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CRUELISH SISTER
(Sadie Damascus)

Two sisters lived by the harbor mouth
parlez vous
Some guy came by to court them both
parlez vous
He stole their hearts, both one and two
He stole them better than he knew
rinky dinky, parlez vous

He took them riding on his horse
And he fell for the younger one, of course
He bought the old sister things
But he gave the younger his gold rings

“Oh little sister, come with me
We’ll walk the cliffs above the sea”
But as they walked along the edge
She shoved her tumbling off a ledge

“Oh sister help, o save me please!
There’s rocks and sharks and stormy seas!”
The older sister grinned and said
“No, I’ll only get married when you are dead.”

“O, throw me a rope,” she cried in fear
“You can marry him and I’ll disappear”
“No, I did not kill you just for that
But next to you, my butt looks fat”

So the older sister walked away
And the drowned one floated all the day
I found her lying on the sand
I took the pretty lady’s hand

I made a backscratcher from it
I tried to use her every bit
I dried her guts and I tanned her hide
And made a saddle for me to ride

I used every part of the lady fair
I sold her gown and her underwear
I had her gold rings melted down
And that’s how I got this here gold crown

I made a guitar from various bones
With a nice voicebox and a wondrous tone
I strung it with some of her long dark hair
And tuned it with pegs from her fingers fair

(I made her feet into vases neat
I made her toes into dominoes
I used her head for baking bread
Her teeth for a rattle to scare the cattle)

Then I heard of a nearby wedding planned
I went to crash it and jam with the band
I left my saddle and horse in the stable
And grabbed a sear at the bride’s own table

But as I turned to remove the guitar
From my back, it started to swear
And holler, “My sister acts as if
She hadn’t pushed me off a cliff”

And the saddle outside cried loud and clear,
“You drowned me, but I made it here”
Then voices from pockets and bags and teeth
Cried, “Give back my boyfriend, you murdering thief!”

So the sister was busted and she was burned
The wedding gifts, they were all returned
I gave all the stuff I made from the sister
Who drowned to the boyfriend, because he missed her

Now he plays the music from the heart
He and his love will never part
He rests his head on her breast again
And what does he keep his pencils in?

So maids, don’t envy your sister fair
You can cut the cards, you can learn to share
You don’t have to do your sister in
You’ve got one sister, there’s lots of men.

Child #10
@parody
filename[ TWOSIS14
SOF
Feb07

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