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22 Sep 05 - 11:14 AM (#1568448) Subject: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Richard Bridge Click for the 'PermaThread™: List of all joke threads'Donald Rumsfeld is giving the president his daily briefing. He concludes by saying: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed in an accident' "OH NO!" the President exclaims. "That's terrible!" His staff sits stunned at this display of emotion, nervously watching as the president sits, head in hands Finally, the President looks up and asks.......... ''How many is a Brazillion ??!' |
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22 Sep 05 - 11:51 AM (#1568466) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Keith A of Hertford 3rd joke thread had it first! |
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22 Sep 05 - 04:47 PM (#1568638) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Mr Red Still funny |
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22 Sep 05 - 06:18 PM (#1568697) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Seamus Kennedy Mr. President, what's your opinion on Roe versus Wade? I don't care how those people get out of New Orleans. Seamus |
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22 Sep 05 - 06:50 PM (#1568726) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: The Fooles Troupe Beaten by the 3rd Joke Thread again! |
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22 Sep 05 - 06:53 PM (#1568728) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Peace Dear President Bush, Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from you and understand why you would propose and support a constitutional amendment banning same sex marriage. As you said "in the eyes of God marriage is based between a man a woman." I try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination... End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some other elements of God's Laws and how to follow them. 1. Leviticus 25:44 states that I may possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians? 2. I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her? 3. I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanness - Lev.15: 19-24. The problem is how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense. 4. When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is, my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them? 5. I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2. clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself, or should I ask the police to do it? 6. A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this? Are there 'degrees' of abomination? 7. Lev.21:20 states that I may ! not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle- room here? 8. Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die? 9. I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves? 10. My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev.19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair, like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14) I know you have studied these things extensively and thus enjoy considerable expertise in such matters, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging. From a joke site. |
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22 Sep 05 - 11:54 PM (#1568956) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Barry Finn Received from a friend A lot of folks can't understand how we came to have an oil shortage here in our country. Well, there's a very simple answer. Nobody bothered to check the oil. We just didn't know, we were getting low. The reason for that is purely geographical. Our OIL is located in. Alaska California Coastal Florida Coastal Louisiana Kansas Oklahoma Pennsylvania & Texas All our DIPSTICKS are located in Washington DC Barry |
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22 Sep 05 - 11:56 PM (#1568958) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Little Hawk Har! Har! Har! I bet God finds a whole lot of that stuff in the Old Testament totally insane and laughable. I know I do. And so would anyone else who was half-reasonable... People have always interpreted holy books (and not JUST the Bible) in a manner that supported their existing views and prejudices...simply by only taking note of the specific parts they agree with, frequently out of context, and ignoring or misconstruing the rest. They have also proven highly resistant to metaphor and parable, and insisted on taking literally what was meant symbolically. Such is the habit of a lazy mind. When it comes to the Old Testament, however, it's so extraordinarily backward, vicious, primitive, and out-of-date that one has to practice selective insanity to take it seriously as the up-to-date and relevant Word of God. |
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23 Sep 05 - 12:26 AM (#1568976) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: dianavan Thanks, Peace, you made my day! You're absolutely right, Barry, Bush is a dipstick! |
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23 Sep 05 - 12:30 AM (#1568978) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: LadyJean I refer you to my thread, Watch What You Say in Texas, for my favorite Bush Joke, though, "If you can read this, you're probably not the president." Is a close second. Did you read that the National Enquirer says he's hitting the bottle again. Considering the source, I don't know if it's true. But it's interesting. |
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23 Sep 05 - 05:46 AM (#1569057) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Richard Bridge I think he'd hit anything that couldn't hit back, preferably doing so from 80,000 feet. Although whether he actually could hit it is another debate. |
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23 Sep 05 - 09:40 AM (#1569156) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Alice Barry, you left out the oil in Cheney's state, Wyoming. Most of our petroleum that we use in Montana comes from Alberta and Wyoming, which is why our governor is protesting the sudden price hike. |
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23 Sep 05 - 02:32 PM (#1569396) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Peace When ya convert money and liters to US gallons, we are paying more than Americans for gasoline. Just the way it is. |
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23 Sep 05 - 03:31 PM (#1569428) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Amos And when you convert truth into U.S. extremism, North Americans pay through the nose. A |
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23 Sep 05 - 03:42 PM (#1569439) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: frogprince Adult warning... not really the latest bush joke.., |
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23 Sep 05 - 03:45 PM (#1569441) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: GUEST,rarelamb Pretty sad when a joke threads turns into a bash Bush thread. Why so much H8ing? |
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23 Sep 05 - 03:51 PM (#1569446) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Pseudolus Who's hating, I'm too busy laughing! |
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23 Sep 05 - 05:08 PM (#1569494) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Bainbo |
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23 Sep 05 - 05:10 PM (#1569499) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Bainbo Here's one (no need for an adult warning - it's just a picture of the Commander in Chief) |
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23 Sep 05 - 05:44 PM (#1569510) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Sorcha Pretty good, Bainbo! |
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23 Sep 05 - 07:53 PM (#1569569) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: michaelr rarelamb -- because the smirking bastard is such an unmitigated disaster for this country and the world that the only way for any rational person not to cry, scream or go completely insane is to LAUGH AT THE FUCKING IDIOT! Hope that explains it. |
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23 Sep 05 - 08:19 PM (#1569584) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: The Fooles Troupe That's his tactic - if you keep laughing at him, he will not end up like JFK... |
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23 Sep 05 - 08:35 PM (#1569589) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: McGrath of Harlow I can't see quite how that would work, foolestroupe. |
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23 Sep 05 - 09:54 PM (#1569623) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: John O'L Rarelamb - The thread is called "Latest Bush Joke". What were you expecting, his wit & wisdom? Foolstroupe - Remember Idi Amin? I'm sure you remember Joh Bjelke-Peterson. We all laughed while they perpetrated atrocities unimpeded. Laughter can be a double edged sword. |
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23 Sep 05 - 10:53 PM (#1569645) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Peace "The president said much of the aid is going towards job training. And when they heard that, the people of New Orleans rose as one and said, 'Can we start with you?'" --Bill Maher "Finally today convoys of troops and aid started to arrive along the Gulf Coast. Five days after the hurricane hit. Kind of makes you miss the innocent days when Bush only sat on his ass for seven minutes. It only took him four days to make a plan, but finally today he said he had a plan. Unfortunately it's a faith-based plan that involves getting two of every animal onto a big boat." -- Bill Maher "The White House has changed their slogan from the war on terror to the global struggle against violent extremism. Well that just rolls off the tongue. Is that a good idea, giving President Bush more syllables to pronounce?" --Jay Leno |
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24 Sep 05 - 03:32 AM (#1569686) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Richard Bridge Peace, I like that middle one. |
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24 Sep 05 - 10:40 AM (#1569795) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Ron Davies Rare Lamb-- As you should know, there are all sorts of humor. I seem to recall that Clinton had more than one joke at his expense. If you're so fragile that you can't stand jokes about your boy, you'd better start hitting the aspirin bottle hard. (Or was that another of your fellow Bushite giant intellects?) |
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24 Sep 05 - 10:43 AM (#1569797) Subject: RE: BS: Latest Bush joke From: Richard Bridge Wasn't it Blair who had a dicky ticker whereas Clinton's complaint was similar but different? |
