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01 Jun 05 - 09:40 PM (#1497786) Subject: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Well, here we go again... A friend of mine has this wife who has been complainin' about where they live for the last 3 'er 5 years.... She said she hated all the building going on around her and just wanted a nice place where there was privacy and no developers so... ....my friend found this nice 18 acre farm down in the Shenandoah valley and bought it and now... ... his wife cries every day as my friend and his wife move things down to their new home??? Like what's this all about??? BObert |
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01 Jun 05 - 09:47 PM (#1497792) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Peace My ex divorced me. I have nothing to add to this thread. |
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01 Jun 05 - 11:03 PM (#1497840) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: CarolC It'll pass, Bobert. Don't let it get to you. |
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01 Jun 05 - 11:29 PM (#1497853) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Kaleea Geez, Bobert, I'd be thanking the good Lord that I had a home of my own to live in. And a body that works well enough to be moving stuff. Something I'll never have in this lifetime. |
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01 Jun 05 - 11:36 PM (#1497858) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Ahhhhh, it's my friend, gol dangit.... (Bobert, Bobert, Bobert.... Every time you pull one of these it's yer friend??? Like just who is this friend, anyway???) Hey, it's my friend, danged it.... B;( |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:04 AM (#1497880) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Stilly River Sage Buyer's remorse is something you can get over. Help your friend find a way to make some real special corner of the place hers, and build from there. SRS |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:12 AM (#1497886) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: LilyFestre Did your friend ASK if his wife might like to move way out to the middle of nowhere before they moved or did he think he was doing a good thing and surprised her with it? Mayber your friend's wife is one of those kinds of woman who just likes to complain to hear herself talk and wasn't REALLY bothered by all the development..... I have a dear friend who loves drama...it's not that she's truly unhappy or that there is a real crisis...she just likes the drama and attention that she gets from her reaction. Did the move take her far from all her friends and social activities? Is she the kind of person that enjoys being alone? I live in the middle of nowhere but I don't mind being alone or the quiet. My grandmother visited here for the first time about 3 years ago, stood on the deck, looked out across 4 mountains with not another house or car in sight...she sighed and said, you must really enjoy your own company. She loved the house but hated the location due to the isolation...maybe your friend wasn't really ready for that kind of quiet. No answers for you...just find it to be an interesting situation. I hope your friend's wife relaxes and can find some happiness along the way. Michelle |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:37 AM (#1497906) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: mg I'd say if it was a mutual decision the friend's wife should do the majority of her grieving in private and not impose it on the husband. mg |
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02 Jun 05 - 01:05 AM (#1497915) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: open mike hormones |
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02 Jun 05 - 01:37 AM (#1497921) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Ebbie Bobett, have a little talk with your friend and his wife. Suggest that before you, um, they make the actual move that they set aside a couple of days to explore the town- let's just call it Luray, for convenience - and see what the town is about. Stay in a nice hotel and try several different eating places, rummage around garage sales and crafts shops or whatever else his wife likes to do, meet people at church, visit the local Chamber of Commerce and the Visitors' Bureau and the museums and libraries- in other words, talk with people who love the town. (I happen to know that Luray is a lovely town- see if you can get them to settle near there.) Or have her post her complaints and fears and reservations on the Mudcat- that'll shake her right up. Wish them luck, for me. |
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02 Jun 05 - 04:39 AM (#1497983) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: John MacKenzie She's probably in shock from getting what she wanted for once! G.. |
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02 Jun 05 - 05:25 AM (#1498009) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Alba ROFL Giok....this may indeed be the case. Now if you want to get down to the real grit behind What do Women want part # 679????... I can only speak for myself as each one of is unique Bobert:>) but it sounds like Moving Trauma to me. Ebbie's right about setting aside a few days to 'visit' the Town they are moving to. .. and there is always, shall we say the 'when all else fails measure':>)..... Ebbie is seldom wrong and she is right again........ Your Friend could have his wife post "her complaints and fears and reservations on the Mudcat". The only thing is, if he thinks she is upset at the moment...just wait till she reads some of the possible responses..***bg*** I wish them both a happy Life in what sounds like a lovely setting. Adjusting to a rural lifestyle takes time if you are not used to it but I wouldn't trade these 25 acres in the Backwoods here for anything. Love Jude |
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02 Jun 05 - 05:43 AM (#1498013) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Alba I am Looking after a Friend's place at the moment so along with my own small zoo I have her small zoo to tend to for 3 weeks:>) so if they/he/she is planning on Horses, Dogs, Cats, Goats, Chickens, Geese or Peacocks she/he/they better get used to the 4.00am wake up call. You get used to it and it's neat to start your day watching the sunrise and end it watching the sunset. Jude |
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02 Jun 05 - 07:44 AM (#1498075) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Well, well, well.... Some mighty fine suggestions here... Yeah, Eb, my friend's wife had allready visited Luray, 'er whatwver town it was, and met some folks and visited some shops and loved the place.... as well as the pace. And it was her idea to move but now we're, ahhhhh, they're in the middle of the move and tryin' to get their house ready to go on the market and she ain't doin' so hot... Oh, did I mention that my friend's wife has massive gardens and has allready moved over 200 plants to their new home and still have another 100 to move??? But I will think of that "special spot" in the house for my friend's wife.... Maybe that will work.... Nuthin' much else is... (BTW, just as a side note, we close on *our* house in Luray today.) Bobert |
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02 Jun 05 - 09:04 AM (#1498133) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: LilyFestre Bobert, Sometimes it's just hard to say goodbye to a place, ya know? I have a 5 bedroom home that I don't live in. It's a house in town and I haven't been able to say goodbye to it for 7 years now. I just couldn't. So...I have been spending my own money on utilities and taxes and this is the year that it's ok for me to let it go. It's a bit much and I know I've wasted a ton of money but the goodbye was just too much for me...it's been almost a grieving process. Give your wife...er friend..some time and understand that sometimes it's just plain old hard to say goodbye to someplace that's full of love and good memories. Michelle PS. Ebbie...LOVED your post!!! Great idea!!! PSS. Open Mike, you know if any woman ever heard that come out of your mouth, it would be denied and you would be shot shortly thereafter, right? *GRIN* |
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02 Jun 05 - 10:58 AM (#1498226) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: mack/misophist Women are somple creatures. They only want the same things cats do: More and Better. Now! |
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02 Jun 05 - 11:05 AM (#1498230) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bunnahabhain One other thing. If they're in the middle of moving, they're going to be stuck together alot, with no time to just be together. That's not fun at all. The thing most people want above anything else is time. Things will probably work out just fine once the stress and extra business of the moving is done. About when the last of the stuff is moved, and there's nothing really urgent to be done and *they have a chance to sit out on the deck, and have a good glass of wine as the sun sets over the valley... *Insert approiate relaxation here. Bunnahabhain |
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02 Jun 05 - 11:10 AM (#1498232) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: GUEST This is all women require comfort |
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02 Jun 05 - 11:23 AM (#1498242) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Buy or borrow a copy of Under the Tuscan Sun and watch it together. Good luck on the closing. And the opening of a new adventure in a great place. SRS |
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02 Jun 05 - 11:42 AM (#1498260) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Avril Betts Come over to the UK Bobert - I could show you what I want. Incidently do you men across the atlantic have part numbers on your whotsits then ? - how big is part number 697 ? |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:09 PM (#1498296) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: JohnInKansas One perspective on this question, from the male point of view, is that males of the common sort are attracted to females. Males have the advantage of just naturally enjoying the company of something lovely, charming, soft, cuddly, and even on most occasions useful and helpful. This object of male affection frequently does its own substantial maintenance and contributes significantly to making a healthy and comfortable nesting place for them both. Women, in the ordinary course of things, are expected to be naturally attracted to something somewhat larger, often a little clumsy, sometimes not too bright, frequently rather hairy, requiring substantial maintenance, prone to loud and rude noises, leaving trails of waste and debris everywhere it goes and requiring someone constantly to feed and water it and to clean up after it. For the male, there are no real complications here, as there is no common substitute for the companionship of a woman of even the most ordinary sort. The female, on the other hand, could generally have most of the same benefits and burdens if they only had a small stable and a decently trained horse to ride occasionally and to care for constantly – an option frequently found to be very attractive, especially by younger women. All of us of male persuasion must remember that when they seem confused, detached, unpredictable, or otherwise thinking of things we don't understand, they may be just considering whether they've chosen the wrong one of these two common options. Sometimes it's helpful just to nuzzle up and beg for a bit of sugar, but in extreme cases it may be necessary to move something heavy or otherwise demonstrate some utility – even if it's fairly trivial. Just remember – we can be replaced, for them. They are indispensible for us, and for most of us there are no satisfactory substitutes or alternatives. John |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:10 PM (#1498300) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Little Hawk They want genuine love and understanding. And a stable home environment. Some want a lot of stuff, too. Depends... |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:16 PM (#1498305) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: SINSULL Give your friend's wife a hug, Bobert. Moving is a bitch! SINS |
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02 Jun 05 - 12:20 PM (#1498309) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Ebbie LOL, Johninkansas. |
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02 Jun 05 - 02:04 PM (#1498373) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: frogprince So funny, but so true, J in K. |
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02 Jun 05 - 10:26 PM (#1498816) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Well, well, well... Coincidence here... MY frined and his wife closed on their new home the same day that me and the P-Vine closed on ours and seems that just that act in itself did wonders on my friends wife... The hug I gave my friend's wife mighta helped as well... Bobert |
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02 Jun 05 - 10:29 PM (#1498819) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: jacqui.c Best of luck Bobert - moving's a bitch and I can say that from personal experience, but it's surprising how fast you adapt to a new situation. |
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03 Jun 05 - 02:10 AM (#1498918) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Ebbie You are a GOOD friend, Bobert. |
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03 Jun 05 - 10:15 PM (#1499854) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: dianavan JohninKansas - Your post was perfect! Yes, Bobert, the wife was just feeling a little confused and tired. Its also difficult to part with all the junk that has accumulated in the last little while. Finding your way around a new place can be very challenging. Everything is in boxes and what you need is usually on the bottom. Make your self useful. Pamper her a little. The moodiness will pass. |
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03 Jun 05 - 10:17 PM (#1499857) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Ya promise??? |
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03 Jun 05 - 10:30 PM (#1499862) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: LilyFestre ROFLMAO Bobert...you are TOO FUNNY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Michelle |
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03 Jun 05 - 10:42 PM (#1499867) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Once Famous Pretty soon they will build a new Wal-Mart near by and things will get back to normal. She will be happy again shopping. |
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03 Jun 05 - 11:00 PM (#1499880) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Too late, Martin... There's one just west of Luray allready... Problem is that neither of us will shop at a Wal-Mart... Think ya could get a Martin's (yeah, that's what they are called...) Grocery... That would definately do the trick... Or better yet, a Costco..... Yeah, I could go fir a Costco, myself... Bobert |
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04 Jun 05 - 06:59 AM (#1500011) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: matai A copy of this thread might do the trick. Part#698????... as well even better. |
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04 Jun 05 - 10:35 AM (#1500078) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: LilyFestre Martin, Martin, Martin.....*shaking my head in pretend pity* When are you gonna change your name to Captain Stereotype? Hmmm? *Laughing* Michelle |
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04 Jun 05 - 12:24 PM (#1500139) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Stilly River Sage Bobert, I spent about a month in Connecticut years ago sorting through my great aunt's house (her estate). I wasn't employed at the time except in this work, and it was a big house. Three of us inherited, but I was doing the grunt work cleaning and sorting and getting ready so we could sell the house. I found that my little place of sanity was at a small oak table in the kitchen, where I cleared all of the clutter and just left a regular setup for tea. Several cups and saucers along with the usual ammendments. You're putting a household together, not deconstructing one, so just starting from a spot like that would be a good first step. Over the years I have found that when I've worked at this kind of task (whether moving or managing an estate) that having a calm center and a source of coffee or tea that is ALWAYS CLEAN and ready to go is very comfortable. A box of good donuts or pastries doesn't usually go amiss either. If being alone with your thoughts is too much at times, have a source of music handy. At Dad's house, as I did the final cleaning before we put the house on the market I kept a little cassette player there and I listened to some of the tapes of his hoots and radio performances and such. Poignant but welcome. You're starting a new place, so you might want some vigorous banjo or accordion music to really stir your blood, eh? SRS |
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04 Jun 05 - 12:32 PM (#1500148) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Once Famous Lily, Interesting how many stereotypes are based on truth, but there is no real measurement of how much they are stretched except for the reaction on how much someone is offended by them. That is completely variable. |
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04 Jun 05 - 03:13 PM (#1500232) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: LilyFestre Interesting point...I'm thinking it's all in the context and tone... Michelle PS. How's the move going Bobert? |
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04 Jun 05 - 08:40 PM (#1500320) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: GUEST,Bobert Well, Michelle, we have a 10 foot covered trailer and made out 12th trip down today with yer another load... We have now moved over 250 plants and are down to about 50 left... We have moved lots of boxes and a few pieces of furniture to make the our existing place look less cluttered. We listed it yesterday but have asked our broker to not put it into MLS until next weekend... By then we will have completed the rest of the checklist to show the house... The new house is gonna be a challenge but we are gonna hole up in the one room that won't be effected by the additions and remodeling. I have a friend coming by in the morning to help me load a few heavy pieces plus the queen size sleigh bed that is out real bed... So starting Monday, we will be splitting time between Luray and Wes Ginny... Oughtta be an interesting journey, to say the least... But, I am a true believer in what SRS said about havin' a queit place where everything is clean and comfy... I'll have to carve it out in the room where we will be residing but I'm really good a space and placing stuff fir maximum comfiness.... Plus, we have met one of the locals, Clifford, and he is retired but has a heart of gold and knows everyone in the holler where we will be livin' and he's gonna be a big help in hookin' us up with folks willin' to do some horse tradin'... We have an 8 acre pasture that he says if we let that Weakly boy use to field board his horse then he'll keep another field (3 acres) where the pond is and where we are gonna have some great gardens, bush hogged fir us... Yeah, if we was gonna meet one person on the planet that we needed to know up (down) there, it is Clifford... Yeah, I thought he mighta thought I was some city slicker but he was there all day today an' he watched me work an' at the end of the day he said, "Why, Boy, you is one workin' fool..." I reckon I won the ol' boy's respect... Actually, when he saw me hot wire and jump start a large tarctor/mower that was left on the farm 'cause nobody could get it started to cart it off, he was amazed... But right now, I'm beat.... And, BTW, my friend is as well.... Bobert |
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05 Jun 05 - 07:58 PM (#1500792) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: SINSULL I have decided that this woman wants a husband. My needs are few - a fairly recent model with all equipment working at least sporadically and an avid love of gardening. Once a year, after a day of hot, sticky, dirty slogging around in beds of weeds and wildlife, I decide I need a husband. The need will pass so hurry in and file an application if you meet the requirements. SINS |
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05 Jun 05 - 09:08 PM (#1500837) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: frogprince "Wanted: strong, handsome, considerate man, with rototiller and pickup truck. Send pictures of tiller and truck" signed SRS |
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05 Jun 05 - 09:33 PM (#1500843) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: frogprince Oops, scuse me SRS; that was supposed to be "signed, Sinsull". |
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05 Jun 05 - 09:37 PM (#1500845) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Alba Oh you've done it now Frogprince, see were forgery gets you eh...lol Love Jude |
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05 Jun 05 - 09:37 PM (#1500846) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: jacqui.c Is the banjo still necessary SINSULL? |
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05 Jun 05 - 09:42 PM (#1500852) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: frogprince correction: "send pictures of tiller, truck, and banjo"... Do we have the guy p.m. Sinsull, or do you gals want him as an item for the mudcat auction? |
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05 Jun 05 - 10:47 PM (#1500868) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Stilly River Sage LOL! I have a considerate man with a tiller--John lives across the street and is married to Pearlie, who cooks such good greens. He loans me his tiller whenever I need it. How's that for a great arrangement? I Bobert, when we moved into this house it was still in the midst of remodeling. We had everything in boxes and completely filled the front living room and the middle bedroom. I left the front bedroom empty and I put tarps and beds (cots, mattresses) and what I could for comfort in the back master bedroom. For a while our bath was a round galvenized tub, because both bathrooms needed work around the tubs and tile and such. I had a shiny new fridge in the kitchen, and we made that room work first. I can hardly remember what it looked like now, with no carpet (the old stuff was horrible--a couple of decades old--so I had the contractor pull it all, except the front room that was never used). We camped out in that back bedroom and I painted and tiled the front bedroom, and when it was ready I moved the kids in there, to share the only room in the house that really looked like a bedroom. As I finished spaces we moved into it. As long as I focussed on the comfort of my children, we were all okay, and it gave me an automatic checklist to work through. I still haven't finished the floors in a couple of areas, but most of the house is pretty darned comfortable now. But it always felt like it was ours, starting on the very first night we slept here, because I made sure everyone had thick flipflops for insulation against the cold bare concrete floors. SRS |
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05 Jun 05 - 11:00 PM (#1500874) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Stilly River Sage Oh--and I already own a pickup truck. |
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05 Jun 05 - 11:12 PM (#1500878) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Nice pics, SRS.... Our situation is a lot different but the same basic concept.... Camp out in one room, be flexible an' take on the rest of the house.... I did this 20 years ago in my house here in Wes Ginny when I was in my late 30's and I'm in at least good shape now so I reckon I can pull it off one more time... But that is "one more time".... This is gonna have to be the end of the line fir both P-Vine and me.... But it's gonna work... But tonight, iz tired.... Real tired..... Bobert |
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05 Jun 05 - 11:27 PM (#1500884) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: JohnInKansas Golly Dang Bobert, it sounds like a real project, a lot of work, and lots of fun. That bit 'bout meeting the good neighbors kinda impresses me. 'Round here you find out who the friendly new neighbors are by who shows up to help with the remodelling -- but that usually just consists of jackin' it up and takin' the wheels off.... John |
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06 Jun 05 - 07:20 AM (#1501017) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: SINSULL There will be no time for banjo playing. I will keep him busy mowing my lawn and plowing my furrows. Sorry for the hijack, Bobert. heh heh |
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06 Jun 05 - 07:49 AM (#1501033) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: Bobert Sins, Don't put that in yer ad 'er tyhe phone sho nuff not gonna ring... (SWF lookin' fir banjo playin' mate will to work in the fields daily until droppin' from fatigue. No need to bring banjo. You won't have any time ot energy to play it....) Bobert |
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06 Jun 05 - 09:07 AM (#1501090) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: LilyFestre Our house was a mess when we purchased it too. There was a sub-flooring in the hall and living room, the woodstove sat on pine floors with tinfoil on the wall for insulation (how they didn't burn the house down, I'll never know), the stove pipe was put together upside down, the majority of the sheetrock was put on backwards (white part facing in), the entire kitchen was ripped out, major plumping had to be tended to pronto, there was no railin on the stairs, the deck had holes in it and there were large holes in the bathroom walls (some unseen and only found after I found a possum sitting in the bathroom chowing down some cat food). Seven years later and the house still is not complete. We put in new floors, knocked down a wall, hired a mason to build a chimney and base for the woodstove, put in new cupboards, sanded down the pine floors, built a new deck, hired a plumber, fixed holes, tweaked the heating system, etc. It's been a LOT of work but it also makes this old farmhouse our home...the way WE like it. The railing for the stairs and the loft isn't complete, the bathroom still has exposed pipes (no real ceiling), the front porch needs some attention...the list goes on. Sometimes it's overwhelming but the truth is, this place is 100% better than the shape we bought it in and I wouldn't trade it or move for anything. We started out with the bed downstairs in what is now our music room while we worked on sheetrocking the bedroom and waiting on carpet to cover the contact paper covered floors. The bed sat on the floor...it wasn't so bad. We used an outside patio table in the kitchen for a place to sit and have lunch until the kitchen was finished and then we moved in furniture. Little by little, step by step...things WILL get done...just as they will at your house Bobert. Do you have much fixin' up to do at your place Bobert or is getting moved the biggest part right now? Er...wait...I mean...for your friend.... Michelle |
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06 Jun 05 - 10:13 AM (#1501139) Subject: RE: BS: What do women want, Part # 697????.... From: GUEST,Stilly River Sage Great story, Michelle! I love reading accounts of people recognizing the potential in a place and taking the time (even if it is paycheck to paycheck!) to do the work. Our stories are too open-ended to be used for This Old House and the work is hard, but I always find it entertaining and satisfying to step back from a project and pronounce it finished. The morning is cloudy here so my vitex doesn't show up as well as it can, but the last photo added today, when compared with the second photo in the set, shows a lot of growth. I saw one of these along a nearby road and drove by slowly many times until I figured out what it was. It's one of those multi-stemmed tall shrubs/small trees that smells wonderful any time you brush against it, and when it is in bloom has a wonderful sweet scent. Keeping before and after photos helps boost the satisfaction in completing a job. I hope, Bobert, that you're taking some "before" photos so next spring you can stand in the same spots and see the huge difference just a year makes in those gardens and in the house. Get started on this this morning--get out the camera and shoot a roll or two while you're resting up from digging holes and jump-starting tractors. SRS |
