Happy! – Feb 9 (Lydia Pinkham)

Subject: Happy! – Feb 9 (Lydia Pinkham)
From: Abby Sale
Date: 09 Feb 06 - 08:10 AM


Happy Birthday!

Patent-medicine seller

Lydia Pinkham was born 2/9/1819 (d.5/17/1883).

Her Vegetable Compound (18% alcohol) could cure any "female complaint"
from nervous prostration to a prolapsed uterus.

Better stll, it inspired several songs and thousands of verses.

          Lottie Smyth ne'er had a lover,
            Blotchy pimples caused her plight;
          But she took nine bottles of Pinkham's—
             Sweet-hearts swarm about her each night.
  
                  "The Ballad of Lydia Pinkham," in Frank Shay,
                  in My Pious Friends and Drunken Companions, 1927
  
  
          Mrs. Jones had rotten kidneys
            And she simply could not pee
          So she took, she swallowed, she gargled some vegetable compound
            And now they pipe her to the sea!
          
          Cho:   Then we'll sing, we'll sing, we'll sing of Lydia Pinkham
                    And her love, her love, her love for the human race  (human race).
                  How she makes, she bottles, she sells her vegetable compound,
                    Now all papers they publish her face,
          
          Oh little Johnny, the little bastard
            Through masturbation had lost his vim
          So he took, he swallowed, he gargled some vegetable compound
            And now the rabbits envy him
          
          Geraldine, she had no breastworks
            And she could not fill her blouse
          So she took, she swallowed, she gargled some vegetable compound
            And now they milk her with the cows
          
                  "Lydia Pinkham" on The Earthy Side, sung by members of 
                  the Norman Luboff Choir, thanx John Mehlberg of immortalia.com

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