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(Bob Coltman)

Old Captain Hanley was wounded in the war
Come a-rapping, come a-tapping, come a-knocking on Mazie's door
His old peg leg didn't faze him none
Looked little Mazie over and he said to her, Hon:

I'm an old soldier
I'm a-gonna roll you soon as I can
I got teeth to keep my gold in
Whiskers on my soul
And I'm a-gonna roll you once
And then I'll roll you again

He drew out his hanger and he backed her to the wall
His beard was so prickly, it made her skin crawl
Now hold it, said Mazie, not so daggone fast
First you must answer some questions I'm a-gonna ask
Where is my needle and where is my thread
And what do I keep down at the foot of my bed
And how many stitches in this long nightgown
That's three you must answer if you want to roll me down

Needle's in the haystack, you've run out of thread
You keep your skimpies at the foot of your bed
And not too many stitches in your nightgown to tear
I'll roll you down if you just show me where

Now what is the thing that I most desire
And what is the thing that I do most require
And what is the thing that's both pointed and round
Answer me that if you want to roll me down

Now I've got the thing that you most do desire
And I've got the thing that you most do require
And pointed and round is here under my hand
I'll roll you down if you'll just tell me when

Well will you be careful and will you be true
Gentle my body and humor my rue
Be kind to my clothes as you rip them away
What, tell me what, will my dear mother say

You know I can't answer a one of those
To Hell with your mother, to Hell with your clothes
To Hell with your questions, I'll give you a kiss
And if that don't keep you quiet, I'll try some of this

Now old Captain Hanley had no more to say
He hauled on her nightie and he ripped it away
Took off his britches and his regimental hat
Ain't gonna tell you what happened after that.

note: son of Child #46 (NOTE: See alsoÿCAPWEDER)
Recorded by Coltman- Son of Child
Copyright Bob Coltman, 1973
@parody @courtship
filename[ CAPHANLY

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