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26 Oct 04 - 07:21 PM (#1308098) Subject: BS: Kittens... From: red_clay "Kerry and Edwards are taking a stroll around Capitol Hill when he meets a little girl carrying a small basket with a blanket over it. Curiously, Kerry asks the girl, "What's in the basket?" She replies, "New baby kittens," and she opens the basket to show him. "How nice" says Kerry. "What kind are they?" The little girl says, "Democrats." Kerry smiles and pats the little girl on the head, and they continue on. About three weeks later, Kerry, walking around Capitol Hill with another Congressional colleague, sees the same little girl again with the same basket. Kerry says to his colleague, "Watch this; it's very cute". As they approach the little girl. Kerry asks the girl, "How are the kittens?" She says, "Fine." He then asks, "Again, what kind of kittens are they?" This time she replies, "Republicans." Somewhat abashed, Kerry says, "Three weeks ago you said they were Democrats!" "I know," she says, "But now their eyes are open." |
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26 Oct 04 - 07:27 PM (#1308104) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Liz the Squeak HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! FINALLY - a political story I can read all through without wanting to puke! LTS |
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26 Oct 04 - 07:29 PM (#1308106) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: red_clay get a life,lizzzzzzzzzzzzz!!! |
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26 Oct 04 - 07:30 PM (#1308108) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Peace Ah, yes, Republicans: Those who stand with both feet firmly planted in midair. |
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26 Oct 04 - 07:50 PM (#1308125) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Amos Jeeze, red-clay, that joke is about as old as the Grand Canyon -- it was told thirty or forty years ago about Methodists, I think. |
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26 Oct 04 - 07:51 PM (#1308127) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: beardedbruce brucie, As opposed to Democrtats, who have both feet in their mouths? |
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26 Oct 04 - 07:54 PM (#1308131) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Blissfully Ignorant Argh...*choke...cough* politics...overdose... get me an ...... amb...u...lance.....help. |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:06 PM (#1308143) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Sorcha Kittens are evil but they are so cute we love them anyway. |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:09 PM (#1308148) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: mack/misophist Old or new, red_clay (Adam?) may be forgiven because it is funny. But he got it wrong. This is the real story: "George W and Cheney are taking a stroll around Capitol Hill when they meet a little girl carrying a small basket with a blanket over it. Curiously, Kerry asks the girl, "What's in the basket?" She replies, "New baby kittens," and she opens the basket to show him. "How nice" says Cheney. "What kind are they?" The little girl says, "Republicans." Cheney smiles and pats the little girl on the head, and they continue on. About three weeks later, George W and Cheney, walking around Capitol Hill with a Congressional colleague, sees the same little girl again with the same basket. Cheney says to the colleague, "Watch this; it's very cute". As they approach the little girl. Cheney asks the girl, "How are the kittens?" She says, "Fine." He then asks, "Again, what kind of kittens are they?" This time she replies, "Democrats." Somewhat abashed, Cheney says, "Three weeks ago you said they were Republicans!" "I know," she says, "But now their eyes are open." Note that George W is on top of things, as usual. |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:45 PM (#1308177) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Peace beardedbruce: Say it with a sonnet. |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:48 PM (#1308179) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Peace beardedbruce: I neglected to answer you. Yes! |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:51 PM (#1308180) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: beardedbruce brucie, I thought your out-of-line one-liner deserved mine, actually. Is this an example of the creativity of Democrats, to just reverse the names, but do exactly what the Republicans do? I find that it is amusing, the first time, whit either side- but, when just repeated with the names changed becomes foolish. Sorry, mack.misophist- this time you lose. |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:54 PM (#1308186) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Peace beardedbruce--this THREAD is outta line. Don't even fuckin' THINK of lecturing me. You take some of this shit way too seriously. Vote. We'll see who's cryin' on November 3, 2004. I live in Canada. We have our own headaches. Take your pedantic crap and store it. I find the tone of too many remarks from you very condescending. You really piss me off at times, and this is one of them. You can't make nice then fuck you. |
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26 Oct 04 - 08:55 PM (#1308187) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Blissfully Ignorant Ach, they're all a bunch of incompetent green-handed fools. Personally, i'd rather have the kittens in charge. |
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26 Oct 04 - 09:04 PM (#1308193) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Jack the Sailor While we are doing presidential humor. The following is taken directly from Bob Woodward's book "Plan of Attack" a book that is recommended by the Bush White House. On Wednesday January 10, ten days before the inaugation, Bush, Cheney, Rumsfeld, Rice and Colin Powell, went to the Pentagon to meet with (Clinton secretary of defense William) Cohen. Afterward, Bush and his team went downstairs to the Tank, the secure domain and meeting room for the Joint Chiefs of staff. Bush sauntered in like Cool Hand Luke, flapping his arms slightly, cocky but seeming also ill at ease. .... ....President-elect Bush asked some practical questions about how things worked, but he did not offer or hint at his desires. The JCS staff had placed a peppermint at each place. Bush unwrapped his and plopped it into his mouth. Later he eyed Cohen's mint and flashed a pantomine query, Do you want that? Cohen signaled no, so Bush reached over and took it. Near the end of the hour-and-a-quarter briefing, the chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Army General Henry "Hugh" Shelton, noticed Bush eyeing his mint, so he passed it over. Cheney listened but he was tired and closed his eyes, conspicuously nodding off several times. Rumsfeld, who was sitting at a far end of the table, paid close attention though he kept asking the briefers to please speak up, or please speak louder. "We're off to a great start," one of the cheifs commented privately to a colleague after the session. "The vice president fell asleep and the secretary of defense can't hear." |
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26 Oct 04 - 10:06 PM (#1308220) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Bill D so...I remember this one from my childhood,...a few years ago..*grin* I politican...let's call him 'Bush', for the current joke, is giving a stump speech, but a heckler has sneaked in despite the usual efforts to screen everyone. Every so often, as 'Bush' pauses for breath, the heckler shouts, "I'm a Democrat!".......well, this goes on, and finally 'Bush' glares down and asks, "and just what makes you a Democrat?" The guy shouts: "My Grand-daddy was a Democrat, my Daddy was a Democrat, and by God, I'm a Democrat, too!" So 'Bush', thinking to point out the fellow's simplistic logic, asks, "and if your Grand-daddy and your daddy had both been jackasses, what would that make you?" Brightening, the guy replies: "A Republican!" jokes are cute, but there are so few new ones, and they prove nothing. |
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26 Oct 04 - 10:50 PM (#1308242) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Tannywheeler And part of the joke in the kitten story is that either side might tell it on each other. Might not work with BillD's story, tho'. Tw |
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26 Oct 04 - 11:04 PM (#1308253) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: beardedbruce I politican...let's call him 'Kerry', for the current joke, is giving a stump speech, but a heckler has sneaked in despite the usual efforts to screen everyone. Every so often, as 'Bush' pauses for breath, the heckler shouts, "I'm a Democrat!".......well, this goes on, and finally 'Kerry' glares down and asks, "and just what makes you a Republican?" The guy shouts: "My Grand-daddy was a Republican, my Daddy was a Republicn, and by God, I'm a Republican, too!" So 'Kerry', thinking to point out the fellow's simplistic logic, asks, "and if your Grand-daddy and your daddy had both been jackasses, what would that make you?" Brightening, the guy replies: "A Democrat!" Actually, seems to make more sense, given the party symbols... |
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26 Oct 04 - 11:06 PM (#1308256) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: beardedbruce sorry, missed one "Bush"... But these ara all generic jokes, to be used at the expense of any group/party that one does not like. I really think that we can do better.... Though they are Folklore, I would think- Guess it goes above the line! |
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27 Oct 04 - 12:56 AM (#1308324) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Jack the Sailor Here's a joke that only works one way. Don't missunderestimate the President. Here's another. John Kerry walks into a bar. Barkeep asks "Why the long face?" (rimshot) Kerry: Theresa is giving a speech to the DAR. (ba dump bump) |
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28 Oct 04 - 12:53 AM (#1309300) Subject: RE: BS: Kittens... From: Liz the Squeak And he says *I* should get a life! LTS |