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12 Nov 05 - 09:39 AM (#1603024) Subject: BS: more quirky news ! From: Emma B Newsgroups: rec.humor.oracle.d Subject: Even *greater* Britons From: SaraM Date: Fri, 06 Dec 2002 22:19:21 +1100 Did you know that, according to the British Home and Leisure Accident Surveillance System, 37 British people suffered serious tea cosy injuries in 1999 and had to be admitted to hospital for treatment? No? Well, how about the 165 who fell victim to rogue and dangerous placemat injuries? Or bread bins with their tally of 91 poor Brits needing medical attention? Pales into insignificance next to the 146 poor souls maimed and traumatized by their dust pans, doesn't it? AND the 73 talc victims, the 329 people harmed by their toilet roll holder, and the 787 imperilled by their sponge. Especially when compared to the fiendish tally rung up by those devilish English clothes baskets - 3,421 emergencies caused just by this seemingly innocent-looking article of homeware alone 8( Makes you feel almost complacent about the 311 who had bird baths attack them - well - until you realize that that figure represents a whopping 166 per cent increase over the previous year's survey. And then of course there's *leaves* - 1,171 victims fell to them this year, only marginally less than the 5,615 hospitalizations due to wellington boot accidents, the 16,662 vicious attacking armchairs lurking out there, the 5,945 unwary persons damaged by their trousers *or* the socks and tights who managed to claim a combined total of 10,773 poor defenceless Poms. These statistics were quoted on this weeks "News Quiz" (BBC Radio 4) more ammunition for all you song challangers out there.... |
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12 Nov 05 - 10:18 AM (#1603035) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: Sorcha ROF! |
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12 Nov 05 - 10:39 AM (#1603044) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: wysiwyg Emma, would you mind if this thread were combined with "I Read it in the Newspaper"? ~Susan |
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12 Nov 05 - 03:22 PM (#1603180) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: Liz the Squeak Don't laugh! It's not funny going to a hospital and having to admit you were attacked by a wine bottle and leaving on crutches...... LTS |
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12 Nov 05 - 04:05 PM (#1603190) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: alanabit This is the sort of writing, which Bill Bryson has brought off so hilariosly for the past decade or so. Thre is no doubt about it, life is a perilous maze of dustpans, door mats and toilet roll holders, all out there to get you. You have do die to be safe from these lurking terrors! |
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12 Nov 05 - 04:11 PM (#1603194) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: Metchosin and for gawds sake, beware the zippered fly.......the jaws that bite the claws that catch. |
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12 Nov 05 - 04:32 PM (#1603210) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: GUEST A must read is Quirky Quips by Gerry Casey |
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12 Nov 05 - 06:50 PM (#1603295) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: The Fooles Troupe WYSIWYG that thread (which I enjoy very much) is getting rather lengthy; I have been thinking about suggesting to you that a Part 2 be started next calendar year. |
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12 Nov 05 - 08:38 PM (#1603354) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: Emma B Susan - do you think that might be just a little bit hazardous - look what happened with a mere tea-cosy! actually - it's more "I heard it on the steam radio......!" |
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14 Nov 05 - 07:39 AM (#1604479) Subject: RE: BS: more quirky news From: JennyO And now it's the dreaded POKER DOTS! See this thread. They have already claimed Joybell as a victim! |