Lyr Add: My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him

20 Jan 99 - 03:06 PM (#54930)
Subject: Lyr Add: MY HUSBAND'S GOT NO PORRIDGE IN HIM^^
From: Wolfgang

AndyG asked for this parody more than a year ago. I didn't want to bury it in that old thread, so here's a new thread for it. Les Barker has written it. I think it's obvious what the original is. Les Barker's page is well worth a visit as is buying his records and songbooks. He has written many parodies on folk songs, but also on pop songs. I'll post as well his parody on the Wild Rover (Wild Major) in that thread and his parody on "The January Man" in an extra thread. That should be enough to get the idea.

Wolfgang

MY HUSBAND'S GOT NO PORRIDGE IN HIM
(Les Barker)

As I walked out one may morning
To view the fields and the leaves a-springing
I saw three bears come sailing in
And mother bear her hands was wringing;
Oh dear oh.
Oh dear oh.
My husband's got no porridge in him.
Oh dear oh.

His Quaker Oats I did supply;
I put three plates upon the table
But someone else was in the house
And ate as much as they was able-,
Oh dear oh....

One plate hot and one plate cold
And one plate somewhere in between 'em.
Someone had the bloomin' lot;
I didn't even have to clean 'em; Oh dear oh...

Three empty plates, and never think
To save a little for the needy;
No; the hot stuffs down the sink
The cold has blocked the soddin' bidet.
Oh dear oh...

My husband sits in his armchair
And gazes out at the infinite-,
But when he came back home today
Someone had been sitting in it;
Oh dear oh;...

There was no tea left in the pot;
Someone had been in and drank it;
Then I went into his room
And found a blonde beneath the blanket;
Oh dear oh;...

I went and I confronted him;
He played the innocent; what's more, he
Said she must have broken in;
Well, what a bloody fairy story;
Oh dear oh;...

I'm going home to mother's house
And as for him, I'll not be fretting;
He'll get his own tea now, the louse;
That's all the oats that he'll be getting.
Oh dear oh;...^^

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See My Husband's Got No Courage In Him
Husband With No Courage In Him

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20 Jan 99 - 08:27 PM (#54965)
Subject: RE: ADD: My husband's got no porrige in him
From: dick greenhaus

For comparison, check out Gruel (in the DT)

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21 Jan 99 - 05:54 AM (#55029)
Subject: RE: ADD: My husband's got no porrige in him
From: AndyG

Ah Wolfgang,

Thanks for remembering, but I have to admit that since making that request I've managed to see both Les (alone) and the Mrs Ackroyd Band live and acquire all the CD's so I've got access to all the recorded stuff. I've not got the funding to buy the books yet though.

AndyG

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25 Jul 01 - 02:24 PM (#514421)
Subject: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: GUEST,LynnT

Last Saturday, on the Mary Cliff show on PBS in Washington DC, I heard a parody that nearly made me crash the car, I was laughing so hard:

As I walked out on a May morning
To see the (missing) and the birds a-singing
I saw three bears a-passing by,
And one of them her hands was wringing,
"O-Dear-O, O-Dear-O, Me husband's got no porridge in him, O-dear-o."

It went on from there, telling the 3-bears story from Mama Bear's view, and ending with Mama going home to her own mother's house after "finding a blond beneath the blanket" -- when Hubby tried to deny it all, and suggests the girl might have broken in -- why should she believe such a "fairy story". Wonderful stuff, and it's easy to see how the song grew once the kicker chorus came up. The female singer and chorus even caught the style of Maddy Prior's "Me Husband's Got No Courage In Him".

Does anyone know who wrote this, and maybe have the words?

Many thanks!

Lynn T

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25 Jul 01 - 02:37 PM (#514436)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: McGrath of Harlow

At a guess I'd say it's either Sid Kipper or Les Barker.

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25 Jul 01 - 02:46 PM (#514441)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: MMario

It's credited to Norma Waterson

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25 Jul 01 - 02:55 PM (#514445)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: MMario

lyrics are here

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25 Jul 01 - 03:01 PM (#514450)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Liz the Squeak

It's Les, sung by Norma. Be still my beating heart, only another month before I see him again......

LTS

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25 Jul 01 - 05:09 PM (#514529)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Uncle_DaveO

I have a tape with it.

She goes out to "view the fields and leaves a-springin'", as I recall. I could be wrong (handsome admission), but I think so.

I'll rustle around and try to find the tape, to post the words.

DAve Oesterreich

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25 Jul 01 - 09:23 PM (#514671)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: 8_Pints

Dave is correct.

Another wonderful Les Barker parody!

Bob vG

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26 Jul 01 - 04:06 PM (#515206)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: GUEST

refresh

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26 Jul 01 - 06:40 PM (#515357)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Morticia

I do this one and most people go.."whattttt???" so more credit to you,Lyn.

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26 Jul 01 - 07:17 PM (#515393)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: Jeri

Click here for a thread with the lyrics.
It was written by Les Barker.

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26 Jul 01 - 10:08 PM (#515523)
Subject: RE: Lyr Req: Me Husband's Got No Porridge In Him
From: GUEST,LynnT

Thanks for the fast response!

I'm well familiar with the wonderful parodies done by Grit Laskin (who can forget the Photographer's Song -- "We photographed beneath the bridge and up against the wall -- if you've never photographed on a Saturday night you've not photographed at all" or "Cosmic and Freaky", Grit's California takeoff on Pleasant and Delightful (which I understand is itself the one serious song written by a major parodist). But Les Barker is a new name to me -- I'll be sure to look up his stuff.

I was going to offer up the words to C&F as part-payment for this new arrow soon to be in my quiver, but I see they're already in the Database. Y'all are just too well-versed for me!

Thanks again, LynnT

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31 Jan 22 - 03:11 PM (#4134608)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him
From: Joe Offer

Are the lyrics Wolfgang posted the lyrics Les Barker wrote, or have there been changes?

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31 Jan 22 - 07:08 PM (#4134653)
Subject: RE: Lyr Add: My Husband's Got No Porridge in Him
From: MoorleyMan

That's the lyrics I too have, Joe.
However, I had a note that the "Three empty plates" verse was attributed to "Tom Baxter", but I can't check as i don't have access to the Les volume "Aire dale" where it's printed.

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