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BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!

20 Aug 04 - 04:04 AM (#1251693)
Subject: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

I think it's about time...


20 Aug 04 - 04:13 AM (#1251707)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: HRH ted of hull

hmmm..... do you mean all the political stuff?


20 Aug 04 - 04:20 AM (#1251713)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

Toilet creature shocks veteran plumber


After 23 years as a plumber and pipe fitter for General Motors Corp., LuAnn Crim thought she had seen just about everything that could end up in a toilet.

Then came that recent Sunday morning and a brand-new discovery ...

Crim was in the bathroom at her home in Perrinton, north of St. Johns. She had just combed her hair, applied a dab of lipstick and was adding a little eye makeup, when the water in a nearby toilet sloshed.

"That shouldn't be happening," Crim said to herself.

As if in reply, the water sloshed again.

"I looked in there," Crim wrote, "just as a very wet, bedraggled, dark-colored ANIMAL swam up out of the toilet trap and scrambled to get out."

Just before she screamed, Crim thought: Sewer rat.

Only later did it occur to her that her house isn't connected to any sewer; it uses a septic system.

But at the moment when the toilet creature was struggling to join Crim in her bathroom she wasn't thinking clearly.

"I screamed again," she wrote. "And again."

A live one.

Then Crim slammed the lid, sought out her husband and told him there was a live animal in their toilet.

Animal, yes; rat, no. Crim's husband took a quick look and determined it was a red squirrel. Red squirrels are smaller than gray squirrels. This one, Crim said, was about 8 inches long.

Employing a bucket, a butterfly net and a serving tray, the Crims extracted the squirrel and released it outdoors.

"He will probably be in squirrel therapy for a lonnnggg time," Crim wrote.

They were then left to deal with the question of how the squirrel got into their toilet in the first place.

The investigation quickly led to a 3-inch PVC vent pipe that went from the toilet's drain to the roof of the house.

It didn't have a cap on it.

It does now.


20 Aug 04 - 04:22 AM (#1251714)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: John MacKenzie

I hope he means all these vacuous threads headed 'Is xxxxxx shite'. I'm sure that the BS posts were more intelligent when they were part of the main listing. Mind you it would be hard for some of them to be less intelligent!
Giok


20 Aug 04 - 04:26 AM (#1251719)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

Maybe we can keep all the Shite in one thread...

No, that hasn't worked...

Well, maybe I can keep all my Shite in one thread...

To each his own...


20 Aug 04 - 06:01 AM (#1251766)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: McGrath of Harlow

That's called "constipation"...


20 Aug 04 - 06:32 AM (#1251780)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Big Al Whittle

oh I had a golden thread...freudian gold


20 Aug 04 - 06:49 AM (#1251792)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: s6k

a lot of the is xxxxx shite threads are actually asking for peoples opinions on the matter in hand.

IT is a BS SECTION go with the flow!


20 Aug 04 - 06:50 AM (#1251795)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: s6k

also = this is a music thread not politics thread.... so we need a new thread called

Politics MUST BE STOPPED


20 Aug 04 - 07:14 AM (#1251819)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Dave Hanson

Speaking as a plumber, it might be shit to you, but it's our bread and butter.
eric


20 Aug 04 - 07:40 AM (#1251836)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: John MacKenzie

Why can't the word rubbish be used then? It is infantile to delight in using rude words just for the sake of it. If you want an intelligent answer, I suggest you ask an intelligent question.
Giok


20 Aug 04 - 07:52 AM (#1251843)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: McGrath of Harlow

Well, it'd be better if people used a bit of imagination rather than churning out clone threads - "rubbish", ""shite", "what X want" and so forth. But there's no way that can be imposed. Sometimes the clone threads can turn out better than they deserve.


20 Aug 04 - 08:35 AM (#1251866)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: s6k

why do people believe in rude or swear words? theyre just words, and invented probably by some fat bloke sat eating curry decided to invent swear words...

swear words / rude words are shite


20 Aug 04 - 08:38 AM (#1251869)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Bee-dubya-ell

The following post has absolutely no relevance to the argument that shite must be stopped, nor to any claims that _______ is shite. It's just an observation.

As we all know, the word "shite" is generally not used in the U.S. We Yanks use the word "shit". As far as I know, the two words are merely pronunciation variants and mean exactly the same thing.

Now, The Mudcat has an unstated editorial policy that "dirty" words are allowed in posts, but not in thread titles. They like to keep the opening page fairly inoffensive so casual visitors won't be immediately scared away. I can say "GW Bush is a fuckhead!" in a post, but if I entitle a thread "GW Bush is a Fuckhead!" it'll probably get deleted. And, in all likelihood, a post entitled "Is Grey Poupon Mustard Shit?" would be deleted or edited as well. But, a post entitled "Is Grey Poupon Mustard Shite?" will be allowed to slide. Why? Because most of the individuals who determine and enforce The Mudcat's editorial policies (Joe Offer and the "Joe Clones") are from the U.S. and "shite" is not a "dirty word" to American ears while "shit" is.


20 Aug 04 - 08:51 AM (#1251881)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: McGrath of Harlow

I think in the UK it's probably the other way round - "shite" has a more emphatic and therefore potentially offensive sound. But my impression is that people generally are a lot more relaxed about that kind of thing anyway than appears to be the case in the USA. Whether that's a good thing or not, I've no idea.

But my problem with these threads isn't the vocabulary, it's the mechanical way in which they get launched on us. If it was a string of "I really don't like XXX" threads, it'd be just as irritating.


20 Aug 04 - 09:48 AM (#1251950)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST,242

I think they offer some light relief amongst all the monotonous USA politics threads. You could almost write all the usual suspects posts for them. Predictability is the name of the game.

Then of course we have the religious threads, and altho some may be of slight interest, the majority are filled again the usual suspects, preaching the same old tosh.

Then of late we have the member bashing member posts..........and THESE ARE GETTING REALLY BORING/VINDICTIVE/PUERILE.

I am not saying shite is the answer, but it sure beats the hell out of the current nastiness that members are engaging in.

It's summer, lighten up.

Also I don't find the word SHITE offensive in the least.....fudgepacker on the other hand.


20 Aug 04 - 10:00 AM (#1251966)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: SINSULL

I had a similar encounter with a squirrel when I was a little girl. First let me set the stage: my mother could not understand why she could not potty train her otherwise normal daughter. Unbeknownst to her, my brothers had been filling my head with tales of alligators in the NYC sewer system...alligators which waited unseen beyond the bend in the toilet for small children who could be swept down the pipe in an instant. Little boys were safe. They couild stand far enough away and ewsxcape but little girls - well, we had to sit.

So, that summer, as usual, we vacationed in upstate New York in a little cabin with no indoor plumbing. My brothers had to walk me to the outhouse at night just before bedtime. They carried the flashlight. I was relieved that i didn't have to deal with hungry alligators and was very comfortable using this less than elegant two-holer. Unfortunately, this particular night, as I slammed the door and sat, I startled a squirrel who ran down one hole and tried to come up the other - the one I was sitting on. I shrieked thinking that land locked alligators had tracked me down and jumped and couldn't find the latch in the dark. My brothers couldn't open the door from the outside. And my parents came running ready to kill my brothers for teasing me. The squirrel and I ran out at the same time. I am not sure who was the most shaken. To this day, I look before I sit.


20 Aug 04 - 10:10 AM (#1251984)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST

242, if Brits don't like the American political threads, they don't have to read them.

The Brits and their kingdom (ie Australia, Canada, and NZ) dominate this forum above the line in the music threads (precious little about American folk or blues music anymore around here anymore), and the Americans below the line, especially in the political threads.

The music threads have become increasingly dull, largely because of the domination by a certain group of posters who insist on injecting their "humour" into virtually every thread that is a serious discussion, or abusively flaming the people who disagree with them.

So those who once frequented the music section, fled to the BS section. Now the eejits have followed them to the BS section, and because the forum is unmoderated, new members who love that sort of atmosphere are multiplying.

The majority, though not all, of the idiotic, repeat after me BS threads, are coming from the east side of the pond. There is also a large number of these inane BS threads coming from Canada.

I don't go into the inane threads and try and make them serious or spoil the lager lads laughs. So why can't the lager louts keep out of the political threads?


20 Aug 04 - 10:27 AM (#1252002)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST,242

Show me one USA political thread ruined by "lager louts." Actually show mw a couple , seeing as it is apparently such a large problem here.


20 Aug 04 - 10:35 AM (#1252012)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: s6k

To GUEST. if brits dont like political threads dont read them.
Well if people dont like SHITE threads, DONT READ THEM.

it is a BS section, for bullshit, non music posts... and thats what happens down there


20 Aug 04 - 10:38 AM (#1252019)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST

Ah, the great irony of the biggest jerks being offended when told they are jerks and to bugger off.


20 Aug 04 - 10:52 AM (#1252046)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Dave Bryant

A diet of boiled eggs and Kaolin and Morphine medication should suffice. Failing that, try some of Essex Girl's Bread Pudding - should work from either end.


20 Aug 04 - 01:07 PM (#1252217)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: s6k

GUEST must be stopped!


20 Aug 04 - 10:36 PM (#1252696)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Peace

"I don't go into the inane threads and try and make them serious or spoil the lager lads laughs. So why can't the lager louts keep out of the political threads?"

And who are you?


20 Aug 04 - 11:58 PM (#1252743)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

"Speaking as a plumber, it might be shit to you, but it's our bread and butter."

Life is like a shit sandwich - lots of shit between a couple of thin bits of bread!


21 Aug 04 - 04:16 AM (#1252836)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Dave Hanson

No Robin, it's ' the less bread you got, the more shit you've got to eat '
eric


21 Aug 04 - 04:17 AM (#1252837)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Strollin' Johnny

GUEST - go back to school old lad. Our 'Kingdom' encompasses England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland ONLY. It does NOT include Australia, Canada, New Zealand or any other country than the aforementioned four.

Australia, Canada, New Zealand and many others, too numerous to name, are proud members of THE COMMONWEALTH. It's a community of Nations, not a 'Kingdom'.


21 Aug 04 - 11:27 AM (#1252912)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST

Actually, the proper word for it is EMPIRE, and the Brits and Canadians in particular, are acting like the arrogant imperial louts they are, eh?


21 Aug 04 - 04:00 PM (#1252989)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: John MacKenzie

It was an empire guest, but no longer. Still your history is more up to date than your sentiment.
Giok


21 Aug 04 - 04:01 PM (#1252990)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Peace

GUEST,

Speaking for myself as a Canadian, you SHOULD go back to school you TWIT. Empires officiate in baseball games.

Well said, Foolestroupe, my buddy from down under from your buddy from up over.

PLAY BALL. Jose, can you see?


21 Aug 04 - 11:17 PM (#1253207)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

"Jose, can you see by the donzerly light?"

I used to have more words than this, but I lost the file.

I also had other oronyms too, especially 'The Anguish Laguish'.

In speech it is impossible to tell where one word ends and the next begins. The seamlessness of speech is apparent in 'oronyms', strings of sound that can be carved into words in different ways.

And so we get Mondegreens...

There is a well-known poem called 'Eye Halve a Spelling Chequer' (I Have a Spelling Checker) that is written almost entirely with homophones (words, or strings of words, that sound alike). It could be considered an oronym poem - it has been posted here on Mudcat several times...

WARNING! PUT YOUR COFFEE DOWN!


EMPTY YOUR MOUTH BEFORE CONTINUING!


MAKE SURE FLOOR IS CLEAR OF POTENTIALLY DAMAGING OBSTACLES!



But the best tribute is perhaps An Oronym Story titled – Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. I have NOT attempted to run this thru my ieSpell™ Spelling Checker that I normally use when typing in Web entry boxes!


It is the tale of Little Red Riding Hood... but not the famous version; this one is constructed entirely from homophones: Ladle Rat Rotten Hut. This curious version was written in 1940 by a professor of French named H. L. Chace. He wanted to show his students that intonation is an integral part of the meaning of language. Try reading it out loud (best in the accent of Southern/Central USA)!


YOU WERE WARNED!

Wants pawn term, dare worsted ladle gull hoe lift wetter murder inner ladle cordage, honor itch offer lodge, dock, florist. Disk ladle gull orphan worry putty ladle rat cluck wetter ladle rat hut, an fur disk raisin pimple colder Ladle Rat Rotten Hut.

Wan moaning, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut's murder colder inset. "Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, heresy ladle basking winsome burden barter an shirker cockles. Tick disk ladle basking tutor cordage offer groinmurder hoe lifts honor udder site offer florist. Shaker lake! Dun stopper laundry wrote! Dun stopper peck floors! Dun daily-doily inner florist, an yonder nor sorghum-stenches, dun stopper torque wet strainers!"

"Hoe-cake, murder," resplendent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut, an tickle ladle basking an stuttered oft. Honor wrote tutor cordage offer groin-murder, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut mitten anomalous woof. "Wail, wail, wail!" set disk wicket woof, "Evanescent Ladle Rat Rotten Hut! Wares are putty ladle gull goring wizard ladle basking?"

"Armor goring tumor groin-murder's," reprisal ladle gull. "Grammar's seeking bet. Armor ticking arson burden barter an shirker cockles."

"O hoe! Heifer gnats woke," setter wicket woof, butter taught tomb shelf, "Oil tickle shirt court tutor cordage offer groin-murder. Oil ketchup wetter letter, an den - O bore!"

Soda wicket woof tucker shirt court, an whinney retched a cordage offer groin-murder, picked inner windrow, an sore debtor pore oil worming worse lion inner bet. En inner flesh, disk abdominal woof lipped honor bet, paunched honor pore oil worming, an garbled erupt. Den disk ratchet ammonol pot honor groin-murder's nut cup an gnat-gun, any curdled ope inner bet.

Inner ladle wile, Ladle Rat Rotten Hut a raft attar cordage, an ranker dough ball. "Comb ink, sweat hard," setter wicket woof, disgracing is verse. Ladle Rat Rotten Hut entity betrum an stud buyer groin~murder's bet.

"O Grammar!" crater ladle gull historically, "Water bag icer gut! A nervous sausage bag ice!"

"Battered lucky chew whiff, sweat hard," setter bloat-Thursday woof, wetter wicket small honors phase.

"O Grammar, water bag noise! A nervous sore suture anomolous prognosis!"

"Battered small your whiff, doling," whiskered dole woof, ants mouse worse waddling.

"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"

Daze worry on-forger-nut ladle gull's lest warts. Oil offer sodden, caking offer carvers an sprinkling otter bet, disk hoard hoarded woof lipped own pore Ladle Rat Rotten Hut an garbled erupt.

Mural: Yonder nor sorghum stenches shut ladle gulls stopper torque wet strainers.


Tea And

~~~~


22 Aug 04 - 02:58 AM (#1253267)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Dave Hanson

bread and butter


22 Aug 04 - 03:01 AM (#1253270)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Strollin' Johnny

GUEST - go back to school old lad. It's not an Empire - the Empire ceased to exist around the middle of the last century. Its the COMMONWEALTH, it's a community of nations in which all are equal, NOT an Empire (in which they would all be ruled, to a greater or lesser degree) by one.

SJ :0)


22 Aug 04 - 04:12 AM (#1253289)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Georgiansilver

Common wealth....get it guest COMMONWEALTH... as Strollin' says the Empire as such ceased to exist during Victorias reign. At one time the rule of Sovereignty was paramount in the "control" of the countries in the Empire. British Royalty no longer rules them...Our queen is merely a figurehead and all those Countries are under their own rule.
Best wishes.


22 Aug 04 - 04:55 AM (#1253301)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

... theoretically, that is. In Australia, we still have the Queen (of England) as Head of State, and it wasn't all that long ago that we still had "God Save The Queen" as our national Anthem...

Robin
"O Grammar, water bag mouser gut! A nervous sore suture bag mouse!"


22 Aug 04 - 11:06 AM (#1253451)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Gervase

At least the Shite threads advertise themselves as such, and they help keep the Hull kindergarten team's fingers occupied, thus preventing too much leakage into other threads.
Speaking as a Brit, at least the Yanks' political threads have a level of discourse that rises above the rim of the lavatory bowl. Whereas the inanities that seem to float down the Humber...
And what really gets my goat (oh bollox, he's losing it now. Nurse!) is that such crap is usually prefixed with "If you ask me..." Well I don't. And I never would. I've been known to get off buses and bloody well walk to avoid the sort of vacuous drivel that fills such threads.
But there's sod-all that any of us can do about it. Like the poor, the stupid are always with us. All we can do is leave them to one end of the pond and let them muddy it as they see fit, and perhaps they'll leave the rest alone.


(Just spotted the ads at the bottom of the page, by the way - "DIY Pest Control" and "Electronic Pest Control". Lovely!)


22 Aug 04 - 05:25 PM (#1253754)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: The Fooles Troupe

Non-Poisonous Rodent Bait ?? eh?


23 Aug 04 - 09:38 AM (#1254441)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: Rapparee

Actually, there's a bird in the US called (by some) the "Shitepoke."


23 Aug 04 - 09:44 AM (#1254445)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST

Its funny how the offensiveness of swear words can vary so much depending on where you come from. A friend of mine was once shocked to hear me say "Bugger off" which is very mild where i come from, but really shocked her. After discussion we found that of 3 common sweary expressions (Fuck off, Piss off, Bugger off), I found that list to decrease in offensiveness and she found it to decrease!


23 Aug 04 - 09:46 AM (#1254449)
Subject: RE: BS: Shite MUST BE STOPPED!
From: GUEST

er I mean she found it to increase.