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22 Jan 07 - 03:28 AM (#1943991) Subject: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bunnahabhain Recently, I was wondering about all those little examples of institutional humour you run into scattered about. You know the kind of thing, the signs reading 'Geology Rocks', 'Astronomy is looking up' or even worse. Most are old enough to almost be folklore by now... Any good ones? |
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22 Jan 07 - 04:05 AM (#1944006) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Dave Hanson Telecoms men do it in nanoseconds. eric |
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22 Jan 07 - 05:57 AM (#1944055) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver Farmers are outstanding in their field.........that sort of thing? |
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22 Jan 07 - 06:58 AM (#1944085) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: JennyO Teachers do it with class. |
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22 Jan 07 - 07:04 AM (#1944091) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Geoff the Duck Old chemistry professors never die.... They just smell that way! Quack! GtD. |
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22 Jan 07 - 07:30 AM (#1944105) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver D/Js are prone to slipping discs on turntables. New chiropodists sometimes have trouble finding their feet. Our butcher is a good man to meet. The local policeman is an arresting character. Our postman got the sack? |
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22 Jan 07 - 07:30 AM (#1944106) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: GUEST,ozchick dental nursing sucks |
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22 Jan 07 - 08:05 AM (#1944130) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Liz the Squeak Working for the Inland Revenue is a taxing profession. LTS |
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22 Jan 07 - 08:36 AM (#1944168) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: jeffp Epee fencers touch all over |
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22 Jan 07 - 08:46 AM (#1944188) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Micca Geoff, " thought it was"..... they just reach equilibrium and cease to react" and in the same vein " Old Physicists never die.. They just emit protons and decay" |
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22 Jan 07 - 08:50 AM (#1944192) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bee-dubya-ell "Potters have balls of clay" |
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22 Jan 07 - 08:55 AM (#1944196) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Leadfingers Old Golfers never die ! They just lose their balls ! |
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22 Jan 07 - 08:57 AM (#1944199) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver Taxidermists can 'get stuffed' The local Court Judge is a real case. The optician is very focussed. My hairdresser is quite trim. The florist is a weed. Our weatherman is dull.Our train driver went off the rails. |
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22 Jan 07 - 09:16 AM (#1944212) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: JennyO Old songwriters never die - they just decompose. |
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22 Jan 07 - 09:26 AM (#1944220) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: jeffp Civil War shooters have steel rods and lead balls |
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22 Jan 07 - 01:07 PM (#1944476) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: kendall State prison inmates- We stamp out license plates. |
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22 Jan 07 - 01:16 PM (#1944490) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: bubblyrat Leading English song-writer & musician John Tams collects humourous signs that he has encountered whilst "on the road ". My favourite is the one he saw outside Derby Royal Infirmary in Derby,England It said " FAMILY PLANNING----PLEASE USE REAR ENTRANCE "... |
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22 Jan 07 - 01:57 PM (#1944540) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver I have a picture of that sign on my comp and a picture of the sign on Penrith Railway station which advises people not to stand too near the platform or they may get sucked off. P/M me your E-mail address and will send pics of the signs if anyone wants them. |
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22 Jan 07 - 02:18 PM (#1944557) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Paul from Hull *LMAO* Not seen either the Family planning one, nor the Railway platform one! Georgian, I'm sending you my email addy! |
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22 Jan 07 - 03:21 PM (#1944631) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Ebbie Old hairdressers never retire, they just dye away. |
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22 Jan 07 - 03:37 PM (#1944650) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: pdq saying: The garbage man says business is picking up. bumper sticker: Entomologists Get The Bugs Out! |
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22 Jan 07 - 04:34 PM (#1944694) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Rowan Three for archaeologists; My career is in ruins! Archaeology is just a load of old rubbish. Archaeologists do it by trowel and era. And an audiologist I knew, when inserting the soft polymer to take an impression of a person's ear for the hearing aid, would always say, "Get an earful of this!" Cheers, Rowan |
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22 Jan 07 - 05:47 PM (#1944788) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D Penrith Station (took me 11.4 seconds) |
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22 Jan 07 - 05:57 PM (#1944805) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D I saw one on a trailer-mounted sign at a gas station in Oregon in 1975.... "An Archeologist's career lies in ruins." It took me weeks to realize it WAS humor. Thought it was a sad story by the owner. |
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22 Jan 07 - 06:00 PM (#1944811) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D from an old carpenter: (intoned very slowly and seriously, holding up a 16 penny nail from his nail bag) "Ya' know what a good deal is? A good deal is when you can trade...a nail...for a screw!" |
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22 Jan 07 - 06:21 PM (#1944833) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D same old carpenter, standing in the hallway beside the open door where we were building new shelving for the storage of various samples by the Geology Dept.: "Sorry for the mess and noise...we're just helpin' the Geologists get their rocks off... (tiny pause) the floor." |
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22 Jan 07 - 06:34 PM (#1944849) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: GUEST,heric GP during prostate exam: "That's just one finger but you can get a second opinion." |
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22 Jan 07 - 06:45 PM (#1944866) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver Ebbie. I think old hairdressers just curl up and dye. |
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22 Jan 07 - 07:24 PM (#1944908) Subject: RE: BS: Institutional Humour From: The Fooles Troupe Furniture manufacturer sign in Toowoomba: MR STOOL Stools made to order. |
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22 Jan 07 - 07:38 PM (#1944925) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: bubblyrat Sign in Brothel---" Our Customers Come First " |
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22 Jan 07 - 07:45 PM (#1944931) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Rowan Bill D, the sense of "screw" in your "you can trade...a nail...for a screw!" is now widely understood even here in OZ but there was a time when it caused confusion and embarrassment here. Even until the late '50s, Australian slang for a good wage was "I'm on a good screw!" But during the American occupation of Australia during WWII we were exposed to the US meaning, along with similar confusion about the term "fanny". Thanks for reminding me. Cheers, Rowan |
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22 Jan 07 - 11:02 PM (#1945086) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: JennieG Nurses/doctors do it with patience! Cheers JennieG |
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23 Jan 07 - 07:29 AM (#1945305) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: The Fooles Troupe Mathematicans work it out with pencil and paper. |
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23 Jan 07 - 11:57 AM (#1945590) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver Constipated mathematicians work it out with a pencil! |
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23 Jan 07 - 12:00 PM (#1945595) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: wysiwyg There is nothing funnier, or scarier, than the talk in the hearse on the way back from the graveyard, between clergy and funeral directors. I can't tell you though-- they'd have to kill me. ~Susan |
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23 Jan 07 - 12:03 PM (#1945600) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver I wouldn't be seen dead in a hearse! |
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23 Jan 07 - 12:18 PM (#1945618) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D Similarly, Susan, I know a woman who worked in the neo-natal intensive care ward at a hospital. The only way they could deal with some of the stresses and sadness was macabré humor. I heard a couple of the parody songs one time, and it was an eye-opener. |
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23 Jan 07 - 12:33 PM (#1945636) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: jimlad9 Do not get a job in the Electricity Industry the wages are shocking. Undertakers are in a dying business. Gynaecologists spend all day at the orifice. My dad was in the Air Force when Pontius was a pilot. There are old pilots and there are bold pilots,but there are no old bold pilots. |
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23 Jan 07 - 03:30 PM (#1945820) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: frogprince I once was a cashier in a methadone clinic for a few weeks. The johns in back were labled "the Lenny Bruce Memorial Restroom" and "The Janis Joplin Memorial Restroom". Dean. |
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24 Jan 07 - 03:56 AM (#1946325) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: The Walrus Seen in a metallurgical test lab. "Mechanical testing can be fatiguing" |
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24 Jan 07 - 04:23 AM (#1946333) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Slag re the institution of marriage: "Anyone who gets married should be committed." Digger O'Dell the Undertaker said "Well, I must be shoveling off. My business is really going in the hole. Things are dead around here. I've got to dig up some business. I miss the good times when we were picking them up and laying them down." Submariners do it deeper than anyone. F-16 pilots do it on a higher level. |
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24 Jan 07 - 05:04 AM (#1946363) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver I suppose the sign outside many UK Hospitals might fit into this category...... 'Guard dogs operating'! Or the one as you enter the airport...perhaps the last sign you see before you fly is 'Terminal' |
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24 Jan 07 - 03:16 PM (#1946911) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Michael Archemedes didn't have any principals; he just liked a good screw. Mike |
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24 Jan 07 - 03:19 PM (#1946914) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Michael And from a physicist I once knew: Definition of sex - a couple oscillating in a field Mike |
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24 Jan 07 - 03:21 PM (#1946917) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: GUEST,ib48 Plumbing company in boro called R.C.AYRES |
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25 Jan 07 - 04:10 PM (#1947963) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Don(Wyziwyg)T Top pharmacists dispense with accuracy. Don T. |
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26 Jan 07 - 02:45 PM (#1948947) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Mrrzy Macabré humor, BillD - it ties you in knots? Practice safe snax - use condiments! (on the back of a cab in my town) |
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26 Jan 07 - 03:07 PM (#1948973) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Blindlemonsteve Someone sent me an email the other day with a genuine sign from the Northampton NHS trust saying "family Planning Advice - Use the rear entrance" Says it all really!!! |
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26 Jan 07 - 03:15 PM (#1948985) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver As mentioned on the 22nd, I have that sign and the one from Penrith Railway station which says...well...which ...I can't put it on here but if you want it, PM me your E-mail addy and will send them both to you. |
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26 Jan 07 - 05:21 PM (#1949093) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D my link on the 22nd was not the sign you meant? |
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26 Jan 07 - 05:22 PM (#1949095) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D "macabré"__ "macarame"??? BIIIIGGGG stretch! |
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27 Jan 07 - 02:56 AM (#1949388) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Blindlemonsteve Oh Yeh, i really should read these threads first, never mind, very funny though. i once saw a sign on a printer that said "Pen is stuck in printer". But the spacing between pen and is was too small. |
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27 Jan 07 - 03:24 AM (#1949395) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: autolycus i rthink i made this one up. Philosophers think about it. pedant alert. I think correctly it is 'focused', not 'focussed'. Ivor |
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27 Jan 07 - 09:22 AM (#1949557) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Georgiansilver Sorry Bill...must have missed your posting of the link..yes the same. |
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27 Jan 07 - 10:54 AM (#1949625) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Bill D well, Philosophers DO think about it. Why do you think Kant wrote "Fundamental Principles of the Metaphysic of Morals"? ;>) |
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27 Jan 07 - 11:06 AM (#1949636) Subject: RE: BS: Instituitional Humour From: Michael I don't know, Bill D: give us a clue. Mike |
