAL ladders Long distance gargling |
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17 Aug 04 - 12:14 PM (#1249458) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Little Hawk William Shatner. In a thong. |
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17 Aug 04 - 12:18 PM (#1249462) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Amergin barroom curling. barroom brawling. bodhran hurling. |
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17 Aug 04 - 12:43 PM (#1249486) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: JennyO The 100 metre grovel musical chairs |
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17 Aug 04 - 01:00 PM (#1249496) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp A banana-peeling contest, a tree-climbing contest, and showgirls doing a can-can act. |
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17 Aug 04 - 01:08 PM (#1249500) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Bert Does anyone remember that made for TV drama back in the Sixties called "The Year of The Sex Olympics" ? |
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17 Aug 04 - 01:10 PM (#1249502) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,MarkS Any mention of shooting sports. There are 17 events. Anybody seen any coverage at all? Mark |
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17 Aug 04 - 01:13 PM (#1249503) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: akenaton Spectators. |
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17 Aug 04 - 01:19 PM (#1249513) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,Thighs fan, Caught sight of some coverage the other day, and it left me confused, which is very easy to do when dealing with sport. It said they were going to show the football? Is there a UK footie team then? Is it the best of all nations playing? I never knew we had such a team. Who is the captain? If Becks was playing then I missed seeing his thighs. |
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17 Aug 04 - 01:36 PM (#1249528) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Clinton Hammond Missing? How about the projected 15,000 stray dogs that 'experts' feared were to be poisoned in the street to make for a cleaner Athens? http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/allnews/tm_objectid=14416209%26method=full%26siteid=50143%26headline=greeks--to-gas-15-000-dogs-before-olympics--name_page.html (You'll have to copy & paste cause the link maker isn't working with this url for some reason... ) Where's the Mudcat 'outrage' on this one??? |
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17 Aug 04 - 02:11 PM (#1249547) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Big Al Whittle I think its the weather. It all looks a bit sweaty and uncomfortable. You'd have to be out of your head on drugs to start running and jumping round in that heat. |
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17 Aug 04 - 03:28 PM (#1249598) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Sttaw Legend UK medals ! (apart from harriWattsband winning the sequence diving) |
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17 Aug 04 - 05:36 PM (#1249743) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Charley Noble Civility on the part of NBC's sports announcers. What a bunch of hacks, sports wannebees, and gossips. It would be nice to line 'em up for an archery competition. They should be required to clean up after the equestrian competitions, using their bare hands. And when we finish with the announcers, let's line up the sponsor representatives. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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17 Aug 04 - 06:06 PM (#1249778) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,ritchie I think that there should be races where the contestants dress up in each qualifying round as a celebrity ie for one round as elvis, the next norman wisdom the next max wall until eventually the final when it should be a running backwards race wearing ...you pick!(whatever floats your boat) I also think there should be a viewers vote, never mind how good someone is ..hey its reality lets get real. If its all about representing your country then i think all the heads of state should take part. just as a matter of interest when do the games start? Is it soon? kali whatever Ritchie |
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17 Aug 04 - 06:17 PM (#1249795) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: belter I'd like to see some reasonable coverage of less popular sports. Like fencing. I once saw about 5 seconds of olimpic fencing coverage at about 1am a couple of olimics ago. Another thing they should have is SCA stile armored combat. I think the could have individual, 5 person melee, and 100 fighter team batle. |
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18 Aug 04 - 03:55 AM (#1250064) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Roger the Skiffler ...and not forgetting the Kenneth Horne programme favourite: the Over Eighties Nudist Leapfrog Team! RtS |
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18 Aug 04 - 05:04 AM (#1250110) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,noddy unbiased presenters. |
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18 Aug 04 - 06:11 AM (#1250165) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Dave Bryant RtS - Over Eighties Nudist Leapfrog Team The British team all tested positve for the banned drug Viagra, but they had a great time training and one member qualified for the nude pole-vaulting. |
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18 Aug 04 - 06:35 AM (#1250180) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: George Papavgeris 1. Synchronised Vacuuming 2. Freestyle Shopping 3. Rhythmic Crotch-rearranging 4. 4 x Bouzouki Medley 5. Long Distance Ballad Singing 6. Papparazzi Avoiding |
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18 Aug 04 - 07:32 AM (#1250209) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,noddy a British football team. |
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18 Aug 04 - 02:57 PM (#1250618) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: belter buzkashi |
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18 Aug 04 - 03:01 PM (#1250622) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST custard juggling! and I can't believe they aren't televising the jello diving competition. |
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18 Aug 04 - 05:57 PM (#1250786) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Cluin Women's Nude Beach Volleyball |
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20 Aug 04 - 02:40 AM (#1251655) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Wolfgang British gold medals Wolfgang |
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20 Aug 04 - 04:10 AM (#1251701) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,noddy come on now Wolfgang thats going a bit to far! No one expects there to be any! |
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20 Aug 04 - 04:11 AM (#1251703) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,noddy OOPS sailing...Well done girls. |
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20 Aug 04 - 10:41 AM (#1252025) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Cluin The Big 3 (in Canada): Hockey Curling Lacrosse Okay, Lacrosse is in there, but whoever gets to see the matches or hear how they went? |
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23 Aug 04 - 09:27 AM (#1254430) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Roger the Skiffler Synchronised Tiddlywinks Black Belt Yahtzee Projectile vomiting (Tourists visiting Egypt and Dominican Republic expected to fight out the final) 100 yard backward hop RtS (OK, Roger, that's enough, calm down now, step away from the keyboard, take your meds...) |
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23 Aug 04 - 09:39 AM (#1254442) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST Cluin, Hockey is in there. If you mean ice hockey, then Im sure that if anything that would be in the winter olympics (BTW thats when they have curling) |
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23 Aug 04 - 11:29 AM (#1254521) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Bagpuss That last guest was me without me cookie (I ate it cos i was hungry). |
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23 Aug 04 - 04:08 PM (#1254713) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,m Sun bathing Here's what I have in mind. Well, it's difficult to actually TELL you what I have in mind, but work with me on this. Wait for a sunny day. Got to a nearby beach, swim in the surf for thee minutes, get all nippley, and lie down. The first one dry, wins! Creative tan-line design The use of Canadian duct tape to block the sun's ray would not only give Canada's economy a much-needed boost, but also defoliate those hard-to-reach areas when the tape was torn off at the medal ceremony. An international panel of art critics would assess and judge based on balance, composition, etc. This would cause a problem for dark-skinned people, so they would be judged on the duct tape alone. Farting competition This event will speak for itself. |
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24 Aug 04 - 09:14 AM (#1255225) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: sledge How about a mudcat olympics, moaning, bitching and whining would of course be the most hotly contested events. Just enjoy it for the spectacle it is, if you don't like it, change channels on the tv, go to a session or read a book. Sledge. |
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24 Aug 04 - 10:52 AM (#1255288) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Charley Noble The actual Olympics are even more mind buggling than many of the suggestions above. How about a medal awarded to the player who wins the competition to dispute medal awards? Yesterday that award would have to have been awarded to the spectators who refused to pipe down until the judges reconsidered and upgraded their marks for the Russian high bar gymna st Alexei Nemov. He still didn't medal but I certainly agree with the crowd that his 6 "releases" were brilliantly executed, far more demanding than what the medalists achieved, and if he had managed to "stick" his landing he would have won the gold. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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24 Aug 04 - 12:40 PM (#1255402) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Wolfgang The alternative medal table: Which country has most doped athletes found out in the Olympics? The host country is leading this table. Wolfgang |
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24 Aug 04 - 12:44 PM (#1255406) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST " You mean that's a table man? I thought it was a big slab of chocolate.* |
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25 Aug 04 - 09:48 AM (#1256248) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST Charley, the problem in the gymnastics was that "safe" routines were being given tariffs of 10. So it would be in your best interests to do one of the high scoring safe routines with few errors rather than risk your neck on the crowd pleasing risky elements. All it means is that the tariffs need to be looked at again (as i think they are every few years - usually when the women gymnasts start scoring perfect 10 scores a little too often). |
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25 Aug 04 - 01:44 PM (#1256512) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: robomatic Olympic Bocce Olympic Bowling Olympic Horseshoes Olympic Crossword Olympic Scrabble Olympic Competitive Eating (National Dish of Host Country or U.S. State, i.e. Haggis, Lutefisk, Scrapple) Olympic Hog Calling Olympic Log Rolling (National Trees of All Nations) Olympic Nose P*cking Olympic Paperhanging Olympic Painting (Face, Finger, By Numbers) Olympic Beer Drinking ruled out due to doping complaints Olympic Literary Criticism |
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25 Aug 04 - 06:10 PM (#1256767) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Burke Am I the only who finds it odd that there don't seem to be any signs in Greek? It hit me when I was looking at the balance beam with "Athens 2004" on it. |
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26 Aug 04 - 01:32 AM (#1257090) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: The Fooles Troupe A combination of Wrestling and Water Polo - called Water Wrestling. |
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26 Aug 04 - 03:32 AM (#1257115) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,GROK How bloody foolish can a person be? Water Polo? It would drown the horses! |
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26 Aug 04 - 10:04 AM (#1257285) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Cats Then there's always the Mens 4 by fore-biter shanty relay..... |
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26 Aug 04 - 04:15 PM (#1257574) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Charley Noble Synchronized concertina playing Dualing banjos Washtub bass paddling competition 12-string guitar tuning contest Cat-gut restringing fiddle contest (you DON'T want to hear the details) Contracorners high hurdles Balance and swing your partner, as far as you can! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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27 Aug 04 - 05:51 AM (#1257965) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: M'Grath of Altcar Dog shooting. Maybe they had that before he opening ceremony. |
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27 Aug 04 - 07:57 PM (#1258551) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Dead Horse Over 80's nudist leapfrog. That's what's missing, mate. |
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28 Aug 04 - 03:44 AM (#1258735) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: GUEST,GROK Too true. |
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28 Aug 04 - 10:08 AM (#1258843) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Greg F. Amateur Athletes |
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28 Aug 04 - 04:44 PM (#1259075) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: robomatic Greg you must be some kind of communist. |
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29 Aug 04 - 02:25 AM (#1259322) Subject: RE: BS: What's Missing from the Athens Games? From: Ebbie As a resident of the state that is/was home for the USA basketball team's Carlos Boozer and the hit-your-neighbor's target-by-accident shooter, my mind is too bemused to offer more suggestions. In the basketball team's defense though, USA Olympic teams are pieced together from the collection of teams in the NBA- not players who have been playing together for aye- and this year's team is young with no top-of-the-heap stars. |