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BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada

02 Jan 06 - 02:22 AM (#1639392)
Subject: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: dianavan

On another thread, someone stated that the U.S. has plans to invade many countries. I laughed it off but:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/12/29/AR2005122901412_pf.html

...I'm still laughing but wonder how much these strategists get paid. I think I'm in the wrong business.


02 Jan 06 - 02:57 AM (#1639400)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: John O'L

A 94 page document. I don't think they got paid much.


02 Jan 06 - 03:43 AM (#1639409)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: John O'L

Come to think of it, the strategy for invading Iraq probably came from a document considerably smaller than that.


02 Jan 06 - 04:59 AM (#1639424)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: JohnInKansas

Not to attempt to trivialize the article, but every officer in the US military, before becoming eligible for promotion to "Field Grade" (Major or Lt Col or above for the Army) must attend the Command and General Staff School. Part of the curriculum there is to prepare a "strategic plan" for an "invasion" of some country. These "school papers" would normally be classified, quite probably secret, just to minimize the risk that some editor would get wind of them and write a story like the one cited about a current plan.

The same C&GS school also trains large numbers of members of "friendly nations" who do the same sort of "studies." It's claimed, apocyphally, that Japanese students trained there for several years using an attack on the US as their "lesson plan," and that in fact(?) the plan used for the assault on Pearl Harbor was essentially as prepared there (but nobody wants to confirm that).

Having a plan doesn't necessarily imply any intent to use it. It's just a matter of good sense to continually analyse the defenses of both our friends and our potential enemies. I would expect that there also was (and is) a plan to defend Canada, or at least to assist them, in the event they are attacked by ._._._.. (fill in the blank with each of the contries one might guess might be a threat). There likely would be several - one for each possible threat, regardless of how unlikely the development of the threat might be.

There almost certainly is a plan (or several) for repelling an attack by Canada on the US.

There probably are (there should be) also plans for attacking each major US city, just in case someone "unfriendly" happens to take one over.

As long as Canada remains the largest supplier of crude oil imported by the US, and supplies it at a cost less than the cost of an invasion, Canada should have no reason for great concern about an invasion by the US. Unless we elect some nutcase for a president, or unless an evil group of megalomaniac generals stages a coupe - or learns to manipulate Congress and the President...

Sleep well, Canadian friends.

John


02 Jan 06 - 06:21 AM (#1639458)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

JohninKansas said, "There almost certainly is a plan (or several) for repelling an attack by Canada on the US."

Too late! We are already among you. Hahahahaha!!!!!


02 Jan 06 - 06:45 AM (#1639473)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST

Eh?


02 Jan 06 - 08:07 AM (#1639510)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: kendall

We tried it in 1812. We failed. Get over it.


02 Jan 06 - 08:36 AM (#1639527)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

My father was a field grade officer in the reserve Candadian Forces Regiment Grey and Simcoe Forresters. For 3 consecutive summers when I was a we kid they would attack Meaford Ontario.

sIx


02 Jan 06 - 08:49 AM (#1639532)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: freda underhill

Raiding the Icebox - US plans to subdue Canada


Why invade Canada?


02 Jan 06 - 08:53 AM (#1639536)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

Thanks Freda!

Whew .... I noticed an arrow on that map doesn't point to the Maritimes.

sIx


02 Jan 06 - 09:22 AM (#1639552)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: freda underhill

..gulp!!


02 Jan 06 - 09:34 AM (#1639561)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

Oh, hell, we tried again just after the Civil War, too. Some Irish veterans wanted to capture Canada and swap it to the Brits for Ireland. And no, I'm not kidding.

Besides, when I was in the Army (1963 to 1971) the US had ALREADY been invaded. Detroit, Chicago, Boston, DC, New York City, Rochester, Cleveland and other cities had been nuked and Army Group SANT LAURENKO had captured both sides of the St. Lawrence Seaway, including Quebec, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa, and Blind River. From the west, Vancouver, Victoria and Seattle/Tacoma were radioactive ash and there was severe fighting in the Canadian and US Rockies (Alaska, YT and NWT had long ago fallen). In the South, a strike force was coming up the Mississippi and Memphis, St. Louis, New Orleans, Little Rock, and Paducah (really!) were glowing heaps of rubble.

Yessir, them Aggressor Forces were pure hell on wheels! I remember one time we had to go out with our rifles and machine guns and some steaks & beer and defend a city park from Aggressors who were coming up the creek from the Mississippi. They didn't give us any bullets, but we managed to both repel the invaders and finish off the steaks & beer in a good military manner.


02 Jan 06 - 09:38 AM (#1639563)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: JJ

C'mon, everyone knows Canada will be destroyed from within.

Didn't you see "H2O?"


02 Jan 06 - 10:15 AM (#1639584)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

You think Jim Carey is really human? He was bio-cloned from Alan Thick and Suzanne Sommers!!! Not only do we have regular forces stationed in you major population centres, like Lorne Michaels in New York and Celine Dion (truly sorry abut that one) in Vegas, but we have bands of roving spies like the Cirque du Soleil, awaiting orders from the supreme commander.... wait for it... William Shatner.

Afraid yet?


02 Jan 06 - 10:17 AM (#1639587)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

Well...well...OH YEAH?????


02 Jan 06 - 10:38 AM (#1639597)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Hey... if youse guys are planning to invade, could you give us a few days notice so's we can tidy up a bit. Nothing more embarrassing than company showing up unexpected when the place is cluttered eh. Oh yeah - pick up some beer on yer way cause, like, we got lots a steaks and spuds and charcoal for the BBQ.


02 Jan 06 - 11:19 AM (#1639619)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: kendall

Rubbish can be so funny.


02 Jan 06 - 11:23 AM (#1639622)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,War

I'm all for it. We need cheaper wood. Why let the beavers have it?


02 Jan 06 - 12:15 PM (#1639672)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Once Famous

We don't need to invade Canada. But if they are nice to us, we will still protect them.


02 Jan 06 - 12:20 PM (#1639675)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

Would you like me to get you a coffee or anything MG ??

sIx


02 Jan 06 - 01:32 PM (#1639730)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Raptor

The last time the U.S. tried to invade us was in 1912. But We're still using the same weapons we had then!!!

They've already got our Tim Hortons

Raptor(hideing under his desk)


02 Jan 06 - 01:35 PM (#1639733)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

Tims Horton's .... kicks (pinky) Dunkin' Donuts ass !!

sIx


02 Jan 06 - 01:41 PM (#1639739)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Metchosin

Watch out for those Chinese or Russian tanks rolling over the tundra. LOL But your right MG, the US doesn't need to to invade Canada, why invade when you can buy it all outright. Its not as messy.


02 Jan 06 - 01:41 PM (#1639740)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: leftydee

I think Tim Horton's IS a Canadian plot. The doughnuts and coffe are fine..... but have you tasted the food? It is inedible. Our McDonald's , on the other hand, is clogging your veins as we speak!

Keep your stick on the ice! (to those of you who don't know... this is Canadian for "Have a nice day")


02 Jan 06 - 01:49 PM (#1639749)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

I will vote for anyone who brings a Tim Horton's to Pocatello, Idaho.


02 Jan 06 - 01:52 PM (#1639750)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Ebbie

I thought it meant that if your stick is on the ice you can't hit me with it. *G*


02 Jan 06 - 01:53 PM (#1639752)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Protect us? Don't you watch "24"? If it wasn't for Kiefer, that there nukylar missile woulda blown the bejeepers outta yas. I see on the TV that he'll be back soon ta save youse again at the last minute in the last episode.

Rubbish, Kendall? If you don't believe me about Jim Carrey, just look at him and Martin Short real close. See? Proof that we are gettin better at bio-cloning. Just wait until we bio-clone Neil Young and Alanis Morrissette. Now, buddy, that'd be right f***in ironic (moronic?). Psychological torture me arse.


02 Jan 06 - 02:03 PM (#1639759)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,Kent Ovation

Raptor, you moron! You're out by an entire century. It was 1812 not 1912.


02 Jan 06 - 02:29 PM (#1639774)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: bobad

"I will vote for anyone who brings a Tim Horton's to Pocatello, Idaho."

Tim Horton's is Canada's fifth column. The plan is to obesify and clog the arteries of the part of the population that is not already in this condition, we will then roll in as you roll over.

You've been warned.


02 Jan 06 - 02:39 PM (#1639777)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

Okay, so you're not eligible for office. I hereby change my offer to:

I'll give a big ol' sloppy, passionate KISS to anyone* who brings Tim Horton's to Pocatello, Idaho.



















*who is female and doesn't frighten the cows.


02 Jan 06 - 02:52 PM (#1639787)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

In 1866. Not 1812.


02 Jan 06 - 03:28 PM (#1639820)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: artbrooks

Well, strictly speaking, the US invasion in 1812 was of the British colony in North America, not of the nation of Canada (which didn't exist until the late 1860s, or something like that...aren't there several dates that mark "independence"?) and the abortive "invasion" in 1866 was by Irish veterans of the Northern and Southern armies. Besides, who wants Canada? The US has entirely enough cold and snow as it is.

BTW, as best as I can remember, we didn't develop any invasion plans in Command and General Staff College. That is the majors' course, and focuses more on battalion and brigade-level tactics and logistics. Hypothetical invasion plans would be more likely to be a part of the Army War College curriculum. AWC is the colonels' course, and has a more strategic focus.


02 Jan 06 - 03:42 PM (#1639830)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Metchosin

You want a Tim Horton's? Its not a Canadian company, go lobby Wendy's, they own it lock stock and barrel. I'm sure Dave would kiss you but I believe he's dead.


02 Jan 06 - 03:46 PM (#1639834)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

Hell, we don't even have a Starbucks here. (Not that I miss it, mind you.)

So, if I kissed Wendy....


02 Jan 06 - 03:50 PM (#1639836)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

'"We've got thousands of Canadians in the U.S. right now, in place secretly," he said. "They could be on your street. We've sent people like Celine Dion and Mike Myers to secretly infiltrate American society."' (from the links by Freda)

Heed this well.


02 Jan 06 - 03:53 PM (#1639841)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: artbrooks

Who are Celine Dion and Mike Myers?


02 Jan 06 - 04:37 PM (#1639863)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Mr. and Mrs. Dr. Evil. Now, that's a real Canadian joke. Seriously, that's cracking me up.. hehehehehe........... I can't stop laughing!!!!!!! hehehehehehehe....... sorry Rene.... heheheheh....


02 Jan 06 - 06:01 PM (#1639920)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

Let's not fight the War of 1812 which is officially named the War of 1812-1814--even when it lasted until 1815. It is much too confusing. Like having a Hundred Years War that lasts for 116 years. Anyway, if y'all do invade us you will be held up for a long time at Customs.


02 Jan 06 - 06:09 PM (#1639930)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

In fact, the last time I went through Canadian Customs I wanted to invade Canada.


02 Jan 06 - 10:14 PM (#1640079)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Rapparee

Yeah, and Canadian Customs makes it damned near impossible to take a hunting rifle into Canada, much less a tank!!


02 Jan 06 - 10:50 PM (#1640099)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

Metchosin ... well, ya your correct ... Tim Hortons merged with Wendy's, but TH is managed, and operated out of their Head Office in Oakville, Ontario .... in spirit Tim's is still truly Canadian, like professional hockey.

The U.S. .... not long before it is owned by China.

sIx


02 Jan 06 - 11:41 PM (#1640131)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: LadyJean

At some time in the 19th century, a group of Americans hoping to liberate Canada, invaded near Odelltown in Montreal. I know this because I have family of a rather distant sort who settled there, and I made inquiries about the place.
(Didn't find them, though. Any Canadian catters knowing anyone named McFall from Odelltown, tell them they have a cousin in Pittsburgh.)


03 Jan 06 - 08:12 AM (#1640285)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST

Hi Martin Gibson, what are you protecting us from...?


03 Jan 06 - 08:19 AM (#1640291)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,Dave

A National Lampoon MArtin Gibson Vacation, where Martin Gibson takes his family on a tour of the world spouting rascsit obscenties in every capital in the globe until someone lamps him one for being a complete tool. The film ends with Gibson being plunged over Niagra Falls by some pissed off Englishman, an outraged arab and a band of crazed canucks.


03 Jan 06 - 08:23 AM (#1640294)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,Roll credits

National Lampoon Martin Gibson vacation

CAST

Harry the Whelk    as    George W Bush
George W Bush      as    Harry the Whelk
Martin Gibson      as    Rascist tool
Imaginary friend   as    Mrs Gibson
Micheal Moore      as    Himself
The Canadian national hockey team    as    themselves
Vinny Jones       as    Pissed off Englishman
Martin Gibson      as    Mohammed Gibson


03 Jan 06 - 08:26 AM (#1640297)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,Directors commentary

"this is where I show how much of I tool I am in which I visit Jordan and call everybody a turban wearing camel-fucker,........ in this scene they're inserting my head into a camel as Imaginary wife and kids look on"


03 Jan 06 - 02:22 PM (#1640493)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Charmion

The last Fenian raids were in 1870 and 1871 -- two in 1870 in the Eastern Townships of Quebec (as mentioned by Lady Jean), and the 1871 raid in Manitoba. Fortunately, the Montreal and Eastern Townships militia companies repelled the 1870 raids without much to-do, and the 1871 raid fizzled out in the bald-headed prairie.

The most important fall-out of the Fenian raids was a sharp getting-with-the-program effect in the Department of Militia and Defence. Most of Canada's infantry and cavalry (armour nowadays) regiments date from the 1860s, but the end of the Civil War caused a considerable slackening of attention to the security issue. Confederation was a big distraction, with a new level of government to blame for not spending enough money in the right places, so for Militia supporters the Fenians were actually a welcome sight, even paddling across the Niagara River.

Defence Plan 1 and War Plan Red are hardly news in Ottawa, I'm afraid -- in fact, I remember declassifying a copy of Defence Plan 1 in 1987. After all, before the Ogdensburg Agreement, Canada and the U.S. had quite contradictory world views and not very much in common at the political level.

Come to think of it, has that changed do you think?


03 Jan 06 - 03:24 PM (#1640544)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: beardedbruce

Charmion,

And why SHOULD Canadians have the best interests of the US at the top of their list? Or US the best interest of Canadians?

Shouldn't a country make decisions based on what it believes are in its own best interests?


03 Jan 06 - 03:42 PM (#1640553)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Nope. Not us Canucks. We make a lot of decisions based on the best interests of everyone, including youse guys. You're welcome.


03 Jan 06 - 05:04 PM (#1640613)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Donuel

Just because the current US administration has made swipes against Canada for their meager support for our war doesn't mean we will invade.

However

We will in 5 years institute a policy for any American or Canadian who wish to cross the border to have a passport and submit to inspection.

btw the friendly US fire that killed Canadian troops is all but forgotten.


03 Jan 06 - 05:28 PM (#1640632)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

I was havin some good fun on this thread, you ignorant fuck. What's not forgotten is the bullshit that followed... bullshit from assholes like you. Jaysus... I gotta leave now... you are some fucking lucky you did not say that to my face. If I could reach through cyberspace... you ignorant FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


03 Jan 06 - 05:36 PM (#1640641)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peter T.

It is pointless to plan to invade Canada. America already owns it from a distance, and allows some not very important illusions of freedom to prevail as minor irritants. Why make the obvious even more obvious?

America could take the country in about two hours. It is a joke.   Any students working on this as a plan are wasting their time. There are only about 10 cities worth taking, and with the exception of the ones in the middle are within twenty minutes flying time in a jet of the American border.

Curiously enough, Mexico would be much much harder. It would be easy to invade and conquer, but difficult to keep under control.

yours,

Peter T.


03 Jan 06 - 05:48 PM (#1640649)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

U.S. air force Maj. Harry Schmidt, one of the pilots involved in the "friendly fire" incident that killed four Canadians in Afghanistan, was found guilty of dereliction of duty on July 6, 2004, in what the U.S. military calls a "non-judicial hearing" before a senior officer. The maximum penalty he had faced was 30 days of house arrest.

Lest we forget.

Again, allow me to say, as a polite, well mannered, mild mannered Canuck.... FUCK YOU.

If we are to be invaded, it had better be by better than you. You insignificant FUCK!


03 Jan 06 - 05:53 PM (#1640652)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

I hope all you Yanks realize that most Canucks truly consider you as friends and brothers in arms for the most part. Personally, I certainly do, except for Donuel, who appears to be an ignorant fuck.

gbyegnu


03 Jan 06 - 06:03 PM (#1640659)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

Gnu, you forgot to say it properly: Peter T, FUCK YOU, PLEASE, EH?


03 Jan 06 - 06:11 PM (#1640666)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: artbrooks

MAJ Schmidt was given a reprimand and fined $5000 for derelection of duty. He was also removed permanently from flight status and returned to his inactive duty National Guard position. While his seems insignificant on the face of it, this is basically career-ending. He will never receive another promotion and will be forced out under the US military's "up or out" policy.


03 Jan 06 - 08:17 PM (#1640765)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Ah... for what it's worth, my apologies. Just got a bit... ah... stunned as me arse. gnightgnu.


04 Jan 06 - 07:50 AM (#1641026)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST

Can't don't know whether the Japanese did any work on attacking the US at a US staff college but the attack on Pearl Harbor owed a great deal to the Royal Naval attack on the Italian fleet in Toranto, Southern Italy, so it doesn't seem likely to me.


04 Jan 06 - 05:37 PM (#1641321)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: robomatic

This story made it to the front page of the Anchorage Daily News today (below the fold.

Reasons include:

(10) Already invaded by Royal Canadian Air Force (oh wait, that was the Royal Canadian Air Farce).

(9) Payback for Jim Carrey and Kids In The Hall.

(8) Rumor of hidden additional original Star Trek episode in William Shatner's old house.

(7) Total misunderstanding of what is meant by "The Maritimes".

(6) Canadian Flag song has too many verses.

(5) Too many yanks arrested for driving 50 mph instead of 50 kph.

(4) High export duties on Molson.

(3) If Mexicans can do it to us, why can't we do it to you?

(2) "As It Happens" too similar to "All Things Considered".

(1) Togedder ve chall RULE DE VORLD!


04 Jan 06 - 06:58 PM (#1641380)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

I can actually envision the invasion happening when enough people figure out that Shatner is Canadian. And he lives in the US. We will take the heat for that--sorry, LH, but that's the way it is, buddy.


04 Jan 06 - 06:59 PM (#1641381)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: artbrooks

Couldn't we just arrange to deport him?


04 Jan 06 - 07:08 PM (#1641393)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

NO. You even think of that and WE will invade YOU!


04 Jan 06 - 07:34 PM (#1641413)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,William Shatner

That's droll, Peace. Amusing. Even fairly witty. It got a chuckle out of me. Not a big chuckle, mind you, but a chuckle nonetheless. I rather relish having a domicile in both nations, that of my birth and that of my subsequent career on stage, onscreen, and in the recording studio. I never pass up a chance to remind people that "I AM CANADIAN (!)"...and that I am proud of it. Quietly proud. If the USA were to invade Canada...I would be...torn. Yes, indeed...torn between conflicting loyalties, just as American families were torn apart by the Civil War. Tragic stuff!

I think, though, that there is little risk of an American invasion of Canada at this time.

As for deportation, no country would have the bad judgement to deport me at this time, when "Boston Legal" is winning me rave reviews and my breakthrough album "Hasbeen" continues to enlarge the artistic boundaries of popular music into previously unthought of dimensions.

Perish the thought. Regardless of the naysayers, I will continue to go boldly forward wherever the Muse leads me. Does that satisfy your concerns, mister?


04 Jan 06 - 07:37 PM (#1641418)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

Yesssir, Mr Shatner.

(LH, I think they have taken him hostage and are trying to trade him for the tar sands.)


04 Jan 06 - 07:40 PM (#1641424)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

I think it really IS Shatner.

Mr Shatner? WHY do you want to put relish on your domicile?

(LH, what IS his domicile, and should I be asking him that question in public?)


04 Jan 06 - 07:44 PM (#1641432)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Is that where Sasha Yarr bit the big one in the big oil blob? Was that her name... the absolutely stunning blonde babe? If she invades, I surrender.


04 Jan 06 - 07:45 PM (#1641435)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,Bucky Beaver

I would be happy if they would just trade him for Paul Martin and Stephen Harper. Then we could do away with the damned political parties, ALL of them, and make Shatner Emperor of Canada for life!

Think of the money we'd save.

Shatner is basically a fun guy. And he's a Jew. It's time a Jew got a chance to rule Canada, I think. He was born in Quebec, so that will keep the French happy. He would be good for the Arts.

It's better than having Celine Dionne as our Queen, isn't it?

It's wiser than handing power over to Don Cherry, who would probably have us at war within 6 weeks or less.

I'm for it.


05 Jan 06 - 01:31 PM (#1642141)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,Zarkon

That was Tasha Yar. See her biography here:

Tasha Yar

"Well-trained in martial arts and athletics, her favorite pastimes were aikido and Parrises squares, and she participated in ship-board competitions. Having grown up hardened to sentimentality, she found it a struggle to express her femininity — although the Tsiolkovsky virus allowed her to share an intimacy with Data once, an intimacy he treasured with a small hologram from her memorial tape, though he was forced to disclose the encounter during his trial for sentient rights a year later."

I did not find her very attractive. She seemed like a man trapped in a woman's body to me.


05 Jan 06 - 01:46 PM (#1642155)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Hmmm... those pics don't seem to do her justice, I mean, not just as I remember. She looks gaunt. I would agree with you from those pics.


06 Jan 06 - 12:51 AM (#1642660)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: LadyJean

I thought Canadians didn't like being called Canucks. I was at summer camp when some of the kids discovered that, and of course harassed the Canadian campers with the term. The Canadians responded with yankee, which wasn't a problem for those who came from states north of the Mason Dixon line. But it had a highly satisfactory affect on kids from the south.
I know folks from Newfoundland like to be called Newfoundlanders, not Newfs or Newfies. Do the Canadians have any plans to invade Newfoundland?


06 Jan 06 - 04:15 AM (#1642697)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST

Newfoundland and Labrador are already a part of Canada.

Thats like asking if the U.S. plans to invade Alaska.


06 Jan 06 - 10:54 AM (#1642768)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST

I hear they're gonna do a prequel series to Hawaii 5-0, it's gonna be called Alaska 4-9.


06 Jan 06 - 11:20 AM (#1642794)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

Many people can call me a Canuck and it doesn't bother me a bit. But it's one of those remarks like 'sonuvabitch'--depends lots on the tone of voice and look in the eyes.

I understand that there were plans in place to invade Newfoundland, and actually a Canuck Expeditionary Force landed on the Rock way back in 1978, but we kissed the cod instead. Worst hangover I ever had.

It's one of those things I think. If you are 'part' of the community of people and they know you feel good about that, then calling someone a Newfie is not necessarily insulting.


06 Jan 06 - 11:25 AM (#1642805)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

Incidentally, an equivalent type of thing is a Newfoundlander calling someone a mainlander. The vote to join the Canadian confederation took place in 1949, and the election was as close as the last Presidential election in the US. One of those 50.1 to 49.9 things.


06 Jan 06 - 11:32 AM (#1642814)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

"kissed the cod. Worst hangover I ever had. "

... been there myself.

When it was my wifes's turn to kiss the cod ... she turned the tables around and did it in such a 'profound' manner she had the whole place in an uproar.

sIx


06 Jan 06 - 11:34 AM (#1642818)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Donuel

this is just a bunch of Canadian Bacon


06 Jan 06 - 01:17 PM (#1642876)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Charmion

And your point would be what, Donuel? By the way, we call that stuff "back bacon".


06 Jan 06 - 01:34 PM (#1642887)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Little Hawk

Explain "kiss the cod" please.


06 Jan 06 - 01:47 PM (#1642898)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

Kissing the cod is part of a ceremony that is provided by well-meaning friends for mainlanders when they visit The Rock for the first time. It involves jigging a cod fish, hauling it up into the boat, kissing it and then washing away the kiss with a few/lotsa slugs of screech. Screech is a cross between pure alcohol and pure alcohol. In a pinch, you can do away with the cod and just have the screech. But it jus' ain't the same.


06 Jan 06 - 01:47 PM (#1642899)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Kissing the cod.... One can become an honourary Newf by being "Screeched In". Nowadays, at the bars, you have a big drink of Screech (black rum) and kiss a fake cod or ring a bell and everyone cheers. They even give you a piece paper. All very touristy.

A real Screeching In has some variations. The worst consists of consuming a quart of rum and then, bending over backwards to kiss the cod. If you lose your balance, you're SOL. No papers... except in the morning.


06 Jan 06 - 01:56 PM (#1642902)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Ahhh... another variation, Peace. I was not aware of that one. Sounds a little easier to take than the one I endured on The Granite Planet back in the late '70's.

BTW... if called a "Mainlander", check for a twinkle in the eye. If there is none, move along. And, if you are ever in Labrador, The Big Land, never call anyone a Newf, Newfie or Newfoundlander. Labradorians can be quite offended, even though most of them are Newfs.


06 Jan 06 - 01:58 PM (#1642904)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Little Hawk

You'd never get me to do it. Even one beer leaves me feeling worse off than if I had not drunk it. Kissing the cod, as described, would probably kill me....and it would be a truly stupid and miserable way to die as far as I'm concerned.

Shane, though...Shane would leap at the opportunity, I'm sure.


06 Jan 06 - 04:31 PM (#1642985)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Beer

Gnu, Peace,
An up date. Because of the moratorium on the cod, you now have to kiss the Puffin's arse.


06 Jan 06 - 04:36 PM (#1642987)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

gnu .... we were screeched in at a private party, (ok not in Newfoundland but here in New Brunswick) ... attended by, and of course the master of ceremonies for kissing the Cod, Frank Taylor, known as the Flying Scotsman ... being a New Brunswicker you must be aware of this guy.

sIx


06 Jan 06 - 04:43 PM (#1642990)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Frank... yeeeees! I first saw Frank in Fredericton back in the late '70's. Finest kind. He's Hran player, too. Couldn't ask for better than that eh??!!


06 Jan 06 - 04:50 PM (#1642995)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: number 6

A great guy he is ... my wife being a Scots lass herself certainly wasn't going to let this guy get away with the last laugh .... he roared so hard he actually fell down.

sIx


06 Jan 06 - 04:57 PM (#1642998)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Dave (the ancient mariner)

MMMMMMMMmmmmm Screeeech!!!!    A fine drink mates. We have devised a plan to stop the US invasion using a most secret Candian weapon; (Beer and Restaurants with good food) Whilst the US troops are refreshing themselves we will activate a series of one way street markers that will direct them back to the border which will be heavily disguised by signs saying "Welcome To Canada" hopefully they will end up invading themselves. ;-)


06 Jan 06 - 06:06 PM (#1643042)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: artbrooks

Threaten to invade the US with Molsons and Labatts...we'll surrender quietly if you promise to take it away again.


06 Jan 06 - 07:22 PM (#1643054)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

I partly agree with that. But not every big brewery makes horse piss.


07 Jan 06 - 10:02 AM (#1643319)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Madeleine

the usa gov't can't invade canada. hollywood already has.


07 Jan 06 - 10:34 AM (#1643354)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

When we are taken over, will we be Yanucks? Yankans?


07 Jan 06 - 11:06 PM (#1643912)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: LadyJean

I had a housemate, once, who was a Newfoundlander, when I mentioned this to Canadians, they always said, "He isn't a Canadian, he's a Newf." usually followed by a comment on how Newfoundlanders were all drunken bums who lived on welfare. Hence my comment on Canadian plans to invade Newfoundland.
He never told me about screech. He was a recovering alcoholic, so he didn't drink anything except vast amounts of coffee. (I made certain threats involving a very swishy gay neighbor if he ever touched booze.) But he was a very proud Canadian.


07 Jan 06 - 11:11 PM (#1643913)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: Peace

IMO, you spoke to the wrong Canadians, LadyJean.


08 Jan 06 - 12:44 AM (#1643976)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,War

Maybe the Cajuns will take it back.


08 Jan 06 - 10:54 AM (#1644118)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: GUEST,DB

Presumably, Tony 'the poodle' Blair will give his full support.


08 Jan 06 - 11:07 AM (#1644122)
Subject: RE: BS: U.S. plans to invade Canada
From: gnu

Not thanks. Those old subs of yours were enough help. Say "Hi" to Beth for me eh?