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07 Sep 04 - 10:06 PM (#1266458) Subject: BS: Older But Better From: Jerry Rasmussen This getting old stuff is a new experience for me. Never done it before. Most people think of getting old because of all that you lose: hair, a waist line, teeth, memory. Your kids move away, as do friends; family members die... all sorts of unpleasant stuff. You forget how to use punctuation properly. All that is true and must be dealt with. But, that's just one side of the coin. There is a lot that you gain as you get older. Wisdom is kinda patchy, because I find that I still do stupid things I should know better not to. Maybe the best thing you gain (if you're lucky) as you get older is appreciation. Not everyone does, of course. Some folks just get more cantankerous. One thing I think I appreciate more is a good friend. Good friends are hard to find, so it's important to appreciate them when you do. And, as your health gets a little dicey, you start to appreciate what you have left. Another good thing about getting older is that it can become easier to accept your limitations. Reality is good at teaching you that. There are many other high-mileage models here on Mudcat. In what ways is your life getting better? Jerry |
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07 Sep 04 - 10:40 PM (#1266475) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Amos One thing I have learned is to remember that getting older is the WHOLE IDEA!! They do say you never stop learning, and that's all well and good; but when you stop getting older, you have discovered the Undesirable Alternative of all undesirable alternatives!! It's probably not as bad as it is cracked up to be, but that's no reason to rush, is it? I'll just keep on getting older and be glad for the chance! A |
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07 Sep 04 - 10:49 PM (#1266479) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Bill D "From here on up the hills don't get any higher--- But the valleys get deeper and deeper." I think that I have better 'perspective' than I used to, or than most under 45 do, and that can be positive...or it can be quite discouraging...*wry grin* Entropy will get you if you don't watch out! ...in fact, entropy will get you if you DO watch out |
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07 Sep 04 - 11:07 PM (#1266494) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: katlaughing I posted a while back about the long serving mayor in the US, who'd just died. He was in his 90's and had served for 56, I think it was, as Mayor of Beaver, PA. When anyone asked him how he was in later years, he would say, "Gettin' better with age!" kat |
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07 Sep 04 - 11:25 PM (#1266508) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Bobert Well, Jerry, ain't no doubt that the mind is still on the way up. Unfortunately, the body isn't in step with the mind??? Oh well. I'll take the aches and pains... They're worth it... Bobert |
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07 Sep 04 - 11:32 PM (#1266513) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: mack/misophist Except for not needing to go to work every day, my life hasn't changed all that much. Lost weight instead of gaining it, men in my family don't go bald, the punctuation is leaving me, however. Not that my grasp of it was ever that firm. |
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08 Sep 04 - 12:04 AM (#1266526) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: GUEST,peedeecee I know I'll probably get this wrong, and not remember who proposed the theory, but I've always loved it. The theory goes: we come from the great beyond (Wordsworth said we are born "trailing clouds of glory") and fall, as complete souls, into the physical body. The soul diminishes as the body grows and performs all that is required of it. Around middle age, as the body starts to diminish, the soul reawakens (we call it wisdom), and as the body deteriorates, the soul expands, preparing us again for the great beyond, to which we will return. I didn't express it very well, I'm afraid. Heard it years ago; all I remember was it came from a very early Italian philosopher. I like the fact that there is compensation in middle and old life for our diminishing physicality. |
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08 Sep 04 - 01:37 AM (#1266548) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: jacqui.c From observation it appears that peoples' characters become more pronounced as they get older. Maybe that's because they've had longer to practice. I rather like being older - less responsibilities and more of an excuse to do crazy things on the basis that there's less time left to fulfil possible dreams. I'll put up with the aches and pains and all that for the flip side. |
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08 Sep 04 - 02:22 AM (#1266555) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Teresa Well, I am not "old", relatively speaking, but I am older than I was twenty years ago, and I notice it. Mostly I feel more canny, more solid, and a little wiser. even though I know life is unpredictable, I also know I have deep roots in it, and I am more resilient than I used to be. But I hope never to give up my sense of wonder. It would be great to have that sense of earthiness, combined with a childlike sense of discovery. :) I know elders like that, and I want to be like them as I continue to get older. :) T |
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08 Sep 04 - 02:46 AM (#1266561) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: MBSLynne I used to be terrified of getting old, so I decided not to do it. I can do and enjoy all the things that I always did, but now I know more, I enjoy them even more! The way to avoid getting old is to do at least one totally mad, fun thing at least once a week. (And if you can make your kids say "Stop it Mum!" you are doing a good job!) Love Lynne |
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08 Sep 04 - 03:08 AM (#1266572) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: katlaughing peedeecee, you expressed it quite well and I thank you for it! Lynne, you are so right! No waiting 'til we are old to wear purple and red hats, eh? |
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08 Sep 04 - 03:57 AM (#1266586) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Georgiansilver The reality of course is that life and time moves on at some unstoppable rate which "seems" to get faster as we get older. I took retirement early last year (ie January 2003) and looked forward to some great times with family....In October, my wife decided she did not want me around and I again found myself on my own. Since then I have been involved in the five peaks challenge...helped start a gun club for target shooting. Returned to Folk singing/songwriting after an 18 yr break. Writing Poetry after 15yr break and getting it published. Work voluntary in a drop in Centre. Met friends through Friends Re-united, who I have not seen for some 30-40 years. Found the Mudcat!!!!! Worked at getting fitter and generally lived a more active life than I was when with my family. I see it that I have to enjoy every minute of my life or what is left of it and will work to that end. Much wiser now and with a little less physical ability....but I intend to use it to the full. Last year I felt miserable...this year my cup runneth over. Life is what you make it folks, whatever your age. Best wishes. |
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08 Sep 04 - 04:01 AM (#1266588) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: fat B****rd I agree/empathise with all of the above. I find many, many new things to learn, look at and listen to. My life is precious to me and I try not to waste a second. |
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08 Sep 04 - 04:06 AM (#1266591) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: mooman What is "old"? It's a concept I never really think about. Peace moo |
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08 Sep 04 - 04:35 AM (#1266605) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Liz the Squeak Less than a week away from hitting 40, feeling decidedly fragile and unwell, I'm not sure I am getting better. Hopefully I'm not going to either. I totally agree with MBSLynne, and having now associated the face with the name, have been in agreement with her for several years! I regularly do things that make Limpit despair; I ride on the trolleys in the supermarket (better than some 24yr olds who fall off it.... you know who you are!), I play Poohsticks when I can, wear purple whenever I want (especially my Chocolate Tshirt, thanks Sorcha), and I have a rainbow hat with matching trousers and sarong. Better is not necessarily more mature. Mature is not necessarily better. LTS |
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08 Sep 04 - 04:42 AM (#1266609) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: mooman Liz! You're just a baby! I'm 52 and ride on supermarket trolleys, walk along the top of walls and rattle sticks or brollys along railings...! Peace moo |
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08 Sep 04 - 05:28 AM (#1266638) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: greg stephens 1) I get more forgetful, but I get wiser and wiser to compensate. 2) Playing tunes slower is the best way to do it. Each year I get more and more convinced of this. 3) In the old days I knew all the gigs I had booked for the next year, and I would worry about them. Now I havent the slightest recollection where(or if) I am playing tomorrow, so it doesnt worry me in the least. 4) Life is a lot cheaper, it used to cost me a lot to get drunk, now a couple of pints is more than enough. 5) There seem to be a lot more women about to look at these days. All in all, I'd say things are improving greatly. |
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08 Sep 04 - 05:52 AM (#1266650) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Wolfgang When some idiot wants to overtake me within the 200 m to the next red light to be first there I don't any longer make a risky manoevre just to prevent him doing that. I shrug the shoulders and say "Well, if you really need that..." The ability to enjoy moments without restlessness has increased. Wolfgang |
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08 Sep 04 - 06:10 AM (#1266654) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: mooman As always, Wolfgang speaks the truth...! The ability to enjoy moments without restlessness has increased. And here (third photo down) is the irrefutable proof! (;>) Peace moo |
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08 Sep 04 - 06:16 AM (#1266655) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: mooman And here again! (:>o) (;>) Peace moo |
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08 Sep 04 - 07:26 AM (#1266681) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: MBSLynne Damn! And I thought it was only me who rode on supermarket trolleys! Rolling down grass banks is good fun too.....and singing in the street so that people stare at you (My son and I do that and my daughter goes off in a huff 'cos she's embarassed!) And smiling at everyone who catches your eye when you are out shopping and dancing to any music that is around wherever you happen to be and running when it's windy and paddling and skimming stones and going down BIG slides and bouncing on bouncy castles.........etc There must be a good song in there somewhere about how not to grow old! LTS....are you at Banbury and/or Bedworth? Perhaps we can be young together? Love Lynne |
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08 Sep 04 - 10:07 AM (#1266762) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Stilly River Sage Mooman, to be fair, as I skipped through some of those other photos Wolfgang was awake in a few. :) Having just passed my 50th earlier this week, I feel pretty good about the entire process. On an elemental level, having survived a life-threatening illness, just being here to celebrate trumps any silliness about having turned a corner numerologically. I'm only a few days older than when I was still 49. SRS |
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08 Sep 04 - 10:21 AM (#1266771) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Bill D on MY 50th, I stood on my head while folks recited "You are old, Father William"...it was such a hit, I did it again on my 55th. By my 60th, my doctor had ruled it out, due to neck problems, but there was something special about being able to do that when others much younger couldn't... I STILL can sit in a full lotus, though it ain't comfortable anymore... |
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08 Sep 04 - 10:29 AM (#1266783) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Amos Our warehouse store has a big ramp leading from the door to the parking lot, which has a fine angle to it for riding the back of the cart and steering with one sho (dragging left or right as required). I don't think age of the body has much to do with it. A |
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08 Sep 04 - 10:35 AM (#1266789) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Deckman I'm so old that it takes me all night to do what I used to do all night ... except that now I enjoy it more! (I know, I know ... I'll get my golashes and leave by the back door) CHEERS, Bob |
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08 Sep 04 - 10:47 AM (#1266799) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Jerry Rasmussen Look what you folks hat created! Damn! Makes the youngsters think that maybe they're missing out on something. And they are. I thought the 50's were great, but they can't compare with the 60's. I'm talking years, folks, not calendar decades. Many, many years ago I did a memorable evening of music for one of the smallest audiences I've ever performed for. As a matter of fact, the first person didn't show up until ten minutes after I was supposed to start. There were 8 people in all, and everyone sat with five or six empty seats between them. Calling it an audience was a gross exageration in itself. I don't ever remember working harder to draw people together, but in time, I felt that I was singing to a group of people, not isolated individuals. When I finished my last song, everyone came up to talk and one man said "all night long we've been talking about the cycle of life." I thought it was an amazing comment, especially as he used the word "we" instead of "you." He gave the same perception of the "cycle of life." He said that when we are young, we concern ourselves with physical activities... sports, work, sex. As we age and our bodies start to slow down, we become more aware of our spiritual life. The man felt that the greatest tragedy in life is when someone dies before they've had the chance to fully experience their spiritual side. When people are young, they are the Loin King and Loiness. It's not until we have lived a full life before we discover the full power and beauty of love, which is as much spiritual as it is physical. Love ceases to be a "performance" and becomes a sharing. A spiritual as much as a physical union. My definition of "old" has always been "ten years older than me." I don't have any intention of ever changing that definition. Jerry |
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08 Sep 04 - 10:52 AM (#1266800) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Mary in Kentucky I enjoy being a kid again with my granddaughters. It's a little harder to play "horsie" and fall down in "ring around the rosie," but it sure is fun. At least I have the advantage of being a little smarter (or more cunning) and can trick them into doing all the running around. (as in "5 little ducks went out to play...waaaaaaaaay over the meadow......and waaaaaaaay far away...") For safety's sake I have to remember that I probably couldn't dive into the pond and save them if they fell in, or run all the way to the highway if they darted out of sight. But then I fooled myself several weeks ago when a friend's small child was headed toward a moving truck, and I actually ran pretty fast across the yard! Getting older has given me the "permission" to enjoy naps. (Evidently Wolfgang has mastered that already.) ;-) |
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08 Sep 04 - 11:07 AM (#1266808) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: katlaughing How old would you be, if you didn't know how old you were? Ruth Gordon |
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08 Sep 04 - 11:23 AM (#1266823) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: SINSULL 14 and counting... For my 50th, I went outside and "disciplined" a group of unruly preteens who were trampling the gardens while having a water gun fight. They all stood sheepishly embarrassed - Mary NEVER got angry at the kids unless it was a horrible infringement. Then when they least expected it, I pulled a super blaster from under my jacket and doused them all. Given the alternative, I would rather get old. |
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08 Sep 04 - 01:05 PM (#1266888) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Charley Noble Now there's the other side that Utah Philips used to sing of in "All Used Up," those who are so worn out by the daily grind of the market economy that they have little energy left. But even then, Utah dreams of sitting under a tree and singing songs to a few children if I remember that right. I do feel sorry for those I call the prematurely old, those MBA's in their late 20's who are frantically pursueing their climb on the ladder to success. As I've grown older I take satisfaction in having so many interesting memories, and the feeling that I have energy enough to create a few new ones. Charley Noble |
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08 Sep 04 - 02:00 PM (#1266925) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: GUEST,Donuel I never could sit in a full lotus so I suppose there is much I will never miss in old age. Having a 4 year old doesn't give me much time to worry about it. |
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08 Sep 04 - 02:40 PM (#1266971) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: wysiwyg Well, I dunno if I am getting wiser or people are merely catching up and can now see what I might have tried to tell them. In the early 80's I stopped sitting still for "pick-on-Susan" crap around the family holiday dinner time. My sister would rant away that I HAD to stay at the table, this is a FAMILY DAY! I'd go read till I felt like coming out again. So last week, she calls me up-- "You know how sometimes you just aren't available to be involved in an upset? Like the time you xxxx or the time you xxxxxxxx..... How did you DO that? I need to learn how!" A workplace situation was suddenly apparent to her as an old, old replay she was falling for each time it came around again. So I told her how. LOL-- in another coupla years it will probably sink in! The older I get, actually, the more I realize I don't know, and the less I care that people know I don't know things. I do know one or two things, tho, and people seem to keep coming to me to hear about them, even if they don't believe me till later if at all. And I think I am learning when to not waste my time telling people things they are not ready to hear, and how to spot readiness better. Cuz asking me stuff doesn't equal being ready. But I could be wrong. :~) ~Susan |
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08 Sep 04 - 02:50 PM (#1266986) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: PoppaGator At age 56, I still experience myself as the same guy I was at about 25. Until 25, I was more conscious of growing and changing than I have been ever since, certainly more concerned about what I might later become. (I no longer worry about becoming anything much different from what I already am -- I'm *open* to learning and developing, of course, but not especially concerned about it.) My conclusion is that 25 must be a "peak" or "ideal" age some kinda way. Opinions differ, of course. I remember in a recent thread on "non-monetary tips received by buskers," reading of a religious tract about the afterlife that someone pressed upon one of our streetsinging members. According to that particular authority, everyone in Heaven is thirty years old -- including, I assume, even those poor souls who died as babies. So maybe 30 is the age that a spiritually healthy individual always imagines him/herself to be... |
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08 Sep 04 - 03:45 PM (#1267021) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Jerry Rasmussen If I have to be 30 when I go to Heaven, I ain't goin'! :-) Jerry |
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08 Sep 04 - 03:55 PM (#1267034) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: wysiwyg Well if I had to have my diapers changed there, I wouldn't go either! Nor if I had to change others'! ~S~ |
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08 Sep 04 - 06:08 PM (#1267140) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: DougR Mooman: you failed to mention that Kerry also attended the gathering. There's his picture, right with group #4 (I believe). Wonder if he was over there confering with Schroeder? :>) dougR |
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08 Sep 04 - 08:02 PM (#1267209) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: kendall I don't feel any different than when I was 30.. except when I try to run. (Bob Newhart) |
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09 Sep 04 - 04:00 AM (#1267402) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: mooman I didn't realise he played the squeezebox either Doug! (;>). An appropriate instrument (lots of hot air) for any politician really! Peace moo |
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09 Sep 04 - 11:55 PM (#1268233) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: dick greenhaus The best thing I can say about growing older is that it beats hell out of the alternative. |
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10 Sep 04 - 12:53 AM (#1268255) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: catspaw49 YA' KNOW.........Sorry Jerry, I put the best possible spin on things most of the time, but the reality for me is that this "older but better" stuff is bullshit. Perhaps I loved those younger years way too much and selfishly did what I pleased. The knowledge that I have growing limitations which preclude me from ever doing many of those things again is frankly depressing! Spaw |
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10 Sep 04 - 03:59 AM (#1268339) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: GUEST,Clint Keller Well, getting back to the first post, I seem to be getting more appreciative and more cantankerous both. Interesting. clint |
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10 Sep 04 - 09:57 AM (#1268569) Subject: RE: BS: Older But Better From: Jerry Rasmussen Spaw: One of the real limitations of Older But Better is one's health. Not being able to run fast anymore isn't a particularly serious limitation for me, because I have fewer people chasing me now. If my eyesight isn't as good, it just means a change in prescriptions. But, it's another story if health problems limit your ability to get around, to see or do the simple things that we can still enjoy as we get older. A friend of ours woke up one morning, blind. Actually, I don't know whether she woke up that way, but one day she could see and the next day she was blind. I'd never even seen her wear glasses. She was in her early 90's... she's in her mid-90's, now, living alone and had just lost her husband. On top of that, she had very little money and was afraid she would lose her house. Up until she went blind, she'd still been fairly active... couldn't drive and didn't have any family, but plenty of friends got her around town. I'm sure if I'd been stupid enough to ask her if she was older but better, she would have clipped me about the head and ears with her cane, if she could have found me. Fast forward another year, when all hope of an operation to correct the problem had disappeared. When we'd go to visit her, she had a radiant, sincere, smile to light up the room and she always talked very positively. Still does, although now the rest of her health is fading. If I'd asked her a year after she went blind if she was older but better, I think she would most likely have answered, "it's very hard not being able to see, but I am thankful that otherwise I am still blessed with good health, and I have mostly good days." That would be a realistic answer for her. She was thankful for what she still had. A few months ago, my Mother fell in her apartment and broke her collar bone, her shoulder, two ribs in her lower back, her hip and a vertebrae in her lower back. This happened just before her 97th birthday. She was in such pain, and the likelihood of her ever being able to live on her own again was so remote, she just wanted to die. But, she persevered through therapy so painful she screamed, because she wanted to enjoy her 97th birthday when my wife and I came out to visit. And she did. She was able to get out in a wheel chair, most of the pain was gone, and we ran ourselves ragged taking her out. Now, another six weeks later, the pain is gone completely, she's comfortably back in her apartment, can walk without a walker and is busily making plans for her 98th birthday. If I asked her today if she is older but better, I believe she'd answer "yes." She doesn't just remember the good times in the past. She remembers all the painful memories, too. She sees the good in her life, the friends that love her and a close family, and even though my Father died seven years ago, on balance, I think she's see enough things that are better that she'd answer "yes" to the question. The thread isn't "Is Older Better?" That's far too subjective to answer. In some ways it is, and in some ways it isn't. The question is, Are YOU older but better. I believe that most people, even the woman who went blind could answer that in some ways SHE is better. Her life may be more limited, but she has found strength in coming through her trials. So, buddy, isn't there anything in yourself that you see is better as you get older? Do you have any more patience? Do you appreciate the little things in life that would have been over your head when you were younger and engrossed in your own pleasure? Do you appreciate friendships more, or your family? Are you thankful for anything? No, this thread is not bullshit. It's a positive way at looking at what we've gained as we've gotten older. There could be another thread on what we've lost. That would be as realistic as this one. Jerry |