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17 Dec 06 - 04:55 PM (#1912071) Subject: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener Just wondered about this, as you never hear of him going to the toilet. Anybody got any insider information on this one ? |
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17 Dec 06 - 04:58 PM (#1912076) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: catspaw49 Geeziz Villain.....Did you think that brown stuff falling from the sky on Christmas Eve was all reindeer shit? Spaw |
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17 Dec 06 - 04:59 PM (#1912078) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST,mg I would be very suspicious of any of the blue ice packs that occasionally drop from the sky if one drops on Christmas eve. mg |
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17 Dec 06 - 04:59 PM (#1912079) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Emma B Well, I lost my faith in fairies when I met one of Santas rather larger than life "little" helpers in the Ladies of a department store when I was 4 years old! |
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17 Dec 06 - 04:59 PM (#1912080) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Peace It would seem so. |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:03 PM (#1912083) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Ebbie Peace, I hope that's not the new toilet that's coming to my house this year. |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:13 PM (#1912095) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener Bloody hell, that was a quick response. Surely Santa has never had such a luxurious toilet as that Peace I was always led to believe that Santa crapped down the chimney and most people think that the remains left on the plate are the droppings from the mince pies , but in actual fact they are the Santa Claus droppings and the fluid left in the glass is milk when in actual fact its the deposit left by Santa when he comes down the chimney. |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:15 PM (#1912097) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Peace Bad. Bad. Bad. |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:18 PM (#1912101) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: catspaw49 Villain, I'm gonna' throw up...................oy.............. Spaw |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:19 PM (#1912106) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST There is NO Santa. |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:20 PM (#1912108) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Don Firth Major breakthrough!! I just realized! That "Humbug!" that Scrooge kept complaining about was a fly buzzing around a Santa dropping! Don Firth |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:22 PM (#1912110) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener Oh Guest you have just disillusioned me boo hoo. So what the hell has been coming down my chimney then? |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:23 PM (#1912111) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener No it definately wasn't flies Don :-) |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:28 PM (#1912114) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee As Calvin once said to Hobbes, "When he comes down the chimney, you grab the bag and I'll close the damper." |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:32 PM (#1912118) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: bobad Caught in the act |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:36 PM (#1912119) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener Ther you go, that proves it. Thank you Bobad |
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17 Dec 06 - 05:37 PM (#1912120) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee I'm certainly glad I've been a good boy all year! |
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17 Dec 06 - 07:36 PM (#1912199) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: JennyO Peace, I hope that's not the new toilet that's coming to my house this year. Does your new toilet flush distantly, Ebbie? |
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17 Dec 06 - 07:36 PM (#1912201) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Peace Good one, Jenny. |
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17 Dec 06 - 07:44 PM (#1912206) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: McGrath of Harlow Just take a look at the Raymond Briggs' book, Father Christmas some time. I should blooming think so. |
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17 Dec 06 - 07:49 PM (#1912210) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Peace APWATW |
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17 Dec 06 - 07:54 PM (#1912213) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: JohnInKansas bobad's 17 Dec 06 - 05:32 PM "caught in the act" was the picture on a fairly widely circulated Xmas card a few years back, with the caption/title: YOUR GIFT IS ON THE WAY! I seem to remember someone in the family sending out a few of them. John |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:02 PM (#1912220) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Amos Why do you people believe in a fictitious entity, and then argue about his attributes. None of the following go to the toilet: Batman Superman Thor Harvey, the giant Invisible Rabbit Jesus Christ God Almighty. See me after class if there are any questions. A |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:05 PM (#1912222) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: bobad Are you saying that Santa is fictitious? |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:09 PM (#1912226) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Peace You missed the Easter Bunny. |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:11 PM (#1912231) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee No, he's saying Thor is fictitious. And he's wrong (as usual). I did some work around here today and I'm mighty Thor! |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:34 PM (#1912244) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Amos Actually, to be precise good Rapaire, you are trying to MAKE me wrong, as usual -- a very different thing. And you're about as Thor as a flying pig. A |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:44 PM (#1912250) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Sorcha He missed a whole bunch of Em....Virgin Mary, Joseph and the ArchAngels, The Green Man...sheesh, people. |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:51 PM (#1912256) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee Amos, are you...are you...calling me wrong??? |
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17 Dec 06 - 08:59 PM (#1912261) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: TRUBRIT Steady on, Rapaire -- but YES, I think Amos could be calling your wrong......you never know, I may be misinterpreting this serious discussion but.......... And what about Buddha? Did HE go to the toilet.....??? |
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17 Dec 06 - 09:03 PM (#1912264) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Peace "Zen Toilet We tend to think of the divine spirit in terms of radiance, but it encompasses all things, including the polluted, filthy, and vile. Yes, zen can be found even in the toilet. A monk once asked the zen master Ummon, "What is Buddha?" The reply came, "A shit stick!" The monk was shocked by the master's vulgarity. But Ummon's message was that all things speak of God, even soiled toilet paper. We may think of bodily waste as dirty, and yet it feeds the ground as fertilizer. Another zen story tells of a student who asked his master, "Please show me zen." The master said, "I have to go relieve myself." Upon returning, the master said, "Zen is like going to the bathroom. I cannot go for you. You have to go for yourself." Rich or poor, famous or anonymous: We all have to go. When nature calls, listen to Nature." from the www. |
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17 Dec 06 - 11:01 PM (#1912301) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST,Scoville Easter bunny! My mother refuses to put licorice jelly beans in Easter baskets because they make her think of rabbit turds. Ha ha! My parents are so weird. |
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18 Dec 06 - 12:19 AM (#1912333) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: The Fooles Troupe Of course, some people, |
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18 Dec 06 - 01:09 AM (#1912343) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener Do Tony Blair and George Bush go to the toilet? Do Tony Blair and George Bush come down the chimney? Do Tony Blair and George Bush get a visit from Santa? |
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18 Dec 06 - 01:23 AM (#1912346) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Bert Probably not, I don't think he has time. He just drops his drawers and takes a dump over the side of the sleigh. |
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18 Dec 06 - 01:37 AM (#1912352) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: skarpi oh dear All the best Skarpi Iceland. |
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18 Dec 06 - 01:40 AM (#1912355) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Bert Well of course he doesn't dump over Iceland, he's only just started out when he gets there. |
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18 Dec 06 - 02:23 AM (#1912371) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Ebbie O Jenny O! |
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18 Dec 06 - 02:33 AM (#1912372) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Sooz Have you got a chimney, Villan? |
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18 Dec 06 - 03:05 AM (#1912380) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Georgiansilver Santa slashes, I've the proof. A yellow glacier, On my roof. |
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18 Dec 06 - 04:37 AM (#1912413) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Paul Burke Don't you believe in Sanitary Claus? |
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18 Dec 06 - 05:27 AM (#1912440) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener Fortunately not Sooz :-) |
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18 Dec 06 - 05:42 AM (#1912446) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: DMcG An article on this year's UK Christmas stamps |
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18 Dec 06 - 05:54 AM (#1912454) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST, ... And as for the Green Man - haven't you noticed that sometimes the Jack-in-the-Green pauses rather longer than usual above a drain? |
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18 Dec 06 - 07:59 AM (#1912521) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: The Fooles Troupe As any parent will tell you, there's no such thing as a Sanity Clause... |
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18 Dec 06 - 08:57 PM (#1913193) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST,EBarnacle It was Chico Marx who stated that there was no sanity clause. In common with other magical beings, and unlike the Buddha, Santa does not have to relieve himself during his travels. He knows it would soil his image...as well as slowing him down. |
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19 Dec 06 - 12:10 AM (#1913308) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Bert soil his image - and his pants. |
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19 Dec 06 - 01:17 AM (#1913324) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: skarpi have a LOL Bert :>( |
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19 Dec 06 - 02:09 AM (#1913333) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener When Santa got stuck up the chimney A Poo A Poo A Poo |
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19 Dec 06 - 03:19 AM (#1913355) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Severn I always wanted to know where Yule Logs came from! But I heard it from The Pope himself, that he shits in the woods. But if Pope Poopery smells like Papal Potpourri, what does a Yule Log-arhythmic-function SMELL like? Keep on dreaming of a Brown Christmas, folks! |
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19 Dec 06 - 04:27 AM (#1913383) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk You never hear about Mary Worth, Charlie Brown, Orson Welles or Nathan Hale going to the toilet either. Why single out Santa Claus? |
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19 Dec 06 - 06:17 AM (#1913424) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Liz the Squeak I would imagine that he would need some relief, especially after all those mince pies, sherry, milk and cookies that get left for him..... we left a bran muffin one year. That would have helped him get a wiggle on over Belgium. LTS |
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19 Dec 06 - 07:20 AM (#1913468) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin But did Captain Kirk ever go to the toilet? Not even to rub a quick one off? |
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19 Dec 06 - 08:53 AM (#1913537) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee At warp speeds no one needs to poop. And no one can hear you scream, either. See, it's Einsteinian. When you go that fast you're left hanging, so to speak, and the red-green shift effect kicks in and, well, there's a lot of esoteric math and shit that happens. It's like when you watch a train go by and your train is going faster the other way and you're using the train's toilet. It gets all relativistic. The answer, in the end, is "Where do you think all of that dark matter came from?" |
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19 Dec 06 - 08:57 AM (#1913539) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Paul Burke You mean it's relative motion, and to a third observer either Santa could have a poo, or a poo could have Santa? |
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19 Dec 06 - 09:03 AM (#1913545) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cool Beans Well, there was this one time when Rudolph and the reindeer pulled up to a little brown shack out in a backyard, with a half-moon carved in the door. "No, you idiot," Santa yelled. "I said the SCHMIDT house!!" |
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19 Dec 06 - 09:09 AM (#1913550) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee Yes. |
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19 Dec 06 - 10:49 AM (#1913671) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: SINSULL Mr. Hanky says "No". |
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19 Dec 06 - 10:56 AM (#1913684) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin That's why Santa's so fat. He needs to tap summa that off soon. |
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19 Dec 06 - 11:06 AM (#1913697) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rapparee What do you think bad little boys and girls get in their stockings? |
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19 Dec 06 - 11:17 AM (#1913718) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Rasener >>What do you think bad little boys and girls get in their stockings?<< Christmas Poo ding |
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19 Dec 06 - 11:20 AM (#1913723) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin What do you think bad little boys and girls get in their stockings? used hypodermic needles, set mousetraps, scorpions, brown recluse spiders... Santa is one sadistic prick sometimes. |
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19 Dec 06 - 11:49 AM (#1913748) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Bert Does W ever go to the toilet? Nah - He's all FULL OF SHIT!! |
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19 Dec 06 - 12:38 PM (#1913807) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Amos Well, aside from the bits from which I must recuse myself, I judge Peace's Zen post to have the first prize in this thread. Let me add that the list I cited was not meant to be complete. However I am morally certain that Nathan Hale DID. A |
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19 Dec 06 - 01:02 PM (#1913832) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: SINSULL Santa slumps back down onto his bag stool From the Tavern thread comes the definitive answer. Santa does indeed have baggy stools. |
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19 Dec 06 - 01:03 PM (#1913835) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk Yes, but we never hear about it, do we??? The same principle applies in the case of Santa. |
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19 Dec 06 - 01:12 PM (#1913851) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk That last post was for Amos. |
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19 Dec 06 - 03:36 PM (#1914002) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin "To be is to do" – Socrates "To do is to be" – Sartre "Do be do be do" – Sinatra |
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19 Dec 06 - 05:27 PM (#1914103) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk We never hear about Socrates, Sartre, or Sinatra going to the toilet either. |
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19 Dec 06 - 06:04 PM (#1914130) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin Perhaps a shorter list would be one of people that DO hear of going to the toilet? I am going to the toilet right now. Here I go.... |
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19 Dec 06 - 06:08 PM (#1914134) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin They call it "dropping the kids off at the pool". |
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19 Dec 06 - 06:48 PM (#1914181) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk Ah....such as Borat, Jack Black, Adam Sandler, Howard Stern, Spaw... Yeah, it is a kind of short list, isn't it? |
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19 Dec 06 - 06:58 PM (#1914194) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Amos LH: I am also certain that Shatner does and Chongo, never. Go figger. A |
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19 Dec 06 - 07:00 PM (#1914196) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk Why would you think that Chongo never goes to the toilet? |
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19 Dec 06 - 07:21 PM (#1914207) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Bobert Well, I for one, am ready for the sumabitch this year... Last year he crapped all over my roof an we had a warm spell right afterwards and we had flies all over the house comin' in fir a tasty bit of Santa-poo... So i got the 12 guage loaded and this year is gonna be differenter... In the words of George Bush, "Bring it on, (Santa)".... |
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19 Dec 06 - 07:24 PM (#1914210) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Little Hawk Yeah? Well, you just watch out for the heat-seeking missiles, Bobert! He KNOWS who's been naughty and who's been nice. |
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19 Dec 06 - 08:12 PM (#1914246) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: EBarnacle RE: Shatner above, Shit happens and becomes dark matter when entropy strikes. |
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20 Dec 06 - 04:27 AM (#1914482) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Georgiansilver CLUIN..sorry but have only now started reading this thread......Captain Kirk surely went where no man has ever been before. |
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20 Dec 06 - 09:27 AM (#1914702) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST,Kloogah Many have not even been there since. |
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20 Dec 06 - 09:30 AM (#1914710) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin Kirk turds all over the galaxy. |
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20 Dec 06 - 10:16 AM (#1914756) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: GUEST But does he have problems with the Klingons? |
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20 Dec 06 - 10:19 AM (#1914759) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin Scrape `em off, Jim! |
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20 Dec 06 - 10:28 AM (#1914773) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Georgiansilver It's worse than that, It's piles Jim... |
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20 Dec 06 - 10:31 AM (#1914783) Subject: RE: BS: Did Santa ever go to the toilet? From: Cluin Bedtime on the Enterprise. |
