BS: That's it! I'm outta here!

12 Apr 06 - 09:46 PM (#1716845)
Subject: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Yeah, you heard me right. I am fed up to the gills and I am leaving. I've had all I can take. Enough is enough. I don't care what anyone says, either. You can beg and plead, you can get down on your knees, but I am leaving! And that's final.

Yup. I am just gonna walk out of this damn place once and for all, go downtown and have a stiff drink, and kiss this stinkin' place goodbye.

Ya wanna know why? Well, for starters, it's a friggin' mess here.   Disgusting. I wasn't brought up to be a damn housemaid, and I can't take it anymore. There's stuff layin' all over the place, cigar ash everywhere, it smells bad, it's a disaster.

Next thing is, the rent is too high. Way too high. Then there are the neighbours...a buncha loudmouth human bozos that hate chimps and got no respect. Then there's the view. It sucks. You wanna know what I see when I look out the window? A brick wall and a drainpipe. You wanna know what some jerk wrote on that wall? A lotta vulgar stuff, that's what. Somebody wrote on it "Chimps are living proof that gorillas f*ck abominable snowmen"!!! I think I know who that someone was and he is gonna pay. Bigtime.

It's time I got a new office anyway. I'm thinkin' of a nice loft that overlooks the lake. Or maybe a place closer to the park. I need a few trees to climb now and then.

Boy, am I sick of the same-old same-old around here.

So like I said, I'm outta here. I'm goin' to Roscoe's right now and have a cold one. Don't come lookin' for me cos I ain't home. Not after I hit the "submit message" button here. I'm leavin'. I'm exiting stage left. I'm gonna put my lips together and blow.

Consider me gone.

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12 Apr 06 - 09:57 PM (#1716852)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

Gee ... to bad, you'll be missed .... adios monkey ... btw, don't come out this way to New Brunswick ok.

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:00 PM (#1716857)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bee-dubya-ell

He's not gone for good. He's just accompanying Martin Gibson on his European vacation. They are both from Chicago, you know.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:02 PM (#1716860)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Once Famous

No, Chongo is not from Chicago. He may say he is but he is from Mesopotamia.

He is not allowed in Chicago.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:02 PM (#1716861)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

Oh yeah ... I should have known better ... good God, could you imagine having those 2 next to ya on the flight over ... Jeeeesh. :}

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:02 PM (#1716862)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: SINSULL

Don't let the door hit you in the...
God, how I hate monkies.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:04 PM (#1716864)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

Oh, now you've done it, SINSULL. He's not a monkey, he's an ape! (He just hates it when people do that.)

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12 Apr 06 - 10:04 PM (#1716865)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

Oh ... then your not going with the monkey !!

Then he really is outta here.

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:05 PM (#1716866)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

Not again! Shee-it. Gonna be hell to pay around here.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:06 PM (#1716869)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

I guess so ... but I ask how?

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:10 PM (#1716879)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: SINSULL

Monkey see, monkey do.
More fun than a barrel of monkeys.
Monkey on your back.
Hey Hey we're the monkies...
Chunky Monkey

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12 Apr 06 - 10:12 PM (#1716882)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

LoL ... good one Sinsull!

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:17 PM (#1716886)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: SINSULL

Kind of pathetic actually. I have been reduced to baiting an imaginary monkey. Par for the course today.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:18 PM (#1716889)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

I know exactly how you feel Sinsull ... pathetic it was, but after today it's a refreshing welcome banter.

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:25 PM (#1716902)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

He may be imaginary to you, SINSULL, but he has become pretty real to those of us who know and love him...kinda like Sherlock Holmes or Bugs Bunny or Wile E. Coyote.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:27 PM (#1716906)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: SINSULL

Little Hawk? Did you just say that Chongo is a real MONKEY!!!????!!!! You're in trouble now. Duck! Wooden banana missiles.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:27 PM (#1716907)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: number 6

or like .... Edger Bergen and Charley McCarthy. :}

sIx

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12 Apr 06 - 10:28 PM (#1716909)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

I never said he was a "monkey". Do I look stupid? ;-)

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12 Apr 06 - 10:30 PM (#1716911)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: The Fooles Troupe

No - you only ACT that way... :-)

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12 Apr 06 - 10:44 PM (#1716920)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bill D

Too bad only the ape is leaving, and not a bunch of the baboons.

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12 Apr 06 - 10:52 PM (#1716928)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Janie

Ouch!

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13 Apr 06 - 03:03 AM (#1717050)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: The Shambles

Too bad only the ape is leaving, and not a bunch of the baboons.

That reminds me Bill - how are your plans for your private members club going?

I have yet to recieve my invitation.

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13 Apr 06 - 03:18 AM (#1717053)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Cheeta

So leave aleady!

I'm to old for this crap! Pass me a fresh Depends willya. Pe-ew! I gotta stope eatin peas an onions!

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13 Apr 06 - 03:29 AM (#1717060)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: The Shambles

Proposal for memebers only posting of BS

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13 Apr 06 - 01:01 PM (#1717310)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

No! Not that! For the love of God...

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13 Apr 06 - 01:26 PM (#1717332)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Big Al Whittle

will he EVER come back?

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13 Apr 06 - 01:34 PM (#1717340)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Rapparee

He's out gettin' drunk. I know Roscoe's and I know Roscoe -- he'll eventually slip Chongo a mickey and drag him to the backroom to sleep it off. Ol' Chon'll be fine in coupla days, swingin' from tree branches by his tail and everything.

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13 Apr 06 - 01:39 PM (#1717350)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

An astute observation, Bill. Yes, this is just Chongo in one of his morose moods, going off on a bender. It always happens when he runs short of cash and can't find a new client. He busts open the gorilla bank and goes nuts for 24 hours, then crawls home and sleeps if off. He awakes in a penitent mood, resolves to buckle down and get serious, and gets back on track soon enough.

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13 Apr 06 - 04:15 PM (#1717515)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: JohnInKansas

or like .... Edger Bergen and Charley McCarthy. :}

An appropriate simile, and better than several of the others since it admits to the necessary "supporting actor" who provides the artistic, social, and philosophical underpinning for the "star."

But we wouldn't want to make an issue of the "logic" of a world famous ventriloquist on the radio, or draw out any further comparisons????

John

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13 Apr 06 - 05:04 PM (#1717551)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Janie

I'd like to see a chimp swing by it's tail!

Janie

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13 Apr 06 - 05:14 PM (#1717555)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,AR282

Just like a monkey-hating specist to separate monkies from apes in a vain attempt to divide them against each other!! Well, it won't work, little Miss Janie, because I stand united with them!!! And they are SO grateful to have me!! We are all one! Say it loud! WE'RE PRIMATES AND WE'RE PROUD!!!!!!

And I just reported you to your ISP under 30 different monikers so they ought to be coming after you with handcuffs by now. Why is that a knock I hear at your door, little Miss Snide Smart-Alecky Janie? Betcha you're not so smug and high-falutin now, are you? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!

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13 Apr 06 - 05:23 PM (#1717560)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Janie

That would be...monkeys. Yes?


Monkie is slang for a monk wannabe. Tibetan or Franciscan. Either one.

I REALLY would like to see a chimp swing by it's tail! I love freak shows;^)

Janie

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13 Apr 06 - 08:05 PM (#1717654)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,AR282

>>That would be...monkeys. Yes?<<

Oh.

Never mind.

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13 Apr 06 - 09:11 PM (#1717710)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bill D

♫ ..And all the monkeys aren't in a zoo'
Everyday you'll meet quite a few.
So you see, it's all up to you.
You can be betttttter than you are-
You could be swingin' on a star! ♫

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13 Apr 06 - 09:44 PM (#1717743)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

Seems like Chongo got in a big fight last night with a bunch of baboons over at the bar.

"What happened to you?" I said, aghast at his appearance when he returned.

"Hunh!" he snorted. "You oughta see the other guys."

The usual story.

Good thing it wasn't gorillas this time.

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13 Apr 06 - 09:46 PM (#1717745)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Feral Cheryl

Chongo, I can help heal your wounds any time.

your everlovin' Cheryl

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08 Jan 07 - 03:27 PM (#1930539)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

You're a pal, Cheryl.

As for the rest of you bums, the message is the same as before.

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08 Jan 07 - 03:35 PM (#1930557)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Amos

Geeze--a chimp with a nine-month grudge! Who'da thunk!?


A

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08 Jan 07 - 03:38 PM (#1930560)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Cluin

Bedtime for Chongo.

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11 May 08 - 07:51 PM (#2337977)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

Same old routine...

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11 May 08 - 08:27 PM (#2337998)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: JohnInKansas

The confusion between apes and monkeys is ubiquitous. Even commercial products are conspicuously misnamed as a result.

It's really PRIMITIVE APES like Chongo who are most in need of products like this to minimize their big ugly ...

(Aw - y'all know what I'm talkin' about.)

John

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12 May 08 - 09:59 AM (#2338331)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Librarian

EEK! OOK, OOK!

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12 May 08 - 02:43 PM (#2338567)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Skivee

Hey, Chongster, you banana abusing, poop-throwing sub-primate. Are you gone yet?

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12 May 08 - 03:58 PM (#2338632)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Whatsamatter with you bozos? You all stupid or what? I was talkin' about gettin' outta my own office for a few hours not outta this forum! I am not leavin' this forum till I have re-educated you saps a whole bunch, got it? Not until I have silenced all the specist chatter here and cleared up yer hominid confusion a bit.

And I figger that'll never happen...it would be like tryin' to teach pigs to fly...so yer all stuck with me for the duration.

- Chongo

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12 May 08 - 07:16 PM (#2338802)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos

You realise Chongo, if you leave, Laura won't know where you are.
(I know she'll find you but why cause a delay?)

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12 May 08 - 07:50 PM (#2338820)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Don Firth

Not leaving the forum then, Chongo? Ah, that's good. I value your comments on the human condition. Keeps us humble and puts things into proportion.

I was afraid there for a bit that you were going to go off and join a monastery and become a—er—um—monk.

(Capuchin, perhaps?).

Don Firth

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12 May 08 - 08:01 PM (#2338830)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Amos

He's his own species -- primatus savantus -- the wise-guy ape.


A

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12 May 08 - 08:18 PM (#2338849)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chief Chaos

Actually it's
Privatus Savantus Primatus

Or as I've said before the Possibly the Premier Paramount Professional Primate Private Eye(Patent Pending)!

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12 May 08 - 08:19 PM (#2338850)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Little Hawk

Aww, man...Chief Chaos, you had to mention Laura. Now Chongo's got that faraway look in his eyes again. He's gone all pensive and silent. I expect he will be contemplating the bottom of a glass tonight. Several glasses.

They could've danced all night...but fate would not have it so.

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12 May 08 - 08:34 PM (#2338861)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Sorcha

Fine. Go. Blessings

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12 May 08 - 10:43 PM (#2338922)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Skivee

Chongo, you inconsiderate babloon. This is just the kind o'muddled head talk that cost Bobert his shot ta be preserdent. I thnk you should get yerselve a few more chronosomes and a editer before you go raising folk'es hope like that.
By the by, you still owe me $267 and 28 cents fer the cleanin' bill ta get yer crap outta my clothes.
I hope you choke on a bananana, you fleabag.

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12 May 08 - 11:21 PM (#2338930)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Don Firth

It worries me when he looks like that.

Don Firth

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13 May 08 - 12:20 AM (#2338952)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: open mike

is he gone to the primate members club?
(private members club)

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07 Dec 10 - 06:01 PM (#3048388)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Okay, I am back.






"Thank you, thank you." (acknowledging applause)





I see that things ain't changed much. It's still a mess here.






















So....Didja miss me? (big banana-eating grin)

- Chongo

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07 Dec 10 - 06:39 PM (#3048409)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bobert

Yeah, Chongz... What's it been??? A couple days???

Jeeze, how time flies when yer having fun... Seems just like yesterday that you were here...

(Maybe it was, Boberdz???)

No, I'm sure it's bee a couple of days... Maybe three???

B~

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07 Dec 10 - 06:52 PM (#3048418)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,saulgoldie

Did somebody say something?

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08 Dec 10 - 04:40 AM (#3048604)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Patsy

Chongo, you are as bad as me one minute I'm going the next minute coming back. You're not a Sagittarian ape are you by any chance?

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08 Dec 10 - 06:10 AM (#3048650)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: JohnInKansas

swingin' from tree branches by his tail and everything. ????

The way I heard it Chongo ain't had any tail for a long long time.

Most would say that although he tries he's also not much of a "swinger," no matter how much he'd like to socially acceptable enough to get in on some of it.

(If he ever did they'd have to add fleas and lice to the reportable STD list.)

John

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08 Dec 10 - 01:03 PM (#3048946)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

One of these days, John, you are gonna get a visit you won't forget. Wait for it, pal. And make sure all the stuff on yer "bucket list" is taken care of too.

- Chongo

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08 Dec 10 - 02:29 PM (#3049022)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bill D

Back from what? or where? Enquiring minds want to know ...so they can send relief money to whoever suffered.

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08 Dec 10 - 06:01 PM (#3049157)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Back from Duffy's Bar where I was havin' a few drinks, of course. Back from there to my smoky office and my case files. Whaddya think?

If you wanta send 'em "relief" money at Duffy's, I'm sure they will happily take all you can spare, no questions asked.

- Chongo

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08 Dec 10 - 07:29 PM (#3049218)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bill D

Can't fool ME. You've been making cough medicine commercials Saw it on the TeeVee.

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08 Dec 10 - 07:43 PM (#3049231)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Bill D

You GOTTA watch the commercial....

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08 Dec 10 - 07:54 PM (#3049237)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Yeah. Good commercial. I know that chimp, it is my old pal Clarence from the San Diego area. I am glad to see he is gettin' some payin' work in the film industry.

Clarence has offered to help train Joan Baez in safe treehouse ladder climbin' techiques so she don't get hurt again, but he ain't got a reply from her yet.

- Chongo

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09 Dec 10 - 03:25 PM (#3049859)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: Rapparee

I haven't seen snot that long or that green since I was in third grade and Vic had a cold.... Chongo, you should wipe your nose more often.

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09 Dec 10 - 10:30 PM (#3050116)
Subject: RE: BS: That's it! I'm outta here!
From: GUEST,Chongo Chimp

Yeah? How 'bout I wipe yers instead?

- Chongo

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