Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...

29 Sep 05 - 10:38 PM (#1572599)
Subject: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Gypsy

Drat, when she asked me for the rest of the lyrics, just drew a brain fart. My mother sang it, it is often sung at Ren Faire.......t'enny rate, rhyming song, with the obvious vulgarism replaced by a more genteel word in each case. Tune is similar to "shaving creme" For that matter, so is the story! Anyone recall the title, so i can find the lyrics? thanks, all

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29 Sep 05 - 10:50 PM (#1572605)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Peace

What are SOME of the lyrics?

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29 Sep 05 - 10:55 PM (#1572607)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Seamus Kennedy

There once was a sailor who sat on a rock,
Shaking his fist, and abusing his...
Neighboring farmer who was chopping up sticks,
And teaching his children to play with their...
Kites and their marbles in the old days of yore,
When along came a young lady who looked like a...
Decent young woman and walked like a duck,
And said she'd discovered a new way to...
Bring up her children, to teach them to knit,
While cleaning the barnyard and shoveling the...
Contents of the pigsty, the barn and the byre,
While the dirty old farmer was pulling his...
Horse from the stable to get it to hunt,
While his wife in her boudoir was shaving her...
Legs, singing:
Sweet violets, sweeter than the rose,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over in sweet violets.

Seamus

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30 Sep 05 - 09:56 AM (#1572680)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: John MacKenzie

Pulling his horse from the stable to go to the hunt
While the lady of the manor was powdering her...
Nose from the vanity box, to prevent her from catching a fresh dose of...
Gout or lumbago.
etc...
Giok

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30 Sep 05 - 12:44 PM (#1572803)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Seamus Kennedy

Attaboy, Giok!
Let's see how long we can make this thing!

Seamus

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30 Sep 05 - 01:16 PM (#1572824)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: John MacKenzie

Full version I learned years ago..

There was an old farmer who sat on a rock
Teaching his children to play with their...
Kites and their marbles, in bold days of yore
When along came a maiden who looked like a ...
Pretty young maiden with feet like a duck
Who said she'd invented a new way to...
Educate her children to read and to write
While the boys in the farmyard were shovelling some..
Dirt and some rubbish to put on the fire
And the dirty old farmer was pulling his...
Horse from the stable to go to the hunt
And the lady of the manor was powdering her..
Nose from the vanity box
To prevent her from catching a fresh dose of..
Gout or lumbago

Another one we used to do along the same lines was..

Edinburgh Castle stands upon a rock
And if you want to pass it you've got to show your..
Cocktail Ginger Ale, half a pint of water,
Stick it up your..
Ask no questions tell no lies,
Shut your mouth and you'll catch no flies

Ah childhood innocence or what??
Giok ¦¬]

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04 Oct 05 - 10:26 PM (#1576122)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Gypsy

Ah, bless you all! will pass on to friend asapest!

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05 Oct 05 - 02:33 AM (#1576204)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Tradsinger

From Hampshire:

There once was a farmer who sat on a rick
A ranting and raving and waving his
Fist at some people who sat on his walls
A-teaching their children to play with their
Bowstrings and arrows and weapons of war
When along came a lady who looked like a
Decent young woman who walked like a duck
Who said she'd invented a new way to
Educate her children to read and to write
While down in the cowshed they were shovelling the
Contents of the cowshed from the back to the front
While the milkmaid was counting the hairs on her
Cows' fronts and cows' backs, that's the end of my song
And if you think it's dirty, you're ***** well wrong.

I learnt this from schoolfriends in about 1961!

Gwilym

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05 Oct 05 - 11:06 AM (#1576483)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: JohnB

I always finished it with "what did you think I was going to say? You dirty young bugger thats all for today.
JohnB

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06 Feb 07 - 10:25 PM (#1959855)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST,Beyond

There was an old farmer who sat on a rock
Teaching his children to play with their....
Toys and their games and all things of yore
When along came a lady who looked like a....
Incredible nice young woman she walked like a duck
She said she had found out a new way to....
Educate the children to read and to write
While the farmer's son he was cleaning out....
Muck from the stable and dung from the byre
And the dirty old farmer was pulling his....
Horse from the stable to go on a hunt....
While the farmers wife she lay powdering her
Nose in the mirror of her vanity box....
She clearly had just caught a dose of the....
Cold from the milkmaid who was still in bed
Renowned in the parish for giving boys....
Milk on the quiet which cost them 3 bits
For only one more she would show them her....
Cows in the parlor tied up in chains

Singing:
Sweet violets, sweeter than the rose,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over in sweet violets.

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07 Feb 07 - 06:08 PM (#1960464)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Sorcha

All I did was agree, yes, see the Sweet Violets threads. It was considered nasty and got delted. It was NOT intended to be nasty.

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02 May 08 - 12:56 PM (#2331300)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST

There once was a farmer who sat on a rock
Stroking his whiskers and shaking his
Fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks
Teaching the children to play with their
Kite strings and marbles in the old days of yore
Along came a woman who looked like a
Decent young lady who walked like a duck
She said shed discovered a new way to
Bring up the children to sew and to knit
Down in the stables they were shoveling
Contents of stables left after the hunt
The carman was rubbing a nice piece of
Straw from the stables and gleaning the walls
In came the are maid to play with his
Dog from the dairy where she did belong
If you think this is dirty well you're fucking well wrong

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20 May 08 - 05:52 AM (#2344982)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST,Jim

There once was a farmer who sat on a rock
Tossing and waving his great hairy
Hand at the people in the old days of yore
When along came a lady who looked like a
Descent young lady, she walked like a duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Educate her children to sew and to knit
While the lads in the stable were shovelling the
Contents of the stable, the muck and the mire
While the filthy old farmer was pulling his
Horse from the stable to go on a hunt
While lady in waiting was powdering her
Face for the occasion of tea on the grass
While the big fat policeman was wiping his
Forehead, which was sweaty the poor heated chap
He said to the green grocer don't give me no
Vegetables today man 'cause I won't be here
I'm going to see my son who is a
Student at university in Niagara Falls
He sits there all day man and plays with his
Chess set that I sent him when he turned twenty one
To stop him from touching the neighbours
Sweet violets, sweeter than the roses,
Covered all over from head to toe,
Covered all over in big piles of...
Now what did you think I was going to say?
No, you dirty bastards; that's all for today.

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20 May 08 - 07:34 AM (#2345031)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST,George Henderson

There was an old farmer who sat on some ricks
Teaching the children to play with their—
Toys and their marbles as in days of yore
When along came a lady who looked like a—
Decent young lady, she walked like a duck,
Said she'd invented a new way to—
Educate her children to sew and to knit
While the lord of the manor was shoveling the—
Contents of the stable the muck and the mire
And the lads in the cowsheds were pulling his—
Horse from the stable to go out and hunt
While his wife in her boudoir was powdering her—
Nose and arranging her vanity box
Taking precautions to ward off the—
Gout and rheumatics which shook her to bits
And the doctor's pink pills which got on her—
Nerves and made her feel such a fool
'Cause well she remembered how she played with his—
Instruments and gadgets and asked him to tea
Knowing full well he was bursting to—
Introduce his family and eat his wife's tarts,
Contenting himself with occasional—
References to his business his money and his luck
And his life's one ambition which was to learn how to—
Be a farmer's boy-oy-oy-oy, to be a farmer's boy.

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01 Aug 08 - 03:17 PM (#2403209)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST

There was an old sailor who sat on a rock
Waving his fists and abusing his......

Listen to my recording here

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08 Sep 09 - 06:29 AM (#2718707)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST,Scale

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock
He sat in the meadow a'shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick
Their feet in the water, their hands on their
Marbles and playthings as in days of yore
There came a young lady, she looked like a
Pretty young creature, she sat on the grass
She pulled up her dresses and showed us her
Ruffles and laces and white puffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children and learned them to knit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellows as girls sometimes do
To make it quite clear that she wanted to
Go for a nice pleasant stroll in the grass
Then hurry back home for a nice piece of
Ice-cream and cake at the three-layered stall
And after desert she was ready to
Go for another walk down by the dock
With any young man with a sizable
Roll of one-hundreds and a big bulge of rum
If he'd ask politely she'd show him her
Little fat dog who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tender hand with a movement so quick
Then she'd bend on over and suck on his
Soda so sweetly till she'd finished it
Then pull down her panties to rub on her
Hip that she'd bruised when she'd ran down the hall
Cause he tried to force her to lick on his
Candy. Then they both made a butter scotch
And then he spread whipped-cream all over her
Cookies that she had been baking all night
If you think this is dirty you're FUCKING-WELL RIGHT!

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02 Aug 10 - 08:13 PM (#2957050)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST

Edinburgh Castle stands upon a rock
And if you want to go there, you better show your...
Come on, lads and lasses, pie and peas for supper
But if you take a lass there, you better know how to...
Farmer went to market to buy 2 dozen eggs
22 in his basket and 2 between his...
Ladies in the garden picking roses white
What's the use of having an arse if you don't know how to...
Shine the buttons with Brasso 2 and 6 a tin.
You can buy it, or nick it from Woollies if you think they'll have any
Independent Television all so clear and bright
But if you ask my opinion I think it's a load of
Sugar in the pantry all in little bits
* friends name* uses it for rubbing on her tits

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03 Aug 10 - 05:45 PM (#2957572)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: Steve Gardham

Do all of these go to the same tune I wonder. Mine goes to the first strain of I think 'La Varsovienne'.
If anyone was going to study and compare the versions it would be helpful to them if we gave dates and places to the versions.
The following version is from Hull, UK and is 50s.

There was an old farmer who sat on a rick,
Ranting and raving and waving his --
Arms to the people who sat on the walls
Teaching their children to play with their --
Bow strings and kite strings as in days of yore
When along came a lady who looked like a --
Decent young lady who walked like a duck
Who said she's invented a new way to --
Educate children to read and to write
While their parents in the back yard were shovelling --
Refuse from the back garden round to the front
While the maids in the tavern plucked hairs from their --
Pullovers and jumpers.............................

Unfortunately I can't remember how the ******** ended.
I'm certain it wasn't 'Sweet Violets' or 'Farmer's Boy'
I seem to remember it was the old chestnut, 'If you want any more you can sing it yourself'

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03 Aug 10 - 07:34 PM (#2957633)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: maple_leaf_boy

Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST
Date: 02 May 08 - 12:56 PM

There once was a farmer who sat on a rock
Stroking his whiskers and shaking his
Fist at his neighbors who sat on their ricks
Teaching the children to play with their
Kite-strings and marbles in the old days of yore
Along came a woman who looked like a
Decent young lady who walked like a duck
She said she'd discovered a new way to
Bring up the children to sew and to knit
Down in the stables they were shoveling
Contents of stables left after the hunt
The car man was rubbing a nice piece of
Straw from the stables and cleaning the walls
In came the are maid to play with his
Dog from the dairy where she did belong
If you think this is dirty well you're fucking well wrong

End Quote

That's the version Bob Saget sings.

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17 Jan 11 - 12:14 AM (#3076141)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock.....
From: GUEST,XOAnimeLoverOX

There was an old farmer who lived on a rock
He sat in the meadow just shaking his
Fist at some boys who were down by the crick*
Their feet in the water, their hands on their
Marbles and playthings, and at half past four
There came a young lady, she looked like a
Pretty young creature, she sat on the grass
She pulled up her dress and she showed them her
Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children so they would not spit
While the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
Refuse and litter from yesterday's hunt
While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her
Eyes at the fellow down by the dock
He looked like a man with a sizeable
Home in the country with a big fence out front
If he asked her politely, she'd show him her
Little pet dog who was subject to fits
And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her
Small tender hands with a movement so quick
And then she'd bend over and suck on his
Candy so tasty, made of butterscotch
and then he'd spread whipped cream all over her
Cookies that she had left out on her shelf
If you think this is dirty, you can go fuck yourself!

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17 Apr 11 - 01:32 PM (#3136906)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: GUEST

There was an old sailor who sat on a rock,
Waving and shaking his big hairy
Fist at the ladies next door in the Ritz
Teaching the young boys to play with their
Ice-cream and marbles and all things galore
Along comes a lady who looks like a
Decent young woman who walks like a duck
Who said she's invented a new way to
Bring up the children to sew and to knit
The kids in the stables are shoveling
Susan was a nice girl with plenty of class
Who turned the boys heads when she wiggled her
Eyes at the young boys like girls sometimes do
To make it quite plain she was ready to
Go for a walk or a stroll on the dock
With any young man with a sizeable
Roll of big bills or a pretty good front
And if he talked nicely she'd show him her
Little white dog that was subject to fits
And then she'd let him grab a hold of her
Little white hand with a movement so quick
And then she'd lean over and tickle his
What did you think I was going to say?
You dirty bugger! That's all for today.

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21 Jun 11 - 07:45 AM (#3173798)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: threelegsoman

Similar to some of the above, but ending:

The squire of the manor was pulling his
Horse from the stable to go on a hunt
His wife in her boudoir was powdering her
Nose and arranging her vanity box
Taking precautions to ward off the
Gout and rheumatics that made her so stiff
She said she was avoiding another dose of
What did you think I was going to say?
NO you rude buggers that's all for today.

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03 Jul 11 - 04:07 AM (#3180553)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: GUEST,Alva

This version my father learned in North London in the 1940s,

There was once a farmer who sat on a rock,
Stroking his wihiskers and shaking his ...
Fist at the neighbours who were picking up sticks,
And teaching their children to play with their ...
Kite strings and marbles as in days of Yore,
When along came a lady who looked like a ...
Decent young lady with legs like a duck,
Who said she was learning a new way to ...
Bring up her children and teach them to knit,
Whilst out in the stables they were shovelling up ...
What was left over from yesterday's hunt,
While the gardener was having a nice piece of ...
Celery in the garden where he doth belong,
And if you think this song dirty you're jolly well wrong.

to this tune: 3/4 g ||: ceg | ceg | efe | d-(g) | beg | beg | ded :||

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28 Aug 11 - 10:50 PM (#3214292)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: GUEST,Stephen.

What is the name for this musical tradition? Thanks, Stephen.

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28 Aug 11 - 11:47 PM (#3214307)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: PHJim

I'm sure there was more, but I haven't heard it since grade 5 or 6:

Country boy, country boy, sittin' on a rock
Along came a bee and stung him on the
Cocktails, ginger ale five cents a glass
If you don't like it you can shove it up your
Ask me no questions, I'll tell you no lies
If you get hit with a bucket of shit
Be sure and close your eyes.

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06 Mar 12 - 02:16 PM (#3318312)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: GUEST

thers was one a sailor who sat on a rock shacking and waving his big hairy cock

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29 Oct 12 - 03:23 PM (#3427886)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: GUEST

The song seems to have made the round in england and the US in the early 1900s.
There was a recording in the late 1930s/early 40s of a song titled "My Girls Monkey".
I can't recall the artist but it was very similar in what you'd hear in a Benny Bell production.
Here's the lyrics as best as I can remember them:

There was an old man he lived by the cricks
He used to watch small boys play with their
Marbles and toys in the good days of yore
There came young lady who looked like
A decent young lady, she lay in the grass
And when she turned over you could see her bare (musical interlude)

The was a young lady she looked like a duck
She said she was learning a new way to
Bring up her children and teach them to knit
The boy in the bathroom was taking a
Vacuum cleaner to clean up the halls
He tripped on the the bath mat and cut of his (Musical interlude)

{There's a line here I can't remember}
{And another}
Was an old woman while striking a match
It fell in her lap and burned up her
Honest and truly this scene touched mny heart
The whole damned affair sorta smelled like a (musical interlude)

We went in the circus we went in the flock
We saw the ring master do tricks with his
Girl on the trapeze while doing her stunt
She fell on the crossbar and riblappened her
Tights were so fancy, her ruffles were blue
The monkeys went frantic and stated to (musical interlude/end)

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28 May 20 - 09:51 AM (#4055631)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: Steve Gardham

Sorry, Stephen, if you're still around...they are generally known as 'teasing songs'. They go back at least to the 18th century, probably much further. This particular one I doubt goes back much beyond 1900.

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13 May 21 - 09:18 PM (#4105967)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: the farmer sat on a rock...
From: RunrigFan

Wicked Tinkers version

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock,
He sat in the meadow a waving his fists at some boys who were down by the creek
Their feet in the water, their hands on their marbles and playthings and in days of yore
there came a young lady who looked like a
lovely young maiden, she sat on the grass
she lifted her skirts and showed us her
ruffles and laces and a neat little tuck
she told us she was learning a new way to
raise up her children and teach them to knit
while the boys in the barnyard were shoveling
straw from the stables and they worked day and night
If you think this is vulgar then bless you your right

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