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06 Feb 07 - 11:21 AM (#1959124) Subject: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: tarheel A helpless Democrat, wearing sandals, shorts, a "Save the Whales" >> hat, and a "To Hell with Bush" T-shirt, was screaming while struggling >> frantically, thrashing around trying to free himself from the grasp of a >> 10 foot grizzly. >> >> As the Pope watched horrified, a group of Republican loggers came >> racing up. One quickly fired a .44 magnum into the bear's chest... The >> other two reached up and pulled the bleeding, semiconscious Democrat from >> the bear's grasp. Then using long clubs, the three loggers finished off >> the bear and two of them threw it onto the bed of their truck while the >> other tenderly placed the injured Democrat in the back seat. >> >> >> As they prepared to leave, the Pope summoned them to come over. >> "I give you my blessing for your brave actions!" he told them "I heard >> there was a bitter hatred between Republican loggers and Democratic >> Environmental activists but now I've seen with my own eyes that this is >> not true." >> >> As the Pope drove off, one of the loggers asked his buddies "Who >> was that guy?" "It was the Pope," another replied "He's in direct >> contact with heaven and has access to all wisdom." "Well," the logger >> said, "he may have access to all wisdom but he sure doesn't know anything >> about bear hunting! By the way, is the bait holding up, or do we need to >> go back to Massachusett s and snatch another one?" Tar... |
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06 Feb 07 - 11:45 AM (#1959144) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Wesley S Several things are wrong with this joke. First of all we have joke threads for things like this.Looke in the BS section. Second of all - Popes don't wander around by themselves out in the woods. That ruined it for me. And third - if those gun toatin' Republicans want to do some good they should go over to Iraq where they belong. That way we can send the boys home. Where they should be in the first place. |
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06 Feb 07 - 11:51 AM (#1959157) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace Fuck off Chuck. |
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06 Feb 07 - 11:57 AM (#1959165) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Jim Lad Couldn't get past "hell" with a capital "H". That's as far as I read. To each his own I suppose. |
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06 Feb 07 - 11:59 AM (#1959168) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Scrump Popes don't wander around by themselves out in the woods. That ruined it for me. Me too. Preposterous idea. |
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06 Feb 07 - 12:17 PM (#1959186) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Wesley S And they NEVER drive their own car. NEVER. I would have thought that Tarheel - being a good Roman Catholic - would have known that. |
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06 Feb 07 - 12:29 PM (#1959205) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Joe Offer I dunno. The previous pope liked to go skiing, and I do believe he also spent time walking in the woods in the Tatras. Give Chuck a break, willya? It's just a joke. If it was put in the music section by mistake, it can easily be moved, so it's not a big deal. -Joe- |
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06 Feb 07 - 12:32 PM (#1959210) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace You can. I won't. |
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06 Feb 07 - 12:46 PM (#1959225) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Wesley S A Texan is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear, and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar announcing his wife has produced a Typical Texas baby boy weighing 25 pounds. Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Texan just shrugs, "That's about average down home, folks like I said, my boy's a Typical Texas baby boy." Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW!" We heard one woman actually fainted due to sympathy pains. Two weeks later he returns to the bar. The bartender says, "Say you're the father of that Typical Texas baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth. Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. So how much does he weigh now? The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds." The bartender is puzzled, concerned, and a little suspicious. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born!" The Texas father takes a slow swig from his, Lone Star beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says, "Had'm circumcised". |
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06 Feb 07 - 01:22 PM (#1959268) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Michael Is the bear a Catholic? Does the Pope wander round in the woods? |
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06 Feb 07 - 04:01 PM (#1959464) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Elaine Green So do you guys know each other personally to be able to write so ugly over a joke? Or am I missing some serial joking here? Just asking is all. |
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06 Feb 07 - 04:02 PM (#1959466) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Elaine Green I'm new here, and I really don't know. |
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06 Feb 07 - 04:05 PM (#1959474) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: jeffp Chuck (Tar Heel) has a tendency to post extreme right-wing stuff, not of his own devising, in an attempt to stir up trouble on the Cat. Many people are sick of it. |
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06 Feb 07 - 07:30 PM (#1959736) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Elaine Green Ah, enough said. Thanks. I'll catch on! |
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06 Feb 07 - 07:50 PM (#1959757) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: tarheel WESLEY S...I am not a ROMAN CATHOLIC...so u go and FUCK OFF TOO! |
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06 Feb 07 - 07:55 PM (#1959765) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: tarheel HEY..ITS A DMASN JOKE...what the hell is wrong with you frikin' people??? |
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06 Feb 07 - 08:07 PM (#1959778) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Ebbie Ah. Spoken like a Jesus follower indeed. |
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06 Feb 07 - 09:04 PM (#1959813) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: jeffp There you have it, Elaine. Straight from the horse's......... mouth. |
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06 Feb 07 - 11:51 PM (#1959895) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace "WESLEY S...I am not a ROMAN CATHOLIC...so u go and FUCK OFF TOO! " Chuck, why you being rude to Wesley? I'm the one who told you to fuck off. BTW, your punctuation is for shit. |
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06 Feb 07 - 11:55 PM (#1959897) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Sorcha Oh, for pity's sake, leave him be. He's a Christian after all. Turn the other cheek, do unto others, love thy neighbor, and all that. |
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07 Feb 07 - 12:33 AM (#1959914) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: mg The last pope was famous for going out in the woods. I'm Catholic. mg |
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07 Feb 07 - 10:16 AM (#1959957) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: mack/misophist As a certified left winger, I think it was funny. It's the situation, not the detail that matters. |
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07 Feb 07 - 10:21 AM (#1959962) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Scrump Whenever the pope went to the woods, he was carried there in a sedan chair. So maybe the joke should have mentioned that fact, to avoid all the subsequent comments. |
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07 Feb 07 - 10:58 AM (#1960005) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Midchuck It is hypocritical to take the position that jokes that make fun of right wing people are funny but jokes that make fun of left wing people are nasty. It is also hypocritical to take the reverse position. Of course, I can say that because there are so few of us Howling Anarchists left that no one makes jokes about us. Peter. |
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07 Feb 07 - 11:45 AM (#1960059) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Bee Not being a Democrat, a Republican, or a Christian, I object to the joke because a grizzly bear is shot and then clubbed to death after being baited. Smacks of brutality and lack of respect for animals. |
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07 Feb 07 - 12:01 PM (#1960082) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Wesley S Tarheel- Don't be ashamed of being Catholic. I'm a recovering Catholic myself. No one here holds it against you. |
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07 Feb 07 - 12:10 PM (#1960091) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Donuel I am concerned how many people are stooping to a Cheney level of communication. |
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07 Feb 07 - 12:12 PM (#1960092) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Donuel I've had 3 posts in a row deleted and I never used a profane word. |
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07 Feb 07 - 12:40 PM (#1960116) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: bubblyrat Of course Popes go in the woods !! There"s even a song I heard (by Rednex ?) called "Old Pope in an Oak " !!! |
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07 Feb 07 - 12:43 PM (#1960120) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: JeremyC I think the problem with the joke wasn't that it was right-wing, but that it wasn't funny. Not to mention it was posted by a troll with no discernable sense of humor. I mean: HIM: HAHAHA POPE R DUM AND LOLLIN @ DEMS ROFLMAO LOL LOL etc. OTHER PEOPLE: You're Catholic. HIM: WTF FUCK YOU YOU MOTHERFUCKING FAGGOTS That's what I was seeing, anyway. |
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07 Feb 07 - 01:05 PM (#1960136) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: bubblyrat Do you HAVE to use such VILE & DISGUSTING expressions on the internet ?? Does it not occur to you that some of us might be offended ?? Are you REALLY not able to express yourself better without recourse to that sort of FILTH ?? GOD save us !! |
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07 Feb 07 - 01:50 PM (#1960189) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: JeremyC What was I thinking!!?! Call the internet police immediately!! /!\ WHEEE-OOOO WHEEE-OOO /!\ SIR I AM FROM THE INTERNET ANTI-VULGARITY SQUAD AND I AM WARNING YOU TO REFRAIN FROM THIS BEHAVIOR OR THERE WILL BE INTERNET CONSEQUENCES. P.S. INTERNET!! :) Sorry, I guess I can't talk for much longer as I'm about to be arrested! Best wishes folks, hope to see you soon! |
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07 Feb 07 - 02:23 PM (#1960226) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace bubblyrat: You doubled three question marks and on exclamation mark. That is fuckin' irritating. |
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07 Feb 07 - 02:36 PM (#1960241) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Donuel The original Bear in the woods joke that circulated 15 years ... was a sodomy / homosexual joke. It hasn't improved much since then. The best version lately however is A priest, a minister and rabbi go bear hunting. The priest comes back with the bear walking behind and says, after some, wafers and a few prayers we got on famously bejesus. The born again minister said "I fed the bear with the holy roast beef of the lord until he couldn't eat another thing and we prayed over the bear in the name of Jesus Christ." The rabbi came back without a bear. The rabbi was bleeding seriously and was missing half his clothing. He said "OY I guess I should not have begun with circumcision! |
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07 Feb 07 - 02:38 PM (#1960244) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace Time for just punchlines. "Shoot the dog, shoot the dog." |
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07 Feb 07 - 02:43 PM (#1960252) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Ebbie "Pay the two dollars!" |
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07 Feb 07 - 03:18 PM (#1960284) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Wesley S "That's OK - you take it." |
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07 Feb 07 - 03:35 PM (#1960298) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: JeremyC "I said shaggy, but not THAT shaggy!" |
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07 Feb 07 - 03:42 PM (#1960308) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: jeffp The genie was hard of hearing, so I wound up with a 12-inch pianist. |
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07 Feb 07 - 04:44 PM (#1960358) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace "yeah, but I've never seen one eating the peanuts before!" |
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07 Feb 07 - 07:02 PM (#1960537) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Riginslinger They could have used the Pope for bait, but feeding opiates to the bears probably would have upset the masses. |
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07 Feb 07 - 07:23 PM (#1960560) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Don Firth A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walked into a bar. The bartender heaved a weary sigh and said, "Okay, what is this? Some kind of joke?" Don Firth |
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07 Feb 07 - 07:43 PM (#1960579) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Bill D Does the Pope.....of course! |
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07 Feb 07 - 07:47 PM (#1960584) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Bill D (For a long time, the obvious answer to "Does the Pope shit in the woods?" was "He's Polish, ain't he?") |
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07 Feb 07 - 07:58 PM (#1960593) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: frogprince But...without pulling his robe up out of the way? EWWWWWWWWW! |
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07 Feb 07 - 08:00 PM (#1960597) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: frogprince Then again, maybe he was wearing an "astronaut's diaper"; but, if so, why bother to sit on a commode? |
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07 Feb 07 - 08:02 PM (#1960598) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Don Firth Established ritual. Don Firth |
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07 Feb 07 - 08:39 PM (#1960626) Subject: RE: Pope on a slope. From: McGrath of Harlow You can tell the people who aren't Catholics here. They're the ones who get upset about jokes about the Pope. Actually if you think it through, this version of the joke (it comes in all shapes and sizes, a real folk joke) is aimed at those Republican loggers, rather than at their unfortunate victim, or at the Pope,who is presented as a bit naive, but basically asw a good lad. .................. As for a free range Pope being implausable, no way, not with the last one anyway. One of his mates has recently published an account of how, back in the 80s, John Paul used to sneak off to go skiing on the quiet. His companion would hold a newspaper up in the car to conceal him. He never got spotted while skiing, apparently - except by a small boy who once called out "That's the Pope"; but he was told not to be silly by his parents. |
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07 Feb 07 - 10:29 PM (#1960690) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Ebbie Did the little kid say whether he was wearing clothes? |
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07 Feb 07 - 11:24 PM (#1960720) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: jeffp The kid or the Pope? |
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07 Feb 07 - 11:43 PM (#1960729) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Peace Wow. Genius. Here's the visuals for your song title, jeffp. The Kid or the Pope. |
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08 Feb 07 - 11:56 AM (#1961259) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Donuel Then the future Pope manned his anti aircraft gun ans was heard to say "Damn the jew lovers, Heil Hitler" goys will be goys |
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08 Feb 07 - 12:36 PM (#1961300) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: jeffp That's no kid, Peace. Back to Biology 101 for you. |
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09 Feb 07 - 05:50 AM (#1962071) Subject: RE: The Republican,Democrat and the POPE!!! From: Big Al Whittle Just in case theres anybody who hasn't been offended by this thread, heres my song The Day Delaneys Donkey had Sex with The Pope the Val Doonican Show is revenged at last. this version is a bit fruity/Irish tenor, I've done a better version for the new album........more macrobiotic. http://www.bigalwhittle.co.uk/sitebuildercontent/sitebuilderfiles/delaney.mp3 |
