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CRUELISH SISTER (Sadie Damascus) Two sisters lived by the harbor mouth parlez vous Some guy came by to court them both parlez vous He stole their hearts, both one and two He stole them better than he knew rinky dinky, parlez vous He took them riding on his horse And he fell for the younger one, of course He bought the old sister things But he gave the younger his gold rings “Oh little sister, come with me We’ll walk the cliffs above the sea” But as they walked along the edge She shoved her tumbling off a ledge “Oh sister help, o save me please! There’s rocks and sharks and stormy seas!” The older sister grinned and said “No, I’ll only get married when you are dead.” “O, throw me a rope,” she cried in fear “You can marry him and I’ll disappear” “No, I did not kill you just for that But next to you, my butt looks fat” So the older sister walked away And the drowned one floated all the day I found her lying on the sand I took the pretty lady’s hand I made a backscratcher from it I tried to use her every bit I dried her guts and I tanned her hide And made a saddle for me to ride I used every part of the lady fair I sold her gown and her underwear I had her gold rings melted down And that’s how I got this here gold crown I made a guitar from various bones With a nice voicebox and a wondrous tone I strung it with some of her long dark hair And tuned it with pegs from her fingers fair (I made her feet into vases neat I made her toes into dominoes I used her head for baking bread Her teeth for a rattle to scare the cattle) Then I heard of a nearby wedding planned I went to crash it and jam with the band I left my saddle and horse in the stable And grabbed a sear at the bride’s own table But as I turned to remove the guitar From my back, it started to swear And holler, “My sister acts as if She hadn’t pushed me off a cliff” And the saddle outside cried loud and clear, “You drowned me, but I made it here” Then voices from pockets and bags and teeth Cried, “Give back my boyfriend, you murdering thief!” So the sister was busted and she was burned The wedding gifts, they were all returned I gave all the stuff I made from the sister Who drowned to the boyfriend, because he missed her Now he plays the music from the heart He and his love will never part He rests his head on her breast again And what does he keep his pencils in? So maids, don’t envy your sister fair You can cut the cards, you can learn to share You don’t have to do your sister in You’ve got one sister, there’s lots of men. Child #10 @parody filename[ TWOSIS14 SOF Feb07 |
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