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BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!

23 Mar 05 - 10:29 PM (#1442187)
Subject: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST,Koike Nishimura

A terrible and serious scandal has broken out in Japan. Secret documents have been discovered at Toho Studios, indicating that Godzilla repeatedly faked his own death in the famous monster movies! He did this as a way of increasing box office sales and public appetite for more movies. It was definitely tied in with criminal gangs and Yakuza as well, including "Boss Charlie" Sakura of the dreaded Tokyo Yakuza.

Godzilla's death was first faked at the conclusion of the history-making number one Godzilla film which astounded surprised audiences all over the world and went on to become the number one selling monster movie of all time. Godzilla was supposedly destroyed at the bottom of Tokyo harbour by a devastating secret technique machine which disintegrated him. This never happened!

Instead, it was just a bunch of ordinary fish that were semi-disintegrated by ordinary grinding machines. Further strange deaths were simulated in subsequent Godzilla films. He has died by being buried alive, by being frozen, by being burned up in a volcanoe, by being poisoned, by being catapulted into the sun, and by suffering an ingrown toenail. It turns out that NONE of these deaths actually occurred. While the public was mourning Godzilla's demise and burning candles in his memory, the shameless monster was cavorting with other well-known Japanese film monsters in a remote holiday spot in the Celebes called "Monster Island".

The repercussions of these impressively shocking and awful revelations are expected to cause tremendous distress and confusion in the Japanese film industry. Will Godzilla be able to bounce back from the shame of his exposure as a fraud? Will he be forced to commit the ultimate act of penance? No one knows for sure.

Godzilla has refused to talk to the press, and is sequestered on the grounds of Nijo Castle in Kyoto. One reporter who managed to sneak into the castle has reportedly been stepped on and then disintegrated with fiery atomic breath by Godzilla. This unfortunately resulted in the premature death of the reporter, "Sonny" Saito, who was a popular employee of Sankei Shinbun.

Everyone is now waiting with bated breath to see what startling and sudden emergency may arise next!


23 Mar 05 - 10:34 PM (#1442192)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST

So .... did Bambi, also, fake their's when meeting Godzilla?


23 Mar 05 - 10:50 PM (#1442198)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Bunnahabhain

The king is not dead! Long live the king! Godzilla, the king of monsters, that is. What else could come to mind...


23 Mar 05 - 10:53 PM (#1442200)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: robomatic

Hey:
Is this the Koike I used to know back at Stanford? Used to spell your name Koichi but Mrs. MacConnell called you Killjoy?
She didn't mind that you left with the towels and you never paid me back my parking expenses when I ran you to the airport.

I had a feeling you'd show up again, after a career as a salryman. Hope you found the sushi redhead of your dreams big guy.

Robo


23 Mar 05 - 10:56 PM (#1442202)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Once Famous

The hell with Godzilla.

Let's see the Mothra fairies naked.


23 Mar 05 - 11:02 PM (#1442203)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST,.gargoyle

Did godzilla kill Bambi?



Sincerley,

Gargoyle


23 Mar 05 - 11:05 PM (#1442207)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Once Famous

No Godzilla copulated with Bambi and gave birth to bobert.


23 Mar 05 - 11:13 PM (#1442218)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST,Koike Nishimura

I know nothing of you, Mr Robo Robomatic. Are you a super robot hero of some kind? You sound like one. I have not seen Stanford University but I had the honor to study for 3 years at CalTech.

I am now watching live coverage of the standoff outside Nijo Castle. Godzilla's lawyers are negotiating with the police and the press. Many helicopters are flying overhead with searchlights shining like probing eyes of giant dragons. It is stimulatingly dramatic and unusual. I wish to convey to the world audience the tension and full drama of this prestigious occasion as it is unfolding here in Kyoto.


Regarding Bambi. I have heard of the film in question, but it was not sanctioned by Godzilla. It was a pirated simulation of Godzilla by a foreign source. I have no knowledge of Godzilla attacking deers, but I would consider an attack on Bambi to be justifiable because Bambi represents a cultural slander. If Bambi had ever really met Godzilla, then I cannot promise what might happen.


23 Mar 05 - 11:16 PM (#1442222)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST

MARTIN-



PLEASE - What is the sequaeeeeeel....it should should be amuzing....and perhaps longer than its predesesor.


23 Mar 05 - 11:17 PM (#1442225)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Once Famous

Hey Koike

Do you like Ghidrah the 3 headed monster and that fucked up spinning turtle Gammorah? Who were the actors who played them?

Wouldn't want to be following Godzilla if he blows a fluffy.


23 Mar 05 - 11:32 PM (#1442232)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Azizi

Koike,

Bambi is not a scary Godzilla type figure.

He is a loveable little deer that is featured in an animated 1942 children's movie. One website provides this plot summary "Bambi grows up in the wild after his mother is shot by hunters. As Bambi grows, he makes friends with the other animals of the forest, learns the skills needed to survive, and even finds love. One day, however, the hunters come, and Bambi must learn to be as brave as his father if he is to lead the other deer to safety."

See more here:

Bambi

Koike, in case you didn't know, American children LOVE Bambi..

So if Godzilla still lives and he were to ever meet Bambi, he should walk on by for to slaughter this poor little dear, um, deer would create an international crisis of epic proportion.


24 Mar 05 - 12:05 AM (#1442245)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Bee-dubya-ell

There seems to have been a rash of names with "illa" in them mentioned in Mudcat threads of late. First there was "Camilla", then "Magilla Gorilla" and now "Godzilla". I'm still trying to decide whether it's mere coincidence or if there's a conspiracy going on. I'm going to go have some vanilla ice cream and a sarsparilla and think about it.


24 Mar 05 - 12:06 AM (#1442246)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Bill D

just for you, Martin...naked fairies.

http://www.xeni.net/images/bb/fairyphonecam.jpg

http://www.luminousshadows.com/works/jennifer-.jpg


24 Mar 05 - 12:08 AM (#1442247)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Azizi

Don't forget the Thrilla In Manila fight!

LOL!!


24 Mar 05 - 02:10 AM (#1442274)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST,The Barden of England

Nor the very fightening Phylis Dilla!!!


24 Mar 05 - 03:39 AM (#1442297)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: robomatic

Koike:

Sorry for the confusion. Was Raymond Burr in on the plot to fake Godzilla's end?

There seems to be something wrong with coverage on Godzilla's current activities, as it it not being broadcast overseas.

This can't be good for the balance of trade.


24 Mar 05 - 07:02 AM (#1442408)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: kendall

The truth doesn't always set us free.


24 Mar 05 - 07:35 AM (#1442446)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST

I love Martin Gibson.

He sounds soooooo sexy.


24 Mar 05 - 07:38 AM (#1442450)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST,Liberty

If I recall from some old books, didn't God fake his own death too?

God / Godzilla - tell me that isn't co-incidence!


24 Mar 05 - 08:44 AM (#1442499)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: GUEST,Koike Nishimura

A total overseas news blackout has been effected, in order to protect the Yen. You would never suspect anything is happening if you were not here in Japan. This is why I make sure to use the Internet to inform people.

More electrifying developments! Godzilla has incinerated 756 corporate lawyers who were gathering to discuss the legal ramifications of this extraordinary event. This has resulted in a surprising wave of sympathy for Godzilla on the part of the ordinary public. Godzilla claims that it was simply a sneeze that came unexpectedly upon him while the lawyers were presenting subpoenas and making their legal arrangements on the grounds of Nijo Castle.

Mass demonstrations have taken over the streets. 100,000 union members protesting against Godzilla clashed today with 250,000 university students in support of Godzilla, resulting in many injuries and property destructions and heavily overtaxing the Kyoto police force. Extra detachments of riot police are being sent from all over Japan.

Many Japanese are saying that the country will be better off without the 756 lawyers who perished in the "sneezing" incident.

I will keep you all informed as the amazing events progress here.


24 Mar 05 - 10:31 AM (#1442601)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: mack/misophist

Are monsters elligible for the Nobel Peace Prize?


24 Mar 05 - 11:32 AM (#1442641)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Bill D

sure...Henry Kissenger and Yassar Arafat have both gotten it!


24 Mar 05 - 11:38 AM (#1442649)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Little Hawk

Sounds to me like Godzilla's latest actions will only add lustre to his legendary popularity. :-) He is truly the William Shatner of all monsters.


24 Mar 05 - 01:18 PM (#1442756)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: robomatic

Ever since that godawful attempt of the people behind that even more gawdawful flick "Independence Day" to re-do Godzilla, I've enjoyed his more original name: GOJIRA.

I would like those folk to remake Bambi VS. Godzilla , though and I want them to do it in slo-mo and leave the costume head offa Bambi so we can all see Tom DeLay.


24 Mar 05 - 02:08 PM (#1442820)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Azizi

I thought Tom DeLay played the part of the donkey in Shrek..

We all know what the other name for a donkey is.


24 Mar 05 - 02:28 PM (#1442837)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Dave'sWife

Well I personally, am greatly relieved to know that Godzilla never actually died.

However, who's gonna pay for Baby Godilla's Psychotherapy??

At the end of that one movie when Daddy/Mamma Godzilla is suffering a from an internal Nuclear Meltdown, baby Godzilla was griefstricken. He looked terribly distressed. Was he in on it too? if not, he should sue his parent (can't say for sure if Godzilla is a boy or a girl) for mental cruelty and psychological abuse.


24 Mar 05 - 02:53 PM (#1442853)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Little Hawk

robomatic, you are SO right. Of my list of worst absolute stinkers in all movie history, Independence Day and the Godzilla movie by the same people would be on the top 10. I felt like punching whoever was responsible for Independence Day when I walked out of the theatre, having paid $8 and 2 hours of my life for a totally worthless experience.


24 Mar 05 - 10:16 PM (#1443157)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: Once Famous

Bill D.

I'm not going to bother to look at the site you posted, but it's quite possible your hard drive is what keeps you hard.

I'm sure you know them all.

I'm not surprised.


25 Mar 05 - 08:17 AM (#1443420)
Subject: RE: BS: Godzilla faked his own death!!!
From: robomatic

LH:
Re: Independence Day -
I was a radio DJ at the student station in Anchorage at the time and I broadcast a 4 minute diatribe about that dog that actually had people dialing in to our listener comment line about what kind of problem I must be having. Since then I watch for the name Roland Emmerich (director) as a 'stay-away'.

I get hot just thinking about it, but being able to put it in the air was very therapeutic.

I promise you I could sustain a very long thread about how I hate that piece of flick.