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10 Feb 07 - 12:37 AM (#1962948) Subject: The Home Security CD! From: The Fooles Troupe "The Home Security CD!" I couldn't believe my ears - I just heard an ad on the radio flogging this - with a testimonial by 'a retired detective inspector' (Policeman!) saying that if a burglar listens at your window and hears silence, then they will break in, but if they hear... (cue grams - sounds of washing up) they won't!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not making this up you know! Blimey, I can remember the old LPs of dogs barking... Now, I'm sure we can do better than that! This is a music forum, what CD do YOU think should be in your CD player to drive burglars away? :-) |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:39 AM (#1962951) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace Rap music. |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:39 AM (#1962952) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Amergin bagpipes. |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:48 AM (#1962955) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: The Fooles Troupe Not bad for a start guys, but... Come on, I don't want this thread exiled below the line... |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:50 AM (#1962956) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace At first I thought the title was "The Homeland Security CD" and I thought there'd be nothing on it. |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:52 AM (#1962957) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: The Fooles Troupe I supose the orchestration would be by John Cage then, Peace? ;-) |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:52 AM (#1962958) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Amergin Didgeredoos. |
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10 Feb 07 - 05:45 AM (#1963044) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Fred McCormick How about a gang of all in wrestlers? |
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10 Feb 07 - 08:53 AM (#1963137) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: SouthernCelt Where I live playing rap would just make the perp think a party was going on and take it as an invitation. I'd think a good 'sound' would be the sound of a pump shotgun slide being racked and an occasional comment like, "Honey, hand me that box of 12 gauge magnum buckshot..." SC |
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10 Feb 07 - 08:56 AM (#1963138) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Jean(eanjay) Reading the Soldier bible deck of cards thread it would seem that that would do the trick! |
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10 Feb 07 - 09:51 AM (#1963170) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: artbrooks How about a mass bodhran, bagpipes, benjo and didgeredoo ensemble, playing Lawrence Welk music? Tiny Bubbles, maybe? |
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10 Feb 07 - 09:52 AM (#1963172) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Richard Bridge A good Haka from the All-Blacks Rugby scrum? |
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10 Feb 07 - 10:31 AM (#1963190) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: JennyO I've been hearing this ad too, Robin, and was thinking that it just wouldn't work in my house. The one window which gives a really clear view inside, is my kitchen window, where my sink is. If they heard sounds of washing up with no-one standing at the sink, they would KNOW nobody was home. I would have thought the sound of a TV and voices in conversation would work better. On the other hand, my friends' CD of hurdy gurdy and pipes played loud might slow them down a little :-) |
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10 Feb 07 - 10:45 AM (#1963194) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Rapparee There's the so-called "fear cycle" in the subsonic range. You can't hear it, but you "feel" it. I think it's about 30 cps, but I'm not sure. Or you could just record a presentation by an evangelical missionary exhorting you to their religion.... |
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10 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM (#1963282) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: terrier Just play English trad folk....really loud, that should turn'em away. Seems to work for Folk Clubs...... OOOOOOOPS!!! Did I say that :~) |
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10 Feb 07 - 01:02 PM (#1963302) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Scrump Freedom Fields? Witness? Thought I'd say it before anyone else, to get 'em out of the way! :-) |
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10 Feb 07 - 04:52 PM (#1963428) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: The Fooles Troupe Just to clarify things - we want something to just scare away burgulars, not upset the whole neighbourhood! |
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10 Feb 07 - 04:59 PM (#1963434) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace Get "I LOVE SMITH and WESSON" stickers for your windows. Just under it write, "I hope you don't mind loud noises." |
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10 Feb 07 - 05:12 PM (#1963446) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Charley Noble I think a track of howling wolves would give a prospective burgular pause. Another track that would work just as good, maybe better, would be "Sonny's Dream." Charley Noble |
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10 Feb 07 - 05:14 PM (#1963450) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace Maybe posters that read, "My favoUrite movie is 'Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. C'mon in." |
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10 Feb 07 - 05:26 PM (#1963459) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace A poster of this man with thcursive writing that reads, Everything I know about the human body I learned from you. Fake his signature. Display in the living room where it can be seen from the window, and leave the curtains open. |
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10 Feb 07 - 06:13 PM (#1963491) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: The Fooles Troupe Well, I was looking for music... Say, how about Lennie Cohen? Or would the effect be too slow? |
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10 Feb 07 - 06:54 PM (#1963545) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: McGrath of Harlow The Laughing Policeman |
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10 Feb 07 - 06:56 PM (#1963547) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace "I raise spiders. Please exercise extreme caution in the house." |
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10 Feb 07 - 07:26 PM (#1963574) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: katlaughing Lots of fierce power in Taiko Drumming.(you tube video) Or, how about a Dueling Shamisen and Taiko?. |
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10 Feb 07 - 07:36 PM (#1963581) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Charley Noble It's hard to say what would repell or attract a would-be "burglar" nowadays. Hell, most of us can't even spell the word correctly! But getting back to the CD, how about a recording of a revival meeting? Or a recorded discussion of a "mission statement" by your favorite non-profit organization? That should send the prospective burglar flying into the night. Personally, I'll stick with "Sonny's Dream." That's bulletproof as far as I've experienced. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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10 Feb 07 - 07:49 PM (#1963588) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: terrier Charlie, would Sonny's dream be the song 'Sonny, don't go away, I'm here all alone' etc? I really like that song, shame on you! |
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11 Feb 07 - 02:38 AM (#1963744) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: The Fooles Troupe Now we're getting on the right track McGrath, Charley, (if you'll pardon the expression!)... |
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11 Feb 07 - 04:30 AM (#1963783) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Darowyn I think something a little darker might work. Maybe a little chanting followed by, "Accept the blood of poor wretch as sacrifice, O Satan, Lord of Darkness......" or a scream followed by, "No No please, just let me go , I'll never break in to anybody's house again. No! Please. AAARGH!" (Manic laughter) Cheers Dave |
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11 Feb 07 - 10:24 AM (#1963962) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Charley Noble Terrier- You're more than welcome to enjoy or lead "Sonny's Dream." Send me an MP3 recording so I can add it to my Home Security CD. ;~) Now Dave's suggestion might have the unfortunate consequence of attracting the attention of the police, if some non-burglar came to the door and became alarmed at the sounds coming from inside. Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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11 Feb 07 - 10:38 AM (#1963968) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Ernest put a sign on the door "Musicians home: please don`t dump any more banjos or accordions" |
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11 Feb 07 - 10:42 AM (#1963970) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Rapparee Record someone who has never before played the bagpipes playing the bagpipes.... |
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11 Feb 07 - 12:38 PM (#1964050) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Sorcha With gunfire percussion. Warning! Attack Banjo! Forget the Rotweillers--just don't feed the Accordian! |
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11 Feb 07 - 12:59 PM (#1964075) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: GUEST,Frank Hamilton I have a friend who plays the Rush Limbaugh program on his radio when he goes out. All the angry talk and fighting sounds like someone is home. When he returns, he immediately shuts it off. Frank Hamilton |
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11 Feb 07 - 03:14 PM (#1964171) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Charley Noble Frank- That works for me! We do have a sign warning about "ATTACK CATS" but that might not deter the intrepid but foolish burglar. We worry some about cleaning up the mess, shards of flesh, blood spattered-dashed here and there. Not a pretty sight and that's when they're just playing! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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11 Feb 07 - 03:21 PM (#1964177) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: GUEST,mick p royal marine shanty crew my mate playing? the Hurdy Gurdy. No on second thoughts not even a SLIME BALL burglar deserves that. |
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11 Feb 07 - 03:50 PM (#1964219) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: terrier Charley, how can anyone not like Sonny's Dream |
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11 Feb 07 - 03:56 PM (#1964225) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: terrier A custom/habit in UK you'st to be to leave the latch key hanging on a piece of string accesible through the letter box. A person I know (better not give any clues)leaves a primed gin trap hanging there!Just in case a burglar started fishing for a key.Maybee just a tad OTT. |
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11 Feb 07 - 07:06 PM (#1964411) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Charley Noble "gin trap"? We don't call them that in the States. Checking out one on a website, it looks like a big vicious bear trap. I was initially assuming this was a typo, given that "i" is next to "u" on the keyboard. I don't mess with Terrier! Cheerily, Charley Noble |
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11 Feb 07 - 07:12 PM (#1964416) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: JudyB You know, terrier, I'm not sure Charley could bear to follow your link.... :~) |
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11 Feb 07 - 08:49 PM (#1964465) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Bee-dubya-ell Anyone playing scales on any instrument. Preferably with a few mistakes thrown in. |
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12 Feb 07 - 12:58 AM (#1964566) Subject: RE: The Home Security CD! From: Peace Have you thought of keeping a crocodile in the house and don't bother warning burglars at all? |
