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34 messages

BS: Cars as Phallic symbols

16 Apr 05 - 02:25 PM (#1463054)
Subject: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Davetnova

I've got a Nissan Micra.


16 Apr 05 - 02:31 PM (#1463061)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: kendall

Remember the Edsel?


16 Apr 05 - 02:49 PM (#1463077)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Rapparee

Honda Civic, myself.


16 Apr 05 - 02:51 PM (#1463080)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: GUEST,Clint Keller

I've got an old Specialized Stumpjumper. How about that?

clint


16 Apr 05 - 03:08 PM (#1463096)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: robomatic

Time to dust off this old office copier killer:

What Your Car Says About You

Acura Integra
I have always wanted to own the Buick of sports cars


Acura Legend
I'm too bland for German cars


Acura NSX
I am impotent


Audi 90
I enjoy putting out engine fires


Buick Park Avenue
I am older than4 of the 50 states


Cadillac Eldorado
I am a very good Mary Kay salesman


Cadillac Seville
I am a pimp


Chevrolet Camaro
I enjoy beating the hell out of people


Chevrolet Chevette
I like seeing people's reactions when I tell them I have a 'Vette


Chevrolet Corvette
I'm in a mid-life crisis


Chevrolet El Camino
I am leading a militia to overthrow the government


Chrysler Cordoba
I dig the rich Corinthian leather


Datsun 280Z
I have a kilo of cocaine in my wheel well


Dodge Dart
I teach third grade special education and I voted for Eisenhower


Dodge Daytona
I delivered pizza for four years to get this car


Ferrari Testarossa
I am known to prematurely ejaculate


Ford Fairmont
(See Dodge Dart)


Ford Mustang
I slow down to 85 in school zones


Ford Crown Victoria
I enjoy having people slow to 55mph and change lanes when I pull up behind them


Geo Storm
I will start the 11th grade in the fall.


Geo Tracker
I will start the 12th grade in the fall.


Honda del Sol
I have always said, half a convertible better than no convertible at all


Honda Civic
I have just graduated and have no credit


Honda Accord
I lack any originality and am basically a lemming.


Infiniti Q45
I am a physician with 17 malpractice suits pending.


Isuzu Impulse
I do not give a damn about J.D. Power or his reports.


Jaguar XJ6
I am so rich I will pay 60K for a car that is in the shop 280 days per year.


Kia Sephia
I learned nothing from the failure of Daihatsu Corp.


Lamborghini Countach
I only have one testicle


Lincoln Town Car
I live for bingo and covered dish suppers


Mercury Grand Marquis
(See above)


Mercedes 500SL
I will beat you up if you ask me for an auto-graph


Mercedes 560SEL
I have a daughter named Bitsy and a son named Cole


Mazda Miata
I do not fear being decapitated by an eighteen- wheeler


MGB
I am dating a mechanic


Mitsubishi Diamante
I don't know what it means either


Nissan00ZX
I have yet to complete my divorce proceedings.


Oldsmobile Cutlass
I just stole this car and I'm going to make a fortune off the parts


Peugeot 505 Diesel
I am on the EPA's Ten Most Wanted List


Plymouth Neon
I sincerely enjoy doing the Macarena


Pontiac Trans AM
I have a switchblade in my sock


Porsche 911 Turbo
I have a three inch thingie


Porsche 944
I am dating big haired women that otherwise would be inaccessible to me


Rolls Royce Silver Shadow
I think Pat Buchanon is a tad bit too liberal


Saturn SC2
(See Honda Civic)


Subaru Legacy
I have always wanted a Japanese car even more inferior than Isuzu


Toyota Camry
I am still in the closet


Volkswagon Beetle
I still watch Partridge Family reruns


Volkswagon Cabriolet
I am out of the closet


Volkswagen Jetta GLX
I am hung like a dead horse.


Volkswagon Microbus
I am tripping right now


Volvo 740 Wagon
I am frightened of my wife


16 Apr 05 - 03:12 PM (#1463099)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Sorcha

What about the female of the species? And my Jeep Grand Cherokee isn't on the list....


16 Apr 05 - 03:27 PM (#1463109)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: mg

85 Buick Century


16 Apr 05 - 04:09 PM (#1463128)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Mooh

Nothin' more phallic than a mini van with two baby seats in the back. Glad that era has passed.
Peace, Mooh.


16 Apr 05 - 04:18 PM (#1463132)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: McGrath of Harlow

A lot to be said for having an old banger.


16 Apr 05 - 04:20 PM (#1463133)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Sorcha

Arrrrgggghhhh, Kevin! ROF!


16 Apr 05 - 05:16 PM (#1463163)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Rapparee

And what about my wife's Honda Element?


16 Apr 05 - 05:19 PM (#1463165)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)

Rolls Royce


16 Apr 05 - 05:25 PM (#1463170)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: RolyH

At least I can always say I have the latest Rover.


16 Apr 05 - 07:02 PM (#1463210)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: John O'L

Ford Territory (The Humber Super Snipe of the 21st century.)

Rear wheel drive - not phallic or even socially competitive, but mighty comfy.


17 Apr 05 - 11:30 AM (#1463553)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: catspaw49

Sometimes you can learn a lot about a car by simply dissecting the name. Phallic symbol or not, perhaps it's in the name!
*********************************************************************

ACURA - Always Catching Up, Rarely Ahead...Always Causes Unexpected Rectal Analysis
AUDI - Accelerates Under Demonic Influences
BMW - Brutal Money Waster, Bought My Wife
BUICK - Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
CADILLAC - Crazy Aunt Drives It Like A Lunatic Across the Country
CAMARO - Can't America Make A Real One?
CHEVROLET - Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
CHRYSLER - Company Has Recommended You Start Learning Engine Repair
CITROEN - Crap Interior Terrible Road-holding Owned Entirely by Nutters
CORVETTE - Cracks Often, Rattles Violently, Eventually Turns To Excrement
DODGE - Dear Old Dad's Garage Experiment, Drips Oil Drops Grease Everywhere
EDSEL - Every Day Something Else Leaks
FERRARI - Ferrari Engines Routinely Require Another Rebuild Immediately
FIAT - Fix It Again Tony!
FORD - Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable, Found On Road Dead, Fix Or Repair Daily
GEO - Grotesque Engineering Outdated
GM - Generally Mediocre
GMC - Gotta' Mechanic Coming
GTO - Get Tickets Often!
HONDA - Had One Never Did Again
HYUNDAI - Hope You Understand Nothing's Driveable And Inexpensive
IROC - It's Really Only a Camaro
JAGUAR - Jags Always Guarantee Unlimited Astronomical Repairs
JEEP - Just Eats Every Part, Jumble of Everyone's Extra Parts
KIA - Korean Idiot Attractor
LTD - Long Term Debt
MAZDA - Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG - Money Grabber, Might Go
MOPAR - My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG - Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE - Overpriced Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick's Leftover Equipment
PINTO - Pyrotechnics Is Naturally The Object
PONTIAC - Poor Old Nitwit Thinks It's A Cadillac
PORSCHE - Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB - Sad Attempt At Beauty, Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
SATURN - Sorry About That Unexpected Recall Notice
TOYOTA - The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH - This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
VOLVO - Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW - Virtually Worthless
YUGO - You're Usually Getting Overtaken

Spaw


17 Apr 05 - 11:48 AM (#1463562)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: GUEST,Smiler

Q Whats the difference between a Ford Mustang(US)/ Capri (UK) and a porqupine
A On a porqupine the prick's are on the outside


17 Apr 05 - 11:51 AM (#1463566)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: beardedbruce

I DO NOT play Bingo!


17 Apr 05 - 09:21 PM (#1463941)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: GUEST,Joe_F

You can smoke a symbolic cigar.

You can ride in a long, sexy car.

But a phallic church steeple,

To sensible people,

Is stretching the thing rather far.

--- Joe Fineman    joe_f@verizon.net

||: Anger is ice for the toothache of shame. :||


17 Apr 05 - 09:43 PM (#1463952)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Bobert

The ultimate?

Try a '49 Studebaker Commander where you didn't get just *one* phallic symbol but...

...three!!!!

Yeah them were the days...

Bobert


17 Apr 05 - 09:45 PM (#1463954)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Bill D

funny you should ask....


17 Apr 05 - 09:49 PM (#1463956)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Bill D

It pays to advertise

drive slowly, but carry a big stick


17 Apr 05 - 10:04 PM (#1463961)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: LilyFestre

My girlfriend and I always wave hello to the older gentlemen who are driving the sports cars. We are always sure to convey our condolences as well: "Sorry about your penis!"

ML


17 Apr 05 - 10:27 PM (#1463965)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Bill D

What you want to watch out for are the older gentlemen who drive vans with curtains.


18 Apr 05 - 12:00 AM (#1464016)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Shanghaiceltic

I have a GM Sail.

If cars were really phallic symbols then we'd be polishing them all day and backing them in and out of the garage!


18 Apr 05 - 12:31 AM (#1464033)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: GUEST

i used my phallic symbol in the car


18 Apr 05 - 05:31 AM (#1464129)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Davetnova

Hey, Bill D. I've got a van with curtains too. What are they watching for?


18 Apr 05 - 06:19 AM (#1464148)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: GUEST,Mr Red

What does a red car and a tiny red caravan say about the owner?

I call the caravan a coupe tup - what is that saying about the owner? Considering the fact that it is used for what happens on the inside - what kind of symbol should that be?

Porridge anyone?


18 Apr 05 - 01:28 PM (#1464464)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Bill D

Dave...a van with curtains indicates the driver is still fully functional and not reduced to driving useless little sports cars, of course.


18 Apr 05 - 01:30 PM (#1464466)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Davetnova

Thank god for that. I thought I was turning into a pervert.


18 Apr 05 - 07:53 PM (#1464768)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Shanghaiceltic

Hear the rear parcel shelf has almost become a statement on the owner.

I have seen many full of fluffy lacy pillows and soft toys that they look more like a bedroom. Sometimes so full the driver cannot see out the back.


19 Apr 05 - 02:25 AM (#1465015)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: mack/misophist

My vehicle is called Sylvia Golden. Hardly phallic. She's a Honda motorcycle. Only wheels I've got, though.


19 Apr 05 - 03:51 AM (#1465050)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Davetnova

Oh come on, mack, you can hardly get more phallic than a big throbbing thing between your legs.


19 Apr 05 - 11:55 AM (#1465404)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: GUEST,Mingulay at work

Mine's old, green and dribbles something from somewhere!!!!!!!!!!


19 Apr 05 - 01:22 PM (#1465487)
Subject: RE: BS: Cars as Phallic symbols
From: Mr Red

I used to have a Fiat motor caravan - I quickly got the hang of shutting-up ney sayers by telling them it would do 80 and that was good enough for a sports car (in the 70's). They looked increduluous so I let them ponder just long enough and added - 'course it all depends on your sport.

The conversation invetiably turned to function and convenience. Apart from the two weeks on a canal boat, the holidays in the van were the best days of my marriage. But if I stop to count the percentages ...................