Curmudgeon In Hospice - [November 2013]

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: maeve
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 07:48 PM

Light and love heading to you both, Linn and Tom.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: GUEST,laptopgnu
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 10:29 PM

Oh dear. My heart goes out.......

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 10:40 PM

Oh, I'm so sorry that he has had to go back to the hospital.

I guess I'm back to sending you virtual hugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Oct 2013
From: Jeri
Date: 07 Nov 13 - 11:12 PM

Well, this completely sucks.
But he's in a place where he can get appropriate care, and maybe you can not have to worry about immediate emergencies. Still sucks.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 12:26 AM

That fall when he missed the wheelchair may have consequences now. I hope it is resolved quickly and easily.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:19 AM

Left the ER just after midnight after a talk with the hospitalist. She was in the process of admitting him to the CCU.

Not really much to report -- pretty much the same as last time. They had some problems putting a central line in, but succeeded.

It's 1:14 a.m. -- I still have to wind down a bit before I can fall asleep.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 02:20 AM

best wishes to you both

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 09:52 AM

I think I just lost the stub of a post -- I was looking for the CCU phone number.

Tom can have phone calls and visitors. The CCU phone number at Wentworth-Douglass is 603-740-2294.

I talked to Tom this morning and he sounds good. I'll call again before I head over.

I've just wrapped up a few necessary phone calls, etc. and had a nice talk with Tom's cardiologist's nurse. I should be heading to the hospital soon.

I'll go right from Dover to the Press Room session this afternoon and then probably return to the hospital to say goodnight to Tom.

But I won't be away from a computer until I get home tonight.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: JudyB
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:00 AM

Sending hugs to you both.

~JudyB

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:28 AM

Hugs here, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Pete Jennings
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:33 AM

And from across the pond...

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:19 PM

I just tried to call Tom, but the nurse was in with him...you as well, probably. I'll try again later, Linn.

I don't make long distance calls to just anyone, you know! :)

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: billybob
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 01:33 PM

Just sending love xxxx to you both.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 06:22 PM

wishing the best possible for both of you. Do give yourself some R&R while Tom is bein cared for by the pro's. Thinking of you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 08 Nov 13 - 10:19 PM

But I won't be away from a computer until I get home tonight.

Sigh. What I meant to say was either "I won't be AT a computer until I get home tonight" or "I'll be away from the computer until I get home tonight."

Anywho, I'm home...and I'm here at the computer.

Try him again, Maeve. I think actually he may have been sleeping when you called. He didn't get any sleep at all last night and was persuaded to get into bed (he was in a chair when I got there -- he wouldn't order lunch until I got there) and try to catch up on some sleep. So I read quietly at his side until I left for the Press Room session.

When I got back tonight at around 8:00 to say goodnight to him, he was asleep. He woke up long enough when I kissed him to know I was there. Asked if he wanted me to stay or if he wanted to sleep. He wanted to sleep, so I told him I'd call him in the morning. I'm pretty tired, too.

Had a, well, productive talk with his intensivist (who had been part of the team last month). Realistic talk. No, he still won't say, "Tom's got 6 months...a year...whatever..." Because, quite honestly, they DON'T know. But he basically confirmed why I've inferred from his other doctors' comments. And again, no surprises. Tom is going to die. But, then again, so am I. It's just that Tom will in all likelihood die a lot sooner than I will. Maybe not in the next week, next month... But he COULD. It's a pretty good bet he won't challenge his cousin's longevity. (She's 93.) Tom is 71. 80 is a long shot. 75, actually, is probably not likely. He could live comfortably for a year...or maybe not. He's tough. And he's stubborn.

But the fact of the matter is that Tom and I have a finite -- and limited -- amount of time left together...so every day has to count. It's not a big surprise...but it IS something that I would prefer not to be thinking about. But mostly I'm thinking about what will make him happy and comfortable. I love him.

And I have to go to bed.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: catspaw49
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 03:50 AM

I know you knew but you just turned a huge corner which Karen and I had to turn as well. There is nothing more important or precious than our time together. Great value lies in each somewhat fleeting moment........

Much Love to Both of You from Both of Us


Pat and Karen

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:55 AM

"But mostly I'm thinking about what will make him happy and comfortable. I love him."

Says it all.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Megan L
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 09:05 AM

Thinking of you both Days don't matter, minutes are precious

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 09:58 AM

Can you take some of this time while Curmudgeon is in the hospital to empty that room and build a ramp and have the house set up properly to receive someone who needs to be rolled from the car to the bed in a room set so he can't easily fall out of bed or fall out of the chair? I know this was your plan, but you had daily comings and goings tying up your time to make those preparations.

I hope they're able to send home a comfortable Tom, and perhaps offer a salve that, when applied, softens the obstinance of the patient about doing things in a way so it doesn't result in a fall or an extra trip up and down stairs for you. :)

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: SINSULL
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 10:12 AM

One day at a time, Linn. In a way you have been given a gift, a chance to spend as much quality time together as possible.
Thinking of you both,
Mary

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:18 PM

I thought I'd get home from the hospital this afternoon and get all sorts of things done. Uh uh. Gravity is turned way up. 5:30 is a lousy time for a nap...so that's out. Will call Tom in a little while. HE was taking a nap when I left the hospital...

But I actually got some stuff accomplished during the visit. (Besides the fact that Tom said he felt more alive, alert and energetic after I got there.) Got him to order lunch, first off. And was able to sign some of the innumerable papers that seem to materialize (and, even with a template -- which he didn't have with him -- is very difficult for him).

I've been trying to put together a list of the songs Tom sang along with who he learned them from, and we made major inroads today. We also learned a lot from a cardiologist/ICD specialist who remembered Tom from when he was in the CCU after breaking his ankle a year and a half ago. (And, more importantly, I feel very confident of her analysis and input.) And got all of Jan Marx's photos from 2007 PMFF mounted and in page protectors to put in the archives. Oh, and read a bit more of "Gastronomical Me" by M.F.K. Fisher to Tom.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 09 Nov 13 - 06:57 PM

I chatted briefly with Tom this morning, Linn. Not a satisfying conversation due to background music, I think, but it was so good to as least hear his soft voice.

Love to you both,

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 01:34 AM

I am sure you will continue to do your best to help Tom as much as you possibly can. I wish he could be safe and at home with you.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 08:16 AM

I don't know whether I need to be concerned or not...

Tom was napping when I left the hospital yesterday at 3:30. I called him around 6:00 and found he was still asleep. His nurse ordered him a tuna salad sandwich and some mac & cheese for when he woke in case the kitchen was closed. When I called again at 9:30, he was back asleep. He had been awake for a little while, but all he'd wanted to eat was ice cream, which he was given.

I just called this morning (8:00-ish)...he's still asleep. I didn't talk to his nurse, but I will as soon as I get there a little later this morning. (If not sooner when I call again.)

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: maeve
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 02:59 PM

Thinking of you, Linn. There's a (((hug))) for each of you flapping in the air just to your right.

Maeve

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 04:16 PM

I'll take the left.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Mrrzy
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 04:22 PM

If you take it it's not left.

A little levity to help things along.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ChanteyLass
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 05:56 PM

I hope Tom is having pleasant dreams! You might want to take a nap too and have your own pleasant dreams. Sending Light, Love, and Hugs!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 05:57 PM

If we didn't keep laughing, we'd slit our wrists...and there's no future in that.

Today was a pretty intense day -- on both ends of the spectrum. It ranged from the kind of discussion with several of Tom's doctors, his nurse, Tom and I, the kind of discussion you don't look forward to, but which is a necessity and a reality...regarding issues that really can't be postponed any further.

And a surprise gift left in the waiting room and brought in by the receptionist. The card on the top reads, "Tom and Linn, Sending love and good healing energy!" It was signed, "The World." While I suspect its origins were a little more local, it included a bottle of wine, a plum tart, a wonderful chorizo, kale and potato soup (heavily garlicked) which I'm eating right now along with a slice from the included boule. And a autumnally colored and beautifully scented bouquet.

And three waves of visiting friends, with a long visit from two of Tom's grade and high school classmates sandwiched in the middle.

Tom's energy level stayed really good throughout the visits and the conversations -- all of them -- were lively. And, even after being married to Tom for 31-1/2 years, I learned more about him.

We're both "carpe-ing the snot out of" every "diem"...

I'll know more about the immediate game plan tomorrow. Tom had moved back into bed just before I left. I'll call him in a little while and then again later to say goodnight.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Noreen
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 06:34 PM

Sounds like a wonderful day, Linn. May you and Tom have many more.

Well done, the World ��

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,MaineDog
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 06:51 PM

I'm remembering the time when Gail was suffering in and out of the hospital, its not an easy job to see a spouse in difficulty.
He needs you now to be an advocate and guardian, from this fact you can call up strength that you didn't know you have.

I recently went thru a major combination of illnesses that I muddled through without realizing how serious the were. Now that I am better, I can see that I should have had more faith in the quality of the medical providers who helped me thru it all. I wasted a lot of energy worrying about insurance details that I didn't understand properly, and also medical details, because I did not have an advocate.

So, do your best in the areas of your abilities, get help from trusted friends, but understand that you are not in control of the situation, and call upon your personal higher power for wisdom and solace. (also use plenty of wine and music!)
Best of wishes for you both,
Jim

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 07:15 PM

I am here.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Charley Noble
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 08:55 PM

Lots more hugs from Judy and I.

Charlie and Judy

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:11 PM

Thank you all for being here when we both need you. I just talked to Tom -- he wasn't awake when I called around 7pm. We said goodnight and I'll call him again in the morning. I just had a wonderful two hour conversation with a friend of ours in Ontario, Canada. There just doesn't seem to be enough time to talk to friends...there are so many more I need to connect with by phone.

Maine Dog, I've been Tom's advocate and guardian through an awful lot especially over the past 10 years. No way I'm quitting now. This is all a part of the cycle of life. I wouldn't miss it even if I could, hard as it is. When he comes home, we'll have even more support (from local services) than we've had, and I know we'll need it. And we have an incredible bunch of friends, local and (thanks to Mudcat) around the world.

If we make it to December 15th, we'll have been together for 33 years.

Oh...I've got to go to bed, I think. Good night. Tomorrow is another day...

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: ranger1
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 10:23 PM

Hugs.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Jeri
Date: 10 Nov 13 - 11:27 PM

Hugs from me, too.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Stilly River Sage
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 12:20 AM

What a wonderful gift someone sent. Thanks, whoever you are - for that thoughtful gesture.

Linn, a huge hug. Get enough sleep so you can make it through the day, whatever it throws at you.

SRS

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Megan L
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 03:19 AM

thinking of you both

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,open mike
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 04:16 AM

Linn, take a deep breath. A caregiver's life can be a stressful one. Hugs to both you and Tom during this trying time. Enjoy each moment!

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Sandra in Sydney
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 04:58 AM

adding to the hugs winging your way.

sandra

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Janie
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 06:04 AM

I haven't chimed in much, Linn, but do read daily. Continuing to keep both of you in my thoughts and meditations.

Janie

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: jacqui.c
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 06:50 AM

What Janie said.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: gnu
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 07:41 AM

Hope ya got some sleep.

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: mouldy
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 08:37 AM

Your strength and resilience never ceases to amaze me. And that goes for you both. It IS part of the circle of life, as you say...but that don't make it any easier to bear!

Love, strength and healing (in all ways) to you both!

Andrea

xxx

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: Bat Goddess
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 10:24 AM

Tom was asleep when I called him around 8 a.m. He HAD been awake, but was back asleep according to his nurse. So I got showered and my hair washed and now I'm eating some more of that wonderful soup and bread left for us yesterday.

I just posted this Saturday's Press Room shanty sing -- life does, indeed, go on. I don't know if Tom will still be at the hospital on Saturday or at home in hospice/palliative care. Either way, I need both to sing and to be with friends.

Just talked to him -- he's awake, alert, sounding good...and impatient for me to get there. So I'll wrap up a few things (like my breakfast) and head out soon.

I'm taking a small child's guitar with me (it's just easier than carrying his Guild -- and will be easier in his lap as well) and a handful of thumb picks so that Tom can demonstrate for me his "Anglo-Saxon crash thud" method of guitar playing -- then I can start to relearn how to play guitar, but with his style. Bringing some archival work, too, to occupy myself if he needs to rest. I'll be there again for most of the day.

Linn

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: catspaw49
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 03:29 PM

Much Love.......big hugs!


Spaw

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Bill D
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 03:49 PM

Lots of us reading daily and sending all the positive thoughts we can muster.
Just "keep on keeping on"... as if you needed that advice ☺ ♥♥♥ ☺

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: Nancy King
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 04:25 PM

Thinking of you and Tom, and sending good wishes your way!

Nancy

Subject: RE: BS: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update]
From: GUEST,Joan
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 05:24 PM

Sorry to hear this, We have been away. Since I got my I-phone I spend little time on the computer. We had to be on Airplane Mode while out of the country. Not keeping up with a lot of things. Much going on in our lives too, with the two new great-grand kids life is, "get ready GO"!!! :))
We got home last night from our 60th wedding anniversary present. Had a wonderful time in George Town, Exhumas. That's where we would take the boat in the old days, I would play Tom's disk every Friday night.. We missed our Fri. nights at PR.
(Still do )I will try to keep looking at mudcat and what is happening. Our prayers are out there with the three rainbows we saw over the ocean... Can rainbow light count??

Subject: RE: Curmudgeon In Hospital - Nov 2013 [update 7 Nov]
From: gnu
Date: 11 Nov 13 - 05:59 PM

Jus checkin.