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15 Jun 05 - 04:24 PM (#1501867) Subject: BS: Don't.... From: gnu ... tell the dental hygiene assistant a real funny joke just before she starts. It still hurts and it was about three hours ago that she 'slipped' with the little thingy that vibrates. It's SHARP when you get it in the gums!!! And I damned near drowned! |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:26 PM (#1501870) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: TheBigPinkLad I don't think you're supposed to put the vibrator in your mouth ... |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:27 PM (#1501872) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Clinton Hammond Don't.... ... go home with your hard on... |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:44 PM (#1501891) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: jacqui.c Poor gnu - at the mercy of a woman eh? |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:45 PM (#1501892) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci you deserve a plaque for that the tartar ! |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:46 PM (#1501895) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: TheBigPinkLad Denture love it when rum's on fire? |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:50 PM (#1501902) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci Gum over here BPL and say that |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:52 PM (#1501905) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: TheBigPinkLad Nice of you to gingivite me over ... |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:52 PM (#1501907) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: artbrooks Don't teeth her....... |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:56 PM (#1501911) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci I'll have you both on drill in the morning ! That'll sort out the talk from mutter (btw OUCH gnu) |
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15 Jun 05 - 04:58 PM (#1501915) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: TheBigPinkLad Now look what chew've done ... |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:08 PM (#1501922) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: LilyFestre I novocain stand it!!!!!!!! LMAO! Michelle |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:11 PM (#1501928) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci Now jawst a minute Lily - you too ? ah well - the molar the merrier I say |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:25 PM (#1501945) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: TheBigPinkLad Such wisdom ... such incisorness ... tooth thumbs up! |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:26 PM (#1501949) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Richard Bridge Not if she's on the pull... |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:28 PM (#1501951) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: heric GP was giving me a rectal exam. He said "That's only one digit, but you can have a second opinion." I said NO JOKES!!! |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:29 PM (#1501953) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci ooooo That last remark ought to be sterilised I never look down in the mouth for long tis true |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:30 PM (#1501955) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: fat B****rd Don't....... forget to slop your dripper. |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:34 PM (#1501958) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Liz the Squeak But WHAT WAS THE JOKE?!!! LTS |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:37 PM (#1501965) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Rapparee Where's jimmyt when you really need him? He's a dentist and could easily get to the root of all this. Drill down, if you will. Besides, he works in a filling station. |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:46 PM (#1501974) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: jimmyt what an amalgamation of witty folks! |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:48 PM (#1501978) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: jimmyt SPeaking of rectal exams, I was having my exam recently and looked back to see the doctor writing with one hand and holding the clip board with the other.........I demanded a discount....or at least he could buy me a drink |
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15 Jun 05 - 05:48 PM (#1501979) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci I can't cap that one jimmy even if I would like to crown some of them |
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15 Jun 05 - 06:07 PM (#1501992) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: heric No, that was me screaming back "no jokes," LTS. He wasn't punishing me. I think he kinda likes me. |
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15 Jun 05 - 06:11 PM (#1501995) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: heric oh, yeah. . . Gnu's joke! Tell us? (if it still works) |
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15 Jun 05 - 06:33 PM (#1502018) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu Ooooolllld joke, but she had never heard it. I was minded of it because, when I go for a teeth cleaning, I like to use some lip 'medication' prior to the procedure. Lipsyl, or Blistex or whatever, so that when they stretch your lips to do the work, the lips actually stretch. And, the salt solution they use for cleansing irritates the lips if you don't have some lip balm on. OK then, the joke... shortened... (when feathered out and told right, it's pretty good... but still old... Cowboy arrives at saloon... ties up horse... waters... feeds... grooms... lifts tail and kisses ass... walks into saloon and orders whiskey... barkeep pours and says, "nice horse"... "Yup, been though a lotta miles with that horse"... "Ya take good care a that horse. Ya watered, fed and groomed him before ya even came in fer drink. But, I noticed ya kissed it's ass?... "Yup, that's fer chapped lips"... "That cures chapped lips?... "No, But it'll keep ya from lickin em." |
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15 Jun 05 - 06:36 PM (#1502026) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: heric oh, bummer. my hygenist would love that joke. but she can never know. . . lol |
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15 Jun 05 - 06:39 PM (#1502030) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Liz the Squeak Ah THAT joke.. I can understand the reaction of the nurse!! LTS |
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15 Jun 05 - 06:47 PM (#1502039) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu ... say "But I don't care... you really do turn me on." |
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15 Jun 05 - 07:01 PM (#1502058) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: kendall Jeri once told me that she never has novocain when she has dental work done. I of course asked why and she said "Because I want to transcend dental medication." |
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15 Jun 05 - 07:23 PM (#1502078) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Shanghaiceltic Incicive wit and wisdom here. BTW what happens to all those teeth the dentists remove, does the dentist get a special deal from the Tooth Faerie? |
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15 Jun 05 - 07:38 PM (#1502094) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: SINSULL My dentist uses Bernaise Sauce on his plates but Kendall will have to explain... This has been a "bonding" experience. Thank you all. |
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15 Jun 05 - 07:42 PM (#1502099) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Rapparee I asked my dentist if he could stretch my mouth from right to left. He asked why, I told him I wanted wider teeth. |
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16 Jun 05 - 01:00 AM (#1502229) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: open mike i keep asking my dentist office to use warm water to spray my mouth with as the cold water hits nerves....no luck -- yet. but if i have enough nitrous oxide i do not complain--too much i do not know about the salt water bit, but definately apply chap stick, or lip salve of some sort prior to getting in the chair! lip balm comes in lots of flavors...and so does the flouride they use. i bet there are acres and acres of mint grown just for use in tooth and mouth products!! |
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16 Jun 05 - 05:19 PM (#1502484) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu ... expect. Inspect. (My company motto.) |
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16 Jun 05 - 06:11 PM (#1502530) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: SharonA Tried to look up a synonym for "dentist" on Thesaurus.com It replied, "No entry found for dentist. Did you mean detest?" (Why, yes, I suppose I really did!) |
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16 Jun 05 - 07:19 PM (#1502596) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu Hehehehehe!!!! |
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16 Jun 05 - 08:37 PM (#1502660) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Sorcha Yes, Laruel, why is there NOT a setting for warm water? ESP after they ask you if you are heat/cold sensitive???? |
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16 Jun 05 - 10:03 PM (#1502678) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Little Hawk Ever notice that dentists and hygeinists never use the expression "Bite me!" for some reason? |
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17 Jun 05 - 02:47 PM (#1503095) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu ... ask the Game Warden, when he asks you if you have a rifle in your vehicle, "Why do you want to borrow my rifle?" Some of them have no sense of humour at all. Even though they asked such a silly question. |
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17 Jun 05 - 03:45 PM (#1503146) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu ... piss Mom Nature off by keeping all your windows open because it is the month of June, and, damnit, it SUPPOSED to be WARM!!! Even I can't believe this weather and I am the one who keeps telling people not to put in young plants yet because we could still have frost near the full moon. Had to close the windows this morning and put on the furnace to take a shower. |
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17 Jun 05 - 03:49 PM (#1503150) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: rumanci Fangs for this list of Don'ts gnu - I am enamelled of them - and that's the tooth |
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17 Jun 05 - 03:50 PM (#1503151) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: bobad ...sleep in the subway darlin'. |
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18 Jun 05 - 12:23 AM (#1503458) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Troll When I had my colo-rectal exam last month, I asked the Doc to give me a note for my wife attesting that my head was NOT "up there". He was most obliging (sp?) troll |
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18 Jun 05 - 07:41 AM (#1503579) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu ... roller skate in a buffalo herd. |
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19 Jun 05 - 01:21 AM (#1504064) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: GUEST,G-Spot ...step on the Grass, Sam Don't be such an ass, Sam (anyone remember that jewel?) GS |
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19 Jun 05 - 07:39 AM (#1504196) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: matai Thanks so much for the laughs. I have to go to the detest tomorrow cos I broke a tooth eating wasabi balls. Now my dentist will wonder what I'm smiling about, especially after I tie up my horse. Thanks for the lip salve tip |
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19 Jun 05 - 07:41 AM (#1504200) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu Wasabi balls? Wha's 'at be? |
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19 Jun 05 - 07:42 AM (#1504201) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: matai Last time I went she put glasses on me. Said she was disposed to dropping sharp instruments. |
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19 Jun 05 - 07:49 AM (#1504204) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: gnu Minds me of even older joke about the lady that grabbed the dentist by the balls just before he started to work. When he asked her what she was doing that for, she asked, "Now, were not going to hurt each other, are we?" |
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19 Jun 05 - 08:31 AM (#1504237) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: JennyO I didn't know wasabis had balls. |
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20 Jun 05 - 07:29 AM (#1504928) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Bobert ...try to outrun a mad hornet on yer John Deer tractor... 'er, in the words of Lyndon Johnson: "Don't spit in the soup, we've all got to eat". (Glad to see that you recovered from the near drownin' incident, gnu... Woulda been mightly embarrassin' to have yer obituary read: "Died from teeth cleanin'...) Bobert |
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22 Jun 05 - 06:01 AM (#1506711) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: matai Wasabi balls are hot....like crunchy split peas injected with wasabi, that hot, green stuff you have with sushi...to nibble while your drinking. Sushi? A Japanese rice dish with fish/chicken/ vegetables rolled in seaweed and cut into circular thick slices. Particularly nourishing when hung over. |
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22 Jun 05 - 06:21 AM (#1506726) Subject: RE: BS: Don't.... From: Kaleea When I was a kid we had a dentist who would numb the gums, prop your mouth open so you couldn't move it with his tools, start working in there, and begin singing. Then he would ask, "How do you like my singing?" moral . . .don't complain about the dentist's singing whilst the Dr. is working on you. |