HOPELESSLY MIDWESTERN
(Joel Mabus)

If you live life in the middle and not on the edge,
You're hopelessly Midwestern.
If a big weekend means cutting the hedge,
You're hopelessly Midwestern.
If you shop at Sears and drink a lot of iced tea,
Love to dance the Polka and watch TV.
Then the verdict is in and the jury agrees.
You're hopelessly Midwestern.

CHO: Hopelessly Midwestern, corn-fed boys and girls.
Hopelessly Midwestern. square pegs in a big round world.
Well, you can go from sea to shining sea,
But right in the middle, that's the place for me.
And if you like it like that then you're a lot like me,
You're hopelessly Midwestern.

If you like all of your roads, narrow and straight,
You're hopelessly Midwestern.
And if you think sushi looks a lot like bait.
You're hopelessly Midwestern.
If you like your potatoes mashed and your chicken fried,
Your green beans boiled and your apples pied.
And you ain't trusted nothin' since Rock Hudson died.
You're hopelessly Midwestern.

If annual rainfall is a real hot topic,
You're hopelessly Midwestern.
And if the Pocono Mountains sounds kind of exotic,
You're hopelessly Midwestern.
If you like Gerald Ford just as much as Betty,
And a big old corn field looks mighty pretty.
And you'd rather go to hell then to New York City.
You're hopelessly Midwestern.

@American @humor
filename[ MIDWESTN
RiB
OCT99
mudcat.org

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